by Ryan Michele
She’s always quick to point out the obvious and her tongue can be razor sharp, but she’s family and good people. I smile down at her stone-cold face, one that never reveals much emotion. “I was working my way over here.”
“Um-hmm.”
I wink at her.
“Well, I kept your woman company till you got here. She’s all yours now.”
Paige almost chokes on the beer she’s sipping, and is quick to deny the fact. “I’m not his woman!”
Mama Ray lets out a huff of laughter as she climbs off her barstool. She leans to Paige’s ear before she walks away. “Doll, you seem to be the only one here that doesn’t know it.”
Paige’s mouth drops open and she glares at me like I told everyone. I didn’t.
“Let’s go,” I say.
She raises her eyebrows at me, and then turns back to the bar and ignores me.
“Paige.”
She won’t even look at me.
“Babe, come on. We need to talk.”
“No. We have nothing to talk about, Wicked.”
She’s pissed about me leaving this morning without saying goodbye. I know that’s what this is about. But her ignoring me in front of my brothers is yanking my chain, and after a day like today, I’m not in the best mood. I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull her off the barstool. With my hold on her tight, I move purposefully toward the stairs.
“What the hell are you doing?” she snaps, pulling back and drawing the attention of more than one of my brothers. She digs her heels in, but it doesn’t even slow me down.
I hear Sandman’s laughter echo through the room at the show we’re putting on. “Cutie pie, you need some help?”
I swear to God, he tries to interfere or lay one hand on her, I’ll break his arm. I connect eyes with Blood as I round the pool table.
He smirks, but looks away. “Looks like I won the pool.”
Christ, now they’re betting on this shit? That’s how crazy this woman has me, and I don’t give a damn. Let them have their fucking fun. I hate that it’s at my expense, but so be it. Paige is all that matters right now.
Bam Bam looks up from his game of pool, clueless as usual. “What? What’d I miss?” He locks eyes on us. “Oh, hell. Goddamn, Paige-y, I thought you’d hold out longer than this. I had eighteen days.”
“What?” she asks, stunned.
“In the pool. I picked eighteen.”
“What!” Her voice comes out in a high squeak.
“Hey, don’t be pissed. I only got one square in the pool. Sandman bought four.”
“You bet on me? Like a fucking football pool?”
“Come on.” I pull her toward the stairs. “You can come down later and give them all hell. Right now, we’ve got a conversation to have.”
Sandman snickers. “Conversation, huh? That some new slang the kids are calling it these days?”
Paige pulls back, knocking my hand away. “I’m not going anywhere with you! I’m leaving!”
“You want to do this the hard way, we can,” I threaten.
Her brows shoot up and she slams her hands down on her hips, leaning into me. “Don’t you threaten me, Wicked.”
Sandman laughs again. “You tell him, cutie pie.”
“Stay out of this!” I snap at him.
She whirls to leave, but I grab her arm and spin her back around. Before she can utter another word, I heft her over my shoulder and head to the stairs. She kicks her feet. “Let me go!”
I smack her ass. “Settle down and behave. We’re just gonna go have a talk.”
She’s quiet, but I know she’s fuming as I trudge up the stairs with the laughter from my brothers following us.
I carry her into my room and with a hand to the door I bat it shut. Standing with my back to it, I set her down, positioning myself between her and the only way out. One look at her flushed face tells me how this is gonna go. Oh yeah, she’s pissed all right.
She lifts her arm angrily toward the door. “We’re a laughing stock now! Are you happy?”
“We? You, maybe, I wasn’t the one with my ass in the air.” She sucks in a breath, and okay, I admit that was a low blow. “Relax, Paige. The teasing will stop and they’ll get used to us together.”
“Oh no, they won’t, and there is no us.”
“I think last night proves you wrong.”
“I told you it was only one night and that’s all it could ever be.”
“Like hell, baby girl. I want more. I’ll always want more, and if you’ve got the guts to be honest, Paige, so do you.” She rolls her eyes at me and that just pisses me off. “Go ahead—deny it. I dare you.”
“Fine, I want you. So what?”
“So what?” Is she kidding me with this shit?
“I mean nothing to you. I’m just another fuck.”
I grab her arm again and yank her to me, anger surging through me at her ridiculous words. “Stop it! You know that’s not true, Paige, you know it!”
“Do I? Then why’d you leave without a word this morning? Do you know how that made me feel? Do you have any idea?”
“I got a call out from the club. You’ve been an ol’ lady. You know how that goes. How many times did Ransack leave you naked in bed to answer the club’s call?
She shoves me away. “Shut up. Don’t ever talk to me about my life with Ransack again. Do you understand me?”
I exhale a long, slow breath, trying to calm my shit. If that’s the way she wants to play it, I can accommodate her. I’ll never mention his name again. But we’ve still got a conversation to have—one we never got around to last night. Not that I’m complaining. Last night was a fantasy come true and conversation would have just fucked it up. But there is something I want to know. “Fine. Then answer me one question.”
“What?”
“Why’d you leave town?”
She hesitates, confused by my change of topic and then looks like she’s trying to come up with a plausible answer. “There were too many memories here.”
I get that. I do. But it’s not the answer I’m looking for so I push for more. “That the only reason?”
“Does there have to be more than that?” she snaps back.
Damn, the girl’s got grit. I clench my teeth and her eyes drop to the tick in my jaw. “That last day … when you loaded up and pulled off?”
“Yes?” Her voice is suddenly soft and unsure, like she’s wondering where I’m going with this. I hope she’s ready for my confession.
“Tore my heart out watching you drive away. Did you know that?”
Paige sucks her lips into her mouth; it’s something she does when she’s nervous. Her eyes glaze over and she whispers, “Please don’t do this. Let’s not complicate this anymore than we already have. We agreed this would just be one night.”
“Bullshit. I never agreed to that.”
“Travis,” she whispers softly. Just that one word—my name on her lips—and all the anger deflates right out of me.
“I can’t help it, Paige. I gotta lay it all out there. You’ve been in my heart for a long time, longer than you know. If I had met you first that night—”
She finishes the sentence for me. “—it would have been us.”
I know her words are true. Hearing her say them out loud, finally, after all these years has my throat closing around a lump. Jesus Christ, when I think of all that could have been … how different our lives would have gone. Maybe we’d have children; maybe I would have given her that baby she always wanted. Maybe we would have been happy. Maybe we still can be. “Paige.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t.”
Like that’s going to stop me. Nothing is going to keep me from finishing this long overdue conversation. We’re going to have this out—to the end. “Why did you leave, Paige? Why did you really leave? Tell me the truth. Give me that much.” Goddamn, I sound like I’m pleading, and I suppose I am. Christ, this woman could put me down on my knees, and that’s a scary thought for a badass like
me. Thankfully, she has mercy on me and gives me what I want, what I need more desperately than air.
“Because I had feelings for you, Wicked, and I was afraid,” she says the words quietly, not meeting my eyes, and reverting back to my club name. She’s throwing up walls, putting distance between us, or trying to at least, but I won’t let her. Still, her words throw me.
“Afraid?” I frown. “Afraid of what? Of me?” My voice is gruff, as I demand an answer.
She shakes her head, and finally looks deep into my eyes and into my goddamn soul as I watch a tear slowly roll down her cheek, and she admits, “I was afraid I might act on those feelings.”
I blow out a long breath as the iron chains that have been contracting around my chest for weeks now finally begin to loosen, and suddenly I can breathe again. That’s what her confession does for me. But it’s not enough. I want more, and I realize I’ll always want more with this woman. I’m a greedy son-of-a-bitch when it comes to Paige.
“I have to go,” she murmurs, her eyes already on the door behind me.
Oh, like hell. She’s not walking out on me now. Not after that. She moves to brush past me, but I grab her by the upper arm and pull her back around. “You’re not leaving. Not yet.”
“What do you want from me?” she pleads, her tear-streaked face staring up at me.
“I want to know the answer to the questions I’ve always wondered. I want to know if the look I see in your eyes is a lie … if the way your mouth goes soft and you tremble at my touch is a lie. I want to know if every signal you’ve ever given me has all been a lie.” I hesitate because saying the words seems so final. But I call up the guts to lay it all out there for her. “I want to know if you want me like I want you … if it’s more than just sex you want from me.”
“Yes,” she breathes, so softly I’m not sure I hear it.
“Yes, what?” I demand, my voice rough, like I just choked down gravel. I feel like I have. I feel like if I don’t get the answer I want—the answer I need—my throat will close up and I won’t be able to speak. Hell, I won’t be able to breathe. “Yes, what, Paige?”
“Yes, I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” she whispers, and then shakes her head like she wants to take it all back. But I’ll be damned if I’ll let her, not when I’ve waited so fucking long to hear those words.
My hands close over her upper arms and I drag her against me. “Say it again. Say it like you really mean it.”
“I mean it, Travis.” She gasps out a sob. “It’s so wrong, but it’s true. And I hate myself for it.”
Fucking hell, those words gut me. “Don’t say that,” I growl and cup her cheek.
“Don’t you see?” she cries. “I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t want you to hold me. I shouldn’t want you to kiss me. I shouldn’t want you to make love to me. It’s all so wrong.”
“No, it’s not. Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that again. Don’t even think it, Paige. You deserve to be happy. Ransack wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life pining for him, bringing flowers to his fucking grave every week, and crying for a man that won’t ever be here for you again. Hell, he wasn’t here for you when he was alive.”
Her palm cracks across my cheek so fast, I’m stunned, my head’s reeling from the blow. I feel the sharp sting and I see her pull her hand back, covering her mouth like she’s just as shocked as I am by the violence that exploded out of her. My jaw clenches, but I can’t be angry with her. I deserve that, that and much more.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “No, I’m the one who should be sorry. I overstepped.”
“Travis—”
I hold my hand up, cutting her off and stepping back. “It’s all up to you, Paige. You want me to leave you alone, I will.
She stares at me for a long moment, and I’m surprised she’s not already heading for the door, escaping this confrontation. But she stands still, so still, as she looks at me with an unguarded expression, letting me see the emotion welling up inside her, letting all her walls down. Finally she whispers, “You’re the reason.”
I frown, pausing, not sure what she’s talking about. I ask gently, “I’m the reason for what, Paige?”
Her eyes hold mine. They don’t drop away or shift nervously around the room. They stay locked on mine. “The reason I came back.”
I feel like all the air in the room was just sucked out, and I have to inhale a shaky breath. That’s how powerful her admission is.
“I loved Ransack. I did.”
“I know you did.”
“I betrayed him—every time I looked at you.” She dips her head, tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m so ashamed.”
Her sobs wrench at my heart. “Look at me, Paige.”
She shakes her head, sobbing harder. “I can’t. It hurts too much.”
I take her chin and make her look at me. “You never betrayed Ransack. We never did a thing while you were married. And I never would have. He was my brother.”
“I thought about it, though. That’s just as bad.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “No, babe. It’s not. You were a good ol’ lady to him. He never doubted your love for him. Never. Not for one minute.”
Her hands reach for my ribs and she buries the crown of her head against my chest. I press my lips to her hair, breathe in her scent, and wonder how I can take this pain away from her. My words seem to have no effect. Hell, I’d always been better at action, and that’s what I fall back on now. I heft her up and her legs wrap naturally around my waist. In two steps I’m at the bed, taking her down to the mattress as I stretch out on top of her.
She looks up at me, and I want to drown in the depths of those wide blue eyes as I brush the tears from her face. I’ve never been very good at tenderness, but with her, it comes naturally. That’s how connected I feel to Paige. Can she see it in my eyes? Can she feel it in my touch? My kiss?
I glance down at her lips and can’t resist. I press my mouth to hers, gently, coaxing the response I know will come. I know because that’s how good we are together. With her it’s like no other woman I’ve ever been with, everything just settles into place inside me. Everything feels right in the world. Everything and anything seems possible with Paige.
But I know she’s got to let go of Ransack before she can truly let me in. And I want in, more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. Maybe even more than I wanted the club. I hate admitting that, but I’m beyond lying to myself. I’m done with that. I’m done with pretending I don’t feel.
If I learned anything from Ransack’s death, it’s that life is short. You have to grab all the happiness you can and hold on to it. And that’s what I plan to do.
I pull back to stare into her eyes, then press my lips to her forehead. I feel her hands slip under my cut and grab my T-shirt, clenching and pulling me closer. I can’t get closer, but I know how she’s feeling. I feel the same—that I can’t get close enough. “I love you, Paige. I have for a long time.”
“I love you too, Travis.”
I brush my thumb along her cheek, stroking softly. “Let him go, baby. Let him go and make room for me in your heart. Can you do that?”
Her eyes search mine and I hang on her answer, waiting, hoping, and yes, praying.
Finally, she nods. “It’s time. I know it is.”
I nod back at her. “It’s our time now. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you happy if you’ll let me.”
Finally I see the smile I’ve waited a lifetime to see, and it’s radiant, full of love, and shining up at me. At long last, that smile is all mine, and I know I’ll do anything to keep it there.
Paige owns me heart and soul, and I know there’s no line I won’t cross to keep her.
If you enjoyed My Brother’s Old Lady—please check out my books.
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Heart & Soul by Nina Levine
Introduction
To love, loyalty, and a little mayhem.
And women with grit.
“Here’s to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them.”
A Note from the Author
Dear Reader,
If you’ve read my Sydney Storm MC series, you’ve met Tatum. She’s my favourite female character I’ve written in this series. Possibly my favourite out of all my books I’ve written.
This short story is focused more on her than Nitro, because I wanted to explore the love and loyalty she has for all the people who mean something to her. If you’ve read her story, you’ll know she’d given up on people before she met Nitro. I love how he and his family helped breathe life back into her, in the same way she did for them. And I love seeing how far she’s come.
I hope you enjoy this short as much as I enjoyed writing it. And if you’ve not met Tatum yet, you can read her story in my book, Nitro’s Torment.
Nina x
1
Tatum
“I’m not letting you out of my sight today,” Nitro said as he spooned me, sliding his hand over my hip and reaching for my pussy. “Seven days straight of you chasing after Billy’s shit is six days too many.”
My lips curved into a smile. What he wanted to say was seven days of me chasing Billy’s shit was seven days too many. But that was only because he still wasn’t a fan of my boss. I wasn’t sure he ever would be. Nitro was a man who didn’t let shit go easily. Not shit that affected his family, and since he still held a grudge over the way Billy handled his relationship with Nitro’s sister, I didn’t see a change coming soon.
Pressing my ass against his rock-hard cock, I said, “You know I’m a fan of lazy Sundays spent at home, so I’m good with your plan, but you might wanna share it with Dustin.”