by Gow, Kailin
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll fight about it later,” she said, wiggling her hand to brush me off.
Over the years, Nicole and I have had our fair share of fights. Most of them were just misunderstandings when one of us was on the rag…actually all of them probably were that. Even though she had ditched me on my birthday cruise, I wasn’t mad at her. Probably because of the man candy I had been fantasizing about since the very first night we talked into the wee hours.
“He’s hot,” I started to say as though it was no big deal.
“Yeah, we know that. I want to know why you’re all—googly eyes over him?”
“What are you talking about? I am not all “googly eyes” over him,” I said, putting googly eyes in air quotes.
“You are to.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Chauna, can’t you tell that my sister has the hots for Easton?”
“I’m sorry Brooke, but she’s right.”
The waitress placed our pitcher on the table, then asked if we needed anything else. When we declined, she left us so that I could continue being interrogated by the Googly Police.
“You know they’re right. Avery and I see it, too,” Nicole said, pouring a glass of the margarita and then placing it front of me.
I took a sip, “Well of course I have the hots for him. He’s fucking hot and the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”
“I knew it!” Bailee shouted a little too loud.
“Tell them about the private island and zip-lining.”
“Private island?” Bailee asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Private island with like fifty other people, including you and Avery!”
“I want to hear more!” Bailee said, not letting it go.
“The four of us—including other people from the cruise—took a small boat to a private island when we ported in Puerto Vallarta. No big deal. We ate lunch, snorkeled and swam with a sea lion named Cassandra.”
“That’s not what I mean, Brooke,” Nicole said.
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You were too busy dry humping Avery the whole time.”
“There was more than dry humping if you know what I mean,” she said winking. “But tell them how he never left your side to go talk to any other girl. Tell them how he hasn’t done that the whole time we’ve been on the cruise.”
“He likes you, too!” Bailee said, a little too loud again.
“No he doesn’t,” I said, draining the rest of my glass and fighting off brain freeze.
I reached for the pitcher to give myself a refill. I needed it to calm my nerves. No way could a player like Easton like someone with a boyfriend. It was in their nature to go find a piece of ass to fuck—but he hadn’t yet.
“He totally does. Tell me about zip-lining,” Bailee said.
I looked at Chauna for help, but she too was engrossed in my imaginary love story.
“We went zip-lining in Mazatlán. Does anyone else want some chips?” I asked, trying to get out of my seat. Nicole grabbed my arm, not letting me move.
“Tell me Brooke!” my sister said.
“Fine. We went zip-lining and on the way there, I was practically shitting myself. You know I’m scared of heights. I kept thinking to myself “a string is all that is going to hold you up while you zip through the jungle”. I was panicking.”
“She was,” Nicole agreed.
“Fuck you!” Everyone laughed. “Anyway, we get there and I start to chicken out. I’m standing on the platform, looking at the ground a million feet down and this bitch here,” I said, lightly punching Nicole’s arm, “is shouting from the bottom for me to “hurry the fuck up”. I start to turn around to climb down the ladder and Easton grabs my shoulders with both hands, looks me dead in the eye and tells me, “from what you’ve told me these last few days and what I’ve seen, you’re the strongest woman I know. If you can raise a six-year-old when you’re only thirteen—which is scary as hell—you can’t let a little trip on strong cables hold you back. Now get out there Superwoman and fly”.”
I looked at my sister’s face and she was speechless. It looked like she was on the verge of tears. Growing up was hard on both of us, but we survived. I didn’t feel like Superwoman, just a girl that had to grow up too fast and couldn’t just be a kid.
“Anyway,” I said and continued. “He grabbed the straps of my helmet, snapped them together and then slapped the top with his hand and then my ass as I turned to walk to let the guys hook my harness on the cable. Then—I flew.” I shrugged and took a sip of my drink.
“Holy shit! I didn’t know he said that. I just saw the ass smacking. What the fuck?”
“If you weren’t ditching me, we could be telling each other about our cruise that we’re supposed to be on together.”
Easton was right. I needed to take that leap. I was changing into a different woman and it was all because of him.
*~*~*
After breakfast, the cruise to Land’s End and the margaritas with my sister, we did a little shopping and then had to say our goodbyes. Since then, I was a little depressed. I missed my sister so much. She was the only family I had. A few years ago, both of my grandparents in Arizona passed away. My grandmother first and then my grandfather about a year later. It was as if he died of a broken heart.
I wanted to find a love like that. A love that would last for sixty years.
We made it back to the ship thirty minutes before the scheduled departure. Of course, the one place I wished we were staying overnight was the one we were only staying seven hours at.
Nothing was much different than the previous five nights. After dinner, Nicole and Avery left to go bang and Easton and I did our own thing. The last few nights, Nicole and Avery had stayed out a little past dinner, but I figured that since we were nearing the end of the cruise, they were trying to get as much fucking in as possible.
So, Easton and I took in a comedy show. It wasn’t that great. I had seen better, but it was good to spend more time with him. It was like we were on a really long first date. No holding hands, no kissing, and no relieving the pent-up sexual tension.
Just one more day, one more night and then home free so I can think!
*~*~*
We attended our scheduled breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day since we were at sea on the way back to Los Angeles. After lunch, I got the massage that I had longed for since day one. The ship had gone in a big circle. I didn’t realize it, but when we left Puerto Vallarta for Mazatlán, we were on our way home.
The last six days had flown by and now Nicole and I were in her room, getting ready for the Black Tie Masquerade Ball that everyone on the ship looked forward to since day one. It was like the prom. Everyone that had met the whole trip, invited their favorite person to be their date. Of course, Nicole was going with Avery and I was going with Easton. I couldn’t wait to see him in a tux. Every man looks hot all dressed up.
I had picked out a floor-length strapless teal satin evening gown with a bandage waist that wrapped around and then flowed down to the floor. I twirled in it, causing it to blossom around me like a flower.
“I feel like I’m eighteen again,” I said as Nicole watched and laughed with me.
“I know, right?”
Nicole was dressed in a scarlet semi-strapless floor-length evening gown that had a triangle halter that wrapped around her neck. She paired it with gold cuffs and gold ankle strapped stilettoes.
I didn’t wear any jewelry other than diamond princess cut studs in my ears. I pulled my hair back, twisting it in the back and pinning it in place. Nicole straightened her hair and then we helped each other tie our masks around our heads and covered up the straps with our hair.
My mask was made out of black plastic with round black sequins around the edge of the face. In the center of the forehead, silver round sequins and crystals came together to make a flower with twelve-inch feathers extending from the top. Nicole’s mask was similar to mine, but white with gold and no feather.
“Ready?” I ask, giving a big sigh. The night was bitter sweet. While we had been looking forward to going to the ball, it was the last night we would spend with the guys. I didn’t know what my future would hold with Easton. I really liked him. He was like a breath of fresh air, always making me laugh and making me feel good about myself.
“Yep. Remember, no matter what happens, I will see you tomorrow here at nine in the morning.”
“Got it,” I said, opening the door.
The ship was due to arrive in Los Angeles at seven and we were told that each cabin would be called in groups when it was time to deboard. Our flight back to Boston was leaving at one in the afternoon and we didn’t have time to goof around—basically, Nicole didn’t have time to fuck around with Avery.
I opened the door fully and Easton and Avery were walking towards us. My eyes met Easton’s cornflower eyes and crooked smile and I took a deep breath, calming myself because all I wanted to do was hug him. I was going to miss him. I never expected to actually meet someone—even if we weren’t together.
The greatest relationships are the ones that you never expect. The ones that challenge you, make you a better person and challenge how you thought your life would be.
Oddly, I wasn’t missing Jared. Easton showed me that a man could care for a woman—even if he was unsuccessful once. The right men could change. Easton was showing me that it was okay to let my guard down, to be myself and love with no regrets. Granted, it took Easton going through a life changing experience to understand that a woman deserves someone like that.
People are brought into our lives for many reasons. Over time, we find out what those reasons are. Some are to be a temporary acquaintance while others are there for life.
Dana was in Easton’s life as a temporary acquaintance. She made him a better person by giving him Cheyenne. It didn’t turn out like they had planned, but that’s life. You never know when it will be your last day, so live with no regrets. Love with no regrets. If it means taking a chance on someone that you may love, it’s better to live with knowing what would happen than living with not knowing what could have happened.
Just—fly!
As I stared at his baby blues, I thought about a quote I had read not long ago:
“It’s easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their presents and their pasts, but you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often than not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul. Never judge, learn to respect and acknowledge the feelings of another.” –Unknown
I was hiding the way Jared really made me feel. I was hiding how bad my shoulder pain really was. I was hiding. Period. I was hoping that both things would work themselves out, but the more Easton talked to me about me, I was breaking down those walls.
Easton has had his fair share of tears in his life with Dana dying. At first, I judged him as a player, but really, he was hiding his pain from everyone as well. We both needed more in our lives and we were challenging each other to open up and show our true selves and not care if the other person would run for the hills. The right person won’t run. They love you for you and Easton and I weren’t running.
“You look—wow,” he said.
“Thank you. You look very handsome. Where’s your mask?”
He pulled a small black leather mask from his pocket, dangled with his finger and then asked for me to help put it on him. I did and Nicole helped Avery.
Avery was dressed like Easton in a black and white standard tuxedo. If it weren’t for the shade of their hair, it would be hard to tell them apart with the masks on—but I wasn’t watching Avery, my attention was only on Easton.
We walked into the ballroom, music blared from speakers and people danced all around under the dimly lit room with neon lights bouncing off the surface.
We took our place out on the dance floor, moving to the beat as people all around us danced, made out and were practically having sex on the dance floor. If only Be My Baby by the Ronettes was playing, it would be like the opening credits of Dirty Dancing.
Easton and I danced for hours, taking breaks here and there to grab something to eat from the buffet, a flute of champagne or just take a break and rest my throbbing feet that were in the same silver heels I wore the first night on the cruise.
Over the night, I lost track of Nicole and Avery. They probably were in the room, enjoying their final night together on the cruise. No one knew what real life would be like once we were off the ship.
I stole glances at Easton as we danced. We both smiled, enjoying each other for one more night and I didn’t want it to end.
What fairy tale do you ever want to end?
“You know this isn’t goodbye, right?” Easton whispered in my ear.
I leaned back, looking into his eyes. “I know,” I nodded.
It was like he could read my mind. What if it was goodbye? What if Easton was my temporary acquaintance?
CHAPTER TWELVE
Easton
For the past fifteen years of my life, I had been hiding my feelings with sex. When I was a horny teenager, I hid fights with my parents, losing baseball games, and failing classes by fooling around with chicks. Sex was my way to get my mind off everything that caused stress in my life.
When Dana and I got married, most of the reason why I cheated on her was because we fought all the time. We were just not meant to be together, but I felt stuck because we had Cheyenne and I wanted to give her the perfect family. I was a fuck up and turned to sex and women to forget about Dana and my Peanut. To forget about making the perfect family.
The day Dana died, I called my attorney, Allison, and met her at her house when my parents and Cheyenne were asleep at mine. I fucked her to hide the hurt I was feeling with Dana dying and leaving me to raise Cheyenne on my own. I fucked her to hide the anger I had towards the old man that ran a red light and plowed into her. I fucked her to forget for thirty minutes—but that’s as long as it lasted. Allison and I kept our relationship going until the day I moved to New York. And by relationship, I mean we just fucked. She thought we were a couple, but I knew all along that she was temporary. I didn’t want another wife, I just needed to hide my pain.
By the time Cheyenne and I moved to New York, my heart was healing, but I was still hiding my feelings and stress by hooking up with chicks. I didn’t always fuck them, but I always got off. I needed the release and the distraction. I didn’t have a job when we moved and I was stressed about money and providing for my Peanut. I took modeling gigs and fucked around with those girls to distract myself once again.
Foreplay and orgasms made me forget.
I had never gone more than seven nights without a blowjob or at least a handjob. There was always someone I could find to suck my dick, but these last six days I hadn’t needed to hide anything. Brooke didn’t make me forget, she helped me see how my life should be and how I was selfish for not raising Cheyenne in a stable household.
My life should have Brooke in it—forever.
Of course, having her sleeping in the same room as me was killing my morning wood. I woke up every day to Brooke’s green eyes. She would catch me staring at her—or her staring at me and then she would smile. Fuck, her smile made my dick hard every time. I was going crazy. My head wouldn’t stop talking to me about how the cruise was coming to an end and Brooke may walk out of my life forever. Who knows what Avery and Nicole would end up doing, but I needed Brooke in my life.
She was turning into my best friend, but there was something in my heart that knew I needed her to be more. I couldn’t move on and go back to New York and never show her how much I wanted her. I didn’t want her just for sex and I was trying every day to show her that I wanted more, but I really didn’t know how to show her. I hadn’t been in a committed relationship in a long time, but she had opened up my eyes to show me what I
had been missing.
Her.
I don’t usually believe in love at first sight, but since the moment I saw her on the first day of the cruise, I hadn’t looked at another girl. Hadn’t wanted to fuck another girl. Hadn’t wanted to hide anything with my normal ways of distracting myself. I fell for her the moment we met.
Her smile, her laugh, her beautiful eyes and smoothed legs had been enough of a distraction and I didn’t want it to end. She made me feel good in ways that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time. No woman had ever had that effect on me and it scared me to death just thinking about her going home to Jared and not feeling the same way I did.
I knew that if she broke up with him, I wouldn’t be a rebound guy. She’s made it clear to me in the last six days, that she doesn’t really love him. She’s been hiding her true feelings with the comfort of knowing that she isn’t going home to an empty house. I wanted her to come to my house. I wanted her to meet Cheyenne. I just—wanted her.
She deserves so much better and I will fight to prove it to her. I need to be true to myself. I can’t hide or lie anymore.
I love her. I love her? I love her!
I stared into her eyes behind her mask as the music played around us while we danced. The night was coming to an end and I needed to show her. I could only talk so much, I needed to take some sort of action. I needed to show her that I wanted to be more than friends. She’s got me thinking a lot of crazy things—like love and I wasn’t scared.
The way we were dancing would portray that we were in love. I spun her around and around and fell more in love with her as we laughed and never left each other. I knew we were perfect for each other. No woman had ever moved me the way Brooke did.
The DJ slowed the tempo a bit, changing the song to It Will Rain by Bruno Mars and the opening verse rang true to me. If she didn’t go home and break up with Jared, my life would be dark again. I would go back to hiding my feelings with random women.
“You know this isn’t goodbye, right?” I whispered into her ear.