by Ryan Michele
“What the hell. You learn all that psychobabble on TV or something?”
“HA. HA. You know I’m right.”
Sighing … Defeat crushed over me. Here I was trying to make myself stronger to not want Sadie, but talking to Lukas made me want her more.
“Bro, she doesn’t want anyone. She told me flat out. That is why we’re going to be friends.”
“She may think that now, but once she gets some of that Ellison charm, she’ll change her mind,” Lukas said, smiling.
“I haven’t used charm for years dumbass. Not really my style.”
“Dumbass, huh?” Lukas stood next to me. “If this is something you really want, you’ll find it and use it.”
Lukas went to leave, but I stopped him. “Bro?”
“Yeah?”
“She doesn’t trust many people. She doesn’t trust me. Meg called her one of my whores today, and it didn’t go so well,” I said sheepishly.
“She what? Why the hell would she do that? Did you stand up for Sadie?”
Pulling my clothes on, I answered, “I tried, but Sadie actually stood up for herself before she walked out. I let Meg have it, but Sadie didn’t hear. I apologized to her, but she just wanted to go home.”
“Ah … so that’s the real reason you were beating the hell out of the bag, huh?”
“Maybe.”
Fuck. Men do not do this feeling shit … seriously, what is wrong with me?
“Look, bottom line is … if you want her, fight for her. Charm her, do things to make her trust you. It’ll take work, but you can do it.”
Blowing out a deep breath and rubbing my hand on the back of my head, I answered, “Yeah.”
“Hey Landon. Doesn’t that job on the Wright guest house start tomorrow? You might need to go check it out and make sure everything’s on schedule.” Lukas smiled and walked out of the locker room.
Climbing in the truck, I headed toward home. How in the hell was I going to get Sadie to trust me? I racked my brain trying to figure something out. Charming her, I could do. But trust was a whole different animal.
Pulling into my driveway, I saw a familiar car. What the hell was she doing here?
Not even getting out of the truck, I pulled up to where Meg stood by her car, her long legs crossed at the ankles. I rolled down my window. “What do ya need, Meg?”
“Hi to you, too. I need to see you.”
“Why?”
“I miss you.”
“You saw me earlier today, when you were a bitch to Sadie.” I knew I was being an ass, but I didn’t want her here.
Meg came up to the truck and leaned in, whispering, “Thought we could have some fun.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
God she was clueless. “I mean no. Get in your car, leave, and don’t come back.”
I saw the rage start boiling so I cut her off. “Look, I told you in the beginning what this was. I told you again in the diner today that it was over. You need to accept it.”
“What does she have that I don’t?” she asked quietly.
“It’s none of your business. Please leave.” Really, it’s not. It’s no one’s. She already saw us together … let go already.
“You need me.”
“I don’t need you. You need to leave.”
Before I knew it, Meg reached into the truck, grabbed my head and began to kiss me. Sickness boiled in my stomach. I liked this before?
I instantly pulled away, pushing her away. “No. Don’t ever do that again. Leave now.”
I saw the spark fly out of her eyes. It would have been heartbreaking, if I had those feelings for her. But I didn’t. Never had. She was just sex.
“You’ll be back,” she whispered, turned, and went to her car. With one last look at me, she climbed in her car and drove away.
I wanted to yell at her, but I wouldn’t because there was no point in it. She wouldn’t get it.
Walking into the house, it was cold and empty just like always. Once, I loved this house. I built it with the intent of having a family in it. It was big—four bedrooms and five baths. I remember drawing up the plans with my brothers. I was so excited to build my own house.
That excitement went to shit about three-fourths into the building process. So, I moved in … alone. I’d never brought a woman here … ever. Oh, many women had tried to get inside including Meg, but had never been successful.
I had a small guesthouse just down the lane. I used to live in it before this house was built with Stacy. That was where I took the women who wanted to fuck. It was easier that way. I hated that place anyway, so why not add to it.
When I was ready to leave, I told them so. I liked my arrangement. I got my kicks and didn’t have these women invading my space.
I didn’t want to taint this home with any of that. This house was supposed to be love, and that left me a long time ago.
Visions of Sadie came to mind. Would she like it here? Shaking my head, I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly.
But I did come to the realization that if I wanted the Wright job done to my standards, I would have to go and manage it myself.
BANG … BANG … BANG …
What in the hell was that? I willed my sleepy eyes to wake up. BANG … BANG … BANG … Jumping out of bed, I threw the shorts and tank top on that were lying on the floor. Running out of my room, I saw Lauryn standing at the island drinking her coffee.
“Lauryn, what the hell is all the banging?” My tone was a little more snippy than normal.
“The guys.”
“What guys?” I barked back.
“Those guys,” she said, pointing out the large windows. Outside were several men, all sweaty, all with their shirts off, working on the deck.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah. I’ve been enjoying the view,” Lauryn said, smiling.
“I bet you have. I’m gonna join you!” I said happily.
I felt like a stalker just sitting in the air conditioning watching them work while they sweated their asses off. But what the hell. After scanning all the men, my eyes landed on the one man that still had his shirt on. His back was to me, but his ass was very delicious.
His baseball cap was turned backward and had a large G on it. Suddenly, he ripped his shirt over his head, and I gasped.
“Holy shit!” I yelled, dropping the soda I grabbed a few seconds ago onto the floor. Good thing I hadn’t opened it yet.
“What?” Lauryn said.
“Over there.” I pointed to the broad shoulders of a man with a large cross tattoo across his back. Above the cross was the name Ellison in awesome graphic letters.
“Do you think that’s …” Before Lauryn could finish her sentence Landon turned around and saw us staring. His wide smile told me he knew what we were thinking. Damn men.
Feeling this pull to him, I needed to say hi. I could see the men outside turning to look at me. What the hell were they looking at?
I opened the door and smiled at Landon. “Hey Landon. Didn’t know you’d be here.”
“You wear clothes like that, I’ll be here every day.” Looking down at my clothes, I realized what I had on. My shorts barely covered my ass and my tank top was practically see through. My nipples were hard from just being around him, and they were poking through the shirt. Shit.
“I gotta go change,” I said quickly.
“You don’t have to on our account,” one of the guys said.
Landon turned toward the man. He didn’t say anything, but whatever expression he had, shut the guy down quickly, and he began working again without looking in my direction.
“That might be a good thing. You may give all my men heart attacks.” He smiled and I melted. Damn, why did he have to be so charming.
“I’ll see you later.” I ran through the house and up to my room.
I heard a knock on my door as I was searching for something to wear.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me, dumbass.�
�� Lauryn.
I opened the door to let her in. “I’m a dumbass, huh? I just wore practically nothing in front of a group of guys—one of them Landon—so I sure as hell am gonna ask who’s at my door!”
“Calm down, tiger.” Lauryn smiled. “So, Landon wanted to come and see you today. Huh?”
“He’s working, Lauryn,” I said, pulling my shorts on.
“Funny how he only stopped by every so often while the house was getting renovated, but when you come along, he’s outside sweaty with his shirt off. Hmm.”
“He’s just working, okay Lauryn. Yesterday didn’t go so hot. I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see,” I responded.
“What do you mean? What happened?” Lauryn snapped.
I relayed what happened at the diner with Kay, which Lauryn was happy to go to dinner and be near Renzo, and I told her about Meg.
“She called you a whore? I’ll kill her!” Lauryn yelled.
“I handled it. I told you.”
“Yeah, but she needs to be bitch slapped,” Lauryn growled.
“No, she doesn’t. She just wants to be with Landon. She took it out on me since he doesn’t want her … or so he says,” I said.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, according to Meg, Landon always goes running back to her, so yeah … whatever.”
“HA! She wishes! She may want him, but he doesn’t want her. I’m sure they’ve had sex many times.” I inwardly cringed. “But that was all it was for him. Nothing more.”
“That’s exactly why I can’t get involved with him,” I said quietly.
“I don’t think you would be the same as Meg,” Lauryn said seriously.
Looking her in the eyes, I asked, “Why do you think that?”
She sighed. “Sadie, he’s different with you. When he looks at you, his face seems to light up. It’s just different from what I’ve seen before.”
“I can’t take that chance,” I said.
“Why not? You never know.”
“I know enough that I need to stay away from men. I need to be me … with no attachments, and this is too big of a risk … for what, nothing,” I replied.
“You don’t know it’s nothing,” she whispered.
“And you don’t know it’s something.” Lauryn was bringing all my confused feelings to the forefront, and it was just getting worse—more confusing, more draining … “I’m gonna go eat breakfast.”
“And watch the guys.” Lauryn’s smile was back.
“Yeah, and watch the guys.”
Lauryn and I spent most the day watching the guys work their asses off. We took out water and tea for them. Lauryn even made sandwiches, which they devoured. All of the men had wonderful bodies, don’t get me wrong, but my eyes always landed on a certain one. No matter how I tried, I couldn’t tear my eyes from him.
“Renzo’s here!” Lauryn screamed.
“Okay, calm down. Jeez, you blew my eardrum,” I said, rubbing the feeling back in my ear.
“Shit, do I look okay?” Lauryn was seriously freaking out.
“You’re fine, and who gives a shit if you’re not.”
“I do!” Lauryn ran to the bathroom to ‘check herself,’ and I opened the door.
“Hey Renzo. How’s it going?” I asked.
“Good. I hear that Landon is here. I need to talk to him.” His voice was authoritative and all business, but not rude or disrespectful.
“He’s outside working.”
“What? Working?” Renzo gasped.
“Yeah. He’s working on the deck,” I said quietly.
“Oh, this is good. Can I come in and see?” I moved out of the doorway and used my arm to motion him in.
“What’s good?” I asked him.
“Oh nothing. Just a brother thing.”
“Hey Renzo,” Lauryn said, coming down the hall.
“Hey Lauryn,” he responded, and walked out to the backyard.
I could see the disappointment in Lauryn’s eyes. I walked over to her and without saying a word, wrapped my arms around her, and hugged her tightly.
She melted in my arms, but didn’t shed one tear.
“Thanks Sadie. I needed that,” she whispered.
“He’ll see one day,” I whispered back.
“By then it will be too late.” Her tone took on a more determined one.
“Then too bad for him.” I smiled, releasing her just as Renzo and Landon came into the room.
“Everything okay here?” Landon was eyeing us suspiciously.
“We’re great! What’s going on?” I asked, Lauryn remaining silent.
“Just a problem with the lumber order, which Landon would know if he was doing his job.” Renzo was seriously angry with Landon. Wait …
Eyeing Landon, I asked, “Landon, I thought this was your job?”
Looking down to the floor, refusing to make eye contact with me, he shuffled his feet.
“Landon?”
He finally looked into my eyes, as he said, “We have guys that do the actual work. I just wanted to come make sure it was getting done the right way. I just decided to stay.”
“A certain someone wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would they, Landon?” Renzo barked.
“Shut it, Renzo,” Landon clipped back giving me a weary smile.
“So you really don’t do the work? You just wanted to sweat your ass off so you could see me?”
“I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me after yesterday,” he said quietly.
Renzo began laughing and suddenly stopped as Landon’s words hit him. “Wait … what happened yesterday?”
“I really don’t want to relive it, bro,” Landon pleaded.
Before I could say anything, Lauryn snapped out of her mood. “Meg called Sadie one of Landon’s whores and told Sadie that Landon would go back to her.”
“She called you a whore?” Renzo asked, shocked. Landon just hung his head.
“It’s okay. Meg and I came to an understanding. She’ll leave me alone now,” I said confidently. I wanted to say … because if she doesn’t leave me alone I may have to use some of the tricks Rob taught me, but of course, I didn’t.
“It is not okay, Sadie. No one, especially Meg, should be referring to you as a whore,” Renzo spoke up. “Did you talk to her?” he asked, looking at his brother.
“I did, but I don’t know if she gets it.”
“What’s not to get, Landon? She needs to leave Sadie alone … end of discussion,” Renzo said.
“Can we just forget it happened please?” I asked. “Can I get you something to drink?”
I was hoping my switch would get them to stop talking about yesterday. I didn’t want to think about it. All it reminded me of were the notches on Landon’s bedpost and the fact that I refused to be on it.
The next two days went by quickly with Landon coming to work on the deck, even though I knew he didn’t have to, and me watching from afar. He would come in briefly and say hi or ask something mundane, but never went any further.
I felt relieved and sad. My emotional rollercoaster was worse than PMS. I was relieved that he had moved on, but at the same time, utterly sad that he did.
I needed to talk to my mom. I called her from the prepaid phone she hooked me up with before leaving.
“Hey Mom.”
“Hey sweetie! Are you settling in?”
“Yeah, I’m getting there.”
“So, tell me about it there.”
“It’s going good. I met some people, and I’m waiting for Aunt Maggie and Uncle Jim to get back so I can square away the job thing.”
“That’s great! I know that Maggie will find something for you.”
“They haven’t gotten back yet from Alabama. They’re due here in the next few days.”
Mom was silent on the phone for what seemed like minutes. “I have to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out.”
My body went rigid, and my stomach instantly felt as if it was going to empty
its contents. “What is it?”
Hearing a huge sigh on the other end of the phone, she continued, “Rob came to the house looking for you.”
That did it. Trying desperately to control my breathing, I sat on my bed and rested my head on my knees. “‘What?” I whispered.
“Don’t be upset, Sadie. He came by looking for you, said he kept saying he was going to marry you, running his mouth. I said over my dead body. He laughed.”
Chills formed on my arms, standing at attention. Rob would have no problem seeing to my mom’s dead body. She kept going. “I told him that you left and wouldn’t be back. I told him to leave you alone, and you didn’t want to see him anymore.”
“What did he say?”
“He laughed harder. He told me that he was going to find you. Then he said he would be back.”
I felt the tears well up, but I would not cry while I talked to Mom. I really thought this would die down. Boy, was I wrong. “What should I do?”
“You stay there. Do not come back here. Do you hear me?”
In my gut, I knew she was right, but how would I live with myself if something happened to my mom? I couldn’t handle that.
“Mom, if I just come back, it will keep him away from you.” I barely heard my own voice say those words.
“NO. I’m taking precautions. I’m having a better security system installed here, and I think Jackson is going to stay for a while.”
Did I dare tell her that if someone wanted in badly enough then a damn security system wasn’t going to help? Closing my eyes and shaking my head, I felt lost. This was not how my life was supposed to be. I should be happy and safe. I shouldn’t have to look over my shoulder every minute of the day hoping that Rob was nowhere to be found.
I should have a husband, or at least a boyfriend, start settling down with my life, and a career that I didn’t have to drop in a flash, because I had to move to Tymbuktu. I should have something more than … this.
Snapping me out of my thoughts, my mom said the one thing that I never thought I would hear come out of her mouth. “I think you should get a gun and learn to shoot it.”
Now, if the all the rest of what she told me didn’t get my attention, this definitely did. Mom didn’t mind guns. Daddy had some that he kept locked up when he was alive. She just instilled in us that guns were dangerous and should be respected. So for Mom to suggest that her little girl get one for protection, she must have been scared for me.