by Alex Bailey
Bea, I had gone to Ann’s house to tell her I didn’t think it was a good idea to mention the whole “box thing” to Tom; didn’t want him to worry since I didn’t believe the crazy vision story. But after seeing the scene at her house, I now believe everything she told me. I know it seems like I’m jumping to conclusions, and all. But you weren’t there; you didn’t see the joy in her face. I wonder if I should warn Tom. But how can I possibly let Ann do this, when Ben was absolutely correct about the Mustang? It will get stuck in the snow because it’s a rear-wheel drive vehicle. But on the other hand, Ann seemed so very happy in her future vision life.
Thanks sis, writing this all out to you – I’ve figured things out. I now know what I’m going to do. Probably not what you would have done, but I hope you won’t judge me too harshly.
Hugs and kisses!
Your loving sister,
Alex
P.S. Turn the page, I’ve sent you some of the recipes you requested.
Ann lent me her grandmother’s recipe card, so I’ve included it here for you. If you’re like me, all that talk about cookies made me want to try it for myself! Ann didn’t have the original chocolate chip cookie recipe; apparently, it was burned up in a fire or some such thing. Curious how that one didn’t make it, but the batter recipe is still alive and kicking…
Grandma Smith’s Southern Fried Chocolate Chip Cookies
Make your favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe. Freeze them. The Toll House recipe is nice and holds up well to being boiled in oil, much like… (this was illegible from Ann’s recipe card).
Deep Fried Batter
¾ cup milk
1 large egg, beaten (not to death)
1 ¼ cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons mini chocolate chips
Oil for frying
Put milk and egg in a small bowl; stab it a few times with a fork. In a larger bowl, combine the dry ingredients and mix. Dump the small bowl into the large bowl and throw in the chocolate chips. Then stir it all up, but don’t kill it.
Heat oil in a pan to 360 degrees. If you don’t have a thermometer, splatter a drop of water in it. When it sizzles, then you know it’s hot enough for your cookies to be boiled alive.
Dip the frozen cookies in the batter to coat and lower into the oil. Fry them for about 2 minutes, until they are golden like chicken—cooked, not like the raw meat. Flip carefully and fry for another minute. Take out of the oil and put onto a paper towel. Eat them immediately because they are to die for; once they get cold, they are no good to anyone.
Note: To make the batter gluten free, substitute gluten-free flour mix for the flour and make sure you use only glute-free baking powder and chocolate chips (milk, eggs, and salt are naturally gluten free).
Honey’s Favorite Biscuits
1 ¾ cup white flour, extra flour for rolling
1 cup whole wheat flour (may need more if too sticky)
½ cup cornmeal
¼ cup dry milk powder
½ package or 1 Tbs active dry yeast
1 ¾ cup beef or chicken stock
1 egg
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease cookie sheet.
Proof the yeast: heat the meat stock until warm but not hot. Dissolve the yeast and let stand for 5-10 minutes.
Meanwhile, mix flours, cornmeal and milk powder. And stir in yeast mixture until dough is soft, but not sticky. Add more flour if sticky.
Sprinkle flour onto flat surface and roll dough to ¼” thickness. Cut into whatever shapes you have on hand. Dogs aren’t picky. They’ll eat Yoda just as fast as they’ll gobble up a campfire with wings. Place on the cookie sheet.
Beat the egg with 2 tablespoons of water and brush on the biscuits. Bake for 45 minutes. Leave out to dry and harden for storage (may take a few days, but perfectly edible in the meantime).
Note: Though fit for human consumption, not recommended, unless for revenge. Also, not for other animals, such as cats or aardvarks.
Ann swears by this dip. I admit, I was reluctant to try it, knowing the circumstance in which Ann acquired it. But it was a big hit, so it’s a keeper. There was a post-it note attached; I believe a note that Theia wrote to Ann, but it was all smudgy and some parts were unreadable, as if someone were crying while writing it. I don’t think she was giving away any family secrets regarding the recipe, but I’ve included it just in case.
Theia’s Hummus Dip
10 oz. garlic hummus
1 c. chopped sun-dried tomatoes
½ c. chopped pepperoncini peppers
½ c. pitted Kalamata olives, cut in half
4 oz. crumbled feta cheese
½ c. finely chopped cucumber
½ c. chopped green onions
¼ t. oregano
Spread hummus on the bottom of a 9-inch pie pan.
Then layer: tomato, peppers, olives, cheese, cucumber and green onion. Sprinkle oregano on top. Refrigerate until ready to use.
Serve with pita wedges, corn chips, crackers, etc.
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This book is dedicated to my BFF, the Oxford comma.
Without you,
all meaning in my life is forever altered.
ACKNOWLEDEGMENTS
I owe a debt of gratitude to so many—Andy for his reading skills and male point of view, Dr. Alessio Fasano for his dedicated celiac research, our recycling company for hauling away mounds of drafts of this book, Dona for her name, Donna for her continued friendship and endless source of listening skills, The Cricket Writers of Howard County for their enlightening critiques, and my excellent copy editor, Emily.
And thanks to anyone who picks up this book and reads even a minute amount of perusing the title, whether out of obligation, duty, curiosity, or badgering, I am forever grateful.
About the Author
Alex Bailey was a bored writer/editor of documents as monotonous as vacuum cleaner manuals. She left that life behind to create more exciting worlds than the one she lived in. The Future Memoir of Ann Jones is the first book under her assumed identity. When she's not listening to friends reveal wild stories about their future, she's tending to her organic garden while belting out show tunes. Ironically, Alex does not have the patience to sit still long enough to knit. Some of her favorite hobbies include: embarrassing her children in public with her rhythmically-challenged dancing, cleaning the small disc around the stopper of the bathroom sink, and dallying. She’d love to tell you more about herself, but as you know, she is incognito so as not to reveal the true identify of her friend, Ann Jones.
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