We didn't stick to any sort of path, cutting over fences and through overgrown, half-dead gardens. The further out we went, the more wrecked and destroyed the houses became. Some from age and disuse. Some had the telling marks of flame. Others had entire walls missing, lost to explosions from an earlier time, when the Xiet attacks were at their worst.
We hadn't gone that far before the damage jumped up a level. We'd officially crossed the border out of Palla. Houses were completely obliterated. Roofs caved in. Buildings were crumpled on one side, like a giant's fist had smashed down from the sky.
I tried not to think about who had been inside those houses. The people who'd called those places home. Those places now so empty.
This area was frequently bombed at random intervals. It formed a sort of wall of death and destruction that caged us in. It was also said that Xiets set up camp around here, with hand held weapons, ready to catch any of us who made it through. A shudder made its way down my spine at the danger we were walking towards. But there was a chance these were rumours. There was a chance that, if we went this way, we might live. No such chance existed back in the city. In Palla.
We didn't speak much. We didn't know what to say.
I was consumed with worry for every other member of our family. The ones who weren't with us. I tried not to think of Liam, alone somewhere, deep in that stupid concrete prison. Waiting and hoping that he'd be let out. Knowing somewhere in his mind that they'd kill him. I couldn't help but wonder if he was worried about us too. Or if his fear was so all consuming it could only extend to himself.
We ran for a bit, in a desperate attempt to cover more ground as it began to get darker. We didn't have any kind of light source so we would have to stop somewhere for the night earlier than I would have wanted to. I wanted to be as far away from Palla as I could get.
I realised, slowly, how little I really knew about Palla. The small, remaining city of what was once the vibrant country known as Pallara. I knew how we had been forced to move inwards, eventually getting smaller and smaller. Losing people as fast as we lost land. I knew that we'd lost a war against Tikorania. I knew that they were the ones who gave us our rations and medical supplies. That the Xiets were a part of their military. That the Xiets were the reason behind all of our pain and misfortune.
I knew the history of Palla as it was now. A few roads clutched together by the desperate hands of those who wanted to stay alive.
But I didn't know much more than that. I didn't know what that war had been about. I didn't know why we'd been so thoroughly punished because of it.
I didn't know anything at all about Pallara.
The surrounding land was a mystery. Despite spotting a few faded road signs every now and then I couldn't have told you where we were. Or how far away we'd gotten. It was intimidating. After a while of walking I'd been almost convinced that the streets were identical only because we must have been going in circles. Then we'd stumble across the devastation of a particularly bad fire, or bomb-site, and I knew that was impossible.
The growing darkness made me scared to think any more. We couldn't be lost.
You can't be lost if you have nowhere to go.
When we couldn't go any further we approached the front door of a smaller house, one that appeared to have avoided the worst of the damage. In the dim, fading light we couldn't see much of the exterior, but the structure was still standing. It was easily the best option we had for shelter for as far as we could see.
We had to pull the door open together, a joint effort as we fought against decades of rust.
Any hopes we'd had of finding resources inside the building were quickly dashed when Gabby almost immediately tripped over the leg of a broken dining chair just inside the entryway.
In the near pitch black we could barely make out the state of the house. At some point it had been ransacked. Or worse. There was no piece of furniture that wasn't broken in some way. Plates and cups had been smashed against the walls, and lay shattered on the floor amongst the wreckage. Curtains had been ripped from their rods and thrown carelessly.
There was no doubt in my mind that it was the Xiets who had done this.
We didn't want to venture too far into the house, it hurt seeing the horrors of our history spread out before us. So I stayed in the entryway — struggling in the darkness to clear us a spot on the floor were we could sleep — while Gabby went through to the kitchen in a hopeless search for more food, or water.
She returned empty handed. The entire place had been searched, and emptied of anything useful.
It was unsettling to sleep on the floor of a house that had been empty of people for sixty something years. I felt like I was trapped in a room full of ghosts.
I lay awake for hours and found myself unable to do much more than think about how we could be bombed any second. Or found. Kidnapped. Tortured. Killed. There was a never-ending list of dangers.
The sounds from earlier echoed through my head in the darkness. The fire, the screaming and sirens. The sound of Gabby crying, and people we thought we knew stomping through our house, taking our stuff. The threats and the whispers.
Attacks had been just as likely in our old house — if not more so — yet it felt more likely out here, surrounded by the homes of the murdered. Even this long after they'd been evacuated the houses still reeked of fear and death. Or maybe that was us.
I tried not to think about it.
I wondered what Mum was doing. Had she figured out where the food was and how to cook herself a meal? Did she use all of her supplies already? I refused to think about whether or not the angry mob had come back.
There seemed to be a lot I didn't want to think about.
If I started down that track I might never gain the motivation to get back up and keep fighting. I wasn't really sure what I was fighting for anymore. My life? Gabby's life? Hope for a better future? That last one was laughable. But then maybe I was just hysterical by that point. It had been a long, tormenting day. Or maybe I was just losing it like my mum.
I tried not think about that either.
I refused to become like that. Lost in my own mind, even if it was better there — which it wasn't. It would get me nowhere. At least nowhere I wanted to go.
In the darkness of the near empty room I rolled over to face where I knew Gabby was sleeping. Or maybe she wasn't. Maybe like me she lay awake and promised herself that she'd keep her sister alive, if it was the only thing she managed to do. In the space of just one day I had lost everyone and everything except for Gabby. I wasn't going to lose her too. Even if it killed me to keep her alive. She was all I had now.
Once I had settled my resolve I forced myself to close my eyes and try to sleep. I would need all the rest I could get if I wanted to keep my sister safe.
When the rising sun woke me through the uncovered windows, I was relieved to be able to move again.
Our tiny little civilisation had apparently once been in the middle of a suburban area. And after almost three days of walking, the skeletons of those houses started to fade out. The terrain grew less consistent, rising and dropping like the earth had waves. Eventually, with dry mouths and greasy hair, we looked out over the patchwork of dry yellowed grass and hard cracked dirt, dusted over with a faint colouring of ash.
There was nothing to hide behind. No shelter. We would be in the open. The Xiets would be able to see us from miles away. It was possibly the most dangerous place I had ever stood.
And I had never once felt so free.
FIVE
One week.
It had been one week since Rosa had taken her sister and left.
It was no time at all.
It was a lifetime.
The days blurred together more than Rae was used to. The changing of the brightness outside, the unrelenting movement of the sun, became the only real indication that time was passing. Thoroughly preoccupied when he was training or working, Rae didn't have much time to contemplate the increased speed of his life
.
Rae had found himself thrown deep into the world of medicine. For every broken, frail bone he came across, there was someone struggling their way through a cold. A cold that would kill them if they weren't careful.
He'd spent three solid days reading up on the flu virus that had wiped out over half the population of Palla, only twenty years after they'd been rounded up and forced into such tight confinement. They'd almost been completely exterminated. The only thing that helped stop the blinding fear at every turn of the head for a sneeze or cough was the increase in medicine and vaccinations. Seeing the drastic change in population Tikorania took pity and agreed to provide these for the people of Palla, and had yet to revoke that right. Yet. Rae held a special bitterness that they'd waited until so many had died, and the flu itself had finally passed, to offer any sort of help.
For now it was the least stressful thing he'd had to do. Sticking a needle into someone's arm was child's play compared to the things he knew he'd have to do, to see, following the next bombing. The level of gore that would invoke made his stomach turn just thinking about it.
When he wasn't busy with his new calling as a medic, Rae found his thoughts drifting to the girl who'd fled from his life only one short week ago. He found that he missed her more than he'd expected, which was odd considering he'd been expecting to miss her a hell of a lot in the first place. Rae shook the thought from his head and seated himself on the ledge of the window.
He hadn't yet had a chance to check up on Jacki. The one time he'd had a decent break from his training during the day she'd refused to let him in. Had yelled at him to go away. But at least that meant she was alive. The same could not be said about Liam. At least not with any certainty.
Despite how many conversations he'd overheard and the uncharacteristic amount of gossiping he'd taken part in throughout his training, Rae had only heard a sentence or two about Rosa's brother. And that was generally put to an end when the speaker remembered who he was. There seemed to be two types of people wandering about in this city. Those who didn't trust him because of his connection to the Nyes, and those who felt overwhelming amounts of pity for the same reason. Either way it made Rae reluctant to bring them up in conversation.
Sitting up in this hotel room overlooking the city felt somehow wrong without Rosa. This was their place. This was her spot. In fact it was her idea to start coming here in the first place. When she wanted to get away from the stress she felt around her family. She had often found it too difficult to deal with her mother's fluttery mentality.
Rae looked out at the war-torn city he called home, as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, and silently wondered whether or not he should have gone with the girls.
No.
As much as he missed them he couldn't forget that he could help the people here. His medic training was going well. Sort of. He was good at following instructions, and had turned out to be a fast learner. Though there was a questionable amount of trust between him and everyone he had to deal with, no one would argue against him when he was helping them. He'd saved someone's life just a couple of days ago. Stopped them from bleeding out, and managed to prevent an infection from spreading up their arm. The feeling of pure goodness that flowed throughout his body at the look of thanks in the young girl's eyes solidified his decision to stay. This wasn't something he could just give up.
He could still watch over Rosa and Gabby's mum. Or at least he could try to. He could try and find out what was happening with their brother. He could still do some good here. At least until they decided he was dangerous.
He shuddered at the thought of being bombarded by these people, that he now sort of knew, when they had the intention of killing him. Yet his mind couldn't fully grasp the idea of leaving. This was the safest place if you weren't a Xiet. Or a suspected Xiet. Nowhere else had been left with any sort of structure. Or other humans. Or any defence, protection, safety. The Pallan army might have been pretty useless, but they were better than nothing. At the very least they kept people thinking they still had a chance.
That was sometimes more important than being away from danger. The hope that it would all end soon. That you could stop it even when all logic told you otherwise.
Gazing out through the window, Rae's eyes came to rest on what remained of the school. He couldn't help but wonder what had been going through the minds of each and every person who was responsible for the slaughter of so many innocent children. The group that instilled terror in the minds and hearts of every person Rae had ever had contact with.
The ones that murdered his parents and baby brother.
He would never get full revenge on that particular Xiet. They had exploded themselves along with fifteen other people who had been at the medic station in search of medicine.
Rae swallowed thickly. Why? What did they have to gain from this? People were just left scared and alone. Bleeding. Dead.
Rae couldn't help but picture his family as he last remembered them. Toby — his baby brother, only six months old — had been crying in his mother's arms. He remembered the fear swimming through his veins, thinking the Xiets would be drawn to them from the noise.
The baby was sick.
He knew that. But he still couldn't understand why it was crying so much.
Rae looked over to where his dad was sitting at the table. The man's fingers pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought. He wanted Toby to stop too.
"Neal we have to take him to the medics. He's burning up. He needs medicine. Please."
Worry shadowed over his face. He looked over at Rae, who had just barely turned five years old. His birthday was the previous week. He remembered it was a Monday, and his dad had let him stay home for the day. He got to help his mum with the dinner. The first time he'd been trusted to handle their precious rations.
Neal let out a breath and turned towards his wife.
"Alright. We'll go now. It's finally dark enough outside. It's less likely they'll attack when less people are out there, right?" His eyes fixed themselves on his older son.
"You're staying here though. We need someone to hold down the fort. And you can let us in when we get back." A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth.
"You can handle that for us, can't you son?" Rae stood eagerly from where he'd been seated cross-legged on the floor. There was a clatter as the battered toy car he'd been playing with dropped from his hand.
"Yes. I can be the best house guard ever."
Rae didn't know when he was ever going to stop playing guard to something.
He swallowed past a lump that had formed in his throat and tried to block out the memories. He'd waited by the front door in his pyjamas until the following morning when an officer, Rosa's dad, had come around to help him. To tell him his family wasn't coming back. Something no one should ever have to say to a five year old.
The Nyes practically raised him from that point, and now it was his turn to help Jacki. If only he could find a way to get her to let him inside.
Screams sounded in the distance and Rae shuddered. It was hard to tell whether or not they were screams of terror or pain. Or maybe just fright. There was that too. He sighed and looked down at the bag sitting by his left foot. It was filled with stretches of fabric that could be used for bandages, a small bottle of iodine tincture for sterilisation, various creams and ointments, and an assortment of other such things that he had managed to fit in. It was an emergency kit for when he was away from the few medic stations scattered throughout Palla.
Working in the field of medicine was not exactly what he'd been expecting. Rae liked helping people, he had no issue with that. He knew he was going to become a target for any local terrorists, and his house would soon become known as a medic station. He'd have to be careful where he went from now on. Where he slept. As soon as word got out to the Xiets, he would constantly be in danger. Hell, he already was just being alive.
But he had expected that. What he hadn't expected was for nobody to realise how m
uch he put on the line for them. How many times was he going to run to this apartment block in the pitch black of night hoping that no one could see him? How many times was he going to dig shrapnel out of someone's shoulder only to have their family mutter a bland 'thank you' — if even that — before hauling them out of the room. Being taken for granted was never something he'd considered.
In this world where no one had the means to take care of themselves and their own — at least not medically — and most medicine was a thing of the past, being a somewhat scarcely trained medic was a respected role in society. At least, that was what Rae had always thought.
Either way, he wasn't looking forward to the amount of work he would encounter upon returning to his own house. He'd taken to sleeping up here, in this abandoned hotel room, on the busted up couch that was missing half of its stuffing. It wasn't like he had that many options. Most of the furniture had been stolen over the years, long before he and Rosa had found the place.
Rosa had told him once that the only reason people would have left this particular couch was because they wanted the stuffing inside it more. That, and it was ugly. She'd had a love hate relationship with the flat, springy mess.
Rae missed Rosa. And the worry that his house was going to be exploded with him inside it wasn't helping his inability to sleep. So he escaped to the hotel, room 206. Weirdly enough he felt it was probably one of the safest places in the city. It had been cleared out for so long that even the Xiets probably knew no one ever went inside. Sometimes the places that were considered the most at risk became the safest.
Rae stared out the discoloured window and looked out to the furthest ends of his vision, hindered by the oncoming darkness. There were still houses out there. Though they were few and far between, often separated by blackened or yellowed, dead patches of ground, cluttered with charred and rotting wood. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened out there. Sometimes Rae couldn't understand why there were any of them left in this city. The Xiets had done a pretty good job of rounding them all up and sticking them in the most densely packed section of suburban buildings. They could have easily just bombed them all and been done with it.
Bright Cold Day Page 5