Give Me War

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Give Me War Page 13

by Kate McCarthy


  We left everyone behind at the bushland location with promises to help deal with the fall out tomorrow. Statements need to be made. Explanations provided. And while Evie got the all-clear from Stuart the paramedic, I still want her at the hospital first thing in the morning for a scan.

  I know my brothers will handle most of it for me, but there’s only so much they can do without me. I shot and killed a man today. I assembled an illegal-sized army of Sentinels. Even started a biker war. All in a day’s work really.

  Arriving home, I closed and locked the front door behind us, shutting out the world around us. Then we let little Peter in from the backyard, and Evie held the excited, squirming ball of fur in her arms while we sat at the dining table together, my phone resting between us, the device on speaker as we called my parents.

  Mum answered on the second ring with, “How is she?”

  I cleared my throat. “You’re on speaker, Mum.”

  “Oh. Evie?”

  “I’m—” Evie paused and looked at me. No one could fool my mother, least of all my wife. She was a second daughter to my parents. “I’ll be okay.”

  “Are you home?”

  “We’re both home,” I answered as Evie set Peter on the floor. He trotted to my side as I spoke, rising up on his hind legs to put his front paws on my thigh. “Safe and sound,” I told Mum, giving Peter a scratch behind his ears. He showed his appreciation by licking my hand. “Did Travis fill you in?” He promised to call them for us and tell them everything that happened.

  “He gave us a brief overview. Both of you have been through enough so there’s no need to get into it now. You must be tired.” My mother was a counsellor and I heard it in her voice just now, that soothing tone. I was grateful for the close relationship she had with Evie. What happened to my wife will mess with her head, and Mum would know all the right things to say to help her through this. “So, your father and I were thinking,” she began, and then cleared her throat. She was preparing to tell us something we were going to disagree with. “We know today is an important family day, but … perhaps it’s best if we keep Wolf with us tonight.”

  “No.” Evie looked at me, and she was hurting. “It’s Christmas.”

  “You need time to rest and heal.”

  “I appreciate the concern, Jenna,” she said. “I really do. But I know best what I need, and that’s my son.”

  I reached over and took her hand in mine. “Babe, do you trust me?”

  “You know I do.”

  Evie didn’t hesitate in her answer and it loosened one of the thousand knots in my stomach. I gave her a nod. “Mum, put Wolf on the phone.”

  “Okay, love,” she said.

  There was quiet for a small beat in time, and then, “Mummy?”

  An unexpected sob escaped Evie and I understood completely. Just the sound of his voice annihilated me in the best way. I had to breathe through it while Evie slapped a hand over her mouth to contain the sound.

  “Mummy, you ‘kay?”

  My wife nodded, even though Wolf couldn’t see her.

  “She’s okay, bud.”

  “Just a little hiccup,” Evie added, wiping at her tired, bruised eyes.

  “Where are you?” he asked, his voice sleepy.

  “We’re at home. Your mum … was feeling a bit sick. She’s fine now,” I said quickly, “but she needs a bit of rest, so we thought you might enjoy a sleepover at Nan and Pop’s tonight.”

  “But …” His voice got small and it broke my heart. “It’s Christmas.”

  “I know it’s supposed to be Christmas today and you got to open some of your pressies, but you know what?”

  “What?”

  I squeezed Evie’s hand. “We can move Christmas.”

  “You can do that?” Wolf sounded impressed, like I just told him I was a magical genie, here to grant his every wish.

  “Yep.”

  “Oh,” Evie sighed softly, and she looked at me like I was a magical genie too.

  I wasn’t gonna lie. It made me feel ten feet tall. The idea was an easy fix, but I got the magnitude of it. The yuletide holiday was everything to our family. I’ve heard my mother start talking plans as early as July. Co-ordination required military precision, and the fact my wife volunteered for the task this year showed just how badass she really was. But the Vipers stole it out from under us and moving it to another day meant we got to take it back.

  “We can do that,” I told Wolf.

  His voice lowered to a worried whisper. “Does the law say we can do that?”

  “Christmas is a religious holiday,” I told him. “It’s got nothing to do—”

  “Yes, baby,” Evie interrupted my lecture.

  “Cool,” Wolf replied, sounding relieved. Our kid was a stickler for following procedure. He was probably sitting there right now in his cop uniform, fingers on his badge, making sure it sat just so.

  We said our goodnights and he put Mum back on the phone. She was on board with moving Christmas Day to the day after next, while still keeping the celebration at our house so we didn’t have to leave. We hung up on her promise to take care of everything.

  I sighed heavily and looked to Evie. “Shower?”

  She could only nod, and after I used a washcloth to tend gently to her bruised face, she stepped under the hot spray to rinse off the shitty day and I started a bath for her to soak away her aches and pains. “I’ll be back in a minute,” I told her, walking out while hot water gushed into the tub. It was almost the size of a damn plunge pool and took forever to fill. I had time.

  After completing a perimeter check and noting my brothers had already put a detail on the house, I walked over to the French doors that led out into the yard, Peter’s claws ticking across the timber flooring as he followed at my heel. There was a light breeze outside. Pool water rippled and branches swayed gently as I made the call.

  I put the phone to my ear. It didn’t ring for long.

  Coby answered. “Jared?”

  My lips pressed together in a grim expression. “It’s time.”

  He exhaled deeply, knowing this had been on the cards for a while. There was a long beat of silence between us. “Okay.” He paused again. “How is she?”

  “She’s not okay, but she will be. We’re moving Christmas.”

  “What?”

  I explained, and after wrapping up the call I turned my phone on do not disturb, putting only two people on bypass. Mum, and Mac. The former because Wolf. The latter because my sister was at the hospital with Henry, keeping watch over Rossi.

  After feeding Peter and watching him hoover down his bowl of food as if he’d been starved for a whole month, I took a glass from Evie’s display cabinet in the dining room, added ice, poured in a generous splash of whiskey, hesitated, then added another hefty splash, before returning to the bathroom.

  And now I’m here, listening to Evie tell me we aren’t a good team anymore, and one of those knots that started loosening in my stomach, tightens right the fuck back up again.

  “You’re right,” I say, and her eyebrows soar at my agreement. “We used to be a good team.” Letting go of her legs, I seize her little bath caddy. She watches me twist and set it on the bathroom floor beside us, out of the way. Then I seize her. Hands curling around her hips, I drag her up against me until she has no choice but to straddle my hips, giving me a lapful of deliciously naked woman.

  More water sloshes over the rim of the bath, dousing the little scented candle bullshit she’d set up on her caddy. “But now?” I add, enjoying the way the good parts of her now rub up against the rapidly hardening parts of me. “We’re a great fucking team.”

  Her palms slide up and over my chest until her hands curl around my shoulders, her fingers digging in slightly. “Jared—”

  “No.”

  Please don’t leave me.

  “I just want to—”

  “Nope.” I’m a stubborn bastard.

  “I’m trying to—”

  I lean in
and smother her words with my mouth. I don’t want to hear them.

  She mumbles, “Would you just—”

  “Kiss you?” I say against her lips. “Okay.”

  “Oh my god, Jared,” she retorts, exasperated, but mirth bubbles up from inside of her. I feel the vibrations against my chest as her laughter escapes.

  Then I kiss her. Really kiss her. Because she’s so brave and beautiful. Even when she’s barely holding it together. The laughter dies and she returns my kiss. And when I thrust my tongue inside her mouth, she tangles it with her own.

  It burns me like a fever and makes me so damn grateful I have her back with me. I deepen the kiss, knowing how impossible it would be for me to let her go.

  Evie twines her arms around my neck, and I wrap my own around her upper body, her breasts mashing up against my chest. We can’t get any closer, and I make a small, frustrated grunt as my lips move over hers because it’s not close enough.

  Eventually we break apart because I need to let her breathe, and I press my forehead to hers.

  “Jared,” she gasps.

  “Evie,” I counter.

  “Please let me speak.”

  An impending sense of doom overtakes me, like the final scene in that movie, Deep Impact, where they’re standing on the beach watching an apocalyptic tsunami come tearing towards them. That’s me right now. I stiffen, every muscle rigid as I prepare myself for the worst. “Okay. Speak.”

  EVIE

  Now that I have his undivided attention, I don’t know where to start, so I do the only thing I can do, and go back to the beginning. “Remember when we first met?”

  His expression softens, but all I remember at the time was sheer terror.

  “I didn’t want any part of you.” His eyes crinkle in a slight wince but I forge ahead. “I’d been hurt before and I told myself I wouldn’t go through that again, but there you were when I opened the door, and suddenly I started wanting everything. It didn’t take long for me to realise you didn’t have the potential to hurt me. Not you. You had the potential to annihilate me.” My voice lowers to a rough whisper because it’s hard to admit you’re a coward. “I was scared. But you weren’t. You waged a war on the walls I built around myself, and when they came down, you walked right in and stole my heart as if it were yours to take.”

  Jared looks devastated. “Evie—”

  “Don’t.” I press a finger to his lips. “I let you. I let you because I trusted you. I wanted you to have it.” My finger falls away and I kiss him. “Because I loved you. But I expected love to be easy when it’s anything but. It’s overwhelming and stupid, and a lot of work. We fight, and hurt each other, and say the wrong things. And I’ve focused for far too long on having a baby instead of our marriage.” My eyes burn and a tear slips free. Jared makes a sound and wipes it away. “I’m sorry,” I croak. “I lost sight of the most important thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That we’re a team. And love might be all those things, but every minute of every hour, of every day, it’s worth it because we’re in this together.”

  Jared exhales a rough breath, visibly fighting back his emotions. He tugs me closer, his arms a steel band that locks me tight against him. He buries his head in the crook of my neck and inhales deeply. When he speaks, his voice is low and scratchy, and muffled against my skin. “I’m sorry too. I felt like I’d failed you, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I didn’t, and look what happened.” He tips his head back, resting his chin on my shoulder as he holds me tight. “You’re right, my beautiful wife. We’re a team. And our journey isn’t perfect, but it’s ours.” Jared loosens his hold, pulling back to press a kiss to my forehead. “I’m with you ‘til the end.”

  “You better be,” I tease. “You put a ring on it, after all.”

  “And it’s never coming off,” he declares with a fierce glare, pulling back so he can look me in the eye. I sigh internally. Today, my husband went to war for me, he killed the man who took me, and then he put me in a bath and kissed my forehead like I was his most prized possession. Of course the ring is never coming off. “Now is there something else you were wanting to tell me?”

  “Yes.” My insides melt like ice cream in the sun. Even though Jared already knows our happy news, he’s giving me this. “We’re having another baby.” I (wisely) decide to leave out the fact we’ve already named her Moses. That’s a battle for another day. And it is going to be a her I’ve decided. I’ve seen the darling little dresses Mac puts her little girl in every day. I want in on that action. “Merry Christmas,” I add.

  Jared takes my face in his hands. “Babe.” He ducks his head, his mouth pressing to mine in a long, lingering kiss. Then his hands move to my hips, grasping tightly, fingers digging in as he pulls me a little closer. “I love you,” he says against my mouth. “So much.”

  I exhale a shaky breath of emotion. “I love you, too.”

  Jared lets me go and stands. Water streams over his body. I ogle, watching thick muscle bunch and flex as he steps out of the bath and reaches for a towel. Then he turns and holds out a hand.

  I take it, his fingers curling around mine as I rise and step out beside him. Then he starts patting me dry with the towel, his touch so tender it makes me ache. “Jared,” I say on a shaky whisper.

  “Shhh.”

  He crouches, blotting dry my hips and legs. Rising, he turns me, and completes the other side. Then he turns me back and without warning, he lifts me and sets me down naked on the bathroom vanity. I flail and grip its edges.

  He nudges open my thighs and steps between them, and he looks down at me, swallowing. “Let me take care of you.”

  “Jared, you don’t—”

  He bends and drops his head, resting it on my belly. A deep shuddering breath rips out of him, a crack in his composure. “Let me.” I scrape my fingernails through his hair and his lips touch my belly, so achingly gentle. “Please.”

  Another kiss hits lower and his eyes lift to mine. My breath catches at the heat in them, and the love. “I need this.” He kisses lower again as he sinks down before me. His hands wrap around the backs of my thighs, spreading them wider. Then he buries his head between my legs, his tongue plunging into me with a groan.

  “Jared,” I rasp as he draws back and slowly licks at me, his tongue swirling and dipping playfully. My head tips back and I whimper, my hands tangling in the soft, golden brown strands of his hair.

  “Babe,” he mumbles against me as I squirm. His hands are almost bruising on my legs as he holds me to his hot mouth, sucking at my clit until I start to shake.

  I pull at his shoulders when I’m close, trying to pluck him free. “Need you,” I gasp, wanting him inside me.

  He only sucks harder and I cry out, blindsided by the sudden orgasm. Pleasure bursts bright and hot and I fall back against the bathroom mirror, levelled to rubble like a building in an earthquake. His mouth slows, and he kisses me gently through the aftershocks.

  I’m still seeing stars when Jared rises and angles himself, driving his cock inside me. I buck against him, the sudden intrusion stealing my breath.

  “Fuck,” he says with a groan, his head dropping to my shoulders as he stills and shudders. My legs wrap around his hips and he lifts me off the vanity, fingers digging into my ass as he carries me from the bathroom to the bedroom. He lowers me to the bed, still inside me.

  “Christ, you feel good,” he gasps and pulls almost all the way out before plunging back in, not taking the time to tease me like he usually does. He’s forceful, desperate, his pace unmeasured and erratic as he thrusts hard inside me, and harder again, until I feel battered in the best possible way.

  Rising onto his knees, Jared grabs the backs of my legs, lifting me as he slams in and out, sweat sheening his chest and muscles working hard. Then his head tips back and he stills, coming so hard he holds his breath before letting loose a shout, grinding his hips against me.

  When the rapid rise and fall of his chest even
s out, I’m lowered and he falls down over me, bracing a hand on the bed above my shoulder. He uses the other to brush hair from my face before scraping his thumb across my cheek. His eyes follow the tender gesture before coming to mine. “I’m out.”

  “You’re … out?”

  “I’m out, Evie. I spoke to Coby while you were in the shower. I can’t do it anymore. I’m out.”

  “No.” Jared is still inside me and I jerk free, panic flooding me as I scramble from the bed. He follows, rising to his feet with a wary expression as I spin around, jabbing a finger at him. “No!" I shout, suddenly breathless as I stand there, freshly fucked and horribly betrayed. “You are not out!”

  “Did you suddenly forget what happened today?” he shouts back, veins popping in his arms as he fists his hands.

  “For a moment, yes!” I shriek. “I’m standing here with your come coating my fucking thighs, and I feel sore, and used, and loved, and fucking alive, and you gave that to me. You fucking gave that to me,” I yell, “and then you just snatched it completely away! You fucking idiot!”

  Jared works his jaw for a moment. “Are you done?”

  “Why? Why would you do this?”

  “Do you really need to ask that?”

  “Yes! I do! Why do you think they didn’t snatch up Mac, or Quinn, or even Grace? Because I put myself out there just as much as you do! I’m in the public eye. It makes me a target regardless of what you do.” My chest is heaving and I struggle to slow the furious pounding of my heart. “Don’t do this.”

  He lifts his chin. “It’s already done.”

  “So undo it.”

  “Evie …” Jared starts for me, stopping when I back away. His brows pinch. “I thought you’d be happy about this.”

 

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