“What are you doing?”
“Following him,” she replied.
“What? Why?” I asked. “We didn’t talk about this. Stalking someone is what feels right to you?”
“Yep.”
“Jesus,” I said, rolling my eyes as I put my seat belt back on while she pulled into traffic. She kept a few car lengths behind the Mercedes, following him for several minutes. “Well, what are you going to do next?”
“Sage, I don’t know,” she said, clearly growing annoyed. “It depends where he goes.”
“Where he goes,” I nodded. Of course. “Have you considered just walking up to him and asking him if he knows my mother?”
“No,” she said. “Do you expect him to tell the truth?”
“Well…yeah. Why not?”
“You don’t watch much TV, do you, love?” she asked, following the Mercedes as it pulled into the parking lot of a small hotel. “A hotel, interesting…”
“I bet that’s not even him,” I said.
“It is, but I’m going to prove it to you,” she said, pulling into a parking space a few spots away from the man’s car.
“How are you going to do that?”
She turned off the engine and we watched as the man walked inside the hotel.
“Stay here,” she said. “I might be a while. I’ll text you.”
“Corinne, I don’t think —.”
My sentence was cut off by the slamming of her car door.
“Fuck,” I muttered, watching her go in after him. “This is a really bad idea.”
I contemplated going in but I had no idea what her plan was. She was just flying by the seat of her pants and it was the absolute opposite of how I handled things. It took me exactly one minute to realize I didn’t actually have to listen to her.
“Dammit,” I said, grabbing the keys and my purse and locking the car up before going inside after her. I walked through the revolving doors, pausing a moment to get my bearings. The front desk was directly in front of me, with a bank of elevators to the right of it. To my right was a hotel lounge and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Corinne at the bar sitting next to the man we were following.
“Damn, you work fast,” I said under my breath, shaking my head. I took a seat at the other end of the bar far away from them, but close enough to hear what was going on.
“Thanks,” Corinne said, flashing the man a flirty smile. “I’m Corinne. What’s your name?”
“You can call me Leo,” he said.
Corinne’s eyes lit up. “Oh, like Leo DiCaprio?”
The man laughed and nodded. “Sure, like that.” His eyes raked over her body and his smile widened. He was clearly interested.
“So, what do you do, Leo?”
“I’m a psychologist,” he replied, his eyes glued to her chest.
She nodded, smiling even bigger.
“That must be fascinating,” she said, pushing her breasts out. I rolled my eyes, even more certain this was a bad idea.
“At times,” he nodded.
“I bet,” she said, taking a drink of the martini she’d ordered. Leo sipped on a scotch, his eyes never leaving his unexpected companion.
I wasn’t sure what Corinne expected from this situation, though. We’d figured out his name was Leo and he was a therapist, which we already knew. But he was hardly going to give a list of his patient’s names to a stranger at a bar. How much farther could we go here?
“So, are you from here?” Corinne asked.
“No, back East,” he replied vaguely.
“Oh, me too,” she said, lying through her teeth. “Do you miss it?”
“Sometimes,” he replied, pausing thoughtfully. “Life is better out here though. Although the winters are harsh.”
“I agree,” Corinne said, taking another sip of her drink.
“Yeah, not enough sunshine,” he replied.
“Definitely not enough sunshine,” she agreed again. My heart raced. I had no idea where this was going or really what Corinne thought flirting with this guy was going to accomplish.
He finished his scotch after a moment and before Corinne could continue with the small talk, he stood up and threw some cash on the bar.
“This is a great bar. I like to stop here on the way home. Thanks, Larry!” He waved at the bartender and nodded at Corinne. “It’s been lovely talking to you, Corinne, but I need to get home now. Have a nice night.”
“You too, Leo,” she said, watching him walk out.
After she was sure he was gone, she got up and walked over to me. “Well, now we know that’s Leo.”
“Now what?” I said. “He seemed perfectly fine. He didn’t even hit on you.”
“He did not,” she said, wrinkling his nose. “Maybe he’s gay.”
“Or, maybe he’s not a pervert.”
She sat down and ordered another drink and Larry the bartender promptly brought it over. “Probably gay.”
I laughed, shaking my head, motioning to her ample cleavage. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Hey, I have an idea,” she said, pulling her phone out of her purse.
“Another one? Should I be afraid?” I asked, teasingly.
“Leo has online scheduling. I’m making you an appointment.”
“What?” I asked. “I don’t need a therapist.”
“We need to get close to him,” she insisted.
“Why, Corinne?” I questioned, cringing as she typed my name into his appointment scheduler. “I’m sure Mom just went there to talk about Maddy. She mentioned to me many times she was having trouble with her. Usual teenager stuff.”
“Well, you never know,” she said, her phone making a distinctive dinging sound. “There! You’re scheduled for tomorrow at 1 p.m.!”
“Dammit.”
“Just be yourself,” she said. “Pretend it’s real.”
“So go in there and talk about my existential dread, the overwhelming amount of work I’m behind on, and my pushy best friend?”
“Something like that,” she said. “But, really, you want to get him to talk about himself. Who knows what will come up? Even better, just be direct with him. Tell him who you are and ask about your mom.”
“Yeah, maybe that’s better than playing games.”
“Of course it is,” she said. “And if things get weird, or we need help, we’ll tell the Gods. Speaking of which, when’s the last time you had a taste of your man?”
“He’s not my man,” I insisted. “And a taste…really, Corinne?”
“What do you want me to call it? Fucking? Banging? Making out? Is making out prudish enough for you? God, sometimes I think you should have been a nun, Sage. But then you bring home a stud like Colt and make me question everything I thought I knew.”
“See, not everyone is an open book!”
“Exactly my point. You don’t know what kind of stuff your mom was into. Maybe Leo does.”
“Fine,” I sighed, taking a drink of the whiskey I’d ordered. The burn felt good. It woke up something inside of me, something I’d had to turn off in order to get through these last few days. If I let myself feel something, that meant I had to feel everything. And if I felt everything…then I had to admit how much I yearned to feel Colt’s hands on me again.
I’d have to admit how much I missed his kiss.
I’d have to admit how much I couldn’t stop thinking about him, how he was always lingering in the back of my mind, his eyes, his smile, the heat pouring from his huge frame, the way his arms wrapped around me like the warmest, safest blanket ever.
And admitting that was too much.
All of this was too much and if I’m honest, what I would be admitting is that I’m barely hanging on by a thread and while I know I’m supposed to be the strong and capable big sister, in charge and calm and in control, what I really want is to melt into a puddle in Colt’s arms and have a good, long cry.
None of that is possible.
So, instead of admitting anything at
all, I just go along with Corinne’s plan because I don’t know what the hell else to do.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
MADDY
I waited until Sage and Corinne were gone before I threw a few snacks in a backpack and pulled on my coat. I unlocked the window in my room, opening it just a crack. Then, I pulled out my phone and texted Ethan.
“On my way. Ten minutes.” I texted.
"Can’t wait!” he replied.
His reply sent flutters through my stomach. We were meeting in our usual spot — The Astoria Column.
The Lyft I ordered an hour ago was outside waiting for me when I locked the front door and in minutes I was getting out of the car, surrounded by the silence of the park.
The Column is the main tourist attraction in Astoria. It overlooks the mouth of the Columbia River. Built in 1926, it has an observation deck at the top, although you have to climb the 164 excruciating steps of the spiral staircase inside the Column to get there. By the time you reach the top, you’re dizzy and lightheaded, but the view truly is incredible.
On the outside of the column, there’s a mural that highlights the history of Oregon. It’s a fun place to go and usually packed with tourists who love to send the little toy balsawood airplanes they sell in the gift shop soaring through the air from the top.
But at night, it’s deserted, bathed in purple light and one of the most beautiful spots in town. Perched atop Coxcomb Hill, it towers over the city, a quiet glowing monument in the darkness of the coastal range.
Ethan waves at me from the base of the Column and I walk over, my heart racing. He’s bundled up in a heavy parka, a black beanie pulled over his light brown hair. He has a blanket rolled up under one arm.
In the low overhead lights of the park, his green eyes look like sparkling emeralds. My breath catches in my throat as I smile up at him.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” I say. He takes my hand and we start walking, the silence blanketing us in an eerie quiet that makes me almost afraid to talk. His hand is warm in mine and I wonder if my palm is sweating. I lick my lips, tasting the cherry lip balm I’d smeared on earlier. Ethan and I only came here for one reason and my lips needed to be in perfect shape.
Hand in hand, we strolled to our spot. A few yards away from the tree line of the park, it was really just our favorite tree, secluded from the rest of the park and any other night visitors that may arrive.
Ethan spread the blanket out on the ground and we sat down on it. I flashed him a tentative smile.
“How are you holding up?” he asked. He made a point to ask me that every time we saw each other now. Since Mom went missing, he’d been extremely caring and concerned. It was touching, and only made me like him more. I knew if Mom had taken the time to meet him and get to know him, she would have liked him too. The thought pierces my heart and I feel tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away. This is not the time to think about her. This is not the time to cry.
“I’m doing good,” I said. He reached over, cradling my cheek in his warm hand and I smiled bigger.
“I’m so glad to hear that,” he whispered.
“I’m glad we’re here,” I said. “I needed to get away.”
“Are things weird at your house?” he asked, his voice low and gentle.
“Kind of,” I said. “I told you about the bikers my sister decided to let have run of the place, so there’s that. And tonight, Maddy and Corinne are up to something shady, but I haven’t figured out what yet. They were whispering and wouldn’t tell me exactly where they were going tonight. So, I can’t stay out long. Sage would be so pissed if she knew I wasn’t locked up safely at home.”
“I don’t want you to get in trouble, Maddy,” he said. “And I could have picked you up.”
“We have a really nosy neighbor,” I said. “If he tells Sage I left, it’ll be a lot easier to explain if I was in a cab.”
“Okay,” he said. “Whatever you think is best. I can give you a ride home, though. I could drop you off a block away from your house or something.”
“Okay, I think that would work,” I said, a wave of shyness washing over me. Ethan was cute, but he was even more adorable here whispering in the dark with me under this huge pine tree that towered over us. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world that those gorgeous eyes were focused on me.
“I know things have been hard for you lately, Maddy,” he said. “I hope you know you can talk to me anytime.”
“I know, Ethan,” I replied. “I appreciate it.”
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you — do you want to go to the Spring dance with me?”
My heart soared at his question. Of course, I wanted to go to the Spring dance with him!
“Of course!” I said, my words rushing out. “I just have to ask my Mom first —.”
I stopped short, my eyes widening as it hit me that she was gone once more.
“I mean…,” I hesitated, shaking my head. “I mean, yeah, of course.”
“Cool,” he said, reaching for my hand and wrapping it up in his own. “That makes me happy.”
“Me, too,” I whispered, trying again not to cry. I was doing good until he looked at me again, those sweet eyes full of concern, and then he sent me over the edge by pulling me into his arms and wrapping them around me as he pulled me close.
“I really like you, Maddy,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry about your Mom.”
The tears fell like a waterfall, and I knew I couldn’t control them. He let me cry, silently holding me and caressing my hair. I leaned into him, letting him carry the weight I’d been hauling around for weeks. Once the tears subsided, I looked up at him apologetically.
“Don’t you dare!” he insisted.
“What?” I asked.
“Don’t apologize for crying.”
I looked at him, my heart melting at his absolute sweetness.
“Okay,” I said. He smiled at me, then bent his head, his lips gently pressing against mine in the softest kiss I’d ever imagined. I sighed, melting into him again, his mouth on mine sending me straight to heaven.
He kissed me softly, again and again, until he began to gently push me backwards, until I was lying on the blanket on my back and he leaned over me, his lips never leaving mine as he moved his body over mine. His lips pushed mine apart and his tongue slid between my lips, sending a jolt of electricity straight through my belly.
My breathing stopped as I let him kiss me deeply, and I forced myself to unfreeze my limbs and soften my body, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer to me.
The snap of a twig behind us jolted us apart.
Eyes wide, our heads snapped in the direction of the sound, but in the darkness it was impossible to see that far.
“Who’s there?” Ethan called out, wrapping a protective arm around my shoulders.
My skin crawled as I realized someone may have been watching us.
“Maybe we should go,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he replied, nodding firmly. We stood up, gathered the blanket and the rest of our things and walked hand in hand back to his car. I thought I was the only one who was spooked, but I could feel Ethan’s pulse in my palm and his heart was beating as fast as mine was.
“Do you really think someone was there?” I asked, once we were locked in his car and driving away.
“I’m not sure,” he said. “But I didn’t feel like sticking around to find out either.”
I sat back in the seat, trying to slow my breathing, and trying not to beat myself up for sneaking out of the house in the first place. A pang of guilt hit me. The last thing Sage needed was for something to happen to me, too. She had a lot to deal with, she didn’t need me adding to it.
“When’s the dance?” I asked Ethan.
He glanced over at me and flashed me a smile. “March thirtieth.”
I nodded, approvingly. Plenty of time for us to find Mom so I could ask her permission.
Plenty of time.
CHAPTER TH
IRTY-THREE
FINN
I knew Frannie would want me to do it.
Keep an eye on the girls for her, that is. Once I saw Sage and Corinne take off, I figured there wouldn’t be much more activity for the night, but then I saw Maddy leave, and I knew something wasn’t right.
It was too late for her to be leaving on her own. Frannie would never approve. I jumped in my car and followed her, parking a ways down the hill once I saw she was going to the Astoria Column. I got out of the car and kept a safe distance away, but close enough that I could keep an eye on her.
Once I saw she was with a boy, I couldn’t help but be disappointed. Frannie should have taught her daughter’s better. First, Sage invites an entire gang of men into the house and now look at this — Maddy’s sneaking off to meet some punk.
Once I saw them start kissing, my disappointment turned to fury. This was no way for young girls to be behaving.
And then, when the young man actually laid Maddy down on the blanket and started kissing her with such unadulterated vigor, well it was just too much.
I didn’t mean to make a sound, but if it got them to tear themselves apart, then so be it. They didn’t need to be out here in the middle of the night alone.
What was becoming of our youth today? I never would have acted like that at her age. Although, in the back of my mind, there was a little flash of what Frannie looked like in high school. She turned heads, that was for sure.
Of course, she’d never given me a second glance back then.
She didn’t know what she was missing.
She still doesn’t.
But if she did back then, I could see us doing the same thing, if I’m honest. I’d have given anything to lay Frannie down under a blanket of stars.
Someday, though, she might just figure it out. Someday, she might just give me a chance. If she knew who I really was, if she ever looked at me with clear eyes, she’d see that I’m a good man.
She’d see who I was then.
And who I am now.
She’d see that no matter who I used to be, or even who I am now, I’ve always loved her the same.
CHASING SUNSHINE: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK THIRTEEN) Page 12