by CM Wondrak
Again, I said nothing. At this point there was absolutely nothing to say.
“Do you hate me? Are you acting out because you hate me for how I raised you?” Her voice shook with emotion, the corners of her eyes growing wet with what must’ve been tears.
“No,” I spoke, finally breaking my silence. “But I feel like… I feel like you resent me.”
Kayla shook her head a bit. “Never. Not once in my life have I ever resented you. What happened to your parents wasn’t your fault. What happened to you ten years ago wasn’t your fault, either—”
“Right,” I cut in, bitterness laced with my voice, “it was that guy. Enzo’s.” I tried not to say his name like it meant anything to me, tried to give some hesitation before saying it, just so she didn’t see how comfortable I was talking about him. “It’s his fault I’m so fucked up.”
She winced at my language. “You’re not fucked up. Everyone goes through things in their life, but you can’t lash out at your friends, especially when you know they’re going through a hard time. You are aware that, even if Aubree gets out and comes back, you—”
“I have to stay away from her, I know.” I went to get out of the car, but Kayla stopped me by reaching for me, grabbing my arm. God, could this conversation just be over already? Hadn’t we talked enough for the day? With the cold shoulder she’d given me earlier, and now this conversation, I was done with today.
“I love you, Tenley. I love you no matter what. I hope you know that. I know it might seem like you’re alone, but you’re not—and if you keep pushing everyone away, no one will be able to help you.”
As if I wanted help. As if I needed it. As if I wouldn’t be able to go on with my life without it. Fuck her. Fuck everyone.
But I didn’t say that. Instead, I said, “I love you, too.” That seemed to placate her, enough that she released my arm and let me get out. Thankfully, Kayla was going back to work, which was good, because it would allow me some time alone. Time to think.
Once I was inside my room, I fell onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. I’d kept the light off, wanting to drown myself in the darkness. Of course, since it was early afternoon, there was still quite a bit of daylight streaming in through the window. Too much, so I closed my eyes and pretended I was back in that basement, nothing but the rank, stale air as my company.
Aubree really did try to kill herself. That, or she regressed back to cutting her wrists. Either way, it was clear my words had pushed her there. She’d already been in a delicate state, and then I went and was a bitch to her. I should feel guilty. I should feel bad, but I didn’t.
Not having remorse… that was a bad sign for me, wasn’t it?
Regardless of that answer, I knew one thing: it wasn’t Enzo. Enzo hadn’t snuck into Aubree’s house and cut her up. This time, it was on me. If she died in the hospital, if she never got out of rehab or wherever her parents would send her—for they’d surely send her someplace after this—it was all on my shoulders. My fault.
Not Enzo. Me. And I didn’t feel bad about it.
Opening my eyes, I pulled out my phone and dialed Enzo’s number. He picked up on the second ring, and I didn’t give him the chance to speak before I said, “We need to go. We need to… I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” If we didn’t get out of here soon, if we didn’t leave this town and everyone in it in the dust soon… I might just blow everything up.
I should’ve told him about Kayla finding the pill packaging, should’ve told him about Aubree and what she’d done to herself—not because of me, because I was not responsible for another’s actions. But I’d been the final straw. I’d pushed her. I didn’t force herself to cut her wrists again, but I’d hurt her to the point where she thought she had nothing left.
I really was a bitch. A heartless bitch who just didn’t care.
“What’s wrong?” Instead of addressing what I’d said, he asked something else.
Sighing, I whispered, “I might’ve been bad. Not to you, but to Aubree. I guess she tried to kill herself last night, and now she’s in the hospital. It’s because of what I said.” What I’d said and what Enzo had done to Kyle. We were alike in that way, hurting everyone else around us, hurting everyone but each other.
“You don’t owe her anything,” Enzo’s rough voice hissed on the other line.
“I know.”
“Don’t feel bad.”
“I don’t.” The line was quiet after I said it, and I bit my inner cheek, knowing a good girl would never admit to not having remorse over something like this. “Kayla is driving me nuts. I can’t… I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend anymore. I need to get out of here.” My desperation was plain, obvious to anyone with ears.
Enzo was quiet for a while, for a long while. I heard nothing but his breathing for so long it reminded me of the beginning, when he’d first begun to call me, saying nothing, begging me to remember him. Now that I did, how the hell could I go on as if nothing had changed? Everything had changed for me the moment he’d come back to me.
My heart skipped a beat when he finally spoke, “I might have found a place, but I need to make a few more calls to be sure. When we go, we need to make sure no one will chase after us, especially that aunt of yours. She’s always meddled where she doesn’t belong.”
“I know,” I agreed. A part of me wanted to suggest Enzo take care of her the same way he’d taken care of Kyle, but I knew Kayla didn’t have a gun in the house. She didn’t believe in them. And to have yet another suicide in this town, so soon after Kyle’s and Aubree’s attempt… someone might start to piece things together.
No, no, we couldn’t risk it. We had to deal with Kayla in a way that would stop her from chasing after us but wouldn’t raise eyebrows the same way a corpse would.
“I might have an idea,” I spoke, tentative. “But I need help pulling it off.” I had no idea whether or not Enzo would let me handle Kayla or if he’d want to deal with her himself—and add onto that the fact that I had no clue if my plan would work, but I wanted to take the reins on this.
I’d caused Aubree to regress, and I didn’t care. Enzo had killed Kyle for me, and now it was my turn to prove to him that I was willing to do anything for him, for us.
With Enzo silent on the other line, I told him my idea, and all he came back with was: “What do you need from me?”
Oh, yes. We could do this. I could do this.
The end… the end was coming soon.
Chapter Fifteen – Tenley
It took another week to plan everything out, for Enzo to make sure we had somewhere to go after it was said and done. During that time, I kept my head down and focused on my homework, even if, in the end, it wouldn’t matter.
I wasn’t going to graduate at Banner High. By the time June rolled around, I would be long gone, out of this shithole of a town, living the rest of my life with Enzo Lee.
We’d met up one morning after Kayla had dropped me off at the school. I’d huddled near the front doors to Banner High, waiting to see her car pull away onto the road before calling him. He was parked in the back of the lot, and I’d met him halfway through the parking lot. He gave me everything I’d need.
Well, some of it. The rest of it I had to beg Kayla to take me to the grocery store for. As far as my aunt was concerned, I wanted to cook her dinner to apologize for the way I’d been acting, and she was shocked but supportive. Of course she was. Kayla knew no other way to parent.
It kind of felt like shooting fish in a barrel, or how I imagined shooting fish in a barrel felt like. Almost too easy.
Friday came, and by then, everything was prepared. It wasn’t that hard to make dinner between the time Kayla dropped me off after school and went back to work. By the time she got home, I’d be done, and by then, it’d be too late.
Enzo was able to get me what I needed to pull this off. I wasn’t sure what the official name for the pills was, but when you ground them up and mixed them with a drink or with food, it k
nocked you out. Roofies or something? I didn’t know, but that’s because it didn’t matter. As long as it worked.
I ended up mixing it with the pasta sauce. I was no cook, so I had to make something easy and simple, and that something was spaghetti with meatball sauce. It wasn’t a secret what I was making, since Kayla shadowed me in the grocery store and paid for the food.
Because, you know, she never let me get a job.
Not that I wanted to, but it was the principle of it all. I was never allowed to get a job, therefore I had no savings of my own. No money. No car to my name even if I had my license. Never allowed to date or go to the school dances. Never allowed to do much of anything, really.
That time in my life was over. I would not be the invisible Tenley Goddard anymore. If that meant shedding my name and becoming someone new, so be it. At least I’d have Enzo by my side.
My bare feet glided over the floor as I got everything ready. The drinks, the silverware; since we didn’t have a table, we’d do this on the couch in the living room, but that was fine. It didn’t matter where we did this, as long as the outcome was what I wanted.
And if it wasn’t? Well, then Kayla and I were going to have a problem… and I wouldn’t be above sticking Enzo on her. I didn’t want to act like he was my attack dog, but he’d made it more than clear he was willing to get rid of my problems permanently.
I had the plates ready near the stove, and I stood there, waiting for her to come home. I checked the time. She should be here any moment now. The anticipation danced in my veins, my heart only a bit wild in my chest. I was excited to do this. Being able to make your own decisions… it was freeing, like I was finally tasting the delicacies life had to offer.
I’d be damned if I let my freedom slip through my fingers.
When I heard the garage open, I stirred the pot with the sauce in it. Kayla walked in, dropping her purse and her keys on the counter before making a big show about sniffing the air, like I’d made something that smelled tasty, like chocolate chip cookies.
“It looks good,” she commented, but something was off in her voice. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I let it go. “Let me run upstairs and change.” Kayla set a hand on my back, giving me what she probably thought was a loving rub before heading up the stairs to her room.
I started getting the plates ready, pausing only before I added the sauce onto the spaghetti. Obviously, I wouldn’t be eating it. I’d move it around on my plate, like I usually did with food, watching as she ate.
Kayla’s feet were oddly loud as she came back down, standing beside me and saying, “I still can’t believe you cooked.”
I handed her the plate. “I guess there’s a first time for everything. Forks are already in the living room. I already got the drinks out, too.”
She gave me a smile, but I could tell it was a strained one. Something was on her mind, but I didn’t care enough to ask what it was. Tonight wasn’t about her or whatever bad day at work she’d had. Tonight was about me finally breaking free.
We went into the living room, sitting on the couch side by side. She’d changed into baggy shorts and a plain white t-shirt, pulled her dark blonde hair into a low pony. Kayla looked tired, so very tired.
“Thank you for making dinner,” Kayla spoke, glancing at me as she grabbed her fork after turning the television on.
I shrugged, acting like it was no big deal, as if I was just trying to make up for how wild I’d been lately. If only she knew the truth, she wouldn’t be twisting that fork in the spaghetti and twirling herself a big mouthful of pasta.
I made sure to watch her take a few bites before starting to move around the food on my plate. I’d crushed them all up just to be safe, unsure how much I should give her. I didn’t know how long it would take to kick in, either. I guess it depended on how much she ate.
Time seemed to creep by, and I felt myself growing antsy. I could feel the heaviness in the air, and I knew there was something on my aunt’s mind. Whatever it was, it got her to not address the fact that I wasn’t eating a single bite, so I guess it was a good thing, whatever it was. Once she was passed out, I’d give Enzo a call, and we’d take it from there.
Tonight was the first step towards the rest of our lives.
Kayla finished her plate in remarkable time, but she didn’t move once she was finished. She simply set the plate on the coffee table and let out a sigh, drinking the rest of what was in her cup in two gulps. When she set her cup down, I saw her hand was shaking.
Was it kicking in already, or was it something else? God, I really hoped I didn’t give her too much. It wasn’t like I was well-versed in how much drugs to give someone to get them to pass out safely. Pretty sure drugs and safe weren’t supposed to be in the same sentence, anyway.
“Tenley,” Kayla started, turning to look at me, the worry in her eyes evident. “There’s something… I found something out today.”
I slowly set my plate down, holding her stare. Anytime she’d gotten a call during work, she’d found things out. Aubree, Kyle’s suicide, all the good stuff. She was upset at me before, for those things, but this… the way she was acting, it was different. Kayla looked like she wanted to run. “What?”
She said nothing, but she did let out an explosive sigh.
Again, I said, “What did you find out?”
“For a while, I…” Kayla paused, thinking it over. “I’ve had this weird feeling. I just couldn’t shake it, no matter what.” She lifted a hand to her head, rubbing her temple, as if she was getting a sudden headache. “It’s the same feeling I had years ago, with the man who kidnapped you, the same feeling that I felt when the police told me your parents were dead.”
Uh-oh. This wasn’t going to be good.
It was my turn to say nothing now, my jaw locking as I waited for more.
“I made a few calls,” she went on, leaning back on the couch. There was a long, pregnant pause there, and she shifted her weight, as if she couldn’t get comfortable… that, or her body was feeling oddly heavy. I hoped the latter. “And I found out he was released a few months ago.” When I made no moves to say anything, Kayla repeated, “The man who kidnapped you and killed your parents is out of prison, Tenley, and since he served his full sentence—”
She was going to say more, but something came over her. She blinked, reaching for her head once again. Her eyes were becoming unfocused, her facial expression droopy. Oh, I’d definitely say the drugs were kicking in.
Good thing too, because I had the feeling she was about to say she was worried he would come after me.
She was wrong, of course, because Enzo Lee was already here.
“I’m sorry, I don’t feel very good all of a sudden,” Kayla muttered. She tried to stand, but her legs gave out and she fell back onto the couch. Her head turned to look at me; she was having trouble keeping it up, so she laid back, her head on the cushion.
I figured it was safe enough to speak. After all, it was clear she wasn’t going anywhere. Not like this. “You’re worried Enzo will come for me again,” I said, and maybe it was in my head, but I swore I saw her try to nod along with me. A smile crept along my lips, a genuine grin that made her frown.
Or, well, I assumed she was trying to frown. Right now, she looked like she was conscious, but barely.
“You don’t have to worry about that, Kayla,” I told her, still smiling down at her. “He’s already found me.”
Her eyes widened, but then they rolled back into her head and her eyelids fell. She was out, just like that.
Getting to my feet, I went to the front door, sticking my head outside long enough to find the small doorbell camera. I’d changed batteries in it before, so I knew how to open it and yank the battery out. Unlike all those times, though, I wouldn’t be putting a replacement back in.
I tossed the battery on the floor inside the house, pulling out my phone and dialing Enzo shortly after. He picked up on the first ring, waiting for my call. “She’s out,” I said, and that was
his cue to get his ass over here and help me get her situated.
Of course, it occurred to me I could just run. I could run away with Enzo while Kayla was out, but in the end, she would think he took me yet again. She’d go to the police, say Enzo kidnapped me for a second time, and that was something I couldn’t let be. No, she wouldn’t go to the police. In fact, Enzo and I would not leave town until after she woke up, until after she and I had a little talk.
Maybe it was wrong of me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that our little talk was going to be fun.
Chapter Sixteen – Enzo
Kayla’s house was one house I never tried to sneak into. I didn’t know where she had eyes—or cameras—so it was better for me to steer clear of it. Tenley took care of the camera in front, which allowed me to pull into the driveway and stroll right up to the front door as if I belonged here.
I did, only in that I was here for Tenley.
Her aunt was passed out on the couch, her mouth hanging open limply. She was like a ragdoll as we tied her hands behind her back and her ankles to each other with some trusty duct tape. Kayla wouldn’t be getting up and running away anytime soon, and, as it was, it looked like we had some time to kill while we waited for her to wake up.
It wasn’t my idea, but I was going along with it. It was all Tenley, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. Instead of running away in the dark, she wanted to confront her aunt, to have words with her, and that was something I could respect, because we both knew if Kayla woke up and found Tenley miraculously gone, the first person she’d point her finger at was me.
No, we had to make sure she wouldn’t be sending anyone after us.
I could’ve always killed her, but Tenley didn’t want that. She wanted to play this her way, and I obliged her.
When Kayla was situated on the couch, Tenley and I went upstairs. I helped her pack. She would leave her phone here, along with anything else that could be tracked. But clothes and other sentimental objects? She could take anything else she wanted. I brought down a few bags into my car, tossing them in the trunk as the night hour passed midnight. If I had to guess, I’d say we still had a few more hours before Kayla woke up—and when she did, she would be a groggy mess, so it was probably best to give her some time to gather herself after waking up.