The Deepest Cut, (MacKinnon Curse series, book 1)
Page 9
Chapter 9
I stared out the car window, frustrated and angry that my mom had trapped me inside her Mercedes instead of finding a neutral zone in our house to talk.
And all because I’d been out after curfew and didn’t call. Big, freakin’ deal. I’d made it home, hadn’t I?
Things between us had been really bad lately. It’s not that she had done anything in particular. She just irritated me with her constant bitching. “Pick up your room. Put your clothes away. Empty the dishwasher.” Why did she care if my room was picked up or my bed was made anyway? It’s not like anyone else had to see it, and I kept the door closed twenty-four/seven.
My mom cleared her throat. “Do you want to start…or should I?”
I sighed heavily, my breath fogging up the car window. I resisted the urge to draw a smiley face on the glass, knowing it would only piss her off more than she already was.
Feeling her eyes burning into the back of my skull, I turned and looked at her. “What do you want me to say?”
“Maybe start with why you didn’t call.”
I shrugged. “Time just got away from me.”
Her nostrils flared. “Riley, you didn’t get home until two in the morning, and when you did, you stumbled in smelling like alcohol and told me to leave you alone. You’re a child and I’m your mother, and rules are in place for a reason.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady.”
“I was out with my friends and I forgot about the time.”
“You’re only fifteen, Riley. Much too young to be going to parties and drinking, and doing lord knows what else. What has happened to you? Where is my daughter from a year ago? Scratch that, where is my daughter from six months ago?”
She was furious. I could tell by the way the nerve in her jaw jumped, and the way her fingers tightened around the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white.
“All my friends are allowed to go to parties.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“So now you’re calling me a liar?”
She pressed her lips together until they disappeared into a thin line. Her chest rose and fell heavily. “I’m saying I find it hard to believe that any responsible parent would allow their fifteen year-old daughter to party into the wee hours of the morning. I don’t even know who drove you home last night, Riley. It certainly wasn’t a parent.”
“It was Mitch, Sarah’s brother.”
She relaxed a little. “Well, I just hope he wasn’t drinking.”
Actually, he hadn’t been drinking since he had baseball practice in the morning, but I didn’t tell her that because she wouldn’t believe me anyway.
She never believed me.
“What kind of an example are you setting for your brother? He looks up to you, Riley. When he sees you acting out, then he starts acting out too.”
Shane was the perfect child. He was every parents’ dream—a good student and a star athlete. “Shane would never disappoint you.”
Having heard the sarcasm in my voice, she shook her head. “You aren’t a disappointment to me, Riley, but your father and I are concerned. Your grades are slipping and ever since you started hanging out with Ashley—”
“It’s not Ashley’s fault.”
“Well, then why the sudden change?”
I had always been the “good” kid. I got good grades, I did everything my parents told me to do…and I’d felt invisible. I was going through the motions, but when I met Ashley, all that changed. She was different—a year older and exciting, and for whatever reason she liked me. She dressed differently, talked differently, and had hippy parents that let her do whatever she wanted. I liked hanging out with her, and I liked the attention I was getting, especially from guys. It felt good to be recognized—to not just be another face in the crowd.
“See, you don’t even know the answer to that question.”
“Can we just go home?” I asked.
“No, not until we get to the bottom of this. We’ve resolved nothing.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know, Riley.” Her voice became higher by the second. “All I know is that I feel like I’ve been living with a stranger these past months. I can’t get through to you. You won’t even talk to me most days.”
I hated how sad she sounded.
“I miss my daughter,” she said so softly, I barely heard her. But I heard her. Loud and clear
She breathed deeply, and I could tell she was struggling to remain calm. “I have no choice but to ground you for a month.”
“What?” I’d never been grounded a day in my life. Ever—but the thought of being grounded for a month seemed like an eternity. I could envision Ashley and the others going on with their lives, partying, while I sat in my room night after endless night doing absolutely nothing.
I crossed my arms, furious
“This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
“Bullshit.”
She gasped and looked at me with shock. I’d never cussed in front of her before.
That’s when I saw the van pull out in front of us. We were going too fast. I froze, a cry of warning stuck in my throat. My mom saw my reaction though…but it was too late. The front of the car clipped the van’s back bumper and sent our car swerving toward a huge oak tree.
I came awake with a start, my heart racing, sweat pouring off my forehead as I stared at the red neon numbers that read 3:33 on my clock radio. I ran my hands down my face.
I hadn’t had that dream for weeks, and had hoped I never would. It was like ripping off a scab that had already healed—a horrible reminder of the worst day of my life.
If only I could go back and change what had happened. Why had I been such a pain in the ass? Had I just come home by curfew that night, then my mom would be here now and my life would be so different. Shane and my dad’s life would be different. But I had taken her away from us. It was my fault she was dead, and I would never forget that.
“Riley, are you alright?” Ian asked in a gentle voice. He sat in the chair next to the window.
I released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding and nodded. “Yeah, I just had a bad dream.”
“About your mother?”
My stomach clenched. “How did you know?”
“You called out to her in your sleep.”
“You were watching me sleep?”
He motioned to the bed. “May I sit beside you for a little while?”
“Yeah, sure. I could use the company.”
He sat on the edge of my bed. “Your mother’s death is not your fault, Riley.”
“But it was my fault,” I said, blinking back tears. It was a reality I lived with day in and day out. Why else could I suddenly see dead people? Maybe like Ian, I had been cursed.
He reached out, his hand resting on my shoulder. “Yer mum died as she was supposed to. Fate decided that. Not you.”
I’d spent months listening to counselors and teachers tell me the same thing, but no one could convince me differently. I knew the truth, and my mom knew the truth.
Tears ran down my face, and he wiped them away with his thumb. “It’s alright,” he whispered, pulling me into his arms.
Didn’t he know it would never be alright? There was nothing I could ever do or say to bring my mom back. My arms slid around his neck and I rested my cheek against his wide chest. His hand moved up and down my back in a soothing gesture. He smelled like a mixture of the outdoors and a rich, spicy scent I knew I would never forget. I couldn’t remember the last time I had hugged anyone like this, with such desperation, and oddly enough, I didn’t want to let go. I took the comfort he offered and savored the feel of his strong arms embracing me.