by Rachael Wade
“Anya, don’t go.” Tanner flies forward, crouching down to meet me at eye level.
“Get out of my way, Tanner.”
“She never comes here. She’s only doing this to get underneath your skin.”
“It’s working.”
“Don’t let her ruin this.”
“Oh, and what? Just join you two in the shower for a quickie before her afternoon meetings?” I huff and rise to slip into my sundress. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.”
His hand meets my elbow. “You have every right to be angry. Please, just come out to the beach with me until she leaves. You promised me a swim.”
“I didn’t promise you anything.”
“You said you’d stay.”
“I said a lot of things. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I adjust the halter of my dress and Tanner’s hand clamps down harder, gripping my elbow tightly. It catches my attention. “Let me go, Tanner.”
“We have something, Anya. I know I hurt you. I know seeing this—” he waves to the bathroom door, “hurts you. I can’t take it back and I can’t fix it right now. I’m sorry. But I still want you. I still want us.”
Something in me snaps, and I snatch my elbow from his grasp. “You might actually marry her.” His eyes turn glassy, and mine harden, infused with frustration. “Where will that leave me? Where will that leave us? This whole thing is a mistake. It’s ridiculous!” I move past him, but he blocks my path.
“Lana’s going to help us. I’m doing what I can on my end with my lawyer to see to it that she doesn’t get away with this—with any of it. No, I can’t promise you anything right now. I can’t tell you what you want to hear. All I have is this.” He reaches out and grabs my hand, placing it over his chest, over his heart. It’s beating wildly, slamming against my hand like a hammer. “You’ve done something to me, Anya. Please. Stay.”
My gaze lifts to his and I’m enraptured, caught in the trance of his baby blues and the sincerity that oozes from them, filled with promise, fueled by hope. I can’t look away, but I know I have to if I value any sense of self-preservation.
I pull my hand from his chest. “I’m going back to my cabin. I can’t do this right now. I need some space.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Do not argue with me, Anya. I’m coming and that’s final.” He hurries over to the nightstand to grab his car keys and I collect my things, walking quickly to the door. So much for space. Tanner’s on my heels, holding the front door open for me. The second we’re outside, he drops his sunglasses over his eyes and helps me into the car. I remain silent, trying to think of a way to sneak away from him when we get back to the ship.
“You’re upset,” he says, voice quiet.
My fingers press down, curling over my knees. I turn my gaze to the passenger window to avoid his, which is raking over me from behind his dark sunglasses. “Pay attention to the road.”
“Don’t get fresh with me.”
“You do realize that’s an old saying, right? Like, ancient.”
“And you do realize I don’t give a fuck, right? Like, at all.”
“God,” I exhale, “why must you be such a damn arse?”
“Why is it so hard for you to just admit what’s really bothering you?”
My head snaps in his direction. “You know exactly what’s bothering me. You!”
“You love it when I get you all hot and bothered.”
“Quit being smug!”
“You wouldn’t want me any other way, Miss Banks.”
I suppress the urge to stomp my foot like a child. Every nerve ending is firing away, tempting me to act out, but I fight to get myself in check, because in just a few minutes, I’ll be back on Trident Voyager with Mr. Too-Smug-For-His-Own-Good-Cruise-Ship-Owner, and there’s a very good chance I might throw his arrogant ass overboard.
“Come on, baby,” he presses, “just say it. You’re jealous.” His hand meets my knee and my traitorous skin burns. “It’s okay. I love it.”
My nose scrunches and I shoot him the nastiest look I can muster. I am most certainly feeling like a twelve-year old right now, but this is what happens when I’m refused space. “I am not jealous. I’m pissed. I want to be alone, but you’re being a stubborn arse. I need to breathe!”
“Jade has you all worked up. And rightfully so. I’m sorry. But I do love you jealous.” He squeezes my knee and leans over to kiss my neck. He smiles and his lips tickle my skin. “It’s a good look on you.”
“Tanner, the road.” I give him a real, honest shove, but it’s pretty futile. There’s no winning with him when he wants something, and right now, he wants the satisfaction of hearing me admit the truth. “Fine. I’m jealous. Now watch the damn road!”
“Was that so hard?”
“Just drive.”
He laughs and I want to stay mad at him, but I just can’t. The closer we get to the ship, the farther we become from the beach house, and the farther we drift from Jade and all she represents. My brain can pretend, for just a moment, that none of the drama exists. All that exists is Tanner, sitting here kissing my neck, and me, grinning like a love-struck teenager.
We park and start our trek toward the ship, and Tanner instantly encloses my hand in his. My gaze drops to the contact, but I don’t comment, just let him lead me toward my cabin. I hastily snatch my key from my purse and let us in, and much to my surprise, Tanner doesn’t pounce the second the door closes behind us. He remains quiet, leaning back against it, watching.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not polite to stare?” I set my things down and wander toward the porthole, opening the drapes. Sunlight spills into the cabin, bathing me in warmth.
“My beautiful, angry girl.”
“And jealous. Don’t forget that one.” My lips twitch as I glance at him over my shoulder. He still doesn’t move, just watches intently, gently tapping his fingers at his side. “Well, aren’t you going to say something? Tell me I’m fresh, order me to get on my knees, pin me to the window? Your work of art awaits your instruction, Mr. Christensen.”
His expression remains pensive, his gaze intense and unyielding. He pushes himself off the door and begins to move into the cabin, skimming his fingers over the top of the dresser. “I think it’s time for a different approach,” he finally says, studying the throw pillows. He lazily slumps onto the bed and tosses one behind his head.
“And what approach would that be?”
A faint smile spreads and with one smooth movement, he sits up and removes his shirt, then goes to work on his belt. I watch as he kicks his shoes off, trying my best not to drool as he drops his pants and lounges back on the bed, stark naked and glorious before me.
“You’re not going to fuck it out of me, Tanner. I don’t want to discuss it. I want to be alone.”
“Who said anything about fucking you? You’re going to fuck me, Miss Banks.”
My body doesn’t ask for permission. It acts on its own accord, my thighs squeezing together as his words send heat rushing down to my knees. “Smug.”
“Fresh.”
My voice goes quiet and I pry my eyes from the delicious male spread out before me. “Sex won’t fix this.”
“No, but it will make it feel better. It’ll give you the assurance you need.”
“Excuse me?”
He gives himself a few strokes and stands to walk toward me, keeping his cock in his hand. I will not look down. I will not look down. “You need to touch me, Anya. You need to feel how I respond to you. How my body craves yours. Yours, not anyone else’s.” He steps directly in front of me and traces his fingers over my lips, letting them travel down over my blouse, then farther south, over my navel. My breath hitches and lips part. He’s pleased, staring down at me as he watches my reaction to his magic.
“Please don’t.”
“More Tanner Christensen 101 for you, baby.” He tilts his head and glances down to resume stroking himself. H
is cock is brushing my abdomen. I can’t look away, but I have to, or he’ll have me on my back in seconds. And then I won’t be able to think straight. I won’t be able to think at all, and that’s exactly what I need to do right now—think—before Jade returns to the ship, Lana loses her job, and I break my own damn heart. All of this is inevitable. Things are getting messier by the second.
But I’ll fight to delay the disaster for as long as I can.
“I run this,” he grips himself harder, pressing against me, “like I run my ship. Tight, hard, and any way I want. But occasionally,” he lifts his head, bringing his lips to mine, “I know when to delegate.” His words are a whisper, and my brain is fuzzy. Just as I’d feared, he’s lured me in, and there’s no escaping his web now. As his tongue dips to meet mine, my chin tilts up, instinctually reaching for more, but he swiftly pulls away and drifts backward, turning for the bed. He leaves me standing there in the lusty haze he’s created, and I suddenly get it. I see his game.
He wants me to come to him.
Tanner sprawls back out on the bed and lifts an arm behind his head. He works himself steadily, his eyes traveling slowly over my body. “I’m at your disposal, Miss Banks. Do with me what you wish.”
I release a breath and carefully study him, contemplating which way I should play his game. Either I give in and give us what we both want, or I stand my ground and force him to leave. I know he will if I insist. But I won’t reject him. Not now. Not ever.
More importantly, I can’t.
I pad over the carpet to join him on the bed, crawling over the comforter to curl against his side and rest my head on his chest. My hand glides over his stomach and I hum against his collarbone. “I’m not cut out for this,” I say quietly.
“Not cut out for what?” He stops stroking himself, and his whole body falls still. His muscles tighten beneath my chin.
“Jealousy.”
“No one is, Anya. If they say they are, they’re lying.”
“I can’t compete with women like Jade.”
“I don’t feel anything for Jade. There’s no competition here.” He shifts and rolls onto his side, brushing my hair over my shoulder. He looks long and hard into my eyes, searching for something. I don’t want to give it to him. I don’t want to give him anything more. The more I give, the more I risk. He’s slowly stealing my heart, and offering it to him means opening a door I’m not sure I’m even ready to open. Not with Tanner, a rich, staggeringly handsome millionaire who plays.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“If it wasn’t Jade, it would be someone else. And then another. You’re always going to be surrounded by gorgeous, wealthy women who want you. And they will always outrank me.”
“Why would you say something like that? Do you honestly think that little of yourself? I’m shocked.”
“It’s reality, Tanner. Your kind and my kind don’t mix. You belong with a Jade. Just preferably one who isn’t taking complete advantage of you. Someone with a heart.”
“Anya, you’re a gorgeous, intelligent, successful woman. If you insist on looking at this as a competition, then you do realize you’re the same kind of threat to these women that you perceive them to be, right?”
“This is exactly why I don’t want to talk to you about any of this.” I shift to roll over and look away, suddenly wanting to crawl into a hole somewhere, but Tanner’s quite possibly the most persistent man I’ve ever met, and he doesn’t let that happen. As I bring my back to his chest, he presses into me, gripping my hip and tugging my chin over my shoulder.
“Why?” He peers down into my eyes, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “Because then I’ll know how you really feel?”
I stare up at him, and the words are caught in my throat.
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t believe that.”
I attempt to turn my face away, but his palm catches my cheek again, sending my gaze right back to his. “What do you want me to tell you?”
“The truth.”
My eyes search his, and once again the words lodge tightly in my throat. He’s just heard the truth. Even worse, he’s called me out on it. I don’t want him to know how I really feel. Not about this. All it does is expose me, and I already feel vulnerable—too vulnerable.
“I’m…I’m…I mean, I think I’m falling for you. And that’s a bad thing, Tanner. Bad all the way around.”
His eyes darken and lips tense as he falls silent. Seconds pass as my pounding heart thumps violently against my chest. Finally he speaks. “Tell me why it’s bad.”
My breath quickens at his words. “You’re going to break my heart, that’s why.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
“You’re getting married. I think that pretty much sums it up.”
“Nothing is final yet. We still have time.” He rubs my earlobe between his fingers but doesn’t let go of my gaze. The heat of his chest beats at my back, and his erection is painfully hard at my hip.
“I don’t want to watch the clock, watch the minutes tick away until…time’s up.”
“We were on borrowed time when we began this, Anya.”
“And then you showed up on my doorstep.”
He looks down at my shoulder. He knows I’m right.
“What you’re asking of me…” I turn my head to rest my cheek on the pillow, “it isn’t fair. You pursued me. You didn’t let up. And now we’re here.”
I hear him swallow hard as he smooths a hand down my arm, stopping when he reaches my hip. His voice is quiet, piercing the cabin’s thick silence. “Please don’t push me away. Not yet.”
My eyes close and I inhale, holding the breath ransom as if it can somehow save me. “I don’t think I can, even if I want to.” Slowly reaching behind me, I allow my fingers to brush his abdomen. His lips make contact with the back of my neck and tickle my skin, bringing a smile to my face. Silence spills around us again, punctured only by the exchange of our breath, my mouth searching for his as I look back over my shoulder.
His hand holds my hip firmly in place, keeping me stationed on my side. “Anya,” he whispers against my lips, “you’ve become my anchor, baby. I’m not coming up for air until you release me.” Our mouths still don’t touch. Only our breath, our lips less than an inch apart. Quietly, carefully, he dips his hips forward, gliding his cock between my legs. He enters me on a broken sigh and my eyes drift shut, savoring the sensation. And I feel it then. I’m too late. He says I’m his anchor, but he’s the one who’s taken me under. I’m already at the bottom of the ocean.
We might just drown together.
FOUR
Saturday morning is a whirlwind. All I can do is pace my cabin, praying that Lana calls soon. I can’t stop watching the phone. It sits there on the bedside table, taunting me. Since our run-in with Jade at the beach house on Alvita, Tanner and I have been sneaking around the ship like high schoolers. A stolen kiss here¸ a desperate rendezvous in a storage room there. It’s been nothing but a frantic storm of emotion since admitting I’ve developed some kind of feelings for him. I still don’t know what those feelings are, exactly. I only know they’re a threat, and that I want to eliminate them as quickly as possible.
There’s a sharp knock at the door and I immediately jump into action, lunging for the phone. When my fingers grasp the edge of the bedside table, I huff and start laughing. I throw my head back in exasperation and walk to the cabin door.
“Are you still waiting around for a phone call from Lana?” Tanner asks. He glances left to right, scanning the hallways for onlookers, and slides past me into the cabin. “She just boarded this morning. She’ll be working. It will be at least a day or two before you hear from her. You should get out, go get some sun on the pool deck. Enjoy yourself.”
“No. I know Lana. She’ll call as soon as she can. I have to stop her before she ruins her career. I need to tell
her to forget this whole thing.”
Tanner gently grips my shoulders. “Lana is a competent, tenacious woman. You don’t need to worry about her. She won’t do anything she isn’t comfortable doing.”
“You don’t know Lana like I do. When she’s fired up—when someone crosses me—she comes out swinging. She can be a loose cannon. It’s one thing that Jade meddled with my job, but now Lana is putting hers on the line. All for nothing.” Tanner’s fingers tighten on my shoulders. My eyes flick to his. They’re churning in thought, the wheels in his mind working on overdrive. “There has to be another way. You said you have the best lawyer in the Southeast. Let him handle this.”
“He is the best. He’s doing everything he can, I assure you. But Lana is determined, Anya. She’s going through with this, and I don’t think there will be any talking her out of it. I know it’s not what you want to hear, baby. But it is already too late. She’s on the Crown Jewel. She’s on her way to Aruba. Please. Get your swimsuit on and go relax on the deck.”
“Maybe later.” I turn and take a seat on the edge of the bed, gaze returning to the telephone. My legs are crossed and my fingers are antsy, tapping impatiently on my thigh.
Tanner moves swiftly toward me and takes my hand. “Come on. Up you go.”
“I said maybe later.”
“If you refuse to get out of this cabin and enjoy the cruise, then you’re coming with me. I have something to show you.”
“What? But—” He tugs my hand and I jerk forward, stumbling behind him to keep up. He moves quickly, guiding me out the cabin door and into the hallway, his stride hard and determined. He doesn’t let go of my hand. I struggle to continue keeping up, but eventually catch my breath when we reach a little stairwell, tucked along the left side of the corridor, near the end of the hall.
We jog down the stairs and Tanner retrieves a key from his pocket, popping open a door at the bottom of the platform. “Watch your step.” He flicks on a light and reaches back to take my hand again, helping me down more stairs. They lead into a quiet, secluded, carpeted room. No windows, only a chaise lounge, an antique secretary desk, and wall-to-wall books. They line the entire room, claiming every inch of free space.