by R. J. Groves
“We should, umm,” she stammered, holding the ball up between them. “Do you play?”
“Uhh, yes, right. Play.”
There was a hint of something in his voice that she couldn’t quite place. Annoyance? Frustration? Disappointment? He rose to his feet and took the ball from her hands and kicked it towards the middle of the park, racing the boys to get to it first. Lacey exhaled. That was too close. Too close for comfort. Too close to real.
But it still tore at her chest.
Chapter 6
“Jack, no!”
Lacey grabbed hold of the little boy’s wrist before he pulled the tablecloth out from under the elaborate cake that her mother had laboured over for hours. An accident like that this early in the party would be sure to put a downer on the evening. The music was pumping, and people were having fun—her dad was having fun. Having the cake tumble to the ground in a big chaotic mess would end the party.
“But I’m a superhero!” Jack stomped his foot.
“Jack, honey, I know you’re a superhero,” Lacey said, squatting down to his level. “But Mummy is not going to be very happy if you wreck this cake by pulling the tablecloth off.”
“But it’s a magic trick.”
She scrunched her nose. “Tell you what,” she said. “You can show me a magic trick after the party involving something other than wrecking the cake. What do you think?”
Jack placed his finger to his chin, pulling an adorable look before flashing a smile. “Okay!”
She breathed a sigh of relief as he raced off to join Aidan and the other kids at the party in their game of chase. She’d promised Emily that she would help keep the kids in line at the party, and she wasn’t about to go back on her word. Crisis averted, she rose to her feet and adjusted her dress.
“Well, that was close.”
She turned in the direction of the masculine voice and looked into those coffee-coloured eyes she couldn’t help but adore, despite all rational thought. Adam. He was the other thing keeping her highly strung for the party. She was supposed to pretend he was her boyfriend, but how could she pretend when she was actually starting to feel something for him?
“The little guy just wants to be a superhero,” she said.
“Don’t we all?”
She laughed awkwardly, folding her arms across her chest. Her and Adam worked together. She had to remember that. She had to remember how things can get very messy very quickly when you brought a relationship into your workplace, and she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to risk that. They had to be professional at work, and that wouldn’t happen if they started something. And it would be impossible if things ended badly. Lacey couldn’t let it happen. Even if her lips were grieving for their missed kiss in the park and her body ached to know what it felt like to be in his arms, feeling his touch, his breath mingling with hers…
“Adam, I—”
“Do you want to dance?”
She tilted her head to the side, squinting. Sure, the music had switched to a slower song that would be somewhat romantic given the opportunity. But when she scanned the yard, there was no one dancing. People were drinking, and eating, and talking, and generally having a great time. But no dancing.
“There’s, umm, no one dancing,” she said.
He shrugged, a glint in his eyes. “Your point?”
“It would be embarrassing.”
She wasn’t about to say she had two left feet and couldn’t dance to save herself. She really couldn’t give him more embarrassing facts to use against her. Even if the thought of what he might say while he’s teasing her brought a smile to her face and sent a warmth through her body when it should have the opposite effect.
“No one will see us,” he said, taking hold of her hand. “And if they do, they’ll think it’s sweet at how desperately in love we are. Which is what we want them to think, right?”
“I guess so,” she said, sighing.
He had a point. One dance shouldn’t hurt, right? Before she could think of anything else to say, he led her towards the tall, blooming, jacaranda tree in the corner of the garden, beautiful tiny purple flowers adorning every branch and carpeting the ground beneath it. He brought them to a stop underneath the branches and tugged her close to him, his right hand resting on the small of her back, his left hand holding her right hand close. Then, he started to move them, together, with gentle sways turning them in slow circles. The party became background noise behind them, because as they moved, she could only focus on him. His smile. His searching eyes. His alluring lips. His defined jawline. The way his fingertips pressed gently against her back to pull her closer to him so their bodies touched.
“About before—in the park,” he said hesitantly, his breath touching just below her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.
“If you say one more time that it’s because kids talk, I swear I will—”
“I was feeling a bit annoyed, actually.”
Her mouth still hung open, but the rest of her sentence refused to come out. She would do what, exactly? And why would he feel so disappointed in being interrupted? Unless…
His hand pressed her even closer to him. She could feel the heat of his body passing through their clothes and sending a warmth throughout her body. She could feel her breath catching and her heart pounding at a thousand miles an hour. Had he planned to kiss her in the park? Or was it a spontaneous decision, interrupted before it could amount to anything? Did he reciprocate the feelings she was repressing? He let out an awkward chuckle—the kind that usually happens when someone is about to put themselves out there and doesn’t quite know how to phrase it.
“I mean, it’s not every day you almost kiss a beautiful woman and have the opportunity taken away like a rug being ripped out from underneath you.”
Oh, God. He let go of her hand and brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek, moulding his hand against the side of her neck. His stormy eyes were searching hers as if looking for some kind of buried treasure in a sea of sand. She could feel her chest growing heavier with each breath—each inhale getting quicker and shallower, each exhale feeling like she’d dug herself too deep.
“I—” He took a shaky breath. “I wasn’t playing the part. I was just using the kids as an excuse.”
She felt her eyes welling with unshed tears. She had to stop this—he couldn’t keep going with his train of thought. Because if he did, she would lose the little bit of resolve she had left for separating her private life from her professional life. It was all just a romanticised idea. He’d seen her at her home. She’d seen how he fit right in with her family, answering the questions that are difficult for people who are actually in a serious relationship. They’d got caught up in the notion of pretending to be in a relationship that the idea they could work didn’t seem outrageous. But they couldn’t.
She turned her head towards the party in time to see Marcus introducing his date to the rest of her family. Maybe she should be more like him and start frivolously dating and not overthinking things. He at least looked happy. But she knew even Marcus wouldn’t start something with someone he worked with. It was destined for failure. They were destined for failure. Her eyes stung from the threatening tears. Since when had she become a crier? She drooped her head between them, closing her eyes in an attempt to squelch the tears.
“Adam,” she whispered.
“Lacey, please,” he said, his voice breaking. He cupped her face between both of his hands, urging her to look at him. “I like you, I do. And maybe I have for a while.”
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, rubbing his other thumb across her cheek. She swallowed, trying to grasp onto the last of the thread she’d been holding on to but missing—her resolve sliding quickly down the steep slippery slope that was her holding it all together.
“You’re beautiful, Lacey,” he continued, his eyes searching hers, looking deep into her soul. “I’ve always known. I just never thought I had even the slightest chance with you.”
> “Adam, st—”
Her voice broke. How could she tell him to stop? How could she end something that hadn’t started all because of some rule she’d made for herself about not dating work colleagues. Was it stupid of her to want to hold on? He was breaking her heart, and she didn’t know why. She was starting to feel things for Adam, things she hadn’t felt with anyone else before—feelings she was repressing because it wouldn’t work out between them. And now, he was standing inches away from her, staring deep into her eyes, seeking some kind of answer to a question that wasn’t being asked. A question she didn’t want to be asked, because she didn’t want to say no.
Before she could react, he closed the distance between them, pressing his lips against hers, pulling her closer. She tried to keep her lips still—she couldn’t encourage this—but failed quicker than she could decide on the simplest things. Because his kiss shot through her like an electric pulse, demanding the attention of every nerve in her body. She parted her lips, letting him in, pressing her body against his as he moved his hand from her cheek to the small of her back. His tongue darted between her lips, dancing with hers in a way that felt magical—right. And because it scared the hell out of her, she broke the kiss, turning her head away from him.
“We work together,” she whispered.
“It doesn’t have to be weird.”
“I’m sorry, Adam.” The threatening tears choked her words. “We can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
“Lacey,” he said, urging her to look at him, his voice laced with hurt.
She stared back at him, feeling the apology in her eyes, and seeing the eagerness in his—his open, sincere eyes. Then, she saw it. She watched as the clouds swept in to cover what she saw in his eyes and replace sincerity with disappointment and coldness. She watched as he stood up a little straighter and released her, his cold stare sending a shiver down her spine. She wanted to kiss him again—to make what she said disappear, so they can enjoy that kiss again. That perfect, indescribable kiss that had her toes curling and making every part of her feel alive. The kiss she would probably never experience again and would certainly never forget.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Uhh, guys, sorry to interrupt,” Emily said. Lacey hadn’t even realised she’d come over. “But there are kids here, so please keep it PG-rated. Also, Marcus wants to introduce his date to you and he was too scared to come over here himself since you were lip-locked.”
She couldn’t bring herself to say anything—she knew Emily would be able to identify the tears in her voice—so she just nodded and followed her towards Marcus and his date, Adam following beside her. A part of her had hoped he might have held her hand to at least keep playing the part, but the few feet he put between them and the fact his hands were in his pockets made her feel more like he couldn’t bear the thought of even touching her. By the time they’d reached them, he’d plastered a smile on his face, acting as though nothing had happened. It made Lacey’s heart drop a little more in her chest. Emily punched Marcus in the arm.
“Next time, do it yourself,” she said, moving on to another group of people and joining in on their conversation.
Marcus turned towards them, but his blonde girlfriend had her back to them, talking to their parents and Patricia. Smiling, he placed his hand on her shoulder and spoke as she turned to face them.
“Guys, I want you to meet—”
“Adam?”
Chapter 7
Marcus’s eyes widened, and Patricia, Charles and Jane were looking questioningly at them. Lacey shot her gaze towards Adam. How did her brother’s blonde girlfriend know him? Lacey could have sworn she saw the fight or flight decision briefly flash across his face, before he tilted his head and squinted. He laced his arm around Lacey’s waist, adding more to her confusion.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice deep, firm. “I think you’ve got the wrong person.”
The blonde shook her head, a smirk on her face. “No, Adam Woods, right? Bethany Miles. We went out on a date a few weeks ago.”
“Oh, honey, that’s impossible,” Jane said, taking hold of Bethany’s arm. “Lacey and Adam have been dating for a year.”
Bethany narrowed her eyes at Adam. “Wait, you told me you were single.”
“Did I say that?” Adam’s voice hit a pitch that wasn’t his norm.
Bethany nodded. Lacey felt her breath catch in her throat. Trust her luck—of course Marcus’s date went out with Adam a few weeks back. That either blew up their plan of pretending to be together or made him look like a cheating bastard. God, she’d really screwed things up. That same fight or flight reaction she’d seen on his face before had made its way onto hers. Except that flight was the only reaction she could do, especially with almost all the people she cared about looking between her and Adam. She glanced up at Adam, who was looking down at her, his expression apologetic. They weren’t together—they never were—so, she shouldn’t feel betrayed or like she wanted to bitch-fight Bethany for Adam’s honour. That was completely irrational and totally not the logical way she usually thought.
“Lacey?”
Her mother’s voice was shaky, hesitant, but she couldn’t take her eyes off Adam. She had to work out a way to deal with this. Under pressure. With her family watching. God, she’d always been good at performing under pressure. But now? Now, she’d frozen like an introverted child who’d just been put on the stage in front of hundreds of people and told to impress them.
“Lacey, I—” Adam started.
But before he could finish, Lacey’s hand had connected with his cheek. Her mouth dropped open, and his hand reached for his cheek, his eyes boring into her. Where the hell had that come from? She’d never slapped a man in her life—or anyone, for that matter. And now she’d slapped the one man who she was actually developing feelings for, potentially ruining anything that could ever have happened between them. She could imagine the tagline: Introducing Lacey Kemper to the world—self-sabotaging, psychotic, unpredictable man-slapper.
She covered her mouth with her hand, unable to stop a tear from spilling from her eyes. She scanned the expressions of the people around her—some were wide-eyed at the exchange, some were death-staring Adam, Patricia looked solemn. Adam was still staring at her, annoyed, questioning. She mouthed an apology at him, turned, and walked as quickly as she could without running to the house.
΅ ΅ ΅
“What the hell was that for?”
God, she was glad there was no one else inside the house but them. She’d been well aware of all the eyes following her to the house and she was not looking forward to having to face them. They had a plan. A plan that had seemed as foolproof as it could get considering what they were doing. But looking back on it now—it had already been full of holes. Bethany only pointed them out. How had she been so stupid to think it could work? On the other hand, what were the odds of Adam knowing someone at the party? What were the odds of him recently dating someone at the party? If Marcus hadn’t been so flippant with dating, then their plan would have worked. But then, if she hadn’t been so perpetually single, they wouldn’t have even been in this situation.
“I’m sorry, Adam. I didn’t mean to—”
“To slap me in front of everyone?”
He was pissed. She could tell in the way his body tensed and how all the emotions flashed across his face. But could she blame him? They’d just been outed in front of everyone at the party and, instead of admitting to the scam and taking ownership of the situation—which would have been the logical thing to do—she’d confirmed everyone’s thoughts that he’d cheated on her by slapping him. God, she was a self-centred bitch.
“What else was I to do?” She swiped at a tear that rolled down her cheek.
“I don’t know—tell the truth?”
Lacey sighed, holding her hands over her face, and leaning against the kitchen bench. “I am so sorry, Adam,” she said, her voice shaking. “I shouldn’t have brought you into this.�
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“But you did, and here we are, hiding from a hundred people who are wondering what the hell just happened.” His arms were folded across his chest and he was leaning against the frame of the archway in the kitchen.
“I swear I didn’t mean to slap you,” she said desperately. “I just—I didn’t even realise I was going to do it until after I had.”
“Well, now you won’t have to explain why we broke up,” he said solemnly, staring at the ground.
“Did you really date Bethany?”
He scrunched his nose. “It was a bad date.”
She nodded, staring at the floor. What was she supposed to say? What could she say? The guy she was starting to feel irrational feelings for was slipping through her fingers. He said he’d thought he never had a chance with her, but it was really the other way around—she never had a chance with him.
“Are you sure the slap wasn’t because of the kiss?”
She looked up at him, feeling that tightening in her chest. His eyes had that openness in them again, though veiled with a sheet of wariness. Had the slap been because of the kiss? She wouldn’t be able to pinpoint exactly where the slap came from. Was she freaking out in front of her family? Was her self-sabotaging subconscious trying to burn any last thread of hope that they might be able to be something?
“I—I don’t know,” she whispered.
His eyes searched hers, making the distance between them seem like nothing. But every second more that he looked at her like that made her heart drop deeper. She watched as his jaw tensed and he swallowed, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“I get it,” he said, his voice deep, detached.
“I’ll still illustrate your book for you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” God, she was an idiot. If anything, now was definitely not the time to be bringing up their arrangement.
“Is that all you think I care about, Lacey?” He stood up straighter—his whole body was tense—and his eyes narrowed. Yes, she was definitely an idiot.