The Amazing Adventures of 4¢ Ned (Coinworld: Book Two)

by Benjamin Laskin

  The gold piece’s obverse depicted the female figure of Liberty holding a torch in one hand and an olive branch in the other. Ringed by forty-six stars—one for each state at that time—Liberty strode across a rocky outcrop, the rising rays of the sun behind her. Also behind her at the bottom and to the left of her flowing gown, sat small in the distance the United States Capitol building.

  Embossed on the coin’s reverse, an awesome eagle soared over more sunrays like those on the obverse. Along the coin’s edge ran the motto E PLURIBUS UNUM. The 1907 coin, however, did not bear the other motto that graced most coins: IN GOD WE TRUST. An appalled public and congress demanded the motto be added, and from 1908 on it could be seen between the sun and its rays on the coins reverse side.

  The golden eagle set down the shiny Jefferson nickel and flew off. It circled nearby in the shadows of the canyon walls where the sun could not give it away.

  The nickel approached Damian, who bowed to the coin in obeisance.

  The nickel shook his head in disappointment. “A shabby penny, Damian? Really?”

  “Not just any penny, Sir. That—”

  “A penny!”

  “Pete Penny, Sir.”

  The nickel flinched with surprise, something Damian never saw him do before. The nickel glanced in the direction of the stadium as if he could still see the penny there.

  “That mutilated chunk of copper is Pete Penny?” the nickel said, amazed.

  “Yes, Sir. Even Kipp Quarter had no such moves,” Damian said in his defense. “The beat penny had speed and agility I’ve never encountered.”

  “Never?” the nickel scoffed, having regained his composure.

  “I mean, except for you.”

  “Was that Kipp Quarter I saw? I thought you told me he was out of the picture.”

  “Everyone thought so, but apparently he escaped from wherever it was that hawk had taken him. I’ll brief him soon and get his story.”

  “I don’t care about his stupid story,” the nickel snapped. “What I care about is that he outranks you and will regain charge of the Grand Canyon base while that ditzy dime remains away.”

  “Let me handle him,” Damian said confidently.

  “Like you did that penny?” the nickel mocked. “No, we must be smarter than that. It will draw too much attention and Deirdre Dime is no idiot. For now, just keep him busy. I need thirty-six hours.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Eyes on the prize, Damian.”

  “The Four?”

  “And Coin Island.”

  “What are you proposing, Sir?”

  Nicolai fixed the dime with a rebuking stare. “Need-to-know basis, Damian. Remember?”

  Damian bowed apologetically. “Of course, Nicolai. Forgive me.”

  The nickel smiled slyly. “Patience, Damian. It’s still early in the game.”

  “Yes, Nicolai, Sir. And what about the penny?”

  “The penny completes The Four. Without the penny, The Four cannot achieve his full range of powers.”

  “Does The Four know this?”

  “If he does, I doubt he fully comprehends its significance.”

  “Iron Tail might have told him,” Damian said.

  “That clown doesn’t know his front side from his backside. If it weren’t for me he’d never have become chief of anything.”

  “You, Sir?” Damian asked, bewildered.

  “It was I who first told him of the existence of The Four.”

  “You met The Four?”

  “No, but since the day I was minted I’ve felt his presence like an amputee does a phantom limb. I carry the feeling like a penniless man does a gnawing hunger. Food, food everywhere, but not a morsel to eat.”

  “But why tell Iron Tail about him, Nicolai? I don’t understand.”

  “It was a long time ago. I was young and desperate, and not in full possession of my powers. I thought he could help me locate The Four. I heard he was a medicine nickel who could communicate with the spirit world. I searched him out and explained to him my dilemma. We were at an Indian lodge. He stared into the fire and went into a trance. When he returned he told me where to find the nickel. But he lied! He sent me on a wild goose chase. After that, Iron Tail disappeared and I could never find him again.”

  “Even back then you knew locomotion?”

  “I’ve never satisfied myself with boundaries, Damian. From the earliest days I’ve believed that the so-called laws of nature didn’t apply to me.”

  “But, Nicolai, Sir, why The Four? Why not just, I don’t know, four pennies?”

  “Because, you dolt, one coin and only one must recreate the balance. Just as the one-cent penny completes The Four, it is The Four who will complete me! Do you realize what we could do together?”

  “Rule all of Coinworld,” Damian said.

  “Pshaw. You think too small. Never mind that now. One cent at a time. Rid me of that pesky penny and The Four will have nowhere to turn but to me. I will complete him in ways he can’t fathom.”

  “Yes, Nicolai, Sir. But if I may, one more question.”

  “You deflate me, Damian,” the nickel sighed. “What is it?”

  “Of the millions of pennies in Coinworld, why that penny, Sir? Have you ever seen a mangier penny than him?”

  Nicolai shook his head in condescension. “My dear Damian, a penny with a golden heart is greater than all the bullion in Fort Knox. And remember, it’s not just the penny who completes The Four, The Four enriches the penny.”

  “That’s why he’s so fast and nimble?”

  “Partially, but we are speaking of matters you cannot comprehend now. Worry not, Damian. Do as I say and soon you will possess ten times the abilities of that copper clod. Do as I say and we’ll find Coin Island.” He glanced up at his golden chariot. “I have to go. Dominique and I have a long flight ahead of us.”

  Nicolai nodded to the orbiting coin. The double eagle screeched, broke her circling pattern, and dove.

  Damian bowed and backed away, giving the eagle room to snatch up the princely nickel.

  Nicolai turned and looked imperially into the distance. The golden bird swooped in and plucked him up.

  Damian caught a final glimpse of Nicolai’s reverse side and the anomaly stamped onto it: SIX CENTS.

  Celebrations went late into the evening. Like a returning knight, Kipp Quarter thrilled his fellow coins with his recent exploits. The coins listened with rapt attention—something coins rarely did—but the 1950 Washington Quarter was no ordinary coin either. His cavalier, happy-go-lucky nature made him an excellent storyteller, and his adventure was one that no coin had ever heard, as until now none had ever lived to tell it.

  Pete Penny listened as captivated as everyone else. He laughed at Kipp’s self-deprecating humor, and he cried at the retelling of how the other captured coins had met their awful deaths plummeting from a hawk’s clutches into a bog of quicksand far below.

  Kipp, a penny, and a quarter with a broken wing had been taken to a hawk’s nest atop a crag high up one of the walls of the Grand Canyon. Below was a precipice of thousands of feet, and the roiling waters of the Colorado River. Kipp could have just leapt from the nest and gained flight on his own, but Raider Special Forces had a credo, and one of its codes was that a coin never left a teammate behind.

  His tale detailed their daring escape from the nest and all the dangers and death-defying adventures they encountered, including run-ins with snakes, scorpions, sand dunes, flash floods, and more predator birds.

  Everyone in camp knew that few coins could have mustered the tenacity and courage that Kipp did, but the quarter had a belief in himself and in his mission that gave him an inner strength that everyone who knew him both marveled at and envied. Words like ‘can’t’ or ‘never’ rarely left his lips, which made him a source of inspiration at camp, and explained why he and Pete Penny got along so well.

  Once the storytelling and backslapping ended, Pete and Kipp finally managed some alone time together. Pet
e skipped mentioning his own adventures. Instead, the two friends spoke about Coin Island, and of each coin’s more private thoughts.

  The two coins could think aloud in front of one another; something neither was comfortable doing before anyone else except for Ned Nickel. Most coins didn’t have much of a philosophical bent and gravitated towards the frivolous. Kipp, Pete, and Ned could be as fun-loving as the next coin, but they found pondering life’s bigger questions just as entertaining, and more interesting too.

  The two coins lay face up on the outskirts of the camp’s lower level near the eagle runway. They gazed up at the night sky, which resembled a million brilliant and twinkling coins.

  “I thought this time my luck had run out, Pete,” Kipp confided. “I couldn’t tell the others, of course, but I was scared.”

  “I’m sure none of them would have held it against you. We’d all have been pooping copper if we had encountered what you and the others had.”

  “Not you,” Kipp said.

  “Are you kidding?” Pete laughed. “I’ve pooped enough copper in my life to corner the market!”

  “Anyway, I made it. I never would have if it weren’t for you and Ned. I just want you to know that.”

  “We had nothing to do with it, Kipp. You pulled through all on your own, and not only that, you pulled Preston Penny and Chris Quarter with you. You saved their lives and no one knows it better than those two. They told me all about it, including the heroics you left out of the story.” Pete gave Kipp a knowing wink.

  “I didn’t want to embarrass them,” Kipp said. “I wouldn’t have had to do some of those things if the dummies had followed my orders in the first place.” He chuckled. “It’s funny now, but it wasn’t then. Erasmus wanted to drop those two clowns off the nearest cliff.”

  Kipp’s reverse eagle, Erasmus, screeched and stuck a peeved middle feather out from below.

  Pete laughed. “It’s a good thing you have Erasmus to keep you company in times like that. Me, I’m stuck with two withering stalks of wheat, neither of which have ever done me a whit of good.”

  “They are your secret weapon, Pete. You just haven’t figured out how yet.”

  “Always the optimist, aren’t you?” Pete chuckled.

  Kipp gestured to a bright streak in the sky. “Look, a shooting dime!”

  “There’s another one!” Pete said. “Quick, let’s make a wish.”

  They closed their eyes and each made a wish.

  “What did you wish for?” Kipp asked.

  “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”

  “Baloney, Pete. Every wish can come true if you wish hard enough.”

  “You first,” Pete challenged.

  “Mine was easy. To be in charge of my own bullion base one day.”

  “Just a matter of time, Kipp. The chief and Deirdre intend to open at least one base in every state. I have no doubt you’ll head one of them. We just need the recruits to fill them first.”

  “Okay,” Kipp said, “now you.”

  “I, ah…”

  “Out with it, penny.”

  “I prayed for Ned’s safety and success.”

  “Oh, man,” Kipp groaned. “That’s just like you. Now I feel like a heel.”

  “Why? Yours was a good wish.”

  “Mine was selfish. That’s why you’re Pete Penny and why I’ll never match your skills.”

  “Horsefeathers, Kipp. With you in command of your own bullion base, that would be a great help to Ned and the cause. Nothing against Darla, of course. She’s terrific. But you need your own command to really come into your own.”

  Kipp gave Pete a comradely shove. “Thanks, buddy.”

  “Say, speaking of dimes and shooting stars. What do you make of Damian?”

  Kipp snorted. “Shooting mouths, you mean. Aw, I ‘spose he’s okay. Talented for darn sure. Learning to animate his torch was a great boon to us, no doubt about it. Eagles and buffaloes are one thing, but an inanimate object? That’s taking your wampum to a whole new level.”

  “Do you trust him?”

  “I trust every coin. It’s embossed right over my nose, isn’t it?”

  “That’s in God we trust. Damian may think he’s some sort of god, but—”

  “You noticed, huh?” Kipp chuckled. “Well, Pete ‘ol pal, I’m glad to see that your charity has its limits. Look, the guy’s good at what he does, and I’ll be the first to admit that he did a lot to get this base whipped into shape. Learned a few things from him myself; stuff I’ll put into practice once I get my own command.”

  “But…?”

  Kipp shrugged. “I don’t know. He asks a lot of weird questions.”

  “About what?”

  “About Ned. About the chief. And especially about Coin Island.”

  “That’s natural. Few coins have ever met Ned, and even fewer the chief. And Coin Island has to remain secret. Only core coinage knows its whereabouts. Those who are trained there aren’t ever told where it is.”

  “I know that. You know that. But whenever a new coin visits here Damian peppers the coin with questions trying to get information that might give away its location.”

  “Did you ask him why?”

  “Sure, but he denied he was trying to do anything, that he was just a curious coin. I think it offends him that guys like you and I know such things but he can’t. He asked what we were afraid of.”

  “What did you answer?”

  “With the truth. That the fewer the coins are who know the island’s location, the securer it is. That we still don’t know all we’re up against, and so the chief wants to play it safe until we do.”

  Lightning flashed in the distance and the sound of thunder echoed down the canyon walls.

  “It was nice a minute ago,” Pete said. “The wind is kicking up too.”

  “That’s how it is in the canyon,” Kipp said. “Especially at this season.”

  A voice called out from the surrounding darkness, “There you are!”

  “Speaking of the devil,” Kipp muttered.

  Damian Dime, all smiles, rolled over to them. “What are you fairies doing out here? Pete, I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “Me?”

  “Kipp here will tell you, I’m a dime of my word. I told you that you could call Coin Island after the wrestling match, so what are you waiting for?”

  Pete sprang up onto his rim. “Ready when you are!” He turned to Kipp Quarter. “Come on, maybe you can say hello to some of the gang.”

  Damian said, “Oh, Kipp, the guys told me that if I saw you to tell you to get your fanny-side up to level three, that they’re throwing a little party for you.”

  Kipp groaned. “Another one?”

  Damian smiled. “You’re a returning hero. You’re not going to disappoint them are you?”

  “Go on ahead,” Pete said to the quarter. “I’ll catch up with you. It’ll be fun, and Damian’s right. It would mean a lot to the gang.”

  “All right,” Kipp said, flipping onto his edge. “One more, and that’s it. This stuff embarrasses me.”

  “Attaboy,” Damian said. He gave Kipp a playful slap. “Take one for the team. The runway is right here and so you can be on level three in no time. Looks like one of our storms is coming, so you might want to hurry. Pete and I will join you soon.”

  Kipp looked at Pete, hesitation in his eye, but Pete nodded and said, “Don’t keep your fans waiting.”

  The three of them rolled over together to the runway. As they approached they saw a figure in the darkness zigzagging down the strip.

  Damian and Kipp exchanged bewildered looks and rolled after the coin. Pete followed, a grin on his face.

  “Right, Ernie,” cried the coin. “Left! Now right! Now faster!”

  Pete shouted, “Sadie, watch out for the—”

  Clunk.

  Squawk.

  “Rock,” Pete finished.

  The three coins raced over to Sadie and Ernie.

  The silver dolla
r gazed up at their faces and blinked her crossed eye. She giggled. “Oopsy-doopsy.”

  Damian was not amused. “What do you think you’re doing, you cockeyed coin, you?”

  “Practicing, Sir.”

  “On a moonless night and with a storm approaching to boot?”

  Sadie struggled to her rim and leaned against the big rock she had crashed into. She hung her head in shame.

  “Ernie and I are too embarrassed to practice in the daylight,” she mumbled.

  “Don’t you know that all takeoffs require authorization first?”

  “No,” Sadie replied innocently.

  “Where were you going, Sadie?” Pete asked.

  “A little joy ride, that’s all. Ernie was getting antsy and was eager to get some sky time.”

  “It’s dangerous up there, Sadie.”

  “It is?”

  “Especially at night,” Kipp said. “Madame, you could get snatched up by an owl. Or even worse.”

  Sadie gulped. “Worse?”

  Kipp nodded. “A bat.”

  “A bat?” Sadie swooned.

  Pete and Kipp rushed to her side to prop her back up.

  “Kipp,” Pete said, “how’d you like to escort Sadie and Ernie to the party?”

  Kipp offered Sadie a gentlemanly bow. “My honor, madame.”

  Sadie blushed and batted her googly eye. “A party?”

  Kipp was a handsome Washington quarter, and being escorted to a party by the hero of the day wasn’t an opportunity that came around very often, or ever. She looked ready to faint again, but Ernie Eagle reached his feathers around and fanned her face.

  “And lady,” Damian said, “no more practice runs without my approval.”

  Kipp cleared his throat.

  Damian scrunched his forehead, and suddenly recalled that Kipp outranked him, and that now that the quarter was back, he was no longer in charge.

  Damian corrected himself. “Without Officer Kipp’s approval, I mean.”

  “See you two at the party,” Kipp said. “And Pete, tell Deirdre that I’ll call her tomorrow. She’ll want a full report, and with all the celebrating going on I haven’t had the time to speak with her yet.”

  “You got it, but you know Deirdre.”