Sighing, she wandered across the open loft to their sitting area. She turned on the gas fireplace and sank into the couch. Cleo settled on her lap. In quiet solace, Cleo and Jill watched the night. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there when she heard a sound. Looking up, she saw Mike extend a mug of hot chocolate in her direction.
“Thanks,” she said. Using her index finger, she took some whipped cream from the top. “This is exactly what I wanted.”
Nodding, Mike sat down next to her with his own mug of hot chocolate.
“You okay?” Mike asked.
“Not really. You?”
“I’ve been worse,” Mike shrugged.
They sat in silence drinking their hot chocolate.
“Worried about you,” Mike said.
“Why?”
“It’s too much for one person. Our family crap. Mama’s stuff. Steve and Candy. Now Sandy…” Mike shook his head. “Did her mother really disown her?”
“Sandy betrayed her mother because her father raped her when she was two years old,” Jill spit out the venomous words. “I…”
Jill broke down. In Mike’s strong silent presence, Jill cried for her friend. She cried for the state of the world where a good man would be in jail and an evil one tucked away in a motel somewhere.
After a while, she cried for herself.
~~~~~~~~
Thursday morning — 3:45 A.M.
Rose Hospital
Awake or asleep, Sandy’s eyes seeped tears. Her mother’s words tore her soul to pieces. She felt a vibrating desperate pain through her whole body. Nothing stemmed the flow of her tears. Nothing comforted her. Sandy’s entire being longed for relief from her intolerable pain.
Her physical injuries were not minor. Her kidneys, spleen and liver were bruised. She had stress fractures on three of her ribs and one vertebrae. When she had collapsed, she’d hit her head causing a slight fracture where the kid had hit her with his backpack. They were watching her brain for signs of swelling. They would decide in the morning if she needed brain surgery, organ surgery or whatever the hell else.
The only good news was that the baby’s heartbeat was strong and healthy. When she looked to her right, she could see the blue light blip with his heartbeat. She was sure the baby was a strong and wonderful boy. Her baby was a tiny bright light in this nightmare.
Heather and Tanesha kept her entertained through the move to a private room. But eventually, they had to leave. Tanesha had to go to her new job at Denver Heath and Heather needed to get home to Blane. When they left, and Sandy could be more honest, the pain returned in waves. Jill’s kind words and warm companionship couldn’t soothe her. Jill thought Aden would do the trick. She and Jill had waited for Aden but Seth arrived with the news. Aden was being held over night.
She’d lost her father; she’d lost her mother; Aden was out of reach.
Even with Jill and Seth there, she felt very alone. When Seth had insisted Jill go home, Sandy agreed to try to sleep. She fell asleep and the tears flowed from unguarded eyes. After an hour or so, she woke up with a gasp.
“Aden?” Sandy whispered.
“Just me, Sandy,” Seth said. He leaned forward from the chair by her bed. “Aden’s downtown.”
“Oh. Right.” Sandy looked right to see the baby’s beating heart. “He’s still alive.”
“He?”
“I think he’s a boy,” Sandy said.
“I think she’s a girl,” Seth laughed.
He came to sit beside her bed. Reaching over her, he held a tissue box for Sandy. She wiped her tears and blew her nose. The tears continued to seep.
“You don’t seem okay,” Seth said. “Want me to get the nurse?”
Sandy shook her head. She groaned at the pain caused by the simple action.
“Your mother came to visit you?”
“In the ER,” Sandy said. “She said horrible things. Disowned me.”
“I was afraid of that,” Seth said.
“How did you know?”
“Your Dad… He… Well, I loved your Dad, but there were a few things we disagreed on,” Seth said. “One was your mother.”
“What do you mean?”
“He believed your mother was… well, like you, but not as strong. She let things happen to you because they were done to her. He felt like she was broken in some way. He forgave her for the way she allowed you to be treated.”
Sandy watched both thought and emotion move across Seth’s face. He sighed.
“We argued about it,” Seth said. “I felt your mother should know, must know, from the beginning. We should confront her, make her aware of what she’d done. But your Dad… He felt she would fall apart or worse, abandon you. I guess he was right.”
“She never loved me,” Sandy said.
“I think she loves you. I guess I have to believe she loves you… in her own way,” Seth said. “You know she’s not my favorite person.”
“She disowned me. She…”
Sandy’s body flooded with pain and emotion. Tears streamed down from her swollen red eyes. Seth took her hand.
“You’ll get through this,” Seth said. “Norsen will get out of jail. You’ll get well and have your daughter…”
“Son.”
They smiled at each other.
“There’s no way for you to understand a woman like your mother. God knows I don’t understand her,” Seth said. “But you can love her, if you want.”
“Maybe tomorrow. Today, I hurt too much,” Sandy said.
“I understand.” Seth touched her face. “And I’m sorry.”
“What’s going to happen to Aden?” Hoping to wipe the overwhelm from Seth’s face, Sandy changed the subject.
“He’ll get out in the morning,” Seth said. “Then there’ll be a hearing or maybe a trial. He and his lawyer have already talked to the DA. The DA wants to get rid of him without a lot of fuss. They’re dealing with a press nightmare over your father. The only reason they kept Aden overnight was to avoid the crowd waiting for him. The DA’s hoping to quietly release him in the morning. They want to focus on your father, not Aden.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure, Sandy,” Seth said. “We’ll have to wait and see.”
“But…”
“Aden broke the law, Sandy. He knows that. He has to pay for what he did. The only question now is how much he will pay for it.”
“And my father?”
“He’s with the Feds,” Seth said. “The Feds will be done clearing out his house tomorrow or the next day, then we’ll get him back.”
“What’s going to happen to him?” Sandy asked.
“Nothing nice,” Seth said.
“Good.” Sandy moved her head in a slight nod.
They sat in silence for a while.
“Listen, I know you’re…” Seth said. At the same time Sandy said, “You want to watch…”
“I’d rather talk to you,” Seth said. “I know it’s weird, feels weird to say, but I have something to say.”
“Okay.”
“No one deserves a mother or a father like yours. No one. And you…” Seth’s face flushed red with emotion. He shook his head. “I hope they rot in hell for what they’ve done.”
“Dad used to say that about my father.”
“Yeah, he did,” Seth said. “Now let me finish.”
“Okay.”
“You’re loved by so many people, Sandy. You’re the only family I have besides my ex-wives and their angry children. Jill loves you. Aden’s not perfect but I think he really cares for you. I’ve seen you with his kids and they adore you. Your funny friends… the girls? What are their names?”
“Tanesha and Heather?”
“Right, I think of them as the clowns.”
“Clowns?”
“They’re funny,” Seth said. “They would do anything for you. All of your clients, your old high school friends, everyone loves Sandy.”
“They don’t really know me. They don’t kn
ow about all of this…”
“I do! Jill and the clowns do! And we love you anyway.”
Sandy shrugged.
“These people? They are your family now. You didn’t have a choice to have these horrible parents, but you have a choice now. You won’t raise your daughter…”
“Son.”
“Daughter like you were raised. And you’ll have more kids, more friends, and the big happy life you deserve. I know it’s been tough but you’re surrounded by so much love, so many people adore you. They’re your family of choice.”
“Family of choice?”
“Like me,” Seth said. “You’re not my biological daughter, but I wouldn’t love you any more if you were.”
Sandy’s eyes welled up.
“You’re crying again! What did I say?” Seth exclaimed.
“You’re very sweet,” Sandy said. “I’ll remember that – family of choice.”
“Family of choice.”
“I’m honored you chose me.”
Seth’s eyes welled up. Before he could swat it away, a single tear ran down his weathered face. He gave Sandy a light hug.
“Go to sleep now,” Seth said.
With Seth by her side, Sandy fell into a deep sleep.
~~~~~~~~
Thursday morning — 8:30 A.M.
Rose Hospital
“Who are you?” Sandy asked the woman sitting next to her bed.
She’d returned from a CAT scan to find a woman in her room.
“My name is Anjelika Katherine,” the woman smiled. “I’ve had a number of surnames. My last one was Roper. You may call me Anjelika.”
“Jill’s mom? But…”
“I had my face rearranged so I could hide for all those years,” Anjelika smiled. “I used to look very much like Jillian.”
“You have the same eyes,” Sandy said. “It’s weird to see Jill’s eyes on your face. Your face is beautiful…”
“Just different from Jillian’s,” Anjelika laughed.
“Why are you here?” Sandy asked.
“I understand the role of mother is currently open in your life,” Anjelika said. “I thought I might apply.”
Sandy smiled.
“What?” Anjelika asked.
“You’re Jill’s mother all right,” Sandy said. “I don’t know that I need a mother.”
“More than ever before, Sandra, you need a mother,” Anjelika said. “People want to get a look at the girl who caused all this ruckus. Everyone wants a peek at the girl who was so horribly abused. It’s a sick fascination that sends the insects out to get photographs.”
“Oh,” Sandy said. “Wow.”
“Wow is right,” Anjelika said. “I have some experience with this kind of thing. I’m here to help. Jillian is setting up a place for you to stay.”
“I really want to go home,” Sandy said.
“You won’t be able to go home for a while,” Anjelika said. “I’m sorry. Your apartment already has press waiting for you. Even at your work… You’re hot news, international news.”
“How do you know all of this?” Sandy felt like she might vomit.
“My husband has connections with the international group that is pursuing this case,” Anjelika said. “They need your help and need you to be safe. I’d like you to be happy even, so I volunteered to come.”
“You don’t even know me!” Sandy’s face reflected her distaste for handouts.
“But I do,” Anjelika gave Sandy a sweet smile. “I’ve read Jillian’s journals for… sixteen years? You are important to Jillian. She wrote about you, your life and everything that’s happened to you. I know all about it.”
“Oh,” Sandy blushed. “I guess you know I’m a whore, too.”
“I know many things, Sandra. You are not a whore. As women, we do what we can to survive. You were forced to be a woman even as a child. That’s not a choice. That’s cruelty of the worst form.” Anjelika’s eyes reflected her kindness. “And that’s life. You are not the only child who has been in this situation. Thousands, hundreds of thousands of children are in your situation every day. You only know you.”
Sandy nodded.
“You’re smart, articulate and beautiful,” Anjelika said. “You have a chance to speak for all of these children, to be their voice.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Do you want to?” Anjelika asked.
Sandy turned her head to the right. She watched the bright blue blip of her baby’s heart. When she turned back to look at her best friend’s mother, her uncertainty was gone.
“I want to stop this crap. If only for one child, my child, I want to stop these fuckers from hurting another child.”
“Yes. That’s the girl my Jillian loves.”
“Where will I stay?”
“You will stay in that crazy house Jillian lives in,” Anjelika said. “You will stay there until you can go home. There’s a place for you and the children.”
“Aden’s kids?”
“Jillian said Nash and Noelle were your kids,” Anjelika smiled.
“I love them but… I mean no one really wants to be with me.”
“I understand how you feel,” Anjelika said. “We have a lot to accomplish today.”
“Like what?”
“First, we must meet with the doctors. We’re going to request that you be allowed to go home. My son, Stephen, will look after you if you need more care. We have to get you out of the hospital without damage from the press.”
“Can’t I sneak out with a bag over my head?”
“I ask you, Sandra, would you really like to sneak out? As if you did something wrong? Some pathetic victim? Embarrassed whore?” Anjelika gave Sandy a bright smile. “I’d rather hold my head high and walk out of here like Greta Garbo. Illegitimi non carborundum kind of thing.”
“Don’t let the bastards grind me down?” Sandy asked.
“Your father was a bastard in my book. Your mother…“ Anjelika shook her head. “Your role as spokesperson begins the moment the public sees you.
“When I leave here?”
“Exactly.”
“I can do it,” Sandy said.
Hearing a noise, Anjelika looked toward the door. “Ah… finally.”
Aden stood in Sandy’s doorway. His hair was wet and his skin shiny from a fast shower.
“Aden!” Sandy beamed at him.
“I’ll leave you for a moment. Then we must speak with the doctors.”
Anjelika kissed Sandy’s cheek and touched Aden’s arm before leaving the room.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
It’s good to have friends
Thursday morning — 9 A.M.
Rose Hospital
“How are you?” Aden and Sandy asked at the same time.
Sandy smiled. He bent over to hug and kiss her. Looking up, he saw the baby’s heartbeat. He grinned.
“Meet your baby,” Sandy said.
Aden kissed her again.
“What about the kids? Aden, they’ve been really upset.”
“I was just there,” Aden said. He pulled two cards from his pocket. “They made you get-well cards.”
Beaming, Sandy read Nash’s then Noelle’s card. She smiled at Aden.
“They are very sweet. How are they?”
“In pain,” Aden said. “But all right. You should have seen Noelle. She said, ‘Now Daddy, you did something wrong and you will have to pay for that.’ It’s the first time I’ve seen her calm and… I don’t know, like she’s my daughter.”
Sandy chuckled.
“How are you?” Aden asked.
“I don’t know,” Sandy said. “They took me for more tests this morning. Anjelika said she wants me to go home but not my home. To the Castle.”
“Sam posted my bail and took me there,” Aden said. “I got there after six and they were already busy setting up a place for all of us. Anjelika and the rest of Jill’s family were there working.”
“Why… I mean, what h
appened yesterday?”
“I lost it,” Aden took her hand. “As long as I’ve known you, I’ve had to sit helplessly by while you struggle with the pain inflicted by that awful man. I want so much to make your pain go away, to make it better. When I thought Noelle was in the same situation? And all that crap at Nash’s school? I couldn’t stand by anymore. I just couldn’t do it. I had to end this madness for you… for Noelle… for Nash.”
“But you put everything at risk – your custody of the kids, your job, us. My father could have killed you.”
Aden nodded. He looked away from Sandy’s concerned eyes. Drawn as if by a magnet, his eyes shifted back to the baby’s heartbeat.
“You’ve never been out of control,” Aden said finally.
“Not really.”
“You’re also not a man,” Aden gave her a half smile. “I’m glad you’re not. Did you hear that the Assistant Principal was arrested?”
“It was on the news,” Sandy said. “He had child pornography on his personal and work computer.”
“Scumbag,” Aden said. “That’s why he’s been on Nash! It’s unbelievable.”
“Are you all right?”
“Sure,” Aden nodded. “Just an easy night in jail.”
“You weren’t…”
“Raped?” Aden laughed. “That’s never happened to me. No, I was kept on my own. I had the night to think about my sins. The DA didn’t want anything else to happen to me.”
Sandy smiled.
“Will you lose your job?” she asked.
“No,” Aden shook his head. “You’ve probably heard that Celia predicted this would happen. I’m ready to do what I need to do to move on.”
“Your hands are pretty banged up,” Sandy said.
“I’m not accustomed to hitting people,” Aden nodded.
“That’s a good thing.”
“Listen, I’m really worried about you,” Aden said. “Jill said these injuries aren’t minor and…”
“I…”
“Looks like we’re going to find out,” Anjelika said as she walked into the room. “It’s time to meet the doctors. They are waiting outside.”
“Sorry, I’m late,” Seth came into the room with a box of donuts. “I needed some sustenance. Donut anyone?”
Cascade Page 21