by Daniel Caet
Marble
Silence was the only thing that followed Liliath's story. The woman said nothing for several minutes trying to respect the time that Becca might need to assimilate what she had told her, but given the continued lack of response she finally dared to ask using a tone as close and calm as possible.
“Will you not say anything?”
“I don't know very well what you want me to say,” Becca replied badly. “What did you really expect? Did you think that after that tearful story of redemption that you have told me my opinion about you was going to be different? Let me explain to you what I draw in conclusion from your story and from everyone else in this family,” she continued, leaning slightly forward in a clearly offensive attitude. “For more than twenty years I did not have a family. I never had anyone to be happy for my achievements, to hug me when I was sad or to tell me that everything would be fine when I was afraid and, believe me, I needed it many times. At night only the darkness hugged me and that hug is the coldest they can give you. Suddenly and without asking for it, you and all the other members of this dysfunctional family like no other, have insisted on entering my life, without permission, without invitation just because so you desired and I have had to accept it. You have all insisted on making me understand by force a story that supposedly is the origin of all my evils, a story that is only yours, not mine. And I'm tired! Tell me something, would you have approached me if Helel had not begun to send me his manuscripts, if Genevieve had not left her will arranged for me to inherit the family fortune? Would you have even tried to come to New York to see how I was? Let me answer myself. ¡No, you would have not, neither you nor any other member of this family in which you all have a hidden agenda! Each one of you tries to justify their part of the story. None of you accepts responsibility for what I had to go through. You blame each other or the same fate of the decisions you have made, but the only ones responsible for everything that is happening to me are each one of you who have only thought about yourselves.”
“Do you really believe that? If so, we have done really badly all this time. I can't speak for Helel, but when it comes to Sadith and me, our only agenda has always been your protection.”
“Enough lies! I have seen your voice tremble slightly as you tell me about the curse you threw on the sword. Only one child can find it. You know as well as Helel that this child is me. I have understood it as soon as you have described what happened. That is why everyone is doing everything in their powers to keep me away from him. If he finds me, he will be one step closer to finding the sword and then he will have a clear path to heaven. If Lucifer has been able to make your life miserable down here, I don't even want to think about what would become of you if he had access to the power of heaven again.”
“You are completely wrong!” said the woman, raising her voice. “If we want to get you away from him, it is because we do not want you to become a currency in his particular war with the archangels. I am your mother and I will not let Helel destroy your life anymore.”
“A mother who has never been by my side! How are you different from him? Why do you have the right to push yourself into my life and he doesn't? I don't believe you, Liliath, I don't think that someone who acknowledges having been a power-hungry monster changes overnight and only thinks of my benefit. I think that you, Sadith and everyone else are just telling me a part of the story and I'm tired of half-truths. I intend to find Helel, no matter the cost, I plan to make him tell me his truth and then I will decide whether to believe any of you or if I send you all to hell.”
Liliath was silent for a moment, amazed at Becca's determination and understanding that she was truly Helel's daughter, and finally accepted her defeat.
“Very well, if that is what you really want, I will not prevent you. If you want to find Helel I will do what is in my hand to help you, but on one condition.”
“Do you really think you're in a position to ask for anything?”
“It's up to you. My way or no way,” replied the woman with a face that left no doubt that this was her last word.
“Go ahead,” Becca replied halfway between frustration and anger.
“No matter if you believe me or not, my only priority is your safety. I will not allow you to approach Helel until I know you understand and control your power. You are not a Nephilim anymore. You are the daughter of the lord of the underworld and that makes you a creature of immense power that you still don't understand and don't know how to handle. Let us teach you to use it, to control it and when you have achieved it I will take you to your father if you still want to.”
Becca hesitated for a moment not quite sure if the woman's true intentions were what she said or if there was something else in the background, but finally she decided to accept.
“Three months. I will be here three months doing everything you ask me to learn how to use my power. After those three months you will help me find Helel whether you think I'm ready or not, or else I'll leave here to find him myself and you won't see me again.”
“Three months. Agree.” Liliath rose slowly and headed for the door. A second before reaching it she turned to look at Becca who was still by the fire. “Rest well today, your training starts tomorrow and, believe me, you'll need all your strength.” And then she closed the door leaving Becca in the most awkward silence.
The next morning Becca woke up just as exhausted, but knowing that she had no way of escaping the commitment she had reached with Liliath. As soon as she managed to crawl out of bed, the woman gave her some warm milk to temper her empty stomach and indicated that she would wait for her outside the hut. Becca was tempted to ask if there was any way to get a good coffee that could cheer her up, but she finally assumed that she would have to settle for milk and said nothing. After the frugal breakfast she washed her face with ice water and headed to meet Liliath. Upon leaving the hut she found that the woman was not alone. Sadith was next to her. Neither woman spoke to her, they just started walking and Becca assumed that she should follow them. They guided her in silence to the same esplanade in the high part of the mountain where she had seen her mother for the first time. The effort of the ascent and the cold combined made her heart have to accelerate and pump more blood throughout her body causing the feeling of sleepiness to dissipate. The temperature was even lower on that elevated platform due to the wind that beat them mercilessly. Becca saw that something had changed in that space since the first time she was there. In the center of the esplanade, large wooden logs had been arranged in some form of pile. Becca wondered what they were for, but said nothing, sure she would find out soon.
“Well, let's start. Go ahead, light on the pyre,” Liliath told her.
“What do you mean I light on the pyre?”
“Yes, light the fire on that pyre. Your power is linked to fire as an element, use it. Light on the pyre.”
“Wait a second. I don't understand any of that about the elements, I don't know what you're talking about. And you know that I don't know how to generate fire at will, it only happens when I lose control.”
“You are wrong, it only happens when you feel danger,” Sadith interrupted, "that has nothing to do with control. Your body reacts to situations in which you feel threatened, such as at school when that girl attacked you or in Montparnasse when the fury came for you. You have never lost control over your power, if you had, you would have been burned in the school incident yourself, but you were not, the flames did not touch your body.”
"I think we're going to have to start with the basics,” Liliath said with a small sigh of frustration. “I think my sister has already explained to you that what people call power in the supernatural sense does not exist. They are simply ways of using the energy around us, the energy present in everything and everyone on this earth.”
“Yes, I remember that.”
“Good. That ability to handle energy in you is tremendously accentuated, not only as Nephilim but because of your genetic load,” she said, surprising Becca f
or being able to use scientific terms for her explanation. “But in our family these capabilities are always linked to an element, a form of energy that we handle more easily than others. In your case and mine is the fire, for Sadith’s it is the earth.”
“Do you remember what you read about the time we spent in Egypt?” asked Sadith.
“Yes, more or less.”
“And do you remember if Helel spoke at some point that when I was angry with him the earth shook?” Becca nodded, clearly remembering the scene in Thebes' palace. “It is the same reaction you have with fire when you feel threatened.”
“But how does all this help me? Knowing that I have a mystical connection to fire does not make it easier to control it, at least not for me.”
“It will if you stop running from it. Embrace your power without fear, be one with the fire and that will open the door to immense power!”
“I don't run from it!”
“Yes, you do!” Liliath replied, “And denying it, won't help you. Wake up at once, leave your fears aside.”
“I can’t," Becca shouted, overcome by the pressure her mother was putting on her.
“You can't because it's not your power that you're afraid of, right?” Sadith interrupted without letting Liliath continue to be visibly frustrated with Becca and approached her to take her hand. “Tell us what it is, Becca. What terrifies you?”
It took Becca a moment to dare to speak, but she finally did it when she noticed that her eyes were filled with tears because she felt impotent.
“I don't want to be like you!” she snapped suddenly. Sadith looked at Liliath and the woman's face shifted from frustration to the most infinite mercy. She approached Becca and grabbed her free hand.
“You don't want to be like me, you don't want to become a monster.”
“It's not just you, it's him, it's Sadith. You have all done terrible things, with your power and without it. Your story is full of death, revenge, pain. Every time I lose control and notice that anger takes control of me, I see myself reflected in what I have known about you and I don't want to be that.”
“We'd better sit down,” Sadith said, leading Becca to the floor so she could sit on the grass. Then she whispered a few words and the wind ceased on the esplanade and the heat of the sun began to feel comforting. “Without intention, we have bombarded you with information in recent weeks, information that is very difficult to assimilate, and it is inevitable that what stands out in that story is all the negative, all the pain. None of us can ever deny what we have done, but think a little beyond the obvious. You carry the blood of an angel, a being who, beyond the terrible things he has done, embarked on his vital journey for love of lost children, an immense love like no one can feel. Your mother was wasted a lot of time, but it was also for love that she managed to change. The love for Niel and Narmesh made me sacrifice my own mortality for their safety and it was Genevieve's sacrifice that made you stay alive. Not everything has been pain and blood, Becca. And there is still something more important.”
“What?”
“You are not any of us!” replied Liliath. “You carry our blood, true, but you are free to choose, free to choose not to become one of us.”
"So, little one, don't be afraid to embrace the gifts that life has given you because if you do, you will have in your hands the ability to do wonderful things.”
Becca looked at the two women who were still holding her hands and slowly released them and stood up. Almost like an automaton she went to the pile of logs and repeating herself that she was not a monster closed her eyes and simply wished that the fire would devour that wood as Sadith had taught her with the rose. Her body tensed as he felt the energy flowing through her like a torrent. For a moment nothing happened and Becca thought she had failed again, but suddenly, the heat of the flames flooded her face and Becca opened her eyes to find that the pyre burned with the force of hell fire. She could not prevent the tears from filling her eyes, but, for the first time in a long time, she did not cry of sorrow or pain, but did so for the joy of having overcome her greatest fear, the fear of herself.
The following weeks were very hard. Although Becca had achieved a great deal by freeing herself from her blockages and allowing power to flow through her, it soon became clear that there was a lot she needed to learn and very little time for it. Liliath and Sadith turned out to be two magnificent teachers who were perfectly coordinated with each other to ensure that Becca learned, not only everything related to the magic of the will, but the magic of the word and that of the act, to the elements of nature, herbs with magical powers and the energy of mother earth. They forced her to get up at dawn and would not let her go to bed until they were sure she had managed to memorise and control the spells that seemed essential to them. After a few days, Becca was exhausted, but seeing the amount of things she was able to do filled her with pride and made her happy. She soon began to understand that the magic that these women tried to teach her was not rigid and static, but fluid and almost artistic. Once she had learned the basics she could use that knowledge and her own power to create her own spells and, in most cases, she didn't even need to verbalise them, the magic of thought was imposed and made them a reality. Sadith was extremely proud of her and did not hesitate to let her know, but Liliath was much more reserved instead. Becca knew there was something that scared her mother terribly about the new power she had discovered, but whatever it was, the woman kept it to herself. All those weeks Becca was basically away from Charice, but, far from recriminating her, her friend seemed to understand well the purpose of it all and had made it easy for her seeking some entertainment as a teacher for the town's children. Becca knew she was doing it more for affection for her and for not making her feel bad for her forced abandonment than for the love of teaching and Becca couldn't be more grateful. Eustace, on the other hand, spent the day in the forest below the town doing who knew what, but that lack of distraction seemed most convenient at the time.
“You should talk to him,” Sadith said one day on the way back home.
“With whom?” Becca said not wanting to acknowledge what she meant.
“You know who I'm talking about perfectly. My son can be stubborn to the point of exasperation, but I know him well and I know he feels for you more than he would like to admit.” Becca blushed and tried to hide it without success. “And from what I see, he is not the only one who harbours feelings.”
“I don't think it matters too much what we feel or not, it is obvious that I am very busy and he is also, so it is better that we let all that be.”
“Do you know what he does every day?”
“I don't know and I don't care, really,” Becca lied. “He will be out there being bossy, that is what he likes.”
“That's true!” replied Sadith, laughing without hesitation. “I think he gets that after me. But no. What he does is stand guard in the forest every day, making sure you're safe.” Sadith's answer left Becca confused and not knowing what to answer. “I haven't seen him so in love since he met his wife.”
“He has been married?”
“Yes, a long time ago, in the sixteenth century,” Sadith replied, and Becca found it strange to be talking about someone alive in those terms. “At that time he was over two hundred years old and the idea of eternity was beginning to become difficult. That woman appeared on her way and managed to make him forget about that other aspect of his life.”
“May I ask what her name was?” Becca asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.
“Loredana de Bresci. She was the daughter of a minor count of the Venice area. They met while my son was staying at her brother's house who was his friend. Love arose between them immediately and they soon married. Unfortunately, Loredana succumbed to the curse of many of the women of her time. She became pregnant, but could not bear the birth and she and the child both died. I've never seen my son so devastated! The pain of the loss was accentuated by the frustration of knowing that he didn't even have the hope of m
eeting them soon. I tried to help him, as you can imagine, but I suppose that even my presence at that time was a burden and he left my side. It took me almost another two hundred years to see him again. During that time I always knew if he was okay or not because mothers feel that about our children deep inside the chest, but I decided it was better to let him heal his wounds in his own way. One day he appeared again in my house and it was as if he had never left. I've never asked him about the time he spent away from me and I never will, I don't care. The only important thing is that when he felt it was the right time he came back to me. But I've never seen him fall in love again until you arrived.”
“I think you're wrong, Sadith. I don't think he's in love with me. What happened between us meant nothing to him, it was just a night and it ended with the sunrise.”
“If you allow me an opinion, I think you don't believe what you're telling me. Your body betrays you easily and you have been rubbing your hands nervously since we started talking about it,” she said, looking at her gently and stopping to hold her gently by the shoulders. “Allow your old aunt a piece of advice too. Fortunately, for most humans life is not eternal, you can afford to experience your emotions with all intensity, it is your prerogative since your time here is limited. But for that same reason, don't close the doors to all those emotions. If you love, do it with all intensity and if you must hate, do it also intensely, do not let your life end while you ask yourself what would have happened if you had had the courage to step forward.”
Those words were engraved on Becca's head and repeated over and over all night without allowing her to fall asleep. The image of Eustace was still forming in her head and the memory of his hands on her body, which had been asleep for several days, had woken up again with an intensity hard to deny. Finally Becca got out of bed, threw one of Liliath's scarfs over and entered the dark forest. She did not know where she was going, but she knew that this time she was not walking in dreams as in the incident at her home back in Scotland, this time it was her who consciously decided to start walking, her heart knew how to find the right path in the forest. She walked for several minutes until she reached a clearing illuminated by the moonlight that was beginning to wane, but still retained most of the brightness of its full phase. In that clearing, a few steps ahead, waiting for her with the anticipation induced by the knowledge that she would end up reaching him, was Eustace. Becca came to him who took her in his arms kissing her with an anxiety held for too long.