Safe (Conquering)

by Ryan Michele

  This was why I knew that Sadie was a bad idea.

  Her words, ‘I’m not looking for a man in my life’ were eating at me. Why? I really didn’t know. Maybe ‘cause I wasn’t looking for a woman in mine either and it was pissing me off that I had this draw to her. Or maybe because I saw the way that Brad looked at her and I never wanted to see another man look at her like that again. Brad eyed her for a quick fuck which was not going to happen.

  I couldn’t believe this was going through my mind. I was the guy who went to a chick’s place, screwed her and then left. No strings, no hurt feelings, just sex. The mutual pleasure of fulfillment and that was all.

  “Damn it,” I said, slamming my hand down on the kitchen counter.

  I needed to get my shit together. I had to pick her up in an hour. What the hell was I thinking taking her out? Really? I swear I was a glutton for punishment.

  It was too late to back out now, and damn, I really didn’t want to. I wanted to get to know her better. I needed to know why her heart was broken. Not that I could fix it, I was just curious.

  And damn if that didn’t piss me off.

  After showering and throwing jeans, a t-shirt, and boots on, I hopped in the truck and started toward Sadie’s house.

  “I’m just gonna see what happens,” I muttered to myself.

  Sitting at the island in the kitchen, I heard Lauryn approach. I knew she had just as late of a night as I did, but tons more work. The fact that she was up this early was surprising.

  “What can you tell me about Landon Ellison?” I blurted out before she even got to me.

  “Why? Thought you were ‘not interested’?” she asked using those stupid air quotes.

  “I’m not. We came to an understanding last night that we’re going to be friends. I was upfront with him about not looking for a man in my life.” Looking away, I finished quietly, “and … he’s coming to get me in a half hour to show me … well, he didn’t really tell me what.”

  “He’s what!” she screeched.

  “What’s wrong?” I was beyond curious about her reaction to this. What was going on that I needed to know? I came from the stance of the best defense was a good offense.

  “Um … well. He doesn’t really do those kinds of things. I mean, look he had some bad stuff happen to him a few years back. And well, he hasn’t been the same since. Are you sure he’s not interested?”

  “I’m sure. I made it clear. I just need to know more about him so I have some kind of idea who he is and … what he’s capable of. What happened a few years ago?”

  Lauryn’s expression tensed at my question. I could see from the look on her face that she didn’t want to tell me. She also understood, without any words being said, about my nervousness of being alone with him.

  “Sadie, he would never hurt you, at least not in the physical sense. His Momma would have his ass in a heartbeat. Not to mention his brothers taking turns.”

  I stared at her, wanting to believe her. I trusted Lauryn. I really did. It was just that my gut didn’t allow me to trust another man. My track record wasn’t so hot.

  “Okay?”

  “Look, he went through some stuff, but I think he should be the one to talk to you about it. It’s nothing horrible, just women problems. Since those problems, he has had a string of fun, but nothing serious.”

  “Oh great … so a playboy who wants to get in my pants and then toss me like the rest. Wonderful. Sounds like a jerk.”

  “No, the women know what they’re getting into. He’s hot, and women fall at his feet. They fall at all the Ellisons’ feet actually …” Her thought trailed off. “But taking a woman out to show her around just for fun has to be a new one.”

  “How do you know all this? Did you sleep with him?”

  Gasping, Lauryn turned and looked me square in the eye. “No, I told you I had a thing for Renzo, but he doesn’t see me. I wouldn’t go for Landon when he’s not the one I want.”

  “I’m sorry. I was just curious because you seem to know a lot about his ins and outs.”

  “No, the entire town knows everyone’s ins and outs. It’s just how it is. Trust me, it majorly sucks when you’re going through some serious shit, but if you need them, they come.”

  “Well, I’ll see how today goes, and hopefully the entire town doesn’t know.”

  “Ha, you’re kidding right? They’ll all know before he pulls up in the driveway. You’ll learn girl. That’s what surprises me the most. Landon doesn’t do this, and the whole town will know.”

  “Well, great. This sounds like a blast,” I muttered, heading up to my bathroom.

  Ten minutes later, I found myself at the bathroom mirror. My auburn hair fell in a mess of waves that no amount of mousse would tame. I loved the way it flowed down my back, but in this heat, it had to go up.

  I did a quick check of my face adding a touch of makeup, making my blue eyes pop. I pulled on my shorts and fitted purple t-shirt. Slipping on my socks and tennis shoes, I headed to the living room to wait for Landon.

  To my surprise, he was already sitting on the couch watching football on Lauryn’s ginormous TV.

  “Hey. You’re here already,” I said while walking to the opposite end of the couch.

  Immediately turning the TV off and standing up, he said, “Lauryn let me in. Hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course.” My body instantly reacted to his closeness. The way his cargo shorts hung low on his hips and his black t-shirt clung to every muscle on his body was a recipe for hot man. His hair was an unruly mess that worked on him, making me smile and weak in the knees.

  Could I last a whole day with this man and not want to rip his clothes off? Sure I could. Sadly, I didn’t feel very convinced.

  “You ready?”

  “Yes. What time do you think we’ll be back? I just wanna let Lauryn know.”

  His face turned inquisitive, like he wanted to ask me something, but immediately changed his expression. “I just wanted to see how the day goes and take it from there, but if you need a time, how about six. If it changes, you can give her a call. Are you scared to be alone with me?”

  “Um … no. I just wanna make sure Lauryn knows when I’ll be back is all.”

  Shit … shit … shit. He could see it. I knew he could.

  “Really Landon, that’s all it is.”

  His eyes narrowed a bit. “It’s just the other night at the bar you didn’t want me to take you home. Then last night when we were alone, it just felt that you wanted to be somewhere else.”

  “I just met you, Landon. Of course I didn’t want to be alone with you, but I’ve gotten to know you now, and it’s fine.”

  Questions filled Landon’s eyes, but he didn’t ask. “Okay let’s head out. We have a busy day.”

  Considering it was nine in the morning, and I wasn’t expected back ‘til six, it was going to be a long day. If I could keep my messed up emotions from flopping all over the place, then that would be great.

  After shooting a quick text to Lauryn telling her when I would be back, I slipped my phone in my back pocket. Had to keep it close. I’d learned that the hard way.

  Landon slipped past me and held the front door open so I could pass. Shocked, stunned, and elated, I didn’t know men actually did this anymore. I was lucky to get a ‘move your ass’ from Rob. To my surprise, Landon wasn’t done.

  When he opened the truck door for me to climb in, I had to stop for a minute. Disbelief crashed into me. He actually opened it up and let me climb in before shutting it. Wow …

  “You act as if a man has never held the door open for you before.” Landon broke through my astonishment.

  “They haven’t. You’re the first,” I said quietly.

  “Really? A beautiful woman needs to have all her doors opened and closed for her. I promise that whenever you’re with me, I’ll always do it for you.”

  I couldn’t hold back my smile. It felt so good to have a man actually give a shit and do something nice for me, eve
n if it was just opening the door. “Thank you.”

  “You’re more than welcome.”

  First, Landon took me for a long drive, taking me on the backcountry roads and showing me where most of the people lived. It was nice and calming. Houses were so far apart; it was like each person lived in their own state, and nothing like Michigan, where our houses were right next door to one another.

  During the drive, my body was calm. I didn’t need to take my anxiety medicine, which was a relief since I left it back at Lauryn’s.

  Landon talked about the people, the community, and the ins and outs of the town. He made this town sound friendly.

  “That’s Ms. Milly’s house.” Landon pointed out the truck window pulling over to the side.

  “Wow.” Ms. Milly’s house was beautiful. It actually looked similar to Uncle Jim and Aunt Maggie’s house. It was two stories tall, but what made it stand out was the huge circle driveway with the beautiful fountain in the middle. The fountain was a massive statue of a woman holding a child.

  The water flowed around the statue’s shoulder, falling across her body, and down to the bottom. It was quite unusual.

  “Ms. Milly has unique taste.”

  I nodded. “Yes, she does, but it is beautiful.”

  “Ms. Milly’s husband designed homes, and he actually designed the driveway to fit the fountain.”

  “He did? Why is it so special?”

  “Ms. Milly liked it, and Mr. Sam loved her, so he did it to make her happy.”

  “Loved?” I didn’t miss this word.

  “Mr. Sam died five years ago. Ms. Milly lives here by herself. She has two girls and they visit, but it’s just her.”

  I turned and looked out the window, sad for Ms. Milly losing her husband, but also happy that she got to experience a man loving her so much that he would do something so special for her. I wondered what that would feel like. “Sad, she’s alone now.”

  If anyone knew what it was like to feel alone, I did. I’d felt miserable for years now. I could relate in that way.

  Landon pulled back on the road and continued the tour.

  Being confined in the cab was a lot easier than I thought. I was initially a bit nervous, but as time went on, I seemed to let my guard down a bit.

  Not to mention he smelled like absolute heaven—all rugged man—no cologne needed. Rob always wore this expensive cologne that smelled horrible, but I never dared tell him that.

  “I thought we’d go to the diner and get something to eat. You okay with that?”

  Surprised at his suggestion, I replied, “Sure, you’re not nervous about everyone seeing us together and having the rumors start flying.” I gave him a small smirk.

  “Ha! You can’t piss on a tree in this town and not have the whole town know you did it. Getting away with anything is impossible. And why would I care if rumors start flying about a beautiful woman and me? Besides, I’m sure they all know we’re together right now anyway. Why not give ‘em something to talk about.”

  Feeling my face flush, I opened my own door and jumped out after he stopped. Shutting the door, I heard him coming my way.

  “I’m not going to apologize for saying you’re beautiful. It’s the truth.”

  “Remember. Friends.”

  “Yep. Friends. And this friend thinks you’re a beautiful woman. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  Breaking eye contact and looking down at the ground, I instantly got an electrical shock when Landon placed his hand on the small of my back. I didn’t flinch or pull away, but I felt my breathing pick up. Trying to control it, Landon led me into the diner, where once again every single eyeball in the place was on me.

  Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, I stood next to Landon, willing myself to hold it together. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a shy person—never have been. I just had a hard time when lots and lots of eyes were focused on me. It took me back to the hospital visits I endured these last few years.

  All of the doctors and nurses would look at me like I was some pathetic freak with sympathy in their eyes. Well, I was … a freak. I mean, who did nothing about an asshole that kept hurting them, but just sat back and waited ‘til the next time.

  I wasn’t surprised that the hospital staff never said a word about my accidents. Rob, being who he was, and his dad, being who he was … they believed my lies.

  I knew it wasn’t smart to lie about what was happening. But I had to protect those I loved. After all, that was why I was here now, wasn’t it?

  If anything ever happened to them because of me, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. It would crush me beyond repair, so having to endure Rob’s little issue was the least I could do.

  “Hi Landon!” a very cute, perky blonde said with excitement, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “Hi Ann. Can we get a table?” When Landon’s hand moved on my back, I actually felt comforted and not afraid. I didn’t know which shocked me more.

  The blonde’s face dropped when she looked at me.

  Looking me up and down, her eyes returned to mine. “Get a good look?” I knew it was a smartass thing to say and the fact that I was in a new town, I shouldn’t be, but I couldn’t help it.

  My comment seemed to have shocked the little blonde as her eyes grew wide and her mouth opened just a slight bit. Not saying a word, the little blonde, Ann, grabbed some menus, and we followed her to the corner booth.

  I glanced over to Landon and saw the most adorable smirk playing on his lips. My mouth must not have offended him, whereas with Rob, it wouldn’t have ended well.

  Sliding into the booth, I instantly lost the heat from his hand. I actually missed it. Landon followed behind me.

  “Have a good lunch,” was all the blonde said as she ran off.

  “Well, Sadie, you’ve got a bit of a smart mouth there.”

  My body instantly froze, preparing itself for what was coming. My spine stiffened, and I felt my face fall blank. I willed my body to take it. I have for years, but those arms would hurt. Then another emotion hit that never had before: disappointment. I wanted more from him.

  With Rob, I always knew what I was getting. I had no ill-conceived notions. I knew what my actions triggered in him and tried my damnedest not to invoke them. My ‘smart mouth’ was one of those triggers, and was why I tried to keep my thoughts to myself.

  But with Landon, I so wanted him to be different. I didn’t want him to be like Rob. I wanted soft and comforting—the way I felt when he placed his hand on my back or looked into my eyes.

  “Sadie … Sadie,” I heard, pulling out of my thoughts.

  Turning to look at him, I saw the tiniest smirk playing on his lips, but I didn’t give myself time to process it.

  “I have to go to the bathroom,” I said, jumping up. I practically ran to the bathroom.

  Damn it, now if I could just find it. Making my way through the diner, I felt the stares boring through my body. I just needed to get away.

  Seeing the restroom sign, I started toward the ladies room and thanked god it was one of those that only had one toilet and locked. After locking the door, I finally breathed. Safe.

  Grabbing my phone, I called Lauryn.

  “How’s it going, girl?”

  “You said he would never hurt me.”

  “What? He didn’t …”

  “No, I went the bathroom before he had a chance.”

  “What do you mean? Landon wouldn’t hurt a fly. I told you that.”

  “Yeah … well, I’m not so sure your theory is right.”

  Looking in the mirror, my skin had gone pale and the expressionless face was staring back at me. I hated that face. My eyes were glazed over like the life had been pulled out of them. I wanted to get away from this.

  “I’ve known the Ellisons my entire life. They’re good people. I promise. Tell me what happened.”

  Instead of answering I asked, “How do you know?”

  “Because they were raised by a mom who wouldn’t
put up with any of her boys physically hurting a woman … ever. She taught them how to be gentlemen. And while Landon has been doing some unconventional things these past few years, he would never hit. Why do you think they’re the most wanted bachelors in town?”

  “I just don’t get it.” I also didn’t understand how Lauryn knew exactly what I was talking about. She didn’t even bat an eye to my concerns. It was as if she knew what happened between Rob and me without a word being spoken. I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or frightened for her.

  “What don’t you get? Explain it to me.” Lauryn’s voice was clipped.

  Avoiding again, I said, “Never mind. I’m fine. I have to go. Landon is waiting for me.”

  “Okay, but call me if you need anything at all.”

  “I will. Bye.”

  Hanging up the phone, I looked back into the mirror. I should leave; just get up and go. He wouldn’t even know I’d left until I was already home, but how to get there would be another obstacle. And then Lauryn’s words played in my head. ‘Landon wouldn’t hurt a fly.’ Really?

  I trusted Lauryn, and I knew she wouldn’t put me in harm’s way if she knew something was wrong. She loved me, and even if she didn’t know the whole story, she knew more than I gave her credit for. She was just giving me the space to deal with it.

  Sucking in a deep breath, and fiddling with my hair, I was finally able to calm down. My guard was still fully erect, but I wasn’t going to run. I believed Lauryn.

  My gut felt like a blender of emotions, and I didn’t know which one to pull out. But something told me that I needed to go back.

  Checking my face one last time, I opened the door to find a woman about to hit me in the head. I ducked on instinct.

  “Oh, sorry dear. I was just going to knock on the door. Are you okay?” the woman with light brown hair and deep concern in her eyes said to me.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’m fine.” Staring at her, she was the epitome of a Southern Belle. She was absolutely beautiful. She came off as woman in her fifties, but she was a knockout and would pass for late thirties, early forties.

  “You’re the new girl staying with the Wright family?” It was more of a statement than a question, but I rolled with it.