by Daniel Caet
“We both know that it is probably not like that. You taught me well, mother. The poultices and the infusions have not worked, I still cannot dilate enough and my little one dies. You have no alternative but to open my belly and take it out yourself.”
“Never, that would kill you! There is no way I am going to sacrifice your life for this creature's.”
“Listen to me, I beg you!” she said as she gripped my hand even harder. “This creature must be born, I feel it in my soul, it must come to the world, it is important. No baby is to blame for the sins of their parents and something inside me tells me that the light of this creature must illuminate this world.” I turned my face so that she could not see my tears. Her conviction was so great that she was willing to sacrifice her own life for the being that was inside her. “Mother, you must promise me something. You must promise me that you will take care of my child and all those who will come while you are alive, in the same way you have taken care of me, whatever happens and at the cost of what is necessary.”
That phrase, that reference to all those who would come, made me see clearly that Niel spoke from the vision. Her prayer sowed the seed and my love for her did the rest, and although at that time I did not know what it was that I was committing to, my heart gave the only possible answer.
“I promise.”
“Thank you, mother.”
Her face relaxed and I knew at that moment that she no longer had any fear, neither about the future nor about death. She reached out to take the knife that rested on the floor next to the bed and put it in my hand without saying a word, and closed her eyes preparing for what was to come. I had to make a huge effort to control the trembling of my hands. My little one did not utter a single scream while tearing her belly and opening the way for the baby. When I finally had it in my arms, and cut the umbilical cord I put it on her chest and Niel's eyes opened briefly to look at the beautiful creature that lay on her.
“It's a girl, Niel, a beautiful and healthy girl. Her eyes filled with tears that I knew well were of joy and her hands caressed the little girl with all the love that a mother can give.”
“Suriel, her name is Suriel.”
And that was how that little girl received a name that was both a tribute to her mother and to my own. Niel closed her eyes with a smile of enormous satisfaction while hugging her little one and her eyes never opened again.
Funerals for Niel were extremely fast at my request as I did not see myself with the strength to prolong the sight of her inert body, lacking the life and energy that had filled each of her days. Silence gripped every corner of our lives, every minute that was filled with her laughter and the sweetness of her voice before was now empty or occasionally filled with the cries of the little Suriel who, oblivious to everything that happened, behaved like any other baby. Even little Saersh stayed away from me for a few days as if he wanted to respect my space, my need for solitude, a need that he knew well given his circumstances.
During the first days I would wake up in the middle of the night crying and I would walk around the quiet house and the garden where even the plants and the insects seemed to be silenced, missing her presence. But suddenly, something changed. It may seem crazy, but I think somehow Niel sent me from wherever she was the serenity I needed to be able to move forward, to continue on with Suriel, Saersh and myself. That serenity was accompanied by a hard traveling companion, the reality that I was under the threat of Narmesh, that the being that I had raised as my own son would not stop until I was destroyed and that, not only my life, but something much more important was at stake, Suriel's life.
If that had not been enough reason to make me understand that we should leave the village, my fame as a midwife and healer was destroyed in moments. Soon the news of what happened in my house spread throughout the region and patients stopped coming to my door, and with them the money and other goods with which they paid me. A midwife who had not been able to save the life of her own daughter in childbirth did not generate any trust, and that coupled with the disappearance of Narmesh and what happened to my good Jeshar made the rumours of a terrible curse that weighed on my family spread like fire in a dry field. Finally, I had no choice but to pack all the belongings we could carry in Jeshar's old cart, sell everything else, and leave. The problem was where to go. I knew that we could not go back to Sumer, and because of everything that happened the kingdom of the Canaanites, there was also too big a risk. Finally, I decided to set out on my way to the south, towards a new kingdom that was beginning to make its way into history, towards a kingdom built around a great river as once had been my own land of Sumer. Egypt.
We spent the next few years sheltering under false names in villages and cities in northern Egypt. My fear that Narmesh might find us made us move frequently, too often, but to think that it kept us safe made everything more bearable. My little Saersh and Suriel ceased to be so, in the case of Saersh to become a handsome, tall young man, with a tremendous resemblance to his mother and all the strength and security of his father. Suriel, on the other hand, had become a girl with a dazzling beauty like her own parents, jovial, cheerful and of a docile and kind nature. Seeing how she grew to look more and more like Niel, and not Narmesh, was something I thanked the mother for every morning. But if I thought we were safe, I was wrong, even the most intense light carries shadows behind it.
Our pilgrimage had taken us to a village called Nakhran, near the city of Abydos and there we had lived in peace for more than a year. One morning, returning from the market with Saersh and Suriel, I went straight to the kitchen as usual to prepare food for everyone while Saersh returned our old mule to the stable and Suriel played in the garden. From the kitchen I could hear Suriel playing cheerfully as was her habit until I suddenly stopped hearing her. The silence made me feel uncomfortable and I went outside to see what she was doing. At first, I could not find her, and she did not answer my calls, but I finally found her sitting by the low wall of the entrance, in the shade of a willow, playing with something in her hands. I approached calmly and found her immersed in the game with a big smile; between her hands she had a small clay doll that delighted the girl.
“Semekté,” I said, calling her by the Egyptian name we were using at that moment. “Are you okay? What is that you have in your hands, honey?”
“Mother,” she said cheerfully, showing me the doll, “it's a doll, look how pretty she is!”
Her excitement was evident, but I did not remember seeing that doll before.
“It's beautiful, very pretty, but where did you get it from, honey?”
“The man gave it to me.”
Her response triggered all my alerts. For our safety we kept a circle of acquaintances as small as possible, and we never brought guests to the house, so I did not know to what man she could refer.
“What man, Semekté? Has anyone talked to you in the market?”
“No mother, here, a little while ago. The man came to our house and gave me the doll, he told me it was a gift. He told me that the doll has a very beautiful name.”
“A beautiful name? What do you mean darling, what name?”
“Niel, he told me that her name was Niel. Isn’t it beautiful, mother?”
My legs stopped holding me and I almost knelt next to her. Instinctively I took her in my arms while looking around and the doll fell to the ground breaking into a thousand pieces. Suriel started screaming at her broken doll and I ran inside the house as fast as I could. Saersh saw me completely upset and asked me what was going on, but I only told him to prepare the cart because we were leaving that same night. Without questioning one of my words the boy left to obey my orders. Suriel was still crying, more upset by my tremors and my attitude than by her doll. I could not believe we were in that situation. I had no doubt that the man Suriel referred to was Narmesh or someone sent by him to send me a loud and clear message, he knew where we were. No one else could have called the doll by the name of Niel, much less in Egypt where that name was not usual
. Nerves began to give way to anger for having failed my family again. I had taken all the precautions, the changes of name, village, had used all the spells I knew to hide our steps, but still, Narmesh had found us. Suriel's cries did not let me concentrate, I finally lost control and yelled at her to shut up. The girl looked at me with her face disheveled and ran up to our room. Immediately I regretted what I had just done, but I had no choice, and decided to leave her alone for a moment to calm down. Meanwhile, my head could not stop turning around the feeling of helplessness that was eating me inside. I, a priestess of the mother trained in the mystical arts, and yet all that was insufficient to save my family from a monster created by myself. My power was not enough, and a part of me knew that it never would be, although now we escaped from the clutches of Narmesh, how long would it take him to find us again? How long would it take for his shadow to darken our lives again? If I wanted to protect my family I needed more power, I needed a power that could only be achieved in one way, one that had a very high price.
I looked for Saersh in the back of the house where he was preparing the cart as I had asked. I told him to go up to our room and stay with Suriel until I returned. I gave him clear instructions to remain silent, and not leave the house no matter what happened. Leaving them alone after the doll incident made me feel extremely uncomfortable, but I knew that they could not accompany me to where I was going. I picked up one of my lightweight hooded cloaks to hide my identity as much as possible and left the house at nightfall.
My steps took me to the outskirts of the village, to a small group of shanties near the river. I knew perfectly who I was looking for, what I did not know was how to find her once I got there or if that woman would help me get what I needed. Only three types of people could be found in that area of the village, thieves, prostitutes or witches –or at least, women who pretended to be witches–, and more likely, women who were all three. Since my arrival in the village I knew that many of the patients who came to me in search of my help as a healer had previously visited the woman I was looking for. Her name was Nekahsutmé, although everyone knew her as the black Neka, due to the tone of her skin that shouted loudly that her origin was not Egyptian but Nubian. When I arrived at the small group of shacks, I understood that finding her was not going to be easy for me, I had no idea what her home was, and knocking on them all one by one was ruled out. But if my mind thought for a second of abandoning my plans, life was not going to give me that opportunity. Suddenly, the curtain at the entrance of one of the slums opened, illuminating the night with the light of the fire that burned inside. A small woman, covered in rags, held the curtain.
“Come in,” she said, barely looking at me and turning to go back in the shack. I watched as the curtain closed the entrance again leaving me submerged in the darkness of the night without daring to follow her. The curtain opened again, and the woman spoke again with an authoritative tone. “We both know you're here for me, so come in or leave, but I do not have time for your nonsense, priestess.”
Her words left me cold. How was it possible that this woman knew that I was a priestess of the mother? I had hidden that part of my life from the whole world since we left Uruk, and there was no human way that no one would have found out. Anyway, I had no choice but to follow her into the shack, that woman could be the key to saving my family once and for all, probably my last chance. I pulled back the curtain and entered the hut. The interior was bigger than it looked from the outside. On the far wall there was a small clay oven that was being heated by a small fire in its lower part. On the opposite wall, a mat on the floor served as a bunk while a considerable collection of clay containers stacked on a small shelf completed the only furniture.
“Yes, I know who you are. Yes, I know what you are looking for. And no, I will not tell you how I found out. Now, sit down,” she said without waiting for an answer from me and without deigning to raise her face to look at me. I understood that this woman was just playing a game with me, and that I should bend to her rules if I wanted to get something out of her.
“The question is, can you get it?”
“No, the question is, what will I get out of this?” she snapped, raising her face to show two black eyes like the night and a tanned face that looked like a mask.
“Tell me your price, but I warn you that I am not a rich woman, so if you expect to do a big business of this …”
“It is not money what I want, that I can get it easily” she interrupted me. “What I want in exchange for my help is, let's say, more spiritual.” The woman looked at me fixedly but seeing my incomprehension continued. “We both know what will happen if you succeed. You will become eternal, time will cease to exist for you and you will become immortal, but that will also increase your power in an incredible way, you will be capable of things you never thought were possible, you will become the closest thing to a goddess on this earth. My price is that you use that power on me.”
“Do you intend to be immortal, too? You know that no matter how much my power increases, I cannot grant it without sacrificing my own immortality. I cannot do this.”
“That's not what I want, stupid!” she answered. “Why would I want to prolong this life of misery? What I want is to be able to recover the life I had. I have not always been this pounder of a woman that you see now, you know? There was a time when my beauty and my youth opened the doors of the great palaces of Egypt. The men fell at my feet and went out of their way to satisfy all my desires knowing that no one like me could satisfy theirs. For years, my life was surrounded by riches, the adoration of men and the fear of their women. The pharaoh himself surrendered to my charms and gave me a place among his concubines. I was the brightest star in that sky until time made my brightness go out and a more intense light took my place. And so, I was thrown into the cot of a minor landowner from one of the poorest nomes in the country to be a devoted wife. That's how the men paid me for the years of happiness I had given them. It was not long before my husband died, and his children threw me into the street again, and the star became old Neka. So that is my price, if I give you what you need you will make me young and beautiful so that I can recover the life that I deserve and that should never have been taken from me.”
Despite that woman's story, the way she had lost what she considered hers, caused a certain degree of empathy, another part of me told me that I should not trust her, but, unfortunately, my situation was too hopeless, and I accepted her terms. The woman changed her attitude immediately and went from being cold and unpleasant to laughing and humming like a little girl.
“Well, well, get to work then. Meet me tomorrow night at the abandoned temple of Hathor by the river.”
“Tomorrow? I need it tonight,” I said anxiously.
“I'm afraid that is impossible. What you're looking for is not in the market stalls, if that were the case, you would not be here. I need a day to make the necessary arrangements without attracting attention.”
I understood that I had no other choice but to follow her rules, and I accepted with resignation that I should wait one more day.
“Do you guarantee that you can get the amount I need?”
“Do not worry, priestess, you'll have as much demon blood as you need.”
In the darkness of the night I returned to my house looking behind me at every step with fear of seeing Narmesh appear at any moment. When I finally arrived, the sun began to rise and warm the houses again, and I found Saersh and Semekté asleep hugging each other on my cot. I did not want to wake them up and, anyway, I could not sleep even if I wanted, so I went down to the ground floor of the house and in the silence of dawn I started throwing as many protective spells back into the house as I knew, while inside I begged to the mother to forgive me for what I was forced to do.
At nightfall, once again, I left Saersh and Semekté in the house although this time I asked them to hide in the small cellar that we had under the main room, hoping that this would make them safer. As soon as the light went out, I heade
d for the temple of Hathor as old Neka had indicated. The temple was in a curve that the river formed in the outskirts of the town, hidden among the vegetation that had grown around devouring it due to the lack of cult. The temple had been very famous in its time, but with the construction of other larger temples in nearby cities, it had fallen into disuse and people had stopped visiting it, allowing nature to take it for themselves. Hathor, the goddess to whom it was consecrated was, along with her sister Isis, the Egyptian form of mother Ishtar to whom I had been consecrated in Akkad and that made me, in some way, feel that the mother was bidding me what I was about to do. More than ever at that time I wished with all my strength that the end justified the means.
I arrived at the temple as I could, bypassing the vegetation that obstructed the entrance, but I found the temple empty. I waited in the cold of the night for what seemed like hours to me, until suddenly I saw old Neka come carrying a bundle in her arms.
“I thought you were never going to get here! Where were you?” I asked with obvious anxiety.
“I told you I needed time to make the necessary arrangements. Calm down, he's here.”
“He’s here? Who?”
“Show yourself!” the woman whispered and a shadow materialised in one of the corners of the temple.
The creature that appeared before me was almost two men tall, with black skin like the night, with red and white drawings on it and its eyes were two basins injected with blood. Two large horns came out of his skull, when he opened his mouth I could see that his teeth were pointed like those of vermin. My mind immediately identified the image, I had seen it in the scrolls we had to study in the temple, what was before me was a Kruh’Tah demon, a race of scavengers, which fed on the corpses of the victims of other demons and the bodies that could steal in the necropolis. The woman approached the creature with the bundle in her arms and spoke to it in a guttural tongue. I quickly invoked one of the spells learned in the temple that allowed me to understand their conversation.