“The police would recognize it as a wolf attack and notify the SF. We can’t have that.”
“What about a funeral? A proper burial with coffins and a cemetery and a preacher and black umbrellas and rain clouds and—”
“Have you ever been to a real funeral? Not just seen one on TV?”
She grabbed hunks of her own hair and pulled. “You can’t do this to me. I don’t care if you are my alpha. You can’t just take my parents away and expect me to go along with it.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“Pretend?”
“You can be honest about the way you felt about your parents. You hated them, didn’t you? They were utterly strict. You had early curfews. You’ve never been allowed to learn to drive. You’ve never been allowed to explore the world for yourself. They stifled you. They lied to you about who you were, and they tried to control you.”
It was true. Everything he was saying was true. “But I didn’t mean it.” She dragged her hands over her face. “I didn’t mean for them to die.”
“Yes, you did,” said Mick. “Some part of you did.”
“No.” Her nostrils flared.
“Why can’t you accept it, little fael? Your parents were a problem that you needed to solve. Now you’ve solved it. You can be pleased.”
“Pleased that they’re dead?” Her voice cracked. “What’s wrong with you? How can you say something like that?”
He rolled his eyes. “Stop being dramatic. You feel guilty only because you think you should. But I’m telling you that you don’t have to. We are werewolves, Carrie. We don’t have to follow the same rules as everyone else.”
“What do you mean? Of course we do. Listen to me, I loved my parents.”
He only chuckled. “Sure you did.”
“I did.”
He shrugged. “I think I’m going to take another shower. Afterward, I can give you a driving lesson if you want.”
“Driving? Like a car?”
“As long as you know where the keys to the cars in the garage are.”
She felt excited. She’d always wanted to learn to drive. Then ashamed. How could she be thinking about something like this when her parents were dead? When she’d killed them?
She glared at him. “I don’t think so. I don’t need anything from you. And I want you out of my house.”
He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. His eyes bored into her own. “We are connected, Carrie. We have a bond. I don’t want to leave you, and I don’t think you want me to leave either.”
“Well, you’re wrong,” she said. “I don’t want anything to do with you.” She ran back to her room and slammed the door shut again.
* * *
Safe in her room, she threw herself on the bed and tried to summon more tears. But they were stubborn. They wouldn’t come. She rolled over onto her side and stared at the door to her room.
Her room still looked like a little girl’s room. Her parents had never wanted her to change the flowered curtains or the matching wallpaper. Everything was purple and delicate. Even the room seemed stifling.
To her horror, she found that she was starting to think good thoughts about the demise of her parents. Things might be easier now. There would be no one around telling her what to do or trying to keep her from having fun. She could stay out late. She could go to parties. She could learn to drive, and she could take herself wherever she wanted to go. She could be free.
She scolded herself. Of course she missed her parents. Of course she loved them. Of course she never wanted them dead.
But…
They were dead. And no feeling bad about it on her part was going to bring them back.
She pulled a pillow over her head, trying to force those terrible thoughts out of her mind. She couldn’t think that way. She was meant to be grieving.
Mick pounded on her door.
“Go away,” she said from beneath the pillow.
He tried the doorknob, and the door opened.
She’d forgotten to lock it, she realized, and she was angry at herself about that. She peered out from beneath the pillow.
Mick’s hair was wet, but he was completely dressed. He was even wearing a shirt. He’d been barechested all morning. He dangled a set of keys from his hand. “You sure you don’t want a driving lesson?”
“Not from you,” she said.
He came into the bedroom and sat down at the foot of her bed. He put his hand on her ankle and began to rub it. “I’m sorry, little fael. I realize this must be quite a shock for you.”
“Don’t touch me,” she choked. But she almost liked his hand there. It made her feel fluttery inside.
He continued to rub her ankle. “Everything is changing so fast for you. But you must trust me when I tell you that it’s much better for you to be with me and not the people who were raising you. They weren’t doing you any favors. Really, you’ve been rescued from their tyranny.”
“They weren’t that bad.” She sat up, flinging down the pillow. “They were all I ever had.”
“Because they wouldn’t let you have anyone else,” he said. “They didn’t even like me to visit after the first time. And I am closer to you than anyone on earth.” He reached out and gently caressed her face. “You must believe me, little fael. I would never hurt you.”
She wasn’t afraid of him. She was angry with him.
He jingled the keys again. “Come on. Just for a little bit. To take your mind off all this unpleasantness.”
She hesitated. Everything was so confusing. When she thought about her parents, it hurt, but when he talked about learning to drive, it made her feel excited. And though she knew that it wasn’t appropriate to feel excited right now, she reached out and grabbed the keys.
CHAPTER FOUR
Mick pulled the Subaru Legacy out of the garage and turned it so that it was facing forward in the driveway. Then he turned the car off and got out.
Carrie opened the door to the driver’s side, her heart beating. She’d wanted this for so long. It was a rite of passage. Everyone in her school had been driving for years. She remembered being so jealous of them when she was sixteen. But her parents wouldn’t let her drive, nor would they let her get in a car with a teenage driver. She lost all of her friends fairly quickly. Soon there was only Joan, who was afraid to learn to drive. The two bonded more over their lack of freedom than over having anything in common. Still, at least Carrie had one friend.
She sat down in the car and put the key in the ignition. She ran her hands over the steering wheel, taking a deep, satisfied breath.
“You look very good there,” said Mick as he got into the passenger side of the car. “Like you were born to drive.”
“Really?” She couldn’t help but smile.
“Really,” he said.
But then she remembered that she didn’t trust Mick. She was fairly sure it was his fault that her parents were dead. She shouldn’t smile at him. She should simply use him to learn how to drive, and then get as far from him as possible. Which would be a great plan if it weren’t for the fact that she really liked looking at his hulking shoulders and muscular stomach and green, green eyes.
“Give me your hand,” said Mick.
She did.
He placed it on the gear shift in the center of the car. “It’s an automatic, so this should be simple for you. The R is for reverse, the P for park, and the D for drive. Put your foot on the brake to move between them.”
“Move between them?” She was confused.
“I’ll show you,” he said. “Turn on the car.”
She turned the key, and the car roared to life.
Mick’s hand on her right thigh. “Use this foot, and only ever this foot, to reach forward and find the gas and brake pedals.”
Carrie’s foot kicked out blindly. She struck something and the car made a loud whirring noise but didn’t move.
Mick chuckled. “Not so hard. You m
ust feel it. Gently touch and only apply pressure a bit at a time.”
“Why didn’t the car move?” she said.
He pointed. “You are in park.”
Oh. She was starting to understand.
They sat in the driveway for a bit longer as Mick explained things to her and showed her how things worked inside the car.
Finally, she was ready to actually start moving. With Mick’s help, she managed to pull out of the driveway and take the car down the road beside her house. It was a country road, but Mick urged her to make the car go faster. “At least forty,” he said, “or you’ll be a danger.”
Going faster frightened her, but she found that she managed it. She was doing very, very well.
But then they drove past Joan’s house. Joan was her neighbor, and the girls lived close enough to walk to each other’s houses. This was helpful, considering neither of them could drive.
When she and Mick drove past Joan’s house, Joan was sitting on the porch, and she looked through the window of the car. She saw Carrie. Joan leaped to her feet and began running down her yard towards the car.
“Isn’t that your friend?” said Mick.
“Maybe,” said Carrie.
“Don’t you want to stop and talk to her?” he asked.
Carrie had no idea what she would say to Joan. She didn’t think she could face her best friend after the way she’d woken up this morning, covered in her parents’ blood. She shivered. “No. I don’t want to talk to her.”
She pressed down harder on the gas, trying to put Joan as far in the distance as possible.
* * *
But, of course, Joan couldn’t leave well enough alone, and Carrie’s phone started ringing nonstop. After her driving lesson, Carrie switched the thing off. She didn’t want to talk to Joan. She didn’t know how to talk to her.
And Mick was a problem too. He made himself at home in the kitchen, raiding her refrigerator and creating some kind of scrumptious-smelling supper.
The food wasn’t the problem. Not exactly. The problem was that he was acting as if he lived here, and he didn’t. He worked for the carnival. He was some guy who ran a Ferris wheel, who was also a werewolf, and he could not be here. Plus, he’d had something to do with murdering her parents. Maybe they hadn’t been able to help it because of the full moon or whatever, but that didn’t really make it better. She was so confused about him, especially because he was so gorgeous, and she didn’t think she could sort through her feelings about him unless he was gone.
Instead, he was in the kitchen sauteing vegetables and chicken.
Carrie shoved her phone into her pocket and went in. She sat down at the center kitchen island and took a deep breath. “You’re going to need to leave.”
The stove was on the center island as well. He looked up from his stirring. “I thought we went through this before, little fael. We can’t be apart anymore. I simply can’t stand it.”
“Don’t you work at that carnival or whatever? Aren’t they wondering where you are?”
“I come and go as I please,” he said. “My family owns it. They understand.”
“So, you’re just going to stay here with me?” she said. “Because, you can’t, you know. Joan keeps calling me, and she’s going to want to know why you’re here, and why I’m allowed to drive. What am I supposed to tell her? And what am I supposed to say about my parents? People will notice that they aren’t here.”
He mused over the skillet. “Well, I thought we could both go to the carnival together. I think you might enjoy it.”
“You want to me to run away with you to a carnival?” Her jaw dropped open. “That’s insane.”
He shrugged. “I don’t want to think of losing you.”
“How old are you?” She raised her eyebrows. “Are you way too old for me or what?”
“Twenty-six,” he said. “I am and always have been eight years older than you, little fael. It is perhaps a short age gap between an alpha and his beta, but I don’t think it inhibits us. If anything, I’m too young, not too old.”
She was confused again. She didn’t get this alpha stuff. “Look, Mick, you show up here and kill my parents and then make me take a shower with you and then rub my ankles and then ask me to run away with you. But you’re just a creepy old guy, and I’m only eighteen, and I’m not going to get knocked up by some carnie.”
He set down his spatula and furrowed his brow. “You seem to be misunderstanding my intentions, Carrie. There’s no intended romance. I’m your alpha. You should think of me like a father. Or if I’m too young, an uncle or an older brother.”
She swallowed. Okay, there was no way she thought of him that way. And she had to admit that she was disappointed. She’d sort of hoped… Well, she wasn’t sure what she’d hoped, but Mick was very pretty, and he had such mesmerizing stomach muscles and maybe she kind of wanted to trace them with her fingertips. Maybe she kind of wanted…
She shook herself. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He began stirring the vegetables again. He sighed. “Carrie, I know that you’re upset, and that you’ve been through a bad shock today, but—”
“I’m staying here,” she said. “Besides, I have to finish high school. I only have a month and a half left.”
“Very well,” he said. “We’ll stay, then. Until you finish high school.”
“No, you’re not getting it,” she said. “You can’t stay. You don’t live here.”
“I will stay with you, little fael,” he said. “You’re not getting it.”
She heaved an enormous smile.
“If we’re staying,” he said, “we’ll need to come up with some kind of story about what happened to your parents. We can’t say that they’re dead. It’ll raise too much suspicion. But we need some excuse for them to disappear for months.”
She chewed on her lip. He was right. Her father had a job on Monday, and when he didn’t show up, people were going to start asking questions. Her mother had charity work and book clubs and social events. If she disappeared, that was going to be a problem as well. Not to mention the question of paying all the bills that her parents usually took care of. She had no idea how to do that. She wasn’t even sure how to get at their money. She knew they had bank cards, but she wasn’t privy to their security questions and passwords. She felt helpless. “Can’t we just tell the police that they’re dead?”
“You want to explain why we buried them?”
“I’ll just blame it on you,” she said. “You did it, and you’re keeping me prisoner now.”
He looked at her. “Now, now, I really hope that I can trust you, Carrie. Besides, you need the protection of an alpha. Don’t make me angry, or I’ll abandon you.”
“You just showed up. I was fine without you.”
“I’ve been looking out for you from afar for eight years.”
“Can’t you go back to afar and keep doing that?”
“Oh come now, you don’t really want to be alone here, do you?”
She got up and went over to the refrigerator. She got out a soda and opened it. “I don’t think you should be here. It doesn’t seem right.”
“But what do you want?”
She took a drink of the soda, avoiding answering the question and avoiding thinking about what she wanted. She didn’t want it to contradict what she knew was right. “What are we going to tell people about them?”
“Can we say they went on a trip?” he said.
“I don’t know. I guess so.”
“Should it be for pleasure or necessity?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Are they on an extended vacation to France, or must they go and care for your mother’s sick sister who is dying of cancer?”
“No, my mother doesn’t have a sister.”
“France, then?”
She shook her head. “They wouldn’t do something like that. They wouldn’t leave me alone.”
“Perhaps the death of a long lost relative
,” he said. “They must put the estate in order, and they’ll be gone for weeks and weeks.”
Carrie considered, taking another drink of soda. “That might work, I guess. I could call my dad’s work and tell them that it was unexpected and that he was too distraught to call himself.”
“Can’t work forever, though,” said Mick. “We can stay until you graduate, but we can’t stay forever.”
Carrie didn’t say anything. She would use the time to figure out how to get rid of Mick. Assuming she wanted to get rid of him. Which she did. Of course, she did.
“Settling down is a luxury that wolves like us can’t afford,” said Mick. “We must keep moving. Always.”
Carrie drank more soda. She’d see about that.
Soon, dinner was ready, and she and Mick sat down to eat. She had to admit that the food was pretty good. He was a good cook.
Eating was quiet. Neither of them said much. She stared at her plate, but when she looked up, she found Mick staring at her. It should have bothered her—it did bother her—but there was something comforting about the way he watched her. She didn’t trust Mick, not entirely, but what he’d said about the two of them having a bond was true.
After dinner, she helped Mick load the dishes into the dishwasher. She thought of her mother doing it, and she cried again.
“What’s wrong?” asked Mick.
“My mother,” was all she could manage.
He only shook his head. “You’re free, Carrie. You don’t need to pretend to be so upset.”
He didn’t understand. She wondered if he was made of stone. Or maybe he was just all fur and teeth and claws. Maybe he was so much an animal, he didn’t realize what it was like to love. Maybe he wasn’t capable of it.
That terrified her. She realized that she was trapped in this house with an unfeeling monster, and she didn’t know how she was going to get free of him.
The worst of it was that some part of her didn’t want to get free of him. Some part of her wanted him close—always.
When it began to grow dark again, Carrie felt a twinge inside her body, the same pain as last night, her insides twisting, the wolf inside her twitching and ready.
Child of the Moon Page 4