Then she asked if I would have simplified if someone else had suggested it to me—before I came to the decision on my own. My initial reply was, probably not!
But as I thought about it some more, I realized that if someone had outlined easy changes I could make which would free up some time without derailing the rest of my schedule, I believe I would have paused long enough to consider them.
If someone had been able to show me that just by tweaking my daily routine I would have more time each week—not to work more but to play more and relax more—I like to think I’d have been open to that possibility.
If someone had pointed out that reducing the hours I spend in the office each day could actually make me more productive, I would have been open to experimenting with that.
If I could have seen that freeing up more time for leisure would help open me up to my creativity, which in turn would make it possible for me to move away from a career I’d never been happy in and into one that now is a constant source of joy… Well, I might have been skeptical, but because hope springs eternal, I’d have sought out that leisure time.
And if someone had convinced me that eventually I could use some of my newfound time to face the more difficult challenges I’d spent years avoiding—such as conquering my fears and learning to forgive—and that doing those things in turn would free me for unprecedented personal and inner growth, I like to think I’d have gone for it.
So that’s what I’d like to do for you in Living the Simple Life. If you’re just starting to consider the possibility of simplifying, I want to give you a glimpse of the tremendous freedom you’ll experience when you start to eliminate some of the day-to-day complexities.
You’ll see that simplifying is not necessarily about getting rid of everything we’ve worked so hard for. It’s about making wise choices among the things we now have to choose from. It’s about recognizing that trying to have it all has gotten in the way of enjoying the things which do add to our happiness and well-being. So it’s about deciding what’s important to us, and gracefully letting go of the things that aren’t.
You’ll see that simplifying is not necessarily about moving to Walden Pond and sending the laundry home to Mother. It’s about simplifying our lives right where we are. It’s about learning to reduce the laundering chore, along with all the other chores and frequently self-imposed obligations, so we can begin to make the contributions we all, in our heart of hearts, want to make to our family, to our community, to our environment, and to the world.
If you’ve already begun taking steps to simplify, Living the Simple Life will help you continue on your way, perhaps with some ideas you may not have thought of, and possibly with some different ways of thinking about the process.
If you’ve long been living the simple life, I hope you’ll find here some reinforcement and even validation for the sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, but almost always rewarding choices you’ve made.
When you start slowing down, cutting back, creating time—real time for yourself—the important things become obvious. Once you simplify your life you begin, perhaps again, to do your best work. You can start, perhaps all over again, to live your best life, whatever that is for you.
Simplifying is not a panacea. It won’t solve all the problems of our lives or of the world. But it’s a good beginning.
ONE
The Simple Life
1. What Living the Simple Life Means for Me and Gibbs
When my husband, Gibbs, and I first made the decision to simplify our lives in the summer of 1990, we weren’t sure what living the simple life would mean for us. In many respects we had a good life; we just didn’t have the time or the energy to enjoy it.
We knew we didn’t want to drop out. We weren’t ready to move to the woods. We didn’t want to give everything away. We’re too young to retire, and were not in a financial position to do so, anyway. Our challenge was to create a simpler life right where we were, in a town we love, with people we care about.
For us, simplifying meant, among other things, getting rid of an accumulation of possessions that were no longer adding anything to our lives and were taking up a lot of space in our closets and storage spaces. It was about moving to a smaller, easier-to-maintain home.
It was about cutting back on the daily and weekly household routines—cooking, grocery shopping, housecleaning, yard maintenance, errand running—and using the time we’d freed up to watch the sunset, or to putter in the rose garden, or to spend time with family and friends.
It was about changing our buying patterns, not only to reduce our consumption of the earth’s resources, but also to minimize the stuff we have to take care of, insure, and provide space for.
It was about learning to say no to many of the social and civic activities we’d often felt obligated to do, so we’d have time to enjoy the silence, or start one of our creative projects, or learn to do nothing for a change.
For Gibbs, who loves his work, it was about eliminating a stressful three- to four-hour daily commute so his workday wasn’t so exhausting and so we had more time together. He also wanted to have more time for his writing and to pursue his community and volunteer interests.
For me, it was about going from exhausting ten- and twelve-hour workdays in a career that never fed my soul to a six- to eight-hour day of writing that thrills me to the core.
It was about gradually, over the course of a couple of years, changing our daily routine so that, rather than having to rush mindlessly to begin our respective work schedules, we now have four uninterrupted hours to read, to contemplate, to take walks along the beach together, to chat on the phone with a friend, and possibly to romp with the dogs before we start our workday.
We’re still in the early stages of simplifying, so we don’t yet know all the benefits that will come from continuing to live the simple life. But we see this as a good start and a big improvement over the hectic lives we’d been living for too many years.
2. Some Other Views of the Simple Life
Keep in mind that simplification is all relative. For example, Oprah Winfrey simplified her life by unloading, via a charity auction, several thousand of the exquisite outfits she has worn on her daily television show for the past ten years, and by figuring out that she can turn off the ringer on her home phone so she doesn’t have to take calls if she chooses not to.
Barbra Streisand simplified her life by getting rid of five of her seven houses and her Tiffany lamp collection.
For David, a 42-year-old teacher who told his story at a presentation I gave in San Diego, simplifying means keeping his possessions down to eight boxes of personal items and one lamp to read by.
David uses his master’s degree in education to tutor the children of affluent families. He decided twenty years ago to limit his work schedule to two hours a day, four days a week, which provides him all the income he needs to maintain his simple life. A good deal of the rest of his time is spent doing volunteer work with underpriviledged kids.
For Ellen, a 41-year-old single attorney who wrote to me from the Northwest, simplifying is about selling her home and unloading her private practice so she can take time off to figure out what she wants to do next (which definitely won’t involve law and most assuredly won’t involve maintaining a huge house).
Based on the letters I get from readers of Simplify Your Life and Inner Simplicity and the stories I hear from people I talk with around the country—as well as on reports circulating in the media—simplifying means taking one or two or a combination of steps to reduce the stress that has become a permanent fixture in our lives.
Sometimes it means exploring new career options, sometimes it means quitting our jobs altogether, but almost always it means cutting back on our heavy work schedules.
Sometimes it means moving to a smaller home or moving across country, and sometimes it means simply living differently in the space we have.
Sometimes it means getting rid of everything, but more often it means me
rely cutting back on the amount of stuff we’ve accumulated, and changing our spending habits because we’re finally learning that too much is too much.
And sometimes simplifying means searching for balance between our need for a satisfying career, our desire to spend time with our families, and the need to nourish our inner selves.
For most of us, simplifying is any one or a combination of steps we can take to get back in control of our lives.
3. A “Corporate Yuppie” Approach to Simplifying
Dear Elaine,
I enjoyed Simplify Your Life and wanted to respond. We, too, have made a drastic lifestyle change for the better. We were yuppies at major corporations and enjoyed the material things and the fast-paced life in Dallas, Texas.
Then the kids came. They are now 2 years old and 7 months old, and they keep me busy. I have no time for fussiness or complications. People ask me how I do it, and I reply, “Simplicity and organization.” We moved to a rural area up north and look forward to raising our kids with values and a wholesome environment.
The first thing I did when we decided to simplify was to quit my job. That step in itself eliminated day-care and transportation hassles. I’m trying to get another career going from my home. I’ve always been a minimalist, but I really kicked into high gear after the kids came along.
I do a lot of the things your book mentions. I feel so free from our past stresses. The thing that makes me happiest is that I’m only 31 years old and learned this early in the game.
The hardest thing is trying to explain our lifestyle to people my age because they think our downscaling was motivated by a negative, such as my quitting my job, or because we can’t afford things. It’s the opposite, but people don’t get it. We don’t want an answering machine or call waiting. It’s not that we can’t afford it. Like you, I was constantly on the phone on my last job, and am not fond of the phone.
I’ve stopped trying to explain to people. Now I let them wonder why I’m so happy and secure in myself these days.
Sincerely,
Cynthia Ferguson
Byron Center, MI
4. A “Cabin in the Woods” Approach to Simple Living
Dear Elaine,
I live in Skagway, Alaska, ninety miles north of Juneau. Your book Simplify Your Life made it to my morning “wake up slowly time” (by reading a book and sipping warm apple cider) just this morning. It was a gift from relatives in Vail, Colorado. I had been feeling complicated and rushed lately, and decided to see what you had for me!
Soon, with a big smile, I realized that I had actually graduated from most of the one hundred simplifiers. Thank you for reminding me how most Americans live a crazy busy life compared to mine.
As I looked around my one-room cabin, taking in all 400 square feet of it, I laughed at myself for thinking my life was too complex. I live eight miles out of Skagway (population 720) in my cabin that has no electricity or running water other than the mountain creek that “runs” by my cabin that I’ve been drinking from for over five years. I have wood heat, a propane stove, and a neat and clean outhouse. I use the creek for refrigeration in summer, and a window box for a fridge in the winter. I can look out my window and see the harbor seals playing and hear the dolphins exhaling out of their blowholes.
For exercise, I chop all my own wood to burn and bike the eight miles to work most days of the week. In winter there are no open businesses in town to use me as their bookkeeper, so I have about five or six months off a year.
My quality of life is fantastic. Yesterday I saw both a bear and a coyote in my neighborhood. The eagle on the front of this card follows me to work in the mornings! I have clean air, clean water, and many loving friends who all live as simply as I do. I actually forget that most people don’t live like me and my neighbors.
We aren’t hippies or revolutionists. We simply simplified. You’d be amazed how much you can really pare down. I have hauled up a car battery that I run my radio/CD player on, but imagine how much space you’d have without all of your plug-in gadgets! Sometimes we rent movies and watch them at the public library. But the TV was the first thing I was delighted to part with.
Thank you for making your great ideas feasible for people who would not be able to make such a big step over to my lifestyle—but perhaps they’d be able to fire their personal trainer, or simplify their diet, or just smile at their neighbor.
Have a great day.
Carlie Gnatzig
Skagway, AK
5. What Does Simple Living Mean to You?
The levels of stress many of us have experienced in our fast-paced lifestyles have made us long for respite from the pressures of the modern world. The temptation is strong to think that respite would come from packing up and leaving it all behind.
But as Carlie Gnatzig points out, moving to a cabin in the woods is a big leap. Many people have left everything behind to move to the country, and then found that it’s not necessarily simple or suitable.
Tempting as it might be to some, escaping to the woods is not the only way one can live a simple life. And it’s probably not a realistic option for most of us.
And it’s not necessary to make such sweeping changes in order to simplify, at least not to begin with. For many, even minor alterations to the lifestyle we’re now living can bring significant relief.
So before you order up the proper attire from L. L. Bean, you may find it helpful, if you haven’t done so already, to take some time to figure out what simple living really means to you.
What do you hope to achieve by making some changes that would simplify your life? What would have to happen for you to live more simply? And how will you know when you’ve gotten there? Can you make some easy changes right where you are? Or would you have to move across town, or possibly across country to get to simple?
It’s possible your ideas about simplifying will change as you go along. Keep in mind that what may be simple for someone else may not be simple for you. You may end up with an entirely different understanding of simple living than the one you start out with.
But it’s so much easier to reach our destination when we at least have an idea of where it is we want to go.
6. The Things That Complicate Our Lives
Many things make life complicated for us. Here is a list of one hundred of them:
Big houses. Big mortgages. High-maintenance automobiles. Property taxes. Home remodeling. Inflation. Revolving charge accounts. Easy credit. Multiple credit cards. Credit card debt. Consumer debt. The national debt.
Not having time to spend with our spouses. Not having time to spend with our children. Difficult spouses. Children who are difficult because we don’t have enough time to spend with them. Ex-spouses. Family obligations. Ailing parents. Step-parents. Uncooperative siblings. Stepchildren. Difficult in-laws. Family expectations. Our own expectations.
Fifty-hour work weeks. Sixty-hour work weeks. Having to hold down two jobs to meet the big mortgage payments and the multiple car payments. Long commutes. Heavy traffic. Traffic jams. Traffic accidents. Difficult bosses. Obstinate employees. Grudging co-workers. Demanding clients. Irksome partners. Silent partners who won’t remain silent. Staff meetings. Breakdowns in communication. Work we don’t particularly enjoy. Work we actively dislike. Working too many long hours, even if it’s work we love. Unemployment.
Not having time to spend with friends. Not having time to spend alone. Pressing civic obligations. Committee meetings. Social commitments. Noisy neighbors. Incompetent physicians. Politics. Equivocating politicians. Congress. Attorneys. Lawsuits. Delivery people who show up a day late. Repairpeople who never show up. Contractors we wish had never shown up.
Publisher’s Clearing House mailings. Unrelenting charity requests. Television. Advertising. Televised court proceedings. Telephone solicitors. Call waiting. The Net. E-mail. Registered mail. Junk mail.
Having too much stuff. Having no options. Having unlimited options. Planned obsolescence.
Alcohol.
Drugs. Cigarettes. Pollution. Taxes. Unsafe sex. Dieting. Health fads. Exercise equipment we don’t use. Over-the-counter medications that don’t work. Cheap gadgets that don’t work. Expensive gadgets that don’t work. Relationships that don’t work. Prescription medications that may solve one problem while creating another. Illness. Choosing an HMO.
Anger. Worry. Fear. Negative cash flow. Bad weather. Natural disasters. Inadequate day-care arrangements. Plastic grocery store baggies that don’t open. Tax returns. Blown-in subscription cards.
Not necessarily in this order.
7. What We Can Eliminate
Not all of the previously mentioned things complicate life for all of us all of the time. But a lot of them make life difficult, sometimes more often than we’re aware of.
In this culture, at this point in time, most of us won’t be able to avoid all complications completely. But we can eliminate more than we think we can. We just have to learn to be selective.
And that’s a big part of what simplifying is all about.
Reread the list of things that complicates our lives and mark any that apply to your life at the moment. If you think of any other things, add them to the list.
In this list there are less than a dozen that we probably won’t be able to do anything about—not in this lifetime and not legally. They include inflation, the national debt, politics, attorneys, Publisher’s Clearing House mailings, planned obsolescence, taxes, bad weather, natural disasters, and blown-in subscription cards.
Everything else on the list, and probably most of the items you may have added, we can either do something about or selectively avoid in one way or another.
Recognizing this will simplify your life. The rest is just details.
Living the Simple Life Page 2