by B M Carroll
41
KATY
Katy pulls Luke into her arms. The dimensions of his body feel achingly familiar. The curve of his neck. The shape of his shoulders. Even the smell of him. She doesn’t want to let go.
‘It is so good to see you,’ she says, when she finally pulls away. Then she opens her arms to Aaron. ‘You too, buddy.’
Luke slams the front door behind him, as though he is putting an end to an argument.
‘Is your dad home?’
‘Nope.’ His response is terse and Katy assumes it’s the usual friction between father and son. ‘Come on, let’s get this police thing over with so we can go for a drink.’
She rolls her eyes and murmurs, ‘Some things never change.’
Aaron laughs. ‘You’re telling me.’
Katy treats herself to a closer examination of Luke’s profile as they walk towards the car. She discovers new lines in the corners of his eyes and around his mouth. He looks drawn, tired, and she forgives him for cancelling the other night, although she was cross about it at the time. He opens the passenger door and flings himself on to the seat. She’s immediately reminded of their senior year of school, when she was like his personal taxi service.
‘Looks like you’re relegated to the back,’ she says to Aaron.
She starts the car and does a U-turn. Luke has an attitude shift as soon as the house is out of sight. He angles himself in the passenger seat, so he can see both Katy and Aaron, and begins an animated account of the last few days.
‘Aaron’s been dragging me up and down the beaches, and all over the bloody city. He fucking loves it here.’
‘What’s not to love?’ Aaron pipes up from the back seat. ‘You people have no idea how good you have it.’
Luke ignores him. ‘What about you, Katy? What have you been up to recently?’
‘Oh, just writing reports and trying to come up with nice ways of saying “your child is crap at science”.’
Luke laughs at this, as she knew he would. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’
She hasn’t seen Mike since she slept with him. He has texted, called and made all the right signs to indicate he wants a relationship, but something is holding her back. She sees him sitting at her laptop and something inside her says ‘no, no, no’.
Luke is waiting for a response. A quick glance in the rear-view mirror shows that Aaron is too. Katy settles for, ‘Sort of.’
They’re in Manly now. Traffic is slow along the beachfront. Katy turns off the main drag and scouts the side streets for a parking space. There. She puts the gearstick into reverse and moments later they’re alighting from the car.
‘I’ll take a walk around the wharf,’ Aaron says, obviously keen to explore. ‘Text me when you’re finished.’
He darts across the road before either Katy or Luke can offer further suggestions.
‘Bloody tourist,’ Luke says and they both laugh.
‘It’s going well?’ Katy asks in a more serious tone.
‘Extremely well. I want to ask him to marry me but I keep chickening out.’
Katy is happy for him, she really is, but the teenage part of her remains heartbroken. He was her first love and she has spent the last twenty years trying to find the same intensity of feeling, the same close connection, the same wry sense of humour and everything else that makes him who he is. She wants a heterosexual version of Luke, and it doesn’t exist. This is why Mike and all the rest of them always fall short.
‘Hey, don’t cheat me out of a wedding. Stop being a wuss and ask him.’ She links her arm with his. ‘Come on, time for a trip down memory lane.’
It’s a surreal experience. Zach, Melissa, Annabel, Grace, Luke and Katy sitting round a table in one of the meeting rooms at the back of the police station. Here they are, all together again, just not in the way anyone imagined: the strangest reunion ever.
The detective looks around the table. ‘Thank you all for coming here today. My name is Detective Sergeant Brien, and I became involved in this case when Jarrod Harris was assaulted last week. At the time we believed Jarrod’s assault was an isolated crime, but a more detailed investigation led us to the reunion and the realisation that other crimes have been committed which may be connected. When police see a common thread across crimes we sometimes coordinate our efforts by forming a taskforce.’ She pauses, her brown eyes looking at each of them in turn. ‘From now on I’ll be the first point of contact for any concerns you have, any further mysterious or threatening notes or emails, or any other crimes that appear to be connected to the reunion.’
The room is deathly silent. Katy finds her eyes drawn to Melissa and Annabel, the only two people in the group whom she hasn’t recently seen. It seems appropriate that they’re sitting on opposite sides of the table. Jet-black hair versus blonde. White skin versus tanned. Both attractive, even glamorous, but in vastly different ways. There was a time at school when they were close friends, but towards the end they became known enemies. How do they feel about each other today?
Annabel clears her throat. ‘Shouldn’t we tell them about Jemma and Daniel?’
‘What about Jemma and Daniel?’ Zach asks immediately. ‘What’ve your kids got to do with this?’
The detective answers his question. ‘We’ve established that the first two emails were sent independently of the others. They were sent by Annabel’s children.’
Katy is completely blindsided. Annabel’s children? What on earth? She sees Grace take hold of Annabel’s hand and it’s obvious, from her wordless support, that she’s already aware of this development. Everyone else appears to be as staggered as Katy is.
Annabel waits a few moments. Looks down at the table. Then a quick anguished glance at Grace before she admits, ‘They thought it would be “funny” to send an update on my life. Mocking me about how I haven’t achieved anything since school, and what they saw as my unnecessary worry about Daniel’s drug-taking. Later on, they decided to send a second email to Grace, in order to make mine seem more authentic ... Their story stands up, I’m mortified to say. The photo of Grace was taken from the family picture she included in our Christmas card. Jemma knew about Grace’s miscarriage and her concerns about Lauren, and she admits to setting up a special email account. Both Jemma and Daniel are adamant they didn’t send any other emails or notes, and Detective Brien and I believe they’re telling the truth. It looks like someone else decided to get on the bandwagon and continue what they started ... I’m so embarrassed and so very sorry.’
Annabel finishes to complete silence. Katy flits back through the chronology of events and remembers her own email asking whoever was sending the fake yearbook updates to stop. Did her email inadvertently give someone the idea to continue? Annabel’s head is bowed and Katy suspects that she is fighting back tears. Katy can’t help feeling sorry for her. She knows all too well how cruel young adults can be. How mocking and derisive of their parents. How quick to inflict hurt without thinking through the consequences of their actions.
The detective opens the file in front of her, breaking the silence. ‘Okay, next steps ... We’re reviewing CCTV footage outside a restaurant where Annabel’s family ate after Mia’s communion. The author of the notes seems to be aware of a family altercation that occurred, and hopefully the footage will show us who was in the vicinity at the time. We’re also reviewing footage from outside Melissa’s apartment block and have put an urgency on fingerprints taken from her apartment, as well as the hard-copy notes we have in our possession. We’re looking through CCTV of the arterial road closest to the warehouse where Jarrod was found, and talking to homeowners in the street where Zach’s car was parked. I’m asking you all to think hard about who in your cohort had a grievance, who would have the motivation and personality type to go to these lengths—’
‘Robbie McGrath,’ Zach cuts in quietly. Then he looks in Katy’s direction and shrugs. ‘I’m sorry, but I keep coming back to him.’
‘It’s not Robbie,’ Katy says through gritt
ed teeth. ‘He wouldn’t do something like this. We’ve been over this, Zach. Robbie’s spent the last twenty years doing his best to disappear. It doesn’t make sense that he would suddenly decide to return and get revenge. Besides, he was never someone to draw attention to himself or play games.’
‘People do all manner of things that make no sense,’ the detective says. She flicks through the file and extracts a page, her eyes quickly scanning the contents. ‘I see you mention Robbie here, Zach, when you made your initial statement to the police. It looks like you gave him a hard time at school ...’
Zach adjusts his position in his seat. ‘It’s not something I’m proud of.’
The detective nods. ‘Actions like yours can leave a deep psychological impact. I’ll call on Robbie and have a chat.’
Katy thinks back to that day in Robbie’s house, herself and Zach having a heated discussion afterwards in the car, when Celia, his sister, rapped on the passenger window. Zach stopped midsentence and rolled down the window. Celia’s pale eyes were tearful and pleading. ‘I’ve only just got my brother back after twenty years. Please don’t scare him away again. You really upset him just now. Leave him alone. Please.’
Katy felt so ashamed of herself. Now a detective is about to turn up at his door making more accusations. Robbie deserves an apology, not their suspicion. But she supposes that the detective must do her job, and Zach can’t help how he feels. All his instincts are pointing to Robbie, in the same way that Katy’s instincts are pointing away from him.
The detective looks around the table again. ‘Now, before we finish up, is there anything anyone wants to add? Anything you feel might be relevant? Sometimes it’s the smallest things that are the most important.’
At first Katy thinks, no, she has nothing to add. She checks her watch; Aaron must be getting fed up waiting for them. Luke is reaching in his pocket for his phone and Melissa has put her handbag strap on her shoulder. Everyone is keen to leave. For some reason Katy’s thoughts propel to Mike. There he is again, sitting at her laptop, tapping on her keyboard, running diagnostics without her permission.
She puts her hand up and immediately feels foolish. Why is she suddenly behaving like a school student? Even worse, her face is hot: she’s blushing.
‘I’ve been told there was spyware on my laptop ... Maybe that’s how this person got access to everyone’s email addresses and other personal information. I was collating data for the new yearbook.’
Her laptop also contains browsing history relating to fertility clinics, sperm donation, gay dads and single parenting. Oh God!
The detective nods slowly. ‘It’s possible, depending on the sophistication of the spyware ... We’ll organise for forensics to take a look at your laptop.’
Might be too late for that. Mike removed all the spyware, didn’t he? Has he helped the situation by removing the ‘threats’ or made things more difficult, perhaps wiping out important evidence? Oh God!
‘Now, some housekeeping rules,’ the detective continues. ‘I’ve been quite candid today about the steps we’re taking because I know you’re all worried and I want to assure you that we’re doing everything we can to get to the bottom of this. I won’t be so candid going forward. You will be aware, from high-profile cases in the media, that information management is crucial to any investigation. To this end, I would ask that you don’t discuss this among yourselves. If you feel the need to talk to someone, pick up the phone and talk to me.’
This gets a reaction, with several murmurs of dissent. ‘What about our spouses?’ Zach queries. ‘Surely, we can speak to them? I mean, they’re impacted too.’
‘Minimal information is to be shared with family members.’ The detective is firm. She closes the file in front of her and stands up. She is surprisingly short in stature. ‘In the meantime, I want you all to exercise appropriate caution. Be alert. Be vigilant. Keep your homes secure. Try not to be alone.’
Outside the sun has fallen in the sky and the group stands uncertainly on the pavement. What now?
‘Does anyone want to go for a drink?’ Katy asks, looking around to gauge reactions. She wanted it to be just herself, Luke and Aaron tonight, but now it seems churlish not to extend the invitation.
‘Good idea,’ Melissa says and Katy realises it’s the first time she’s spoken all evening. ‘I’m in.’
Luke takes Katy’s hand in his as they walk towards the Corso. ‘Bloody hell, Aaron’s not going to believe this. It’s like something from a novel, not real life.’
Katy is about to remind him that they’re meant to keep the specific details confidential. The reprimand dies in her mouth. Mike’s back in her head again; he will not go away today. She sees herself handing him copies of the messages. She sees herself discussing all the people involved and divulging all sorts of other details. In a moment of true horror, she realises that Mike knows almost everything about this investigation ... thanks to her.
Oh, Katy, you fool.
What does she really know about him other than the fact that he was married to Brigette and supposedly works in security? He’s a man who initially made contact with her through Facebook, for God’s sake. He’s a man who suggested they ‘meet up’ and was suspiciously quick to offer his help and experience. A man who she found on her laptop, breaching her privacy at best, and at worst deleting evidence that would’ve been useful to the police. A man who has slept in her bed, who has made love to her, but who is really, to all intents and purposes, a complete stranger.
Oh, Katy, you fool.
42
GRACE
Grace sticks close to Annabel in the pub even though part of her would have relished the chance to talk to Katy. She’s surprised that Annabel agreed to come. She has so much to deal with. Jarrod showing no outward signs of improvement. Daniel, self-destructive and self-absorbed as ever. Now Jemma, the last person Annabel was expecting trouble from. Poor Annabel has been left reeling.
The pub is busier than expected. Melissa and Katy manage to secure a couple of stools but the rest of them remain standing.
‘You all right?’ Grace whispers, looking closely at her friend’s face.
Annabel shudders. ‘I keep having to redefine what rock bottom means.’
On hearing Jemma’s confession, Annabel phoned the detective first and Grace second, so upset that Grace could hardly decipher what she was saying. That’s how she ended up in Annabel’s kitchen that afternoon, consoling both mother and daughter.
‘I’m sorry, Mum,’ Jemma wailed. ‘I didn’t think Daniel would become so addicted. I didn’t think he’d be like this. Now I’m here every day, I can see what a problem he is and I feel so bad I had a part in it ...’
‘I thought I could count on you, Jemma,’ Annabel wailed back. ‘I can’t believe you would be so irresponsible with Daniel, and so cruel to both me and Grace!’
Grace refrained from adding her viewpoint, which took a lot of self-control. Jemma had violated the lines between adult and minor, getting stoned with her under-age brother. And why all this unwarranted vindictiveness towards her mother and Grace?
‘Sorry, Grace, I know you tell me off only because you love me. Sorry, Mum, I’m so sorry. Now I can imagine what it’s like to be a mother at my age, how daunting and constant it is ...’
Grace made them both tea that they didn’t drink. She arranged for Mia to go to a friend’s house after school. She didn’t know what to do about Daniel but suspected he wasn’t at school anyway. Later that night, she relayed everything to Tom. Everything but the fact that she’d actually suspected him. She will never tell him. Never admit that she lost faith in his goodness. He would be so hurt and bewildered. When she found that note in Lauren’s room, Tom was her only solace; there was no doubt left in her mind.
Annabel has already finished her glass of wine. She takes her purse from her handbag. ‘I’ll get another ... then it’s back to the hospital for me.’
Grace declines Annabel’s offer of a second drink. She wants
to get home soon. To the kids. To Tom. She feels safer when they’re both in the house. Two sets of eyes to watch the children. Next week they’re having an alarm system fitted to the windows and doors. She is worried about the extra cost and what it will do to their precarious finances but at the same time counting down the days. She never wants to walk into a child’s bedroom again and see an open window, a rectangle of darkness through which anything could have happened. She never wants to experience that sense of violation, that sheer terror. Fear about one’s own safety is one thing. Fear for your children – so vulnerable and innocent – is quite another.
Katy comes over while Annabel is at the bar, giving the impression that she waited for the coast to clear.
‘Hey, Grace.’ She flits her eyes to the rest of the group. ‘Well, this isn’t what any of us expected.’
‘No. It’s quite the nightmare.’
‘How is Annabel holding up?’
‘She’s doing her best.’ Grace takes a sip of wine, reaches a decision. ‘Listen, while you’re here, there’s something that’s been on my mind.’
Katy cocks her head, smiles a little warily. ‘That sounds serious.’
‘It is ... I owe you a long-overdue apology. For pathetically standing by and allowing Annabel to be so awful to you at school. My loss, really, because I think you and I would have made great friends.’
Katy’s smile changes to one of surprise and embarrassment. ‘Well, thank you, but no apology required. What happened was nothing I don’t see at work every day. For every kid who is lacking in empathy, there’s another who’s lacking in resilience. They’re all emotionally underdeveloped and categorically self-absorbed, but that’s part of their journey and most of them turn out okay.’ Her eyes veer to Annabel, who is in the process of handing over cash to the barman. ‘I get a lot of mums who see me because their child is being bullied or excluded. Some of them think it’s payback, because they used to be the mean girl in their day, now the shoe’s on the other foot. They are perfectly nice women, devoted mothers, as I am sure Annabel is.’