"Do you think it's enough?" She asked, looking at Gabby, trying to figure out how they could make the rest of their measly food rations last. They could survive on rice. If it came down to it. But their bodies would weaken, sicken, and eventually, if it went on for long enough, it would kill them.
"It's going to have to be." Gabby looked back at Rosa and tried to smile, not wanting her little sister to worry, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She let out a breath.
"I'll make it work."
They locked away the food before wandering back out to their brother. There wasn't much they could do now. They weren't meant to go outside so soon after an attack like that. Liam, exhausted from work, looked just about ready to fall asleep. An empty mug sat on the side table by his head, evidence that he'd already had his coffee for the day, and that it hadn't done much for his energy levels. The background static from the radio provided him with a soothing lullaby.
There was nothing for Rosa to do to occupy herself. She had read every book they owned, which wasn't many. Things like that were supposed to be communal, though her family had keep a small selection just for themselves. Rosa didn't want to think about the number of pages she'd seen consumed by flames during the last winter. It had proven more important to make it through the bitter cold. She couldn't find it in herself to argue.
Rosa began wiping at the ash that had settled on the tops of her boots with her fingers. She quickly gave up her efforts as black became smeared along her hands. It was always messy when this happened. Fire caused a lot of problems, but it was the minor inconveniences that really got to her. For weeks following this most recent tragedy Rosa would be struggling to clear it not just from her mind, but from her clothes as well. It made it impossible to forget when you were forced to wear the after-effects everyday. She was examining the way the soot had began to embed itself in the creases of her palms when the radio announcer's voice crackled to life.
"Aaand we're back again. Sorry for that interruption. We're dealin' with some technical difficulties over here.
Before I go any further, I'd just like to say that on behalf of the crew here at Free Voice we're sorry for the lives lost today, and we send our condolences to the friends and families of the victims."
Rosa couldn't help but notice how the announcer didn't mention when or where the attack was. Or even that it actually was an attack. Was this because there had been so many they might as well encompass them all? Did they have a script for this kind of thing now? Rosa would never know.
"There are a few new updates to the list of accused. So watch out Xiets. We know you're here. We know who you are. And we will not have mercy."
Rosa shuffled nervously in her seat. Who had they discovered as a terrorist sympathiser today?
Before she heard any names however, the radio erupted into static again. The last sentence of the broadcast echoed through her mind.
We will not have mercy.
Rosa wanted them to suffer just as much as everyone else.
They killed her father. Broke her mother. Starved her family. They bombed her schools. Killed her friends.
There was a sudden frantic knocking on the front door. A non-stop tapping that made Rosa scurry that much faster. Something was wrong.
"Rae?" She exclaimed in shock. "What's wrong?"
He was out of breath and had to stop for a second before he could talk properly.
"It's him." Wheeze.
"Liam." Wheeze.
"They think he's a Xiet."
ONE
There must have been some kind of disconnect between my ears and my brain. I couldn't process those words.
"What?" I stared blankly at Rae's face.
Liam?
Accused?
That wasn't possible.
He would never hurt anyone. Not if he could help it. Not unless he, or one of us, was being attacked. It was not in his nature to be violent. Everyone knew that. Even the thought of injuring another person made him nauseous. His unwillingness to cause pain, to add it to what we already went through, was one of the things most people admired about him.
But that meant the accusation was a lie.
"What do you mean they think he's a Xiet?" My voice jumped up in pitch at the idea. The absurd, ridiculous, impossible idea that my brother was a terrorist.
Rae glanced down the street before he pushed me inside, slamming the door shut behind us.
"Keep your voice down. People will start showing up any second. You know how this goes. They're furious. And Liam is a person they can take down quickly. You guys need to get to the council before that happens." My jaw still hung open in disbelief. I couldn't believe the words as they came out of his mouth. They flew over my face and tangled in my hair. Told me to listen. That this was important and I needed to open my eyes.
My mind sputtered for a moment as it tried to concentrate.
"What the hell is going on?" Liam asked from behind me. Gabby stood a little further back with our mother. She held the edge of Mum's faded pink dressing gown to stop her from wandering off.
The words fell out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think.
"They think you're a Xiet."
Those words. They sat there in the middle of the room. Taking up too much space. Swallowing all of the oxygen so there was none left for the rest of us.
Liam's eyes widened in terror.
"Rae thinks we should go to the council," my voice trailed off at the end.
We'd be turning him in. And they would kill him.
I swallowed hard. The words from the broadcast echoed through my mind again.
We will not have mercy.
They would destroy him.
He didn't do anything wrong. Not a single thing. He went to work every day at the farm, spent twelve hours surrounded by feathers and the possibility of food he couldn't take. And then he came home to help us with Mum. He didn't even have the time to trade in our water ration cards each week, let alone to become a secret terrorist.
"Why? What did he do?" Gabby was as dumbstruck as I was, her voice quieter than usual.
"Is Liam in trouble at school? I told him not to hang around with those boys." I couldn't help but look at my mother, outrage morphing my features. Apparently the word terrorist couldn't even click into her brain anymore. The only thing she'd gotten from what I'd said was that Liam was being arrested.
"This is way more serious than some school problem Mum," I practically spat the last word at her. Her son's life was in danger. He was going to be subjected to the judgement of angry Pallans who thought he wanted to torture them. His very existence was teetering on the edge and she didn't even realise it.
"Rosa. It's alright. We just need to go to the authorities and we can get this whole thing sorted out." My eyes flicked back to Liam and I wondered how he could be so calm at a time like this. The longer I looked into his hazel eyes the more obvious it became that he didn't really believe what he was saying. His face had leaked all the colour it previously had, and his hands were quivering at his sides. Try as he might to hide it, Liam was scared.
More than scared — he was terrified.
I tried frantically to think of a way we could make this okay. A way to keep him safe.
But there was none.
✽✽✽
My foot was tapping out of control on the wooden floorboards of what had at one point been a local bank. Now it was being used as a police station. Another common target for the Xiets, the police force often had trouble keeping to one location for extended time periods. This had been the main station for almost six months now. It seemed ironic to me that we put our criminals in a bank, like they were valuable. At least there was nothing left to steal.
The otherwise silent room was interrupted only by the sound of my boot heels on the floor, and the resulting rattle of the bench I'd been seated at for the past hour. A woman, who was dressed in distressed and ill-fitting police gear and standing guard at the door, kept sending glares my way. I di
dn't care about her though. She wasn't going to listen, to help me. She had told us we wouldn't be here long.
That was forty minutes ago.
Upon our arrival they'd sent a couple of officers through a set of doors, with Liam gripped between them. I'd never thought I'd see my brother in handcuffs.
As we sat helplessly, just waiting, my paranoia built. Eventually I sent Rae back to the house in a desperate attempt to protect it from any vandals or looters. So now it was just Mum, Gabby, me, and the judgemental lady at the door.
"This is so stupid," I muttered for what must've been the seventh time.
"Rosa—"
"No! He's not a Xiet! Why do we even have to be here Gabby? We should be at home bored out of our minds waiting for the next bomb to hit us. Instead we're stuck here on the other side of that door while our own people decide whether or not to kill our brother!"
"Rosa stop yelling." I jumped to my feet at Gabby's words.
"I will not stop yelling. I want my brother. I want him out. I want him out now!" My voice broke in the middle of the last word as I tried to race at the door they'd disappeared through. I was faintly aware of the tears rolling down my face and sticking uncomfortably to my neck. They mixed with the ash already there, marking the pain that radiated from the very centre of my soul.
"Rosa," Gabby grabbed hold of my arm before I could get more than a couple of steps away from where she sat. Noting the look on my face she wiped at my tears and tugged me down next to her. Her arms around me were the only things keeping me from fully falling apart. Until my mum ruined it.
"Liam will be fine. He's just with his principal. Don't worry Rosa, he's a good boy. There's no need to take everything out of proportion."
I let out a sob of frustration and grief as I pushed my way out of my sister's embrace to face our mother.
"Shut up you stupid idiot! He is not talking to a principal. He doesn't even have a principal. He doesn't even go to school. There is no school. Even if there was he's twenty-freaking-two years old! He is being interrogated by cops as we sit here doing nothing. He could die! Don't you get it? Don't you care? He's your kid, how could you be so useless?" I regretted the words almost as soon as they left my mouth. My mother dissolved into tears right in front of us, earning me a strong glare from the woman at the door, and a disapproving look from Gabby.
She had to know I didn't mean it. She had to.
I looked away uncomfortably and tried to avoid the prying eyes of the guard.
"Stop looking at me," I snapped weakly and turned to face the door that kept me away from my brother.
I hated this. The waiting.
I tried to block all thoughts that flooded my head about what had just happened. Of course I'd somehow found a way to make everything worse. Now my poor, broken mother was crying while my sister struggled to keep them both together.
I almost lost it when an officer came through the door.
Without my brother.
Gabby stood from her seat.
"What's going on officer?"
"Hadley. Todd Hadley." I clenched my jaw to fight back a retort. I didn't care about this jackass' name. I just wanted to know what would happen to Liam.
"Officer Hadley, could you tell us what's going to happen to our brother?" I couldn't understand how Gabby was staying so calm. I was going to break something if this guy didn't tell us soon. Like immediately.
"We have to hold him in custody for the next few days."
"Why? He didn't do anything." Gabby shot me with her eyes but I ignored her. We wouldn't get very far playing with niceties. I needed to know what was happening. And I needed to know now.
"It's just a precaution. We don't know if we can trust what he says."
"What about us? Can you not trust us either? He's not a Xiet. He's never hurt anyone. If you're going to be this cruel then you might as well lock me up too."
"Rosa," Gabby snapped in warning. I forced my eyes away from the officer and looked down at my feet. I had to fight to keep my mouth shut. We didn't need to tempt this. I didn't need to tempt this.
I focused on the black and grey that edged along the sides of my boots. I knew it was ingrained into the bottoms too. Flecks of it had sprinkled over the floor where I'd walked. Ash and soot. Not just from today, though the increase was obvious. Too many times these shoes had walked through fire and not been cleaned afterwards. But what was the point when they'd be blackened so soon after?
"Thank you officer. Is there anything else we can do? Will we be able to keep in touch?" I huffed, exasperated by the exchange.
Screw this. It was clear that Officer Todd Hadley didn't care. Gabby thought too highly of the police force. They weren't all like Dad. They didn't care about us anymore. Not as people. They just wanted to win the war. They no longer cared if the odd person had to die in the process. I hated it. These people who were meant to protect us were only out for themselves.
Just like we were.
"We'll get in contact with you if we need anything. And I recommend you invest in home protection." This was just getting ridiculous. Not even this officer would have been able to get 'home protection'. The very idea of it was insulting. The only way we'd be able to bribe someone to protect us was by giving them a share of our rations. And we barely had enough as it was. The fact that this officer would even suggest it to us just showed how little he really cared.
"Can I at least see him?" I interrupted whatever Gabby was about to say with my hopeless request. Hadley shot me a look before turning back to my sister. Was he actually going to ignore me? Like I was going to put up with that.
As he once again opened his mouth I tried a second time. "I said: can I see him?" Hadley let out a sigh, like I was annoying him. Like this conversation was somehow more taxing for him than it was for me.
"I'm afraid you can not see him."
"Why not?"
"Because it's against protocol. Because I said so. I'm the officer here, don't you forget that."
Before anyone else had the chance to say anything I stormed out of the building, pushing past the door guard who was still looking at me like I'd spat in her face. I had to get out before I said or did something I'd regret. Why did everyone in this place have to be so paranoid about everything? Liam was not a threat.
As I weaved through the streets on my way back home a strange thought occurred to me. A terrifying thought. Had this happened before? Had innocent people been locked up and interrogated? How many had been killed? Surely this had to be a one-off thing. Right?
I felt myself sway a little with my next step. Too much had happened in just one day. I needed some water, some food, and some sleep. Considering it wasn't yet dinner time, and we hadn't traded in our ration cards so we didn't have much in the way of water, I'd have to settle for a nap. But I couldn't even do that. Not really. Not when everything in my being wanted to break something. There was so much energy built up inside my exhausted body. This was ridiculous.
I could feel eyes on me from every direction as I rushed home. I must have looked as messed up as I felt. I was angry, covered in soot, and crying. And they all thought my brother was a Xiet. I could feel the accusation and pity looping around me like a lasso. Binding me so tightly I could barely breathe.
I hated it.
Why couldn't they just leave me alone?
As I stormed my way through the streets people began to stop and stare, devoting their focus to my movements. People left the walls of safety they called their homes just to watch me pass by. I could hear them muttering.
"poor girl" … "terrorists" … "Mother's crazy" … "never should have been left alone" … "terrorists" … "Xiets" … "the whole lot of them" … "terrorists" …
My pace sped up. Fear laced its way through my anger and attacked my heart. They thought I was a terrorist. My entire family. What had we ever done to them?
I suddenly felt like I was an outsider staring into a pack of rabid animals trapped inside a steel box. They were so blinde
d by their fear of an enemy they couldn't see that when they were given a name, a body, a something to place any part of the blame on they jumped at the opportunity. The truth got lost in the chaos. Along with their humanity.
Our humanity, I realised as a sick feeling grew in my stomach. Had I not done the very same thing just four days ago when they last announced the accused?
"Hey!" I heard someone call out from behind me, followed by a series of footsteps. Someone was following me.
Oh crap.
This couldn't be good. My house came into view and I broke into a panicked sprint, somehow pushing myself to go faster than I'd ever moved before.
I didn't think about the fact that I was leading them to the place where I lived.
I didn't think about how running, or rather running away from someone, would draw more attention and seem suspicious.
I was only thinking about the flash of knives I could see clutched in these peoples' hands. The glass bottles. The bats, the brooms. Weapons. Were they going to hurt me? I didn't know, but I didn't plan on giving them a chance. This was the first time I'd ever felt grateful that we had such limited access to firearms.
I turned the corner and ran towards my house, and in my panic it seemed that the closer I got, the slower I went. I noticed Rae was standing behind one of the windows and I screamed out. I wasn't sure if what I screamed was actually coherent words, or if it was just noise. Either way it got his attention. By the time I reached the door he had it flung open for me and slammed it as soon as I cleared the frame.
"What happened?" I had to wait a few moments to catch my breath before I could form words. My legs gave up. I crumpled to the floor and leaned against the wall.
"They don't believe us. They won't let me see him. They wouldn't let me in. They wouldn't let me." I was starting to sob through my puffing and words. I felt lightheaded. My lungs were incapable of filling with air. I started to cough and splutter.
Bright Cold Day Page 2