Together.
It was a nice idea.
My family couldn't be more apart.
Mum was home alone. Dad was dead. Liam was likely dead by now too, or at least held behind bars like some kind of animal. And Gabby and I had run away to a whole other world. I was hit suddenly with how much I missed my family.
I hadn't had the time or the energy to think about it before. Now that I was out of immediate danger all the thoughts I'd shoved to the recess of my mind pushed forward until they stood centre stage, glowing in the spotlight.
An anxious fluttery feeling spread from my stomach and up my throat.
"That doesn't sound very safe," I spat out finally, breaking the awkward silence that had grown amongst out little trio.
"Oh, no. It's very safe here. No one even knows that we exist." He winked at the end of his sentence, throwing me off a little. Was I supposed to find this amusing?
I looked back at the tree. I wanted this feeling to pass. I wanted to be okay and have my family. Why was that so hard?
"Are you okay?"
I nodded, sucking in a deep breath.
"Yeah. I could probably just use some air."
"We're underground for a reason. Going up there would expose us too much." I ignored the sympathy on his face and tried to suppress the sudden onset of claustrophobia. There didn't seem to be anything about this place that hadn't made my stomach tie itself up in knots.
We were almost back to the cafeteria, finally on the way to getting food, when we nearly trampled a short girl with a head of inky black curls.
"Sorry," the word flew out of my mouth before I even looked to see the face she was pulling. Or wasn't, depending on how you looked at it. She seemed to be frozen in a trance-like state.
"Isabel, what are you doing here? I though you were on duty with the kids this afternoon." As soon as Nathaniel said the name I recognised her.
Isabel Carter.
The girl who had allegedly taken her own life following her brother's death. The girl whose brother we'd been told was a Xiet sympathiser. I could hardly believe she was standing in front of us, even after being warned that she was here. For some reason I just hadn't been able to believe it.
But here she was.
Standing right in front of me.
Now that I knew who she was, I could connect the similarities between her and her brother. Jack had the same curls, though his were cropped much shorter. The same dark skin. The brown eyes that stared back at me were almost twins of his.
I could remember her brother quite well actually, despite the time that had passed since his death. He had been friends with Liam before his accusation hit public ears. It didn't take them long to decide on his punishment and have him killed. They didn't do it with any form of respect either. They wanted to make an example of the so called terrorist. They led him out to the side of the council building, where a crowd of us citizens stood watching.
I could still remember the jolt of his body as the bullet hit the side of his head.
The way his blood leaked from the hole as he crumpled to the ground in a defeated heap.
It hadn't been the first time I'd seen death, but it had been the first time it seemed justified. He was a terrorist. At least he was in my mind. Back then. Now I was having my doubts.
They'd left his blood. Let it stain the wall and ground. Let it seep into the dry concrete until the rain came and washed most of it away. There was still a dark hue of discolouration.
No one had been surprised when we'd been told that Isabel had ended her life. Who could see something like that happen to a family member, even one who had turned out to be evil, and not be left broken? Yet there she was.
At the time I saw nothing wrong with his punishment. I didn't think Isabel should have been there and seen it, but I thought he deserved what he got. He was a Xiet and wanted to hurt us.
Now I had to wonder if he was just another Liam.
Guilty until proven innocent in a world where the guilty were killed on sight.
Or Isabel could have been a Xiet too. I couldn't yet rule out the possibility.
"I have the afternoon off," she muttered, sounding hesitant.
I'd spent a lot of time with her when we were younger. She was only a year younger than me, and her brother had been the only family she'd had left since she was three. So when we were still little she'd come over almost every time Jack had, which had been quite often. That had stopped being so regular as we both got older, and I started spending more time out with Rae instead of holed up at home. I wondered if she remembered that?
All she could probably remember was my family standing alongside the rest of the city and accusing her brother. Watching him die.
I had to wonder if Liam had agreed with what had happened. He'd never talked about it. Maybe he'd found it too painful to revisit.
"We're looking for my parents," Nathaniel continued, interrupting my thoughts. "Do you have any idea where they might be?"
"Check their office. I saw them take someone in there earlier. The public one."
And after a short 'thank you' we continued on our path, with me staring back the way we'd come. I wanted another chance to talk to Isabel.
"Are you okay?" Gabby asked, stepping up beside me. I nodded still hung up on her words.
Public office? Was that as opposed to a private one? Did these people have enough space for that?
We didn't get much further before we were cut off by a middle aged woman with flaming red hair. She almost looked like her head was on fire.
"Hey Mum. This is—"
"Gabrielle and Rosa Nye. Yes, I was wondering where they'd got to." I looked into her eyes hoping to find some shimmer of humanity.
This was the leader. Or at least, I assumed so.
"My name is Trisha Alderman. I am the co-leader of this operation. My partner, and husband, will meet with you at a later date." Co-leader? Later date? That hadn't been what I'd expected to hear.
"I thought he was going to be a part of the decision. You said so yourself. It's not only up to you to pick and choose who we save." I looked over at Nathaniel, confused.
Pick and choose? What the hell was this? You don't choose who to save. You save everyone you can. What was it with these people?
"Gabrielle, I believe you are the older sister. How old are you my dear?" I couldn't figure out if she was genuinely trying to be nice or if she was trying to trick us in some way.
"I'm nineteen Mrs. Alderman. My sister Rosa is seventeen." After giving us a quick glance over Trisha turned towards her son. The only similarity between the two was their stark paleness. He must take after his dad.
"I will have a meeting with you and your father in twenty minutes. That should be enough time for you to get these two girls to their temporary living quarters and come to our private office." She turned and left before anyone had a chance to come up with a response.
Temporary living quarters? Did that mean we couldn't stay? Was that final already? Or was it just a trial? As Nathaniel lead us through the interweaving pathways in the treatment facility, I couldn't help but ache for answers.
Eventually we reached a small room that must have been some kind of supply room before the conversion. It could barely fit the double mattress that rested on the floor unceremoniously, sticking out at a slight angle. But Gabby and I were used to sharing space like this. I probably would have found it harder to adapt if we were given separate rooms.
"This is where you two will be sleeping. At least until we can find somewhere a little more permanent. We have to rearrange some stuff first. And that's if you two get to stay." I was still very confused about the whole situation. It seemed so surreal that we'd been brought here. And then to be told we may have to leave. After all of this.
Just twenty four hours ago I was convinced my sister was dead in front of me. Now we'd been taken to relative safety. In a place that was entirely too full of people. Trisha definitely didn't like us, I could tell already,
and I wasn't sure why. I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that we weren't allowed stay.
And I was still hungry, having been denied that last trip to the cafeteria. And thirsty. Thankfully, my water bottle was still mostly full.
But I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened over the last two days. I couldn't wrap my head around what I'd learnt about the world.
Still alive, just not kicking. Not helping us.
When I managed to drag myself out of my thoughts Nathaniel had already left and Gabby was seated on the edge of the mattress, shoes tossed on the ground, as she gently massaged her feet.
✽✽✽
I couldn't sleep.
Nathaniel had come back to collect us about half an hour after he'd left. We'd been fed and watered and sent back to bed all within a few hours.
Apparently we could stay. At least on a temporary basis. We had to prove ourselves worthy before we were upgraded to permanent residency. Whatever that was supposed to mean. They didn't seen too worried at the idea of tossing us out to survive on our own. That, or they had a different plan, should things not work out.
Despite my full belly, and having Gabby asleep next to me, I found myself worried. In the space of a few weeks I'd lost everything except Gabby. And now I was supposed to place her safety in the hands of some random military people?
I didn't think so.
"I can feel you worrying." I jolted, caught unaware that she'd even been awake, let alone paying attention to me.
"You know I really hate this," she continued. "I'm your big sister. You don't have to worry about me. I'm supposed to take care of you." The image of her unconscious body flew through my mind. The sound of her fragile figure crashing into the ground. The way she'd enfolded me in her arms when we were in the van. The feel of her hand in mine, reassuring me, as we walked through this strange place.
"I know that," I replied, not believing my own words.
I didn't think either of us had the upper hand here. I rolled over to face her and was met with a steady gaze.
"I don't think you do."
TEN
Slowly but surely Gabby and I managed to settle into a routine. I still wasn't sure how I felt about this place, but it was the only option we had.
We'd eat breakfast together, often sitting with either Nathaniel or Isabel. I'd been worried that things would be awkward around her, but it turned out she was happy to see a familiar face. And it didn't hurt that she was very sympathetic to our situation. I hadn't expected to find a friend here.
I'd also been surprised to find that Nathaniel continued to hang around us. I'd thought that after that first day, when we had still been lost to the very idea of society, that he'd have left us. Gone back to whatever else it was he did with his time. Gone back to his normal friends. Apparently he was important here. He was supposed to take over as the leader of the operation when his parents grew too old and had to retire.
Operation Take Flight — named as an inspirational reminder of what they intended to help us do, which I couldn't help but scoff at — turned out to be an unofficial and highly illegal movement. Naturally there weren't a lot of opportunities to enlist new members and it had largely become a family thing. It had been Nathaniel's grandfather who'd started the organisation in his middle age. He'd brought his daughter and wife with him on what was referred to as a 'mad man's attempt at heroism'. Misguided and highly likely to fail.
However, OTF continued to grow with the sympathy of other people, and gradually became stronger. Seeing that those who fought on our behalf hadn't been murdered yet proved to be influential when it came to recruiting.
At least that was what I'd been told.
I wasn't sure what I could trust from this group. There was so much they wouldn't tell us. We weren't even allowed to know where they came from in case word got out. They were breaking a great number of laws by being out here and interfering. So they wrapped themselves up in secrets and privacy, even around us. People who had nowhere else to go. No one to tell even if we wanted to.
All this secrecy left a bad taste in my mouth.
The longer Gabby and I were there, the more time I'd ended up spending with both Isabel and Nathaniel, an odd combination of people. It was going to take a while to get used to seeing a girl whom I'd thought was dead, sitting next to the boy who was next in line to lead the only operation in place to save all of Palla. It sounded like the start of a bad joke.
After eating our breakfasts — which consisted of some kind of oat mixture, with milk and a glass of juice — we'd fill up our water bottles and head our separate ways. Neither Gabby nor I were ever very excited about this part, but we didn't have a choice. Either we folded to the system or we couldn't stay. And we'd already learnt the hard way that we couldn't make it on our own.
I still had nightmares about the heat and the helplessness.
So Gabby would go off to her training in the maintenance and care of the armoury. An odd job to give someone so new to the establishment, but I had to guess it wasn't the most appealing of duties. She'd clean and fix any weapons brought back from various missions. Often she'd come back at the end of the day with grease stains on her fingers. But Gabby never complained.
She loved the work, and found herself becoming friends with the other workers, and some of the soldiers who frequented the armoury. I'd begun to think that one of them had developed a thing for my sister. Not that she ever wanted to hear my theories.
One solid advantage to this arrangement was that she learnt a great deal about their weapons, and was practically being trained in how to use almost every weapon they had access to. This was one of the few things they'd done that I'd liked. I didn't know their motives, but it was a definite plus for us.
I, on the other hand, was going to school. Apparently my education had been more lacking than I'd originally thought. My literacy was okay, thanks to all the reading I'd done in my spare time, and my basic maths skills were passable. Just barely. But that was the extent of my abilities. They started me at the beginning of their teaching program and moved me up, class by class, as I proved my abilities. It was a slow process and it made me feel kind of stupid.
Thankfully there was a such a limited number of kids who lived on site that I never had to share classes with anyone. Christmas had come and gone as Gabby and I had recovered from the worst of our symptoms, so the influx of children were irrelevant to my lessons — though I was sad to see the decorations go. I was usually taught individually by one of the five teachers on the compound. It allowed them the freedom to switch out the difficulty of my work if it seemed something was far too easy, or far too hard, without disrupting anyone elses education.
Sometimes Isabel would come by and help me. As a teacher she actually taught some of my maths lessons, and was a great tutor. She had always been bright so I wasn't surprised to learn that she'd excelled at her lessons here, and wanted to continue in the world of education. The look in her eyes as she went over different materials was something I could only try to emulate, and often failed at.
Yet despite my overwhelming sense of stupidity, school wasn't horrific. And we were doing okay.
But more than anything I'd wanted to help my people.
Nathaniel kept telling me that I wouldn't be allowed to help with anything if I didn't have a decent education. But every time I looked around me at the people who were sent out on dozens of missions, I wasn't so sure I believed him. But I was in no position to argue.
It turned out that these people often planned controlled missions that consisted of infiltrating my home city in an attempt to save people.
It sounded more like abduction to me.
But that was how they'd saved Isabel, and how they'd intended to save my sister and I before we'd run away. So it was hardly something I could argue against.
They'd told us that they'd prepare the rescued for life in the 'normal world', and eventually, when they felt they were ready, they'd send them out with another m
ember of the establishment to help them habilitate. To the best of my knowledge this had never successfully happened, though it remained the goal. People were willing to put up with a lot if there was a promise of moving out into the 'real' world.
As if our world wasn't real.
As if we were pets that needed to be trained.
But I liked the idea of getting people out of Palla. That place was so overrun by death that it was an everyday expectancy. Anything had to be better than being stuck there.
There would be some, I was informed, who would never be mentally stable enough to live in the outside world. We'd been through too much to stay calm. Isabel was apparently a good example of this. She was too traumatised and angry after Jack's execution that she couldn't stand the thought of going near the people who could have helped but didn't.
Or at least that's what I was told.
She seemed fine to me.
Either way, after she began teaching she decided she never wanted to leave the kids here anyway. There were so few and she did her best to stop them from feeling isolated. According to her one of the best cures for a broken soul was the honest smile of a child. I wasn't sure that would work for me.
She taught not only the basic English, maths, and science that she was denied as a child, but the truth of what goes on in our dark, dark world, though she left out the gory details. She taught them how to care for others, those less fortunate. She taught them to want to help.
She taught them empathy.
I loved going to the classes she taught the most. She never failed to incorporate lessons about the way life worked here. I honestly didn't know how I'd have coped if she hadn't been there, walking me through every step of the way. Adjusting to life in OTF was harder than I'd originally anticipated.
Isabel had told me about the great things being done to help our people. She helped me to understand that the violent means resulted in a greater good than could otherwise be managed.
Bright Cold Day Page 9