by Daniel Caet
“Leave her, Helel! She needs to be alone,” she said with evident weariness and sadness. “Enter.” When I entered the room, I was surprised that there were several trunks scattered on the floor, all of them full of papyrus and tablets. “Sorry for the mess, but I'm trying to send all my books to a safe place and it's not easy considering how many of them I have,” she said very seriously. “Also, I cannot trust them to anyone, they are too valuable. If any of them were lost ...”
“Can you stop talking about your damn books and explain what has happened and why you have been gone so many weeks?” I interrupted him raising my tone of voice.
My words had an immediate reaction. Sadith turned and her body tensed, increasing her stature. Suddenly it was as if she were a goddess raised in the heavens looking at one of the poor mortals. Her voice echoed throughout the room.
“How dare you question me? If I have been away from what matters most to me in this world, it is because I am doing everything possible to keep this family alive. All of it. Exactly the same as I have been doing the last thousand years, mending your mistakes. So, don’t you dare to question again what I do or why or I promise that the years that my sister put you in a cave will be nothing compared to what I will do to you.” Her voice was like thunder and came accompanied by violent jolts that made the walls of the palace tremble. I knew that Sadith's power went far beyond what I had seen so far, but I could not leave it that way, neither for Sadith nor for myself.
“You're her mother!” I said facing her.
“Precisely, and as I am her mother, I will decide what is most convenient for Ankh's safety. And the best thing was for me to walk away so I could do what I had to do.”
“Even at the expense of your daughter's love?”
Her eyes stared at me and for a second, I thought she was going to cry but instead her face turned hard as granite.
“Even at the cost of her love, yes, because that is unconditional love. Also, I think she's been entertained enough not to miss me.” Her words were thrown like a dart and hit the exact spot where she wanted to go, my heart.
“Do not expect me either to justify my actions, Sadith. I do not even expect you to understand, it's something private between Ankh and me.”
“I do not intend to question you, you are both adults and free to do what you see fit, especially in Egypt where almost all pharaohs end up married to their daughters” she said and her face showed a contained rage about to overflow-, “but it seems extremely ironic that you dare to accuse me of taking decisions without thinking about the consequences.”
She left the sentence unfinished and a chill ran down my back. What consequences was Sadith referring to? Had her vision revealed something that she was hiding from me? Why did I have the feeling that she was not being completely honest with me?
“Whatever it is,” she said, changing the subject radically and turning her back on me, “it is not to talk about this for what I have called you. Najee, the bird seller, has sent me a message through Ahmet. They are ready to take Iohebed's family out of Thebes. It is imperative that we take them out of the city before Heb Nefer on Inet, during the festival there will be too many soldiers in the city to be able to get them out safely. I have organised a caravan that will stop in a village on the outskirts of the city of Gebtu, a couple of days north of Thebes.”
“Why do you tell me?” I asked, astonished that she shared with me so much about her plans.
“I tell you because it is essential that you and I accompany them until they are safe in the caravan that will take them to the mountains of the country of Madian where Iohebed has distant relatives who will welcome them.”
“Why should I go?” I said once more feeling that she was not telling me anything at all.
“I need you to trust me, Helel, although right now I cannot tell you why.”
That answer was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and without being able to avoid it I raised my voice.
“That’s enough, Sadith, I'm not your puppet! I'm tired of you ordering me and handling me as if I were truly at your service. Have you forgotten who you're talking to, woman?”
“Have you?” she replied with the same anger and her eyes became black again as night. I could feel her power vibrating around me and, in response, mine rose within me in the same way. Everything around us trembled as if an earthquake was shaking the palace only that this time the shaking was so strong that some walls could not stand it and began to collapse. In the middle of the power rush that ran through us both, I could hear screams coming from other parts of the palace, screams of panic, people running terrified. If we continued with that cockfight, it would be the palace and its inhabitants who would pay for it. At that moment I did the only thing I could do, concentrating with all my strength I threw a single image into Sadith's head hoping that in her state of absolute power she could understand what I wanted to tell her. Ankh. It took a moment to take effect, and it almost made me wonder if I had succeeded, but Sadith suddenly calmed her anger and controlled again the energy that had spread around her and so did I. It was as if we had suddenly become deaf, the vibration that our powers generated around us had disappeared, and it was as if it had taken all sound with it. Little by little, the sounds of the palace replenished our minds, people who were still screaming scared, crying out the names of their gods trying to understand what had happened.
“Does all this really make sense, Sadith?” I said tired of fighting with her.
“No, it does not,” she said. “Especially because I have already seen that you will go with me to Gebtu even if you do not know it yourself, so trying to avoid it is completely useless.”
I understood that it was true. Sadith would always have two advantages in front of me; one was her vision that, although it was not something exact, allowed her to guess many of my intentions, the other was to know that I would do anything to protect Ankh. Knowing that this battle was lost and that once again I would end up doing what Sadith wanted, a new sadness filled my heart. A sadness that reminded me what I had been, the height of my past life and how little I was in this, and although at that moment I could not realise, the darkness of my heart became a little bigger.
Two days later we were finally informed that Iohebed and her family had left Thebes on their way to Gebtu. They made the journey by land disguised as a family of itinerant merchants so that they could avoid the main roads and attract as little attention as possible. Sadith told me that we would leave the following night, in our case we would take the boat trip on the Nile so that we would not attract unwanted attention on Iohebed's caravan either. Gebtu was about three days away from Thebes but, if the trip was made by the river, the distance could be traveled in little more than one night so that we could still get to Gebtu at the same time as them. Sadith still did not share with me the reason why I should accompany her on that trip and if that already made me uncomfortable, I was more uncomfortable with the idea of Ankh not coming with us. Even though Sadith had asked her to, Ankh was still very angry with her mother and decided that she could not bear to be locked in a boat with her for hours, so the only option was to stay in the palace. After what happened during my last departure from the palace, I refused to leave her alone, but Ankh was not willing to give in and finally we agreed that during the couple of days we expected to be away, she would not leave her rooms and that she would allow Sadith to raise her guardians to ensure her welfare. The night before our departure, we spent the night embraced, each one in the arms of the other and with no desire to separate. Our complicity had become enormous and somehow each one completed the other so that separating for periods of more than a few hours made us feel incomplete and empty.
We left at sunset. No one was surprised that the lady Tyri went on a trip again because everyone knew that she still practiced as an occasional healer and midwife. We went on foot to the city docks on the river. The pier was beginning to empty because the fishermen had already returned to spend the night with their famil
ies and, except for a couple of boats with sailors mending nets for the next day, there was practically no one. Sadith took me to the end of the pier where a boat of papyrus reeds was waiting for us. If I had thought that we would make the trip in a great royal boat with all the comforts I was completely wrong, that was just another fishing boat, with fishermen by sailors and with the smell of a fishermen's boat. The boat had a pair of long oars and a square sail that was unfolded waiting for our arrival to depart. Sadith must have noticed my strangeness and even my discomfort, and she looked at me amused.
“I thought it would be more discreet if we traveled as a simple person would do. These people are all friends, I have attended to a relative of almost all of them at some time, and in gratitude they help me when I need to travel. It's also faster, being a fisherman’s boat, we do not need complicated real permits, and we can leave immediately.” She said all that as she went to the end of the boat and sat on the ground without an iota of the distinguished air of lady of the court that she usually had. “What happens? Why do you look at me like that?”
“You are different, more relaxed.”
“I'm happy, Helel. It's not easy for me to live in the palace. Here, among ordinary people, with the air and smells of nature, I feel more like me,” she answered, and a smile filled her face.
“That's something I can understand,” I said, remembering the air on my face when I still had my wings. Immediately a shadow of sadness settled on my face and Sadith noticed it.
“You'd better sit and try to sleep,” she said, tucking herself in her cloak. “If everything goes well, we should get to Gebtu at dawn, and another old friend is waiting for us to take us to the meeting point on the outskirts of the city.”
I tried. I wrapped myself in my cloak as she had done to protect herself from the cold night air of the river, but I only managed to spin around. I looked at the sky and the spectacle of the stars shining in the darkness of a moonless night filled my eyes and thus, counting stars I spent the rest of the trip.
As Sadith had said, we arrived at Gebtu at dawn and the pier, much smaller than the one in Thebes, was equally empty if it were not for a boy of about ten or twelve who was waiting for us with a cart pulled by a couple of mules. Sadith said goodbye to the fishermen telling them that we would return at dusk and smiling at the boy as a greeting she got onto the cart. I barely had time to get behind her before the cart started to move. The boy led the mules down a side road that went away from the dock and the city and into the desert. It was a short journey until we came to a small, barely visible oasis. The place was full of camels that rested in the shade of the few palm trees that were scattered around the water along with a group of men who seemed to wake up at that very moment. From the group of men emerged a figure that I immediately recognised as the old Ahmet. The old man approached Sadith and indicated an old cabin on the other side of the oasis. Sadith jumped out of the cart as soon as it stopped and headed there followed by me. As I expected, I found Iohebed and all her family inside, dressed as if they were other members of the caravan. As soon as they saw us enter, Iohebed embraced Sadith.
“My lady, thanks to Yahve you are fine!”
“My good Iohebed, I'm so glad you're safe,” she said smiling. “I know it has not been easy, but we are almost finished and soon you will meet your family.”
“I will never be able to thank you enough for how much you have done for us.”
“There is nothing to be thankful for, Iohebed, we have only done what is right, and I only regret not being able to do the same for many more.”
“May Yahve bless you always, my lady! And you too, Helel, thank you!”
“It has been a pleasure to help you, Iohebed!” I replied.
“Iohebed, before you leave, there's one thing I'd like to ask you, and if you do not find yourself capable of answering me, I want you to know that I'll understand,” Sadith said suddenly. Iohebed stared at her eyes, but something on her face indicated that she already knew what she was going to say. “It's about Amram.”
The woman's eyes filled with tears and her body began to be too heavy for her legs, so she dropped onto a small stool that was next to the table that served as the only furniture in the cabin. Sadith came up to her and knelt down to take her hands and look at her face.
“I do not want to cause you any pain, Iohebed. If the memories are going to make you suffer let's leave it and this conversation will never have existed.”
Iohebed's children looked at her sadly and it was evident that they knew what Sadith was talking about. Iohebed inhaled deeply and, without letting go of Sadith's hands, spoke almost in a whisper.
“I always knew that this day would come. And my husband knew it too. In a way, I wanted it because only speaking of it can help us carry this burden that is getting too heavy.” The woman inhaled again to gather strength before continuing. “Amram was always the best husband and father in the world, and Yahve could never have sent me someone better, but like everyone else, he was human, and throughout his life there was only one episode that was embarrassing enough for him to keep it in secret. That’s why I know what you want to know without you telling me.” Sadith nodded and sat on the floor next to Iohebed letting her talk. “Amran was not born in slavery. His family had been imprisoned and enslaved when he was twelve years old. His father was assigned to work in the construction of the temples and died crushed by a large pillar that collapsed by accident. The fate of my husband could have been the same, but from a young age his family had instructed him so that he could read, write and count, and that helped him to be destined to serve in the house of a family recently arrived in Thebes from the city of Avaris. It was the home of a man who had ascended as Pharaoh's counsellor, and for several years Amram was as happy as he could be in the body of a slave. The moment came when the pharaoh died and the lord of the house where Amram served was chosen, to the surprise of all, new pharaoh, Rameses. Amran continued to serve the same family, but this time in the palace. At that time our families arranged our marriage and he got the pharaoh's permission for us to get married because of Rameses' appreciation for Amram. Life went on and we had two little ones, Aaron and Miriam.” The woman stopped for a second to take a breath and I immediately understood why Sadith had wanted me to accompany her, to hear exactly that story. “One day Amram told me that he had to leave for a couple of days to accompany one of the women of the family to the city of Nbwt because she wanted to make an offering to one of her goddesses asking to conceive a child. Amram departed for Nbwt, but what came back from there was no longer my husband but a half-destroyed shadow of what he had been, devoured by guilt and shame. The night of his return, after asking him several times what had happened, he finally confessed to me what he had suffered in that place. Amram told me how he had had to accompany his mistress to the temple one night to present her offering. Nobody else came with them. While his mistress asked for a son, a figure wrapped in a dark mantle appeared before her and introduced himself as the god Seth. Amram could not remember what the woman had said to that figure who claimed to be a god, but he remembered everything that had happened next. The dark figure walked to him, put his hand on his head and from that moment Amram did not own his body, it was as if he was a puppet in the hands of that being who dominated him and forced him to do his will. And his will was…” The woman stopped to breathe again and dry the tears that began to fall on her face, “that creature forced him to lie with his mistress on the floor of the temple while whispering that he should be proud because he would be the father of a king.”
The woman finished the story and could not help but collapse and cry. Miriam ran to her side to comfort her while Aaron looked serious at the floor and Moses clenched his fists in rage. The woman managed to calm down after a few moments and continued her story.
“Amram's confession did not make the load smaller. I, because of the love I felt for him, forgave him, although I did not really believe I had anything to forgive, and soon I became pregna
nt with my good Moses. But for Amram, life was never the same again. One day he came home completely destroyed. The woman he had been forced to lie with was the future Queen Tuya and had announced her pregnancy. Amran was convinced that this little one was his, and the guilt that burned inside multiplied a thousand times because of the pain of not being able to meet his son. The queen immediately ordered Amram to be assigned to the toughest jobs on the roads and temples, no doubt for fear that he might say something. Amram stopped eating, sleeping, ceased to be the same and that, coupled with the work to which he was subjected, undermined his health. When the fevers attacked the town, his body was too weak to face them; but above all, Amram had lost the will to live consumed by grief and finally died calling the lost son by his name, Rameses.
“Rameses, always Rameses, I'm tired of hearing that name!” Moses cried suddenly. His hands were clenched and the rage inside him tensed his body and ended up hitting the wall of the cabin with such force that his fist ended covered in blood. Looking at him in that state I could not help but see a certain similarity with myself.
“Moses, shut up!” His brother Aaron snapped.
“I'm not going to shut up, I cannot take it anymore. Our father spent half his life lamenting for the son he could not see, but without worrying about those of us who were with him!”
“That is not true, and you know it. Father adored us!”
“Us? No, brother, father adored you, his firstborn, and Miriam his little princess and even Rameses, the lost son but, me? I was the permanent reminder of his loss and his sin, and that is something he could never bear.”