by Lucy Gordon
His Pretend Wife
Lucy Gordon
Elinor faces a difficult decision when Andrew asks her to share his home…he's a single dad and needs help. The trouble is that once, they were almost married. Would being under the same roof together be too much to handle?
Lucy Gordon
His Pretend Wife
© 2002
PROLOGUE
H E WOULD never have known her.
He would have known her anywhere.
Andrew caught only the briefest glimpse of the woman, at the far end of the hospital corridor, but it was enough to revive memory, as soft as a bird’s wing fluttering past his face.
She looked nothing like Ellie, who’d been young and luscious as a ripe peach. This was a thin, pale woman, who looked as though life had thrown everything at her, and left her exhausted. Yet there was a hint of Ellie in the resolute set of her head and the angle of her jaw. The bird’s wing fluttered again, and vanished.
He couldn’t afford sentimentality. He was a busy man, second in command of the Heart Unit of Burdell Hospital. Ultimately he could only be satisfied with heading the team, but there was no shame in being second when the chief was Elmer Rylance, a man of international eminence. Soon he would retire and Andrew would step into his shoes.
He’d fast-tracked, giving everything to his work, allowing no distractions, as a broken marriage could testify. He was young for his position, although he didn’t look it. His tall figure was still lean, his features handsome, and there was no grey in his dark hair, but his face had a gaunt look from too many hours spent in work, and not enough spent in living. And there was something about his eyes that spoke of an inner withering.
He had only time for a glimpse of the woman, enough to show that she was with a child, a little girl of about seven, on whom her eyes were fixed with an anguished possessiveness with which he was all too familiar. In this place he’d seen a thousand mothers look at their children like that. And usually his skill sent the two of them home happy. But not always. He turned swiftly into his office.
His secretary was there before him, the list of appointments ready waiting on his desk, along with the necessary files, the coffee being made, exactly as he liked it. She was the best. He only employed the best, just as he only bought the best.
The first patient on his list was seventeen, the age that Ellie had been. There the likeness ended. His patient was weary with illness. Ellie had been an earth nymph, vibrant with life, laughing her way through the world with the confidence of someone who knew she was blessed by the gods, and laughter would last for ever.
‘Mr Blake?’ Miss Hasting was eyeing him with concern.
He shook himself out of his reverie. ‘I’m sorry, did you speak?’
‘I asked if you’d seen the test results. They’re just here…’
He grunted, annoyed with himself for the moment of inattention. That was a weakness, and he always concealed weakness. Miss Hasting was too well disciplined to notice. She was a perfectly functioning machine. Like himself.
Ellie’s beauty had been wild and overflowing, making him think of wine and sun, freedom and splendour: all the good things of life that had been his for such a brief time.
He switched the thought off as easily as he would have switched off the light behind an X-ray. He had a heavy day ahead.
Besides, it hadn’t been her.
‘Time for me to start on my ward rounds,’ he told Miss Hasting briefly. ‘Make a call to…’ For five minutes he gave brisk instructions.
When he went out into the corridor again the woman was gone.
He was glad of that.
CHAPTER ONE
S HE would have known him anywhere, any time. Down the length of the corridor. Down the length of the years.
Years that had changed her from a flighty, blinkered young girl who’d thought the world danced to her merry tune, to a bitter, grieving woman who knew that the world was something you had to fight. And you could never, ever really win.
She’d been partly prepared, seeing his name on the hospital literature. Andrew Blake was a common name, and it might not have been him, but she knew at once that it was. Just two words on the page, yet they had brought before her the rangy young man, too tense, too thoughtful, a challenge to a girl who’d known any man could have been hers if she’d only snapped her fingers. So she’d snapped. And he’d been hers. And they’d both paid a bitter price.
She’d planned a glamorous, if ill-defined, career for herself. She would earn a fortune and live in a mansion. The reality was ‘Comfy ’n’ Cosy’, a shabby boarding house in a down-at-heel part of London. The paint peeled, the smell of cabbage clung, and the only thing that was ‘comfy’ was the kindness of her landlady, Mrs Daisy Hentage.
Daisy was peering through the torn lace curtains when the cab drew up, and Elinor helped her daughter onto the pavement. Once Hetta would have protested, ‘I can manage, Mummy!’ And there would have been a mother/daughter tussle, which would have made Elinor feel desperate. But now Hetta no longer argued, just wearily did as she was told. And that was a thousand times worse.
Daisy had the front door open in readiness as they slowly climbed the stone steps. ‘The kettle’s on,’ she said. ‘Come into my room.’ She was middle-aged, widowed, and built like a cushion.
She scraped a living from the boarding house, which sheltered, besides Elinor and her daughter, a young married couple, several assorted students, and ‘that Mr Jenson’ with whom she waged constant war about his smoking in bed.
When the house was full Daisy had only one small room left for herself. But if her room was small her heart was large, and she’d taken Elinor and her little girl right into it. She cared for Hetta while Elinor was out working as a freelance beautician, and there was nobody else the distraught mother would have trusted with her precious child.
After the strain of her journey Hetta was ready to doze off on the sofa. When they were sure she was safely asleep they slipped into the kitchen and Daisy said quietly, ‘Did you see the great man in person, or did you get fobbed off?’
‘Elmer Rylance saw me. They say he always sees people himself when it’s bad news.’
‘It’s much too soon to talk like that.’
‘Hetta’s heart is damaged and she needs a new one. But it has to be an exact match, and small enough for a child.’ Elinor covered her eyes with her hand and spoke huskily. ‘If we don’t find one before-’
‘You will, you will.’ Daisy put her arms around the younger woman’s thin body and held her as she wept. ‘There’s still time.’
‘That’s what he said, but he’s said it so often. He was kind and he tried to be upbeat, but the bottom line is there’s no guarantee. It needs a miracle, and I don’t believe in miracles.’
‘Well, I do,’ Daisy said firmly. ‘I just know that a miracle is going to happen for you.’
Elinor gave a shaky laugh. ‘Have you been reading the tarot cards again, Daisy?’
Daisy’s life was divided between the cards, the runes and the stars. She blindly believed everything she read, until it was proved wrong, after which she believed something else. She said it kept her cheerful.
‘Yes, I have,’ she said now, ‘and they say everything’s going to be all right. You can scoff, but you’d better believe me. Good luck’s coming, and it’s going to take you by surprise.’
‘Nothing takes me by surprise any more,’ Elinor said, drying her eyes. ‘Except-’
‘What?’
‘Oh, it’s just that I thought I saw a ghost today.’
‘What kind of a ghost?’ Daisy said eagerly.
‘Nothing, I’m getting as fanciful as you are. How about another cuppa?’
‘It’s not fair for you to
be facing this alone,’ Daisy said, starting to pour.
‘I’m not alone while I’ve got you.’
‘I meant a feller. Someone who’s there for you. Like Hetta’s dad.’
‘The less said about Tom Landers, the better. He was a disaster. I should never have married him. And before him was my first husband, who was also a disaster. And before him…’ Elinor’s voice faded.
‘Was that one a disaster too?’
‘No, I was. He loved me. He wanted to marry me, but I threw him over. I didn’t mean to be cruel, but I was. And I broke his heart.’
‘You couldn’t help it if you didn’t love him.’
‘But I did love him,’ Elinor said softly. ‘I loved him more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life, except Hetta. But I didn’t realise it then. Not for years. By then it was too late.’ Anguish racked her. ‘Oh, Daisy, I had the best any woman could have. And I threw it all away.’
There was more than one kind of ghost. Sometimes it was the other person, teasing you with memories of what might have been. But sometimes it was your own younger self, dancing ahead of you through the shadows, asking reproachfully how she’d turned into you.
To Ellie Foster, sixteen going on seventeen, life had been heaven: an impoverished kind of heaven, since there had never been money to spare in her home or those of her friends, and there had been a lot of ‘making do’. But there had been the freedom of having left school. Her mother had tried to persuade her to stay on, perhaps even go to college, but Ellie had regarded that idea with horror. Who needed boring lessons when they could work in the cosmetics department of a big store? She’d seized on the job, and had had a wage packet and a kind of independence.
Best of all, she’d been gorgeous. She’d known it without conceit because boys had never stopped following her, trying to snatch a kiss, or just looking at her like gormless puppies. That had been the most fun of all.
She’d been tall, nearly five-foot eight, with a slender, curved figure and endless legs. She’d worn her naturally blonde hair long and luxuriant, letting it flow over her shoulders. To her other blessings had been added a pair of deep blue eyes and a full mouth that had been able to suddenly beam out a brilliant smile. She’d had only to give a man that smile…
What appalled Elinor, as she looked back over the years, was her own ignorance in those days. With just a few puny weapons she’d thought she could have the universe at her feet. Who had there been to tell her otherwise? Certainly not the love-struck lads who’d followed her about, practically in a convoy.
They’d formed a little gang, Pete and Clive and Johnny, Johnny’s sister Grace, and another girl who’d tagged along because Ellie had always been the centre of the action, and being part of her entourage meant status. She’d been a natural leader, that had gone without saying. And she wouldn’t be stuck long in Markton, the featureless provincial town where she’d been born. She could be anything she wanted. A model perhaps, or a television presenter, or someone who was famous for being famous. Whatever. The cosmetics counter had only been temporary. The city lights had beckoned, and, after that, the world.
Her seventeenth birthday had been looming, and as Grace had had a birthday in the same week both sets of parents had got together and held the party at Grace’s home, which had been bigger. Ellie had a new dress for the occasion. It looked like shimmering gold and was both too sophisticated and too revealing, as her scandalised mother had protested.
‘Mum, it’s a party,’ Ellie said in a voice that settled the matter. ‘This is how people dress at parties.’
‘It’s much too low,’ her mother said flatly. ‘And too short.’
‘Well, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. I’ve got it.’
‘And you’re certainly flaunting it. In my day only a certain kind of woman dressed like that.’
Ellie collapsed laughing. The things mothers said, honestly! But she gave Mrs Foster a hug and asked kindly, ‘When you were my age, didn’t you ever flaunt it?’
‘I didn’t have it to flaunt, dear. If I’d had-well, maybe I’d have gone a bit mad, too. But then I’d have lost your father. He didn’t like girls who “displayed everything in the shop window”.’
Ellie crowed with delight. ‘You mean he was as much of a stick-in-the-mud then as he is now?’
‘Don’t be unkind about your father. He’s a very nice, kind man.’
‘How can you say that when he wanted to hold you back, stop you having fun?’
‘He didn’t. He just wanted me to have my fun with him. So did I. We loved each other. You’ll find out one day. You’ll meet the right man, and you won’t want any fun that doesn’t include him.’
‘OK, OK,’ Ellie said, not believing a word of it, but feeling good-natured. ‘I just don’t want to meet the right man until I’ve done a bit of living.’
Oh, the irony of having uttered those words, on that evening of all evenings! But she only came to see it later.
‘Let’s get to this party,’ Mrs Foster said indulgently. ‘You’re only young once.’
Ellie kissed her, delighted, though not surprised, to have got her own way again.
The party overflowed with guests, with noise and merriment. The parents hung around for the first hour, then bowed to the unmistakable hints that were being thrown at them, and departed to the peace of the pub, leaving the young people alone. Someone turned up the music. Someone else produced a bottle of strong cider. Ellie waved it away, preferring to stick to light wine. Life was more enjoyable with a clear head.
The music changed, became smoochy. In the centre of the room couples danced, not touching, because that wasn’t ‘cool’, but writhing in each other’s general direction. She beckoned to Pete and he joined her, his eyes fixed longingly on her gyrating form. She was smooth and graceful, moving as though the music were part of her.
At first she barely glimpsed the stranger in the doorway, but then a turn brought her back to face him, and she saw that he was taller than everyone else in the room, and looked a little older. He wore a shirt and jeans, which were conservative compared to the funky teenage clothes around him.
What struck her most of all was his expression, the lips quirked in a wry smile, like a man showing indulgence to children. Obviously he thought a teenage rave beneath his dignity, and that made her very annoyed.
It wouldn’t have mattered if he clearly belonged to another generation. Older people were expected to be stuffy. But he was in his twenties, too young for that slightly lofty look, she thought.
Nor would she have minded if he’d been unattractive. But for a man with those mobile, sensual lips to be above the crowd was a deadly insult. His lean features made matters worse, being slightly irregular in a way that was intriguing. His eyes were a crime too, dark, lustrous and expressive. They should be watching her, filled with admiration, instead of flickering over everyone with a hint of amusement.
‘Who’s that?’ she yelled to her partner above the music.
‘That’s Johnny’s brother, Andrew,’ he yelled back, glancing at the door. ‘He’s a doctor. We don’t see much of him here.’
Johnny was weaving his way over to his brother. Ellie couldn’t hear them through the music, but she could follow their greeting, the way Johnny indicated for Andrew to join the party, and Andrew’s grimace as he mouthed, ‘You’ve gotta be kidding.’
She followed Johnny’s reply, ‘Aw, c’mon.’
And Andrew’s dismissive, ‘Thanks, but I don’t play with children.’
Children. He might as well have shouted the word. And her response, as she later realised, was childish. She put an extra sensuousness into her writhing, which made the boys shout appreciation and the girls glare. She’d show him who was a child.
But when she looked up he’d gone.
She found him in the kitchen half an hour later, eating bread and cheese and drinking a cup of tea. She’d switched tactics now. Charm would be better.
‘What are you hiding out here for?�
� she asked, smiling. ‘It’s a party. You should be having fun.’
‘I’m sorry, what did you say?’ He raised his head from the book he’d been reading. His eyes were unfocused, as though part of him was still buried in the pages, and he didn’t seem to have noticed her smile.
‘It’s a party. Come and have fun. Don’t be boring out here.’
‘Better than being boring in there,’ he said, indicating the noise with his head.
‘Who says you’re boring?’
He shrugged. ‘I would be to them.’ His tone suggested that he wasn’t breaking his heart over this.
‘So live a little.’
‘By “live” you mean drink too much and make a fool of myself? No, thanks. I did that in my first year at Uni, and who needs to repeat an experience?’
He was dividing his attention between Ellie and his book, making no secret of the fact that she couldn’t go fast enough for him.
‘You mean we’re boring, don’t you?’ she demanded, nettled.
He shrugged. ‘If the cap fits.’ Then he looked up from the book, giving her his whole attention. ‘I’m sorry, that was rude of me.’
‘Yes, it was,’ noticing that his smile was gentle and charming.
‘What’s the party about?’
‘It’s my birthday-and Grace’s.’
‘How old are you?’
‘Nineteen.’ He laid down the book and regarded her, his head on one side. ‘All right, not quite nineteen,’ she admitted.
He looked her up and down in a way that made her think he was getting the point at last, but when he spoke it was only to say, ‘Not quite eighteen, either.’
‘I’m seventeen today,’ she admitted.
‘Don’t sound so disappointed. Seventeen is a lot of fun.’
‘How would you know? I’ll bet you were never seventeen.’
He laughed at that. ‘I was, but it’s lost in the mists of time.’
When he grinned he was very attractive, she decided. ‘Yes, I can see you’re very old. You must be at least twenty-one.’