I open and close my door quietly and meet Autumn on the passenger side. Before we open Clementine’s door and I carry her in, I cage Autumn against the front passenger door. Her arms wrap around my waist, beneath my shirt. The heat between us wiping away the evening January chill.
Her nails softly dig into my skin as I lean down and press my lips to hers. The kiss starts off slow and steady, but heated. I paint her tongue with mine as soft moans echo in her throat. I deepen the kiss, shifting my hands to the back of her neck and the curve of her hip. My groin presses into her lower abdomen. Unhurried, her hands dance across my skin from back to front. Skimming up the length of my torso with purpose.
I hiss and our lips part for a second. In the darkness of the parking lot, Autumn kisses down the side of my neck. Claws down my chest. All but unmans me against the Jeep. Sweet fucking Christ. I drop my other hand to her hip, hold her steady, and rock mine forward.
“Fuck, scarlet,” I whisper toward the heavens.
She kisses back up my neck until her lips reach mine again. We stand tongue-tangled like teenagers for I don’t know how long. When I’m on the verge of ripping her clothes off in public, I tear my lips from hers. Her pouty lip makes an appearance and I laugh.
“We should stop, I know,” she says.
Hesitantly, I step back from her and grunt. “Yeah, we should. Just consider what I said before. About staying over. Promise if you say no, I won’t be upset.”
“Swear I’ll think about it.”
After I give my body a moment to cool off, I open Clementine’s door slowly, unbuckle her, signaling Spartan to stay while I carry her inside. Once I lay her in bed and slip off her shoes, Autumn walks me out. Kisses me again, but this time more tenderly. Every ounce of affection poured into the gesture before we say our good nights.
On the way home, one constant thought swirls through my mind. The possibility of soon not having to say good night to Autumn as one of us leaves. A man can only hope.
Twenty-Three
Autumn
“Earth to Autumn.”
I snap my head up to find Penny staring me down, hand on her hip and brow cocked. “What?”
“Said your next appointment is here. I’ll let them know you need a few more minutes to get ready.” She scrutinizes my expression. “You alright? Haven’t been yourself all day.”
I sigh heavily and nod. “Yeah.” Curling my finger, I beckon her closer. “Jonas asked me to stay the night. Clementine, too.”
Penny steps back with the most wicked smile on her face. “And?”
“And nothing. He asked and told me to think about it.” Now me spending the night with him is the only thing occupying my mind. My clients are lucky I haven’t jacked up their art today.
She plops down on my client chair. “You are going to say yes, right?”
Herein lies the dilemma. Every atom in my body, every firing live wire zapping my skin, tells me to say yes. I want to say yes. But one thing still has me hesitant. Not Jonas. He is the best man to enter my life. The piece which has me mulling it over, to death, is Clementine. Not because I would bring her, but the possibility of her getting attached to Jonas.
What if our relationship is all smiles and laughter for a bit, but then something changes and it no longer is? What if Clementine falls in love with the idea of always having Jonas around, and then he isn’t? These are the thoughts which have me uncertain. It’s one thing for me to hurt, but I never want that for Clementine.
“Pen, I want to. Badly. But…”
“But what, Auti? Jonas is a good man. Everyone sees it. And I know you see it. So what has you second-guessing?”
I huff, hating that this conversation has to happen. Being put on the spot sucks, as does my uncertainty. “What if it doesn’t work out with Jonas and Clementine gets close to him?”
Penny tilts her head to the side and pops her gum. “Honestly?” I nod and tuck my lips between my teeth. “Think you’re more scared of you and Jonas staying together.” My forehead scrunches and she holds up a hand to stop me from rebutting. “Auti, you haven’t had the best relationships in the past. Clementine’s birth father was the last person you were with, and he was an asshole. Any person who tucks their tail and runs when shit gets serious is a piece of shit. Especially after what went down with your parents.”
Wiping down the counter and chair, I nod as Penny continues.
“Jonas is not Leo, Auti.” I meet her eyes and she holds strong. “He isn’t. And the way Jonas looks at you, the way he looks at Clementine… he wants so much more with you. Tell me you see it. Tell me you feel it. He flaunts his heart like a marquee sign.”
I do sense the way Jonas cares about me. About both of us. Part of me is scared to take the next step. To get consumed by all that we feel. To open up, share my past, and let Jonas in all the way. Because if I open up, if I give him every little piece of my heart, and he crushes it… there is no coming back from such devastation. And if I fall that hard, that deep, and come out on the other side hurt, I can only imagine how my sweet, innocent little girl would handle it. Clementine should never have to experience such heartache. Not until she is strong enough, old enough, to deal with such anguish.
“Yeah, Pen, I see it.” Probably because my heart reflects his. I pop up and glance at Rex and Reznor in the booths next to mine. “Boys?” They both perk up—eyes on their clients, ears on me. “Thoughts? Am I thinking too much into this whole scenario?”
Without a doubt, they have heard the entire conversation between me and Penny. Plus, they are family. Between all of us—Rex, Penny, Reznor, Iliana, and me—there are no secrets. Granted, Penny is the only one who knows every sorted detail about my past, but no one is out of the loop. They know enough I don’t have to skirt around topics. Penny and Iliana generally work opposite days or shifts, so Iliana and I aren’t as close as me and Penny. But we are all tight.
“Think if you explain it to the little princess the right way—staying over—it shouldn’t seem abnormal to her. And yes, I think you should do it.” Reznor pauses to dip the needle in the ink cap. “You deserve happiness, A. I love seeing you smile. And he makes you smile. All the time.”
As if on cue, a smile perks up the corners of my mouth.
“I’m with Rez,” Rex adds. “He seems like a great guy; legit. And if he isn’t, your brothers will make it right.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Oh god.” But Penny gives me a look that says see, I’m right. Yeah, yeah. “Alright, let me get back to work before the natives become restless.”
The next few hours go by slower than desirable. With each line and dot and shading I etch into skin, I ponder over saying yes to Jonas. To his proposition of staying the night. A constant buzz courses through my body and it has nothing to do with the tattoo gun in my hand.
God, I cannot remember the last time I thought about spending the night with a man. Well, back then, they weren’t men. Clementine’s father and I had only been together six months when I found out I was pregnant. Pregnant at twenty. A single mother at twenty-one.
Sure, I had spent the night with other guys prior to Clementine’s father, but during those days, most of us still lived at home with our parents. Spending the night wasn’t so much an option, unless someone’s parents were out of town. And that was almost never. At least, in the circle of people I knew then.
As an adult—a woman—this has never come up. That’s what happens when you don’t date. Seemed like the best decision at the time. Now, I wish maybe I would have given it a try once or twice. Just so I wasn’t so inexperienced. Ugh.
When I wrap up with my final scheduled appointment, Penny skips over and watches me clean up. She doesn’t speak a word. Just follows me with her eyes and pops her gum. But her gaze is loaded with questions. Questions I will answer, but not until she asks them. So, I continue to wipe everything down and dispose of my trash while she hovers like a grade A helicopter parent.
I laugh under my breath as she studies
my every move out of the corner of my eye. Cracks me up how she waits—impatiently—for me to blurt out my decision. Penny has known me for years—I met her and the guys shortly before Clementine was born—and knows I won’t freely hand out information. More often than not, someone has to ask for me to answer.
“You know, I thought maybe Jonas would’ve at least gotten you to be more forward. But it would appear otherwise,” she says, narrowing her eyes.
Now I laugh out loud. “Old habits die hard,” I answer.
“Well, that’s one habit I hope he influences.” She gives me a snide smile. “So, did you figure out what to do?”
I nod. “Yep.” Penny waits for me to say more, but I stay tight-lipped. It’s too much fun dragging it out and torturing the hell out of her.
“And?” She waves her hand frantically as she pops another bubble. “You live to mess with me, don’t you?”
Shrugging, I bite the inside of my cheek and try to taper my smile. “It’s fun. What can I say?” Her chin juts forward and her eyes widen. “And I decided to say yes.”
“Eep!” Penny squeals, a body piercing sound from her throat as she jumps up and down in place. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” She looks between Rex and Reznor. “You guys hear that? She’s going to say yes.”
Heat creeps up my neck and fills my cheeks. “Penny, shh.” Reznor and Rex give me subtle smiles. They are happy for me, but I’m glad they don’t shriek and draw all attention my way.
“Whatever,” she says. “So, is he coming over for dinner tonight? Should I be the annoying roommate? Or do you want me to act ignorant to all these details? Not clap when you tell him.”
Oh Jesus. “Penny, please just be normal. No clapping or screaming or teasing. Please,” I beg.
“Fine,” she huffs out. “I’ll be good.” Penny puts on her cutest sulking face. “But when he leaves, I’m freaking out.”
I snatch my purse and head for the exit. “I’m good with that. See you at home in a bit.”
She waves. “Deuces.”
* * *
I put the salmon fillets in the oven just as there is a knock at the door.
Clementine barrels down the hallway. “Mama, Jonas is here. And Sparty.” Her excitement makes me smile.
“Hang on, pumpkin.” Although we know who is at the door, I still don’t let Clementine answer the door without an adult.
She bounces in front of the door, eager to see Spartan. As soon as I unlock and open up the door, I don’t know who is more excited—Clementine or Spartan. He bounds inside and she leads him to the couch. They plop down and she starts telling him all about her day. The project her class has been working on. The icky cafeteria food. Everything. And it is too damn cute.
“Hey,” Jonas says as he steps inside and kisses my temple. “How was your day, scarlet?”
His lips on my skin always make me forget whatever I plan to say. The only thought invading my mind now is the heat from his lips spreading across my skin. When I remember how to use my voice again, I speak up. “Long.”
He chuckles against my hair, wraps his arm around my waist, and pulls me into him. “Mine too. Glad to be here now, though.”
I breathe him in and melt at the scent I classify as one-hundred-percent Jonas. “Me too.” I lean back and look up at him. “Want to help me finish up dinner? Pretty much done. Just have to plate it.”
We move around the kitchen in symmetry. Yin and yang. Dark and light. Moon and sun. Opposing forces balancing the other out. Ebbing and flowing.
Penny joins us for dinner when she gets home. We each take turns talking about our day, but we all give Clementine more time than the rest of us. She talks animatedly about the seeds the class planted and how they started sprouting today. All of us zero in on every word she says and ask more questions to hear her enthusiasm about growing herbs.
Plates cleared; we load up the dishwasher then head for the couch to watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Clementine and Spartan sprawl out on a blanket on the floor. I curl into Jonas’s side at one end while Penny sits on the opposite end. Halfway through the episode, Penny rises off the couch and fake yawns.
“Gonna head to bed. Night everyone,” she says then tosses a wink in my direction.
I roll my eyes. “‘Night.”
After her door clicks shut, Jonas shifts beside me and finagles so we lay down. I scoot back and snuggle against his front as he splays a hand across my abdomen beneath my shirt. He kisses the spot beneath my ear and I close my eyes. Tingles ripple from his kiss on my neck to where his hand caresses my skin.
Jonas continues to explore my neck and ear with his lips, driving me wild. I lace my fingers with his. Tighten my hold with every other kiss. Breathe heavier with each press of his lips or nip of his teeth.
“Did you think about what I asked last night?” he whispers in my ear just before he takes my lobe between his teeth.
I clamp down on my lips and moan as quietly as possible. “Yes.”
His lips pause at the curve of my neck. “Yes, you thought about it? Or yes, you’ll stay?”
Chuckling, I spin around in his grip and face him. I lay my palm on his cheek and kiss him. “Both. Yes, I want to stay. For us to stay.”
It takes a moment for my words to click into place, but as soon as they do, Jonas’s eyes burn brighter. His hand skims up my spine beneath my shirt as he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. Consumes me. Gives me a piece of him.
When he breaks the kiss, I lift my gaze to meet his, and get lost in the intensity. In the volcanic eruption. Hot. Magnetic. Hypnotizing. It draws me closer and dampens my skin.
He glances over my shoulder to Clementine and Spartan on the floor. “Have you?”
I shake my head. “Wanted to tell you first. We can tell her together.” He nods.
While the rest of the episode plays, Jonas and I lay facing each other, silent. And I have never been more comfortable in my life. Never more ready to share my life with another person. To let someone in and explore everything love has to offer.
And when we explain having a sleepover with Clementine, she seems nonchalant. Only excited she gets to spend the night with Spartan. It was all so easy. Simple. Perfect.
I hope our life stays exactly like this. Easy and blissful in our perfect little bubble.
Twenty-Four
Jonas
Autumn has been to my house before. Has seen every room. Traipsed her fingers on countertops and bookshelves and blankets. Stood at my stove and cooked alongside me. Cuddled with me on the couch and kissed me senseless.
But right now, I dash around the house as if none of that holds weight.
Tossing my clothes in the washer after moving the bedding to the dryer. Washing every cup, plate, and pan immediately after use. Wiping down the counters in the kitchen and bathroom. Scrubbing the toilet. And the shower. Dusting. Vacuuming. Mopping.
I woke before the sun came up. Made breakfast, then realized I needed to clean out the fridge. That very moment is when the manic cleaning marathon started. When I deep cleaned the entire interior of the house from top to bottom.
Spartan watches me with keen interest. Wondering what the hell is wrong with his dad. Tilts his head left then right as I dart from one end of the house to the other. But I don’t have time to explain it all to him. Not like he would understand, anyway.
After making the bed and switching my clothes to the dryer around noon, I head outside and mow the yard. Thankfully, enough of my yard is landscaped that I only push the mower and thrust the weed whacker for an hour.
After a quick but thorough shower, I put away the last of the laundry and jot down some last-minute groceries. Out the door and at the store less than ten minutes later, I fill the cart with my normal weekly purchases plus some extras for tonight. During my last couple of grocery trips, I started picking up items specifically for Clementine. Little things such as her favorite juice and mini marshmallows, popcorn, and red licorice. The girl is fond of her movie snacks.
But today I plan to grab extras. Not just for Clementine, but all of us. Extra movie snacks and extra breakfast items.
Two nights ago, when Autumn agreed to stay over, my brain went frantic. I waited until yesterday to ask her what kinds of foods she and Clementine both liked for breakfast. Breakfast. A meal we haven’t shared yet. A meal which could consist of hundreds of different options. Of all the meals, breakfast is generally the easiest. But only if you liked the standard breakfast foods.
With each day we spend together, I learn how much Clementine resembles Autumn. Appearance. Personality. And their love for food. I honestly have no idea where they pack it all.
After I check out at the grocery store and head home, the first thing I notice when I walk in the door is the strong blend of multi-purpose cleaner and generic pine. Once I put all the groceries away, I sift through a few cabinets in the utility room and locate a small tote of candles I have collected over the years. Candles I rolled my eyes at during the holidays when my sisters gifted them. Now, I need to remember to thank them during family dinner next week.
I remove the lid from the black candle, bring it to my nose, and inhale. Masculine. A blend of leather and teakwood. I light the wicks and place it as centrally as possible in the open floor plan of the house. Within minutes, the house smells less like a janitorial closet and closer to a men’s clothing store.
A few minutes pass as I get lost in the flickering candle flames. Lost in the reality that Autumn and Clementine will be here in a couple hours’ time. Since we have been officially seeing each other, shared dinners have happened almost nightly. But she or I always went home at the end of the night. And the thought of her not going home tonight has me unable to focus.
Tonight, Autumn will lay beside me. In my bed. Between my sheets. The heat of her skin pressed to mine.
Spartan barks and I snap out of my daydream. “Thanks, buddy. Time to prep d-i-n-n-e-r and dessert.” He barks again. “Mine, not yours.”
Fine Line (Inked Duet #1) Page 19