He looked at me. “I don’t know when you left the card. It could have been weeks ago on Valentine’s. But I didn’t see it until Sunday night. It really got to me, Jennalyn, so thank you.”
I smiled timidly and told him the card was my word for the year and how I had made one for all the DOEs. Those words were meant for my weary heart, and yet they found their way to Joel’s.
He pressed the button on the mixer, blending the sugar, heavy cream, and mascarpone with expertise and a smile. He pulled a teaspoon from the drawer and tasted the mixture before setting the bowl aside to pull out what he called a simmering pot. He turned the flame on our gas stove to high, and I watched as he poured in the measured orange juice, balsamic vinegar, and orange zest.
“All I know is that I thought the message was for me,” Joel said. “But I still wasn’t ready to come home. I didn’t want to go to my parents’ place. It didn’t feel right to go to a hotel. The only safe person I could think of talking to was Todd. I’m just grateful that he answered my text and let me show up at his place. We talked for a couple of hours.”
Joel lowered the heat and kept stirring, setting the timer for five minutes. He handed me a knife and the colander of rinsed fresh figs. “Down the center,” he said. “And back in the colander.”
I took that to be chef-talk for how to cut the figs and where to put them. He returned to the simmering pot and kept stirring.
“I showed Todd the card with the verse. I told him I was ready to give up, lose faith, abandon hope. He said I had an issue with love.”
“What did he mean by that?” I knew Christy’s husband could be direct and that he often had a big-picture, eternal sort of view on life. Even so, I had a hard time imagining Todd telling my husband that he had an issue with love.
“You know how I came to Christ right before I met you?” Joel said. “When I surrendered my life to God, I transferred my allegiance to the Lord. But maybe I didn’t transfer my love.”
“I’m still not sure what that means.”
“Todd showed me the verse in Luke where Jesus told the disciples the most important thing was to love God.”
I knew the verse he was referring to. I had read it when I was doing the search on the word love. I repeated it to Joel, “ ‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ ”
“That’s the one.” He looked at my sliced mound of figs. “Nicely done.”
Joel took the colander of figs and slowly poured them into the fragrant glaze simmering in the pot. He had prepared a cookie sheet with parchment paper and set the oven to broil.
“My priorities got messed up. I would say that, when I was in my teens and twenties, I was in love with myself. I put myself first. Then I fell in love with you, and I put you first, or at least most of the time. When the restaurant opened, it became my first love. Does that make sense? I kept transferring my allegiance and worshipping what I thought was the most important thing in life at the time. With the restaurant, it was about being successful. Making my dad proud of me.”
“Your parents are very proud of you.”
He nodded slowly, thinking as he was cooking. I watched as Joel used tongs to remove each of the saturated fig halves and place them on the parchment paper, cut side up. He set the timer for six minutes and slid the tray into the oven.
“I don’t think that’s supposed to be my goal in life. I think I’m supposed to love God first, with my whole being. Then I’m to love my neighbor in the same way I love myself.” Joel grinned. “And it just so happens, you are my closest neighbor.”
“Hello, neighbor.” I grinned back at him.
“I love you.” He looked at me with clear-eyed sincerity. “You and the kids. And our family, friends, and coworkers. But I need to love God first. Do you know what I’m saying? I had it messed up.”
I nodded and thought about all the times I had admired Christy and Todd’s relationship. Their love for God and for each other seemed unwavering. Not that they didn’t have difficulties, but I could see how they had the same foundation to go back to and rebuild together whenever the incoming grenades of life had blown holes in their relationship.
“After talking with Todd I knew I didn’t want to have a life where I was off building my career while you’re here alone building a home and raising our children. We need to figure out how to do this together so that we’re shoulder to shoulder, building our lives together.”
“That’s what I want too.”
Joel’s eyes and expression appeared the clearest, least burdened I had seen in years. I smiled at him and felt the blissful gift of springtime. Fresh new beginnings. Revived hope.
The timer chimed, and Joel pulled the caramelized figs from the oven.
“Those smell so good.” I drew in another breath of their sweetness.
“Grab a couple of blankets,” Joel said. “Let’s take these out on the deck.”
I pulled the throw blankets from the basket by the sofa and took them outside. Instead of turning on the bright security light, I went to the laundry room and found in the cupboard every tea candle, lantern, and battery-operated luminary I could find. I loaded them in a laundry basket and took them outside, scattering them on the deck around the two lounge chairs.
Joel joined me with the plate of warm figs now capped with fluffy mascarpone topping. He placed the plate on the low table between the two loungers and returned to the kitchen. Settling on a lounge chair under a blanket, I gazed up at the sky. A few stars were visible despite the glow that rose from our densely populated suburbs.
My mind was filling with artistic ideas of what we could do with this outdoor space.
When Joel came out balancing two cups of espresso on a small tray, I smiled.
“What?” he asked. “I know that look. You want to do something or make something, don’t you?”
“You know it.”
“I know you,” he said. “I know your looks.” Joel stretched out his legs. “And I like your looks very much.” He grinned and reached for one of the warm figs, lifted it, and waited for me to salute him with mine. “Bon appétit.”
We both closed our eyes. I took a bite and let the combination of flavors roll over my tongue and down my throat. “Wow,” I murmured.
“Nice,” he echoed. “I think I would add a pinch of nutmeg next time. Or a dash of clove. No, not clove—too strong. It needs something.”
“I like it. It’s different. I can’t remember the last time I had a fig.”
Joel tried another bite and followed it with a sip of his perfectly prepared frothy espresso. “A bit of crushed walnuts, I think. That’s what I’ll try next time.” He looked up. “Okay. I’m ready. Let’s hear your creative idea.”
I rambled. I know I did. I didn’t need to go on and on, expressing every patio decorating idea that was flitting through my head. But Joel didn’t mind. He listened, evaluating my ideas all the way through.
When I finished, he said, “How about if I get somebody out here this week to give us an estimate? You can describe the pergola and all the add-ons you’re considering, and he can draw up the plans for whatever works best for this space.”
“That would be wonderful.”
My lips lingered on the edge of the demitasse espresso cup as I thought about what Joel had said in the kitchen.
“Can I ramble about something else?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“When you were talking about loving God above all else, it helped me understand how I’ve been off track for years too. In high school, my focus was on Garrett. Then I transferred all my affection and loyalty to my mom. She was my closest friend. When you came into my life, you took over as my top priority. Over the last year, I think I shifted my first love to our children. I want to learn how to love God first too.”
&nb
sp; Joel reached out and took my hand.
“We’ll figure it out together,” he said. “We need to do a lot more talking. With each other, with the Lord. We can’t go back to living two separate lives and only overlapping when we go to bed.”
I gave his hand a squeeze. “I agree.”
Chapter 25
The morning of our Spring Fling get-together, I found nothing in my closet that came close to the dress code Sierra had suggested. “Boho chic” was the name Emily gave it. Tess had added to the group text, “Spare not the accessories.” I wasn’t sure what the others were doing with Tess and Sierra’s enthusiastic vision. My options were limited.
I dashed out with both kids and headed to the chain store by the dance studio. As I pushed the cart, I was grateful that Eden hadn’t recognized the studio or brought up anything about Violet. She never had asked if her friend “By-let” could come play, the way she asked if she could go to Hana and Cole’s house.
My quick grab was a floral-print maxi dress with bell sleeves and a long necklace that had a tassel and turquoise blue beads. Eden picked out the dress, which looked like something Sierra would wear, so I was feeling confident that my boho game was going to be strong that evening.
Joel came home at four. I was amazed that on a Saturday he could step away from the restaurant for the whole night. That had never happened before. The changes he was making were having an immediate effect.
He grinned when he saw me coming down the stairs in my flowing dress and several long necklaces, including the new one.
“Aren’t you the belle of the ball,” he said with a grin.
“She’s not a bell,” Eden said. “She’s Mommy. Isn’t she pretty?”
“She’s beautiful.” Joel still was grinning. “I like the flowers in your hair.”
I had pulled a section of my hair to the side and made a single, narrow braid into which I had tucked half a dozen tiny blue flowers that grew on a bush we ignored on the side of the house.
“What about me, Daddy? Don’t I look pretty too?”
Eden had joined the dress up fun and put on a dress over the top of her Christmas nightgown from GiGi. The nightgown was the longest “dress” in her closet. I guessed the extra dress was her idea of how to make her outfit look flowy. She wore a colored macaroni necklace that she had made last summer with Emily’s daughter, Audra.
“You look very beautiful too,” Joel said.
Eden beamed and gave us a twirl.
“Do you need help loading anything?” Joel asked.
“No, Sierra is setting up the beach table, and Christy is bringing the pillows. Everyone is bringing something. I have the food ready to go.”
The doorbell rang. Joel reached over and opened the door. Christy was standing there, and the moment we saw each other, our mouths opened, and we burst out laughing.
We had on the same dress.
“Where did you get yours?” she asked.
I told her the store and confessed that I had grabbed it at eleven that morning.
“That’s where I got mine. Last night.”
Joel didn’t seem to get why going to a party in matching outfits was funny, but Christy and I thought it was hilarious.
I kissed my sweethearts goodbye, and Christy and I took her car, which was loaded with pillows and blankets in the back seat. We were in Corona del Mar and nearly to the remote beach cove that Sierra had suggested as our picnic location when Christy said, “I almost forgot to tell you the good news. The deadline to register for the marriage retreat was yesterday and…”
“You’re going? You got the money in time to register?”
“Yes! Todd is doing a backyard-deck renovation or something like that in Costa Mesa. The work doesn’t start until we get back, but they paid him ahead of time. It’s crazy. He said he knew the guy, and Todd is looking forward to working on it. I’m so grateful.”
I smiled and said I was so happy for her. That was all I said.
Todd had recommended a contractor to Joel for building the pergola and the other additions we wanted to make to our deck. Todd had worked for the guy a few years ago, before Todd started teaching. In turn, Joel had requested that Todd be the one to do the building. I was surprised that the arrangements had been made so quickly.
Christy would find out soon enough that the project was our backyard. Until then, I loved seeing how excited she was about Maui. I was getting excited too.
We found a good parking place near the remote beach. Before we left the car, Christy handed me a small gift bag that she pulled out of her purse.
“Here. I wasn’t sure when I would give this to you. I found it the other day, and I had to buy it for you.”
“Christy…”
“Remember what Tess said? You never protest when a sister gives you a gift. You say thank you, you give her a little kiss on the cheek, and then you wear it like you deserve to look as gorgeous on the outside as you are on the inside.”
I grinned and opened the bag. Inside was a bottle of nail polish. “This is so sweet. For our mother-daughter pedis. Thank you, Christy.” I leaned over and gave her the little kiss on the cheek as Tess had taught us.
Christy was still grinning, waiting and watching my reaction.
I looked at the polish again. It was red. I turned the bottle over and read the name, even though I didn’t need to. I knew what the label would say.
“Oh My, Cherry Pie.”
Christy smiled broadly. The glistening tears in her eyes matched mine.
“This might be the best gift anyone has ever given me.”
“I’m glad you like it,” Christy whispered. She hugged me, and as we pulled apart, our long necklaces tangled together.
We laughed hard. I had to remove the turquoise tassel necklace and loop it around her neck since it was caught on one she was wearing.
We were still laughing as we toted our baskets of food down to the beach. The moment Sierra and Emily looked up and saw Christy and me coming toward them in our matching long dresses, they stopped setting up the low beach table and stared. Their wide-eyed expressions changed to a moment of confusion as they glanced at each other and then back at us.
Christy caught on to their reaction sooner than I did and laughed. “Before you ask, the answer is no. We didn’t plan this!”
Emily returned with us to Christy’s car, and all three of us filled our arms with the assortment of pillows and blankets. We heard our names and turned to see Tess as she strolled toward us.
Her off-the-shoulder peasant-style embroidered top was cinched by a wide leather belt around her narrow waist. The full tapestry-like skirt skimmed the ground as she came toward us on red and purple slippers with stars appliqued on the toes. She looked as if she were modeling for an elegant gypsy woman magazine. No one in the world could pull off an outfit like that and look regal the way Tess did. A wide silk scarf held back her hair, with the long tail flowing over her bare shoulder.
Before any of us could summon a hello, Tess stopped, pointed at Christy and me, and said, “Hey, I have that dress! In yellow.”
Our mixed laughter sounded like wind chimes to me on the gorgeous evening as we set up our special gathering in Sierra’s recommended hideaway. She had brought a long, low table that was set up on the sand. It was covered with a swath of sky-blue fabric. Tess brought candles, including two white tapers in mismatched candleholders. She gave up trying to light the candles since the breeze off the water kept blowing them out.
“Guess I didn’t think about that,” Emily said. “Good thing everyone else brought something to help hold down the tablecloth.”
Tess added a gorgeous low floral centerpiece with exotic-looking tropical flowers. Christy put her small-sized white plates at each place setting. I had brought our initial mugs but left them in my basket because Christy had brought peach-tinte
d juice glasses.
To Sierra’s delight, Tess had brought her blue goblets with the polka dots and several small ceramic bowls that she said were for our olive pits. I had a pretty good idea that she had created one of her scrumptious charcuterie boards for us.
I helped Christy spread out the beach blankets on the sand on either side of the table and scatter all the colorful pillows so we could recline on them like ladies of leisure in our flowing outfits.
I commented on Emily’s cute outfit as she was taking a picture of our set table. She was wearing a simple long gauze skirt, and her top was a scoop-neck white T-shirt. Over that she wore the highlight piece: a long crocheted vest with a dozen different saturated sunset tones descending from pink to orange to red. She wore a darling gold starfish on a long chain around her neck and had a matching starfish hairclip that pulled back her short, feathery hair on the right side. She gave a twirl to show off the unusual vest. Only someone as winsome and dainty as Emily could make a vest like that look like an artistic charmer.
“And, Sierra,” I said. “I love your outfit too. It’s so you.”
Her poet’s blouse flowed over a long, layered skirt that was a rich olive-green color. Sierra tipped the brim of her big floppy hat, drawing attention to the yellow-and-green striped scarf around the crown. She had on her usual rows of bracelets and several beaded necklaces as well as dangling beaded earrings. If she took off the hat, she would look much like she always did.
“I brought iced mint tea with pomegranate juice,” Christy said. “If that doesn’t sound good to any of you, I also brought fresh squeezed orange juice. And wedges of avocado toast. One of Todd’s students blessed us with a bag of oranges and a bunch of avocados.”
“Nice!” Tess held up a fancy box tied with a purple ribbon. “Don’t judge me. You all know I don’t bake or sew, but I know where to buy the best chocolates in Southern California.”
“Nobody here is judging you,” I said. “Believe me.”
“I also brought a mini charcuterie since everyone seemed to like it so much before.” Tess carefully uncovered a square plate with raised sides. We admired the colorful mosaic of finger foods, including the aforementioned plump Kalamata olives.
Being Known Page 23