by Moira Byrne
"If you insist." There was a flash of annoyance in his eyes. He looked away from me.
"Alex . . ."
He looked at me once more and I saw a faint flicker of hope in his eyes. A lance of pain shot through my heart. I couldn't do this to him.
I couldn't let him carry the false hope that I'm someone he could be with, not when my world was so unstable. Not when simply being close to me got him hurt.
It wasn't safe for him to be with me, and I had to make that clear. I had to shut this down. Right here, right now. No matter how much it hurt. My stomach twisted and my cat clawed at me, objecting to what I was about to do.
"Aly, can you give us a moment?"
My sister looked at me warily, then nodded. She stepped outside, but I knew she was close enough she could hear every word we spoke. I only hoped she wouldn't interrupt. This was going to be hard enough as it was.
"Alex," I began again, flicking my eyes to the side before meeting his gaze again. "We need to set some things straight."
Alex's brow furrowed, but he said nothing. That flicker of hope had already died in his eyes. I couldn't stand seeing him look so serious and sad. This wasn't the life Alex was supposed to lead.
Being with me got him injured, and now I was hurting him emotionally, too. I couldn't understand why he would ever want someone so dangerous in his life. I would show him, right now, just how wrong he was. I had to.
"Look, Alex," I said, "I like you. You're a great friend. I couldn't have rescued my sister without you. What happened last night was—" I paused as my cat fought against me.
I pushed all my emotions down and buried my feelings deep. I had to make sure there was no room for confusion.
"Was . . .?" he asked, his tone even, like he already knew what I was going to say.
"Was a one-time thing. A mistake, if you will." I forced my voice to be calm, almost clinical. "I let my hormones run away with me. It was good, I'll give you that, but I won't be repeating the experience. I don't think we should see each other anymore."
Although I was sure he knew it was coming, his head jerked as if I had slapped him and his face closed down. He looked at me as if I was a stranger. The glow in his amber eyes dimmed as he nodded slowly.
"I see. I guess that's the way it has to be."
He smiled a fake smile, and I wanted to wipe it off his face. My heart tore knowing I had put it there, even though I had to. It was somehow worse than seeing him be so painfully serious.
Why didn't this feel better? This was what I wanted. It was the right thing to do. Alex could be happy now.
"It does," I said, even though it hurt. "You've been a great help and I really appreciate it, but there can't be anything more between us."
Hurt flashed in his eyes but he only smiled wider. "Of course."
"Give me your keys."
"Why? Planning on leaving me here?"
He tried to make it sound like a joke, but I heard the pain in that question. It ripped through me and I struggled not to give in.
"I want your keys because I'm driving us to Fayoak. You can't because that balm is going to knock you out."
"Yeah, fine." He looked away from me again as he dug into his pocket. "Here."
Everything about him said that he didn't want to be anywhere near me right now. He even held his keys by the tips of his fingers, as if afraid we'd accidentally touch.
My throat tightened as I took the keys from him, but this was what I had needed to achieve. I inclined my head as he turned and stiffly moved out of the bathroom. Aly came back inside afterward, and her expression brimmed with disappointment. I didn't need that look from my baby sister.
I tilted my head, indicating she should go after him. I wanted to make sure he was alright and I couldn't do it myself. She frowned at me, then pivoted and disappeared outside.
I quickly treated my own cuts and scrapes. My thick fur protected me from most of the damage, but I still had some punctures and scratches, though nothing as bad as my arm.
I planned to drive, so I didn't put any of the miracle salve on myself. I could do that when I got back home. The sting of pain was a deserved punishment for the hurt I put in Alex's eyes.
Aly stepped back in as I finished applying my last bandage.
"He's all settled," she said.
"Great. Your turn. Where are you hurt?"
Unlike my last patient, she submitted easily to my treatment. My stomach was tense as she stood silently before me while I tended to her.
I knew my sister, and I could tell from the way she was staring a hole into my head that she had something to say. I finally couldn't stand it any longer as I put the bandage over the balm on her last wound.
"Spill," I said with a loud sigh.
Aly took a deep breath and I kept my expression calm. From her look earlier, I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say. Then she blinked and shook her head.
"No, on second thought," she said with a click of her tongue, "I don't think I can say anything to change your mind. You're going to do what you're going to do. I just hope you can live with yourself after."
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. My stomach was in knots. I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life, but I had no other choice. When I didn't say anything, Aly pulled me in for a rough hug, which was her way of saying, 'I'm angry, but I still love you.'
I got a lot of these hugs in her early teens. My arms clutched her tight for a moment, then I pushed her back. I had to stay strong. I gave her a shaky smile and she touched my cheek and flashed me a crooked smile.
"Need any help? I mean, you know I hate cleaning, but . . ."
I shook my head, unable to speak yet.
She dipped her head and turned away. "Alright, I'm heading back to the truck."
I watched as she left the bathroom, then sighed and carefully pulled back the bandage on my arm. My eyes grew wide, shocked that it hadn't torn open. I couldn't believe how well it was healing.
I changed the bandage and cleaned up our mess. I put all our trash in a plastic bag in my duffle. If the pack followed us, I wasn't going to leave a clear sign of where we stopped.
I hurried back to the truck. I opened the driver's side door and glanced over at Alex. He was slumped in the seat, his eyes closed and breathing even. My sister and Isabelle were in the same condition.
I hadn't expected them to already be asleep. They must have been exhausted from the fight and the balm knocked them out. Well, Alex and Aly, that is.
I climbed in and closed the door. I started up the truck, but couldn't resist looking over at Alex again. His bandage glared in at me in the darkness, his ripped and bloodied shirt was in a trash bag in my duffle. The silent accusation sat heavily on me—I had failed to protect him.
And now I had basically declared war on my old pack. It was only a matter of time before they hunted us down in retribution. Not only did I take my sister and Isabelle from them, but we injured several pack members.
This was my fight and I couldn't bring Alex into it. I couldn't risk him getting hurt again. Pain lanced through my chest, but I pushed it back. I was the reason he got hurt. I couldn't live with myself if I got him killed. It would be better if I walked away now and didn't see him anymore.
The thought of never seeing him again hurt me in ways I couldn't have ever imagined. I dared to look at his sleeping face once more, despite knowing it was going make my heart ache.
I'm sorry, Alex, but this is the way it has to be.
It was the only way I could protect him.
12
Alexander
We had returned to Fayoak only yesterday morning and, after such a life-altering experience, going back to my normal routine felt strange. Even if I hadn't helped Sophie rescue her sister and Isabelle from some crazy, militant pack in the dead of night, that moment we shared in that motel room would have been enough to toss my world askew.
Worse yet, it seemed as if we were pretending it never happened. She had pra
ctically shoved me away with her words. I didn't get it.
I had shown her I could protect her and helped her rescue her sister. It was clear what we could do together. And the night we shared at the motel on top of it all? I really thought we had something.
Well, she made it clear to me how stupid I was to have that thought. Last night, I had called to check up on her. It went directly to voicemail. Instead of leaving her a message, I sent her a text.
Early this morning, I got a brief reply telling me she was fine. Nothing more. Cold and distant. My jaw clenched. That was probably how we should've left things from the start.
That didn't change the fact that I had to finish up the landscaping on her property today. I was already a little behind. I meant to finish up yesterday, but we pulled into town late that morning. I had gone home and passed out after washing the skunk cabbage stench off my body. By the time I woke up it was evening.
As I drove to her house, I thought about what I was going to do if she was there. I really wasn't sure how I would react. I didn't know if I would be able to fake a smile and push through. When I pulled into her driveway, I couldn't decide if I was disappointed or relieved to see that her car was gone.
My eyes flickered to her front door and I realized that I was actually disappointed she wasn't there. I didn't get why. Even if she had been there, I knew better than to knock, no matter how badly I might have wanted to. Sophie would've likely told me to get lost in a politely cold manner.
I was itching for an explanation, but she had already tried to push me away before. There was resistance there. Maybe it was for the best if we did part ways.
Maybe all this time I had been imagining what was between us? My instincts disagreed, but she'd certainly made her position clear.
A one-time thing. A mistake, if you will.
I tore my eyes away from her house, got out of my truck, and walked over to the planter beds with a determined stride. I was nearly done here. Another hour or so and I could be gone. I wouldn't ever have to lay eyes on her again. I wasn't sure why that thought didn't make me feel better like I thought it would.
I made quick work of planting the flats of peonies in the beds alongside her house, carefully avoiding even glancing at her front door. That was where we shared our first kiss. As it was, I could barely look at the purple and red blooms that had once held such beauty for me.
In my mind, they were linked to her, and it hurt too damn much. When I finished, I gave them a cursory glance, simply to make sure they were in decent shape, then packed up my things. I couldn't stay here a moment longer.
It was a short drive back to the family orchard, and I was still tense by the time I made it home and stalked inside. I didn't feel right anymore. I wasn't me.
No. I was me, but I had reverted to a younger version. I was the me from years ago who once let a woman slowly crush me from the inside.
I thought back to the time that I let myself get strung along with sweet promises and lies. I was thankful for that day I overheard Gwendolyn talk to her friends about me. I didn't think I would have ever seen the truth otherwise.
I'd planned to surprise her with a ring, but I'd been the one surprised. I could still hear her laugh as she talked with them. Her words didn't hurt as much now as they had then, but I still remembered each one.
"Alexander? Oh, trust me, he's wrapped around my little finger. So eager to please. I expect a proposal any day now." Her words had cut right through me.
During the year that we'd been dating, I'd never heard her speak in that tone. She'd sounded so full of herself.
She was right though. I was the simpering fool standing there with grand plans to ask her to marry me. Be my wife. My love.
Her friend had asked if she loved me, and I'd listened eagerly for the words I knew would come. Everyone has their faults, right? I told myself. I know she loves me . . .
"Love? Sure, let's call it that. I mean, what woman wouldn't love being a part of the Greenhaven family?" She laughed and her friends joined in. "Ugh, seriously though, he's just such a goody-goody. His inheritance is huge, but you wouldn't know it. I'll definitely change that though, girls. Mark my words."
Money. Status. Power. That had been all she wanted. I could've been anyone. It wasn't me who mattered to her, it was what I had. She wanted to be a Greenhaven, part of the fae elite. Whatever that meant.
As I stood there and listened to her laugh, the ring box felt like a brick in my pocket. I told myself there and then that I would never put myself in a position to get hurt like that again.
I decided I was going to live my life with no attachments. I had been successful for years. And yet, here I was, older and wiser, but I managed to find someone I couldn't resist. Sophie.
Looking back, I couldn't quite pinpoint where this all went wrong. When had I started lying to myself about how I felt? Was it from the very moment I first saw those beautiful eyes?
I roughly pushed the thoughts aside and headed to my bedroom with the idea of taking a shower. As I stepped through the door, I saw the peony on my windowsill out of the corner of my eye. I walked over to it.
The sprout of a plant had grown a fair amount on its own, but it still struggled to bloom. I thought about giving it a little burst of magic, but I knew I needed to let it take its time. It was still tempting to try.
I reached up, not sure what I was going to do, when a sudden ring from my cell phone pulled my eyes away from the plant. I dug my phone from the pocket of my dirty work pants and looked at the screen—Maddox was calling.
"Hey, boss. How can I help you?"
"Hey. Did you finish up at Sophie's place today?" Maddox asked with confusion in his voice.
I ran a hand over my face and cursed under my breath. I had completely forgotten to call him when I finished. I was too stuck in my own head to remember.
"Yeah, sorry, I meant to call and let you know."
"It happens. As long as you're done, we're good. I'll let Galinsky know."
"Thanks," I replied quietly.
"It's fine." Maddox paused before continuing in a less business-like and more friendly tone, "Anyway, I'm glad you're done because I just got an interesting call. You up for a fast job?"
I paused for a moment before answering. I wasn't sure if it was the best idea, but the distraction of another job would be convenient right about now.
"Yeah, sure. What's up? Another big project?"
"Well, no, not really. She needs some repairs in her garden, a fixed trellis, that type of thing. She apparently needs some roses planted immediately though. And she asked for you by name."
"What?"
"Yeah, I don't know. It was strange. I would have expected you to be on Heather's shit list, pun intended."
I let out a small chuckle. "Heather? Who's Heather?"
"Remember the volunteer job at the school?"
"Ahh, that Heather . . ."
"The very one."
The last time I had seen Heather and her two lackeys was when I volunteered to do some gardening work at a school where she worked. It ended with me introducing her to some especially aromatic compost by giving her two big, stinky handfuls. She screamed and ran off with her two little witch friends in tow.
"Did she seriously ask for me?"
"Yeah, it seems she simply has to have some roses planted and blooming today. She said she knew you were probably the only person in town who could make it happen."
"But why today? What's the rush?"
"Yeah, she told me she had to have the roses planted today for her mother's birthday party or something. I quoted her a rush price and she took it. You game?"
I let out a long breath as I looked up at the ceiling, then shrugged. "Why not?"
Within seconds of Heather swinging open her door, I knew exactly why I shouldn't have agreed. She greeted me with that painfully white smile of hers. She wore a too tight shirt with a deep V-neck and the type of bra that pushed her boobs up to her neck.
Her hair
was just as overdone, with every strand locked in place so tightly it almost looked like a blond helmet on her head. A look that elicited some less than savory memories. I knew there was a reason I didn't like Heather from the start, attitude aside. If she was fae, she would be a carbon copy of Gwendolyn.
"Alexander," she said, dragging out my name with a squeal. "Come in, come in."
Why did I think this was a good idea?
She stood so close to the door that I couldn't avoid brushing up against her as I entered. I tried my best to not look too revolted. Wouldn't want to piss off a paying customer.
"Follow me," she said.
As we passed from room to room I noticed her house was, thus far, every bit as fake as she was. Everything was pristine and decorated to hell and back. She had a thing for glitter, that much was clear.
But there was no personality in her home. It didn't look lived in. Pretty, sparkly, but lifeless. Nothing like what anyone would imagine a witch would live in, that was for sure.
She led me into her living room, her heels clacking against the white tiled floor as she swayed her hips like a pendulum. I was sure she was trying to be sexy, but I found her ridiculously revolting.
Who even wears heels inside their home?
When Heather gestured for me to take a seat on one of her plush white couches with fluffy pink pillows, I gestured for her to sit first, then hesitantly sat on the other couch.
"I have to be honest," I began, "I'm surprised you want to work with me."
"Oh, that silly misunderstanding?" She let out a high-pitched giggle and waved a hand in the air. "Please, I'm so over it."
"Great, yeah, so what were you looking to get done? Maddox didn't have many details for me. Something about roses?"
"Oh, no, that's it. I just want you to plant a few nice, big rose bushes for me in the backyard."
I furrowed my brow. "Is that all? Just a few rose bushes?"
She nodded and smiled even wider. It was probably supposed to be alluring, but I found it creepy.
She ran her eyes over me as if she was undressing me, and I could barely keep from walking out. But she was being true to form, as far as I knew.