by Styles, T
“Jace, do you like Brittany?” She asked him sitting on his back door step.
“She cool, why?”
“Do she do stuff for you?”
“What you talkin’ about?”
“You know, kiss you, and touch your stuff?”
“Naw…not really.” He said. “But she dresses nice and smells real good.”
That hurt and she knew he couldn’t say the same thing about her. So she started asking Shirley and Charles for money. First she’d ask for money for the ice cream truck, then it was money for new clothes. She learned how to please Shirley and Charles so well, that they soon gave her everything she wanted, including alcohol. Day after day, she would suppress what she felt inside, until she thought her feelings didn’t matter anymore. Her impressions of life and people were distorted and her reasoning was way off. In the end more damage had been done to her young mind than could ever be repaired.
One afternoon while preparing to go see Jace outside, a white man knocked on the door. Shirley answered and he asked for Harmony, claiming to have known her father.
“Come in.” Shirley told him.
The stranger walked inside with an envelope in hand and said, “I’d like to speak to her alone.” Harmony knew instantly that this must be the man her father told her would come and visit. “This is private.” He continued.
“If you don’t speak in front of me you can just turn around and leave. This here is my house.”
“I see,” he started adjusting his tie, “well, my name is Terrace Strong, and I’m Cornell’s lawyer." He spoke calmly.
“Cornell?” Shirley said sarcastically. “We have done everything we could to get in touch with that fool, after all, I am lookin’ afta his daughter you know.”
“I do.”
“Do you?” She paused. “‘Cause as you can see, she don’t want for nothin’. Where you think the money is comin’ from? Off trees?” Shirley continued, speaking of the new clothes Harmony was wearing, that she had licked her ass to get. “And now he wants to reach out?”
“Mam, I’m not here to argue with you. I’m here to tell Harmony, and you, that Cornell is dead." The words hit Harmony like a ton of bricks and she dropped to the floor. Hope was gone the day her uncle entered her room, but hope was lost now. “Now, he asked me to give her something, and that’s what I’m here to do.”
“So them cops finally got him, huh?”
The man did not respond. Instead he nervously handed Harmony the envelope, and said, “He loved you very much.”
Shirley snatched the envelope from her and counted five thousand dollars. “I know you not tellin’ me this all he gave me to take care of her?”
“He didn’t give YOU anything. The money belongs to Harmony.” And just like that, he walked out the door.
Harmony had the swollen envelope filled with money in her hands for less than a minute before Shirley took it from her. However, Shirley was onto something, his lawyer managed to take everything from Cornell before his dying day. In the end leaving Harmony with nothing for her future. Once a millionaire Cornell Phillips died with not a penny to his name.
“Well, looks like he wasn’t such a dead beat after all.” Shirley said tucking the money in her bra. “And don’t worry girl, you keep takin’ care of me like you do, and I’ll keep takin’ care of you.”
In a daze, Harmony shuffled her bare feet across the dirty kitchen floor and poured a glass of grape Kool-Aid from the refrigerator. Then she took a chair, pushed it in front of the fridge, climbed on top of it and grabbed the bottle of vodka from the freezer. Hopping off the chair, she poured it into her drink and swallowed it all. Having developed a tolerance for liquor, when the Kool-Aid mixture was done, she poured another glass of vodka straight before drinking it all. And just like that the trials and tribulations of Harmony Phillip's life began.
Present Day
Green Door – Adult Mental Health Care Clinic
Northwest, Washington DC
“So talk to me, Ms. Phillips, tell me at what point in your life, did everything else change?” Mrs. Christina Zahm, asked jotting down notes on Harmony’s health chart.
“What do you mean when did everything else change? My life has been fucked up from the very beginning. Haven’t you been listening to me?”
“Yes I have.” Christina said putting a few loose strands of her brown hair behind her ear. Her white skin flushed from the heat in the room. Although it was summertime, the air conditioning was broken and no one had bothered to repair it yet. “And I know you know that I have been listening. But why bring kids into this world when you knew you hated yourself?”
“Because I was raped as a child, I don’t deserve to have children?”
“I’m not saying that. It’s just that, well, from what I read in the paper, you were so brutal with your children.”
“I was.”
“But why subject innocent children to a life so cold?”
“So…everything is my fault now? I told you my life story…and how I was brought up and after everything it’s still my fault? What about those who were supposed to protect me?” Harmony said pointing at herself. Her body frail from years of alcohol abuse, and her face loaded with hate lines.
“Harmony, I don’t mean to place blame. But in order to get down to the heart of the matter, I need to know the why’s to some of my questions. It is through the why’s that I can help you over these hurdles so that we can make a change.”
“By change you mean you’ll stop me from drinking alcohol? Or help me love my kids?”
“I mean we can help you change your life and everything about it. And when your life is changed, you’ll be so much happier. And maybe even repair the relationship with your children.”
“They don’t want me and I don’t want them.” Harmony said looking down at her worn out tennis shoes.
“When they see you’ve changed, they may.”
“You blame me don’t you?” Harmony said with raised brows. “You blame me for what happened to all of those people.”
“I don’t blame you for anything.” Mrs. Zhan sighed. “I’ve already said that. So how about we start over. Tell me about your teenage years.”
“How early?”
“Take me back to your high school days. Let’s start there.”
PART TWO
Summer of 1988
Southeast, Washington, DC
Harder…Stronger
Jace Sherrod
The basement in me and my aunt Karen’s house was dim, but bright enough for me to see five members of my seven-man crew. The only light in the room sat above the pool table makin’ it look greener than it actually was. The silence was heavy and my men were starin’ at me. But I was lookin’ at the nigga Bam on the pool table, tied up like a fuckin’ hog, with rope binding his ankles and wrists together behind his back. A red sock was stuffed in his mouth and duct tape held it in place.
When Paco moved a little, I looked at him and then all of my men. I knew what they wanted from me, but I wasn’t ready to bring it like that. I wasn’t ready to kill.
“How much longer you think we should wait?” Paco, the getaway driver of my crew asked. “I mean, it ain’t like we can let him go. We gotta do somethin’.”
Paco was light skin and shorter than the rest of us, but girls thought he was cute so he stayed with a different broad with him at all times. The only time he didn’t was when we had meetings.
“We gonna wait until I say we move.” I said sternly. “Now shut the fuck up you fuckin’ up my concentration.”He huffed a little but then leaned back against the wall with the rest of my crew, they all had guns in hand ready.
To be seventeen, Paco was the best nigga to have behind a steering wheel when you was in a jam. He had dreams of being a Nascar driver and even hired Grand, Kali’s uncle to teach him how to race. I had to give it to the nigga, he was pretty good at it, too. The only thing with Paco was he was too anxious and too impulsive to take anything seriously
. So that was his downfall.
When I looked at my TAG sports watch I wondered what was takin’ Kali so long. He had one job to do and he was fuckin’ late at doin’ it. But ten minutes later, he came walkin’ downstairs with a little girl wearing a blue dress and his cousin Vaughn who I hated. Like always, he was wearing a brown leather strap on his back wit’ a silver hatchet inside. His favorite large army green duffle bag was in his other hand. He slept from place to place and most of the shit he owned was in the bag. He tossed it to the floor when they reached the bottom step.
Kali maintained his hold of the girl by her forearm until she shook him off and ran to her father on the pool table. Me, Paco, Kreshon, Herb Dayo and Sick Sense all stood up straight and moved toward him. This wasn’t in the plan so what was she doing here? And why was this nigga Vaughn wit’ him?”
“Vaughn, get the fuck up out my basement, cuz.” I said.
“Nigga, what?” He said gripping his tool.
My men closed in on him and Vaughn looked at us like he wanted to bust off. But he wasn’t that stupid.
“Cousin, I’ma be upstairs.” He said to Kali, gritting on us. “Let me know when you ready to roll.” Kali was already explosive but Vaughn was his detonator.
When he went upstairs, I addressed my attention to Kali.
“Fuck is up, young?” I said lookin’ at the kid. “You was ‘sposed to bring his partner the nigga that ganked us. Why you got shawty? And what the fuck Vaughn doin’ wit’ you?”
“He drove the car for me to get away.”
“You know I don’t fuck wit’ that nigga.” I reminded him. “So now he know all our business?”
“He family, J. He ain’t sayin’ shit.”
“Fuck that what’s up wit’ the kid? And where is Star?”
“I couldn’t find him.” Kali said.
The seven-year old girl hugged her father around the neck as we waited on Kali’s response. Although Bam’s mouth was bound, I could tell by the way his body jerked that he was crying. He ain’t like seeing his kid here no more than we did.
“Daddy, what’s going on? Why did they take me from school?” She sobbed. “Why won’t they let me go? I want my mommy.”
Bam, who we kidnapped a few hours earlier, looked at us with pleading eyes. But this shit was his fault. Had he and Star not hit our stash house, he wouldn’t be in this situation.
“Yo, bitch, shut the fuck up, ‘fore I put somethin’ to your ass.” Kali yelled at the girl. “Screamin’ all up in my man’s crib. I’m sick of hearin’ your mouth.”
“You don’t tell me what to do! You don’t tell me to do nothin’!” She screamed back.
Enraged, Kali rushed up to the girl and smacked her in the mouth with the butt of his gun. Blood splashed all over the dress she was wearing and dampened the rug. Now, her DNA was everywhere!
“Who the fuck is you talkin’ too?” He said aiming his gun at her head. The barrel pressed firmly against her temple. He talked to her as if she was a nigga on the street who just shorted him of his money. “I will blow your mothafuckin’ head off.”
I couldn’t believe what I was seein’. I was already havin’ a problem killin’ a nigga who was in to me for twenty grand, but killin’ a kid was out of the question.
“Kali,” I whispered walking up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “you need to put that shit down, man. You not ‘bout to kill no kid in my crib.”
The little girl was shaking scared and Bam was trying to get himself untied and off the table. He was doing a pretty good job of it too, until Paco hit Bam on the head with the back of his gun. The rest of my men provided cover.
“This little bitch been givin’ me and Vaughn shit since we got here.” He said, still aimed, the gun shaking in his hand. One wrong move and she would have a bullet in her head.
“Kali, put the fuckin’ gun down!” I yelled. “Now!” Kali looked at the little girl and then at me.
“Herb, you on it?”
“You know it,” he said holding his .45 automatic in position in case I needed him to smoke Kali.
Kali looked at him but listened to me. “I’m not gonna ask you again, man.”
Finally he lowered his weapon and tucked his gun in his waist. The little girl held onto her mouth and judging by the way her jaw shifted, I knew it was broken.
“So you were really gonna shoot me?” He asked Herb Dayo.
Herb put his gun back in his waist and remained silent.
“What the fuck is goin’ on, Kali?”
“I’m sorry, man. I...I took shit too far wit’ the kid.” He said pacing the floor.
“You always sayin’ how I be fuckin’ up, and then I go fuck up again.” He continued bashing himself like he normally did. “I don’t know what’s wrong wit’ me. It’s like, I be meanin’ to keep shit one hundred, but when shit don’t go my way, I lose it!”
“Kali, what the fuck is she doin’ here?” I said bringing him back to what was important. “And where is Star?”
Somebody told the nigga we was on the way, so he left town. And then I remembered you and Tony Wop talkin’ ‘bout Bam havin’ a daughter. So I found out what school she went to, picked her up and brought her here. This nigga gotta give us our product now.”
“We been torturing this nigga for a hour, and he still say he ain’t got shit.” Herb Dayo said. “I gotta believe he tellin’ the truth.”
Herb was light skin and good with washing money. He was older than us, especially me and Kali who were only seventeen.
“Bringin’ the kid here was stupid!” Sick Sense said. “And I know somebody saw you.”
Sick Sense had good senses, hence the nickname. But like most niggas he had his downfalls. He smoked a lot of weed but was good with scoping out scenes. So before we made a move we sent him in to check things out first. We did that every time we moved a stash house until last week. Had we done it, Star and Bam would not have gotten us for our product and money. Sick’s other downfall was that he was an ugly nigga who hung wit’ faggy Barry from 58th, although he think we ain’t know it.
“Naw, they’ll probably think it’s somebody out Maryland. Or that dude who be rapin’ and killin’ them kids.”
“Nigga, you kidnapped her with a hatchet on your back! I know somebody saw you.” Paco persisted.
“Kali, ain’t nobody gonna make a lotta fuss if a dope boy come up missin’, but a kid is a whole ‘notha story.” Kreshon added.
Kreshon was tall, linky and sly. He had some shit with him, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. But he was good with collecting the money from the soldiers on my squad, on time all the time, so I kept him around.
“I know for a fact ain’t nobody see me.”
“How?” Sick Sense added. “You fucked up before and we had to clean up behind you. You ain’t ‘bout to get me in no shit again.”
“And what about fingerprints? Did you touch anything?” Herb Dayo continued.
“No..I don’t think...um, I can’t remember.”
“Well I’m with Sick.” Herb Dayo added. “You ain’t ‘bout to get me in no shit either.”
“If you a member of this crew, and you gettin’ from this crew then you already in some shit.” I said looking at my men. “All of you. We in this together.” When I heard or saw no more objections I redirected my attention to Kali.
“Go upstairs and make sure that nigga Vaughn not in my house.” I told him.
“I’m sorry, man. For real.”
As he was walking up the stairs Herb said, “We gotta get rid of that nigga, Jace. He a liability.”
Kali’s footsteps stopped and we all looked at Herb crazy. If Kali heard him it could cause a serious fight on top of everything else we had going on down here. But when he continued to walk up the stairs, I knew he didn’t hear him.
With Kali gone I took the tape off of Bam’s mouth and tried to talk some sense into him.
“Please...Let me daughter go! Please don’t hurt her no more.”
&nbs
p; “I don’t wanna hurt her, but I need to know where my product is. You stealin' from me made shit hot with my peeps and now I owe. Where my shit and I’ll let you go. Both of you.”
“I don’t know.” He sobbed. “On my life I would tell you if I knew.”
I looked at my men and knew we were all thinking the same thing. He was telling the truth. Problem was, it ain’t matter. I put the tape back on his mouth and tried to get my mind together.
If I didn’t kill this nigga, and his kid too, I was gonna lose respect from my squad and my pops. I never took a life before, and I ain’t wanna start today. I decided to walk away from the situation for a moment and consult with the one person I could always count on.
Southeast, Washington, DC
Five-Year Pussy Plan
Harmony Phillips
We had been in class for a minute and already I was irritated. And fuck Woodson High School, fuck the student body staff and teachers. I’m all about getting mine and school was blockin’ my style. That’s why I told people it was my last day even though they thought I was bullshitting.
I was sitting between Constance and Trip, two chicks I kicked it with every now and again when for real all I wanted to do was get out of class, get a bottle of vodka, smoke and fuck. But the clock was taking its sweet time to tick by.
“Did ya’ll hear about that girl…The one who was kidnapped from school the other day?” Constance asked. “They saying some dude took her when she went to the bathroom.”
“From where?” I asked going through my MCM bag.
“I think it was from Nalle Elementary.”
“Damn! How did he do that?”
“I don’t know…but they testing for fingerprints now.” Constance continued opening her book bag.
“Ya’ll coming to my party right?” Ebony asked standing over top of us when the bell rang for class to began. “It’s gonna be like that.”