“Why would you say that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just that everything seems so strange. Your parents leaving you with that Mick guy. Saying you could learn to drive. It doesn’t make sense.”
Carrie felt panicked for a moment, but then she remembered what Mick had said. It was more realistic when some things didn’t make sense. She nodded. “Yeah, I know. I don’t get it either. It’s crazy, right?”
Joan smiled, looking reassured. “Yeah. Completely crazy.”
“But good.”
“Yeah.” Joan bit her lip. “Hey, what’s that Mick guy going to say about the party?”
“He’s not my boss,” said Carrie. “Anyway, I’m getting rid of him.”
“What do you mean? How are you going to do that?”
“I don’t know yet, but I don’t need him around. I don’t need a babysitter, you know? I’m eighteen years old. I’m legally an adult. He needs to leave and go back to that carnival of his.”
“Yeah, how does he even know your family?”
She shrugged. “I have no idea. He just showed up out of nowhere.”
“So, you don’t like him?”
Carrie hesitated. The way she felt about Mick was complicated. “Just don’t worry. He’s not going to ruin the party.”
“If you say so,” said Joan.
The girls chatted the rest of the way, talking about their plans for the party, and replaying everything that Holden had said to Carrie at lunch. Carrie was happy. She hadn’t felt this happy and excited in a very long time.
But when she got home, Mick was waiting for her.
She hung up her jacket in the hall closet, and then headed up the steps to her room, ignoring him.
“Carrie,” he called after her. “We should talk.”
She kept going, still ignoring him.
He came up the steps after her.
She tried to go as fast as she could, so that she could get into the room ahead of him and shut him out, like she had before.
But Mick was too fast this time, and he forced himself into the room before she could shut the door. “Why are you always running away from me?”
She laughed. “Me running away from you? You’re the one who gets spooked every time I try to touch you.”
He glowered. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Listen, Carrie, it’s normal to feel a little… keyed up after a run, but that doesn’t mean that we can act on that.”
“You know what? It’s fine, Mick. You’re not into me. I get it. We don’t have to talk about it.”
He sighed. “I only want to assure you that you are a very attractive young woman. I don’t want you to feel as if I find fault with you. I don’t. You’re perfect, little fael.”
She fidgeted. Why did she like it so much when he said that? She shouldn’t. It was his fault that her parents were gone. She should hate him.
“It’s simply not appropriate for you and I to…” He looked down at the floor. “It’s very disturbing for me when you behave in the manner than you did last night.”
“Disturbing?” Her jaw dropped. “Why would you say that? Besides, it seemed like you liked it, and you—”
“I have been your alpha since you were ten years old,” said Mick. “In some ways, you will always be a child to me. And you are too young. Do you understand me?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “You know, Mick, right now you sound exactly like my parents.”
His lip curled. “Don’t say such a thing. I’m nothing like those people.”
“I want you to get out.”
“I’ll leave your room when you promise me that you won’t attempt anything as obscene as what you attempted last night.”
“I don’t just want you out of my room, I want you out of my house. I want you out of my life. Go away, Mick. Leave me alone.”
“I am your alpha.” He smiled tersely. “I am a part of your life for better or worse.”
She clenched her hands into fists. “Just go away.”
“Promise me, little fael.”
“I don’t have to make you any promises.” She lifted her chin. “But if you’re worried I’ll kiss you again, you can rest easy. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. Nothing at all.”
His face fell, and he looked very hurt. But he left her bedroom.
She locked the door after him. She was glad to see him go, but some part of her wanted to call him back again. She wanted to apologize and throw herself into his arms. She wanted him to stroke her hair and call her “little fael.” She gritted her teeth. Everything about Mick was confusing.
* * *
Holden came in the door of the apartment he shared with his older sister Mel. The apartment had one big open great room—living room on one side, kitchen on the other.
Mel was in the kitchen, taking frozen pizzas out of the oven. Heating up prepared frozen foods was the extent of her cooking ability, but Holden didn’t mind. Mel did the best she could for them. It couldn’t be easy for her, suddenly having to take care of her younger brother.
“Hey there,” said Mel, “nice of you to show up.”
Holden took off his jacket and hung it up next to the door. “Did I say I was going to be home earlier or something?”
“It’s almost seven,” said Mel. “School got out like four hours ago. You don’t work today. What were you doing?”
He shrugged. “Hanging out.”
“Another girl?” said Mel.
Holden shook his head. “No. But actually…” He took a deep breath. “I just sort of met a girl. I guess I always knew her, but I didn’t really know her, you know?”
Mel cut the pizza into slices. “A different girl entirely, Holden? Jesus, how many girls are you dating?”
“I’m not dating anyone.” He flopped down at the table, annoyed. “I don’t go on dates. We hang out and hook up sometimes.”
Mel rolled her eyes. “You’re turning into exactly the kind of guy I hate, Holden, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“I’m not a bad guy.” He grabbed a slice of pizza.
Mel sat down opposite him and grabbed her own piece.
He chewed and swallowed. “I’m actually kind of serious about this girl.”
“Kind of serious, huh? Wow.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Come on, don’t give me a hard time. She’s… she’s different.”
Mel set down her slice. “Different? What do you mean?”
“I mean… with all the other girls, they’re not very interesting. I don’t have anything to say to them. I don’t even really care what they like or don’t like—”
“You are such an ass, you know that?”
“Would you listen?”
She ate a bite of pizza and shrugged.
“This girl… I want to know everything about her. I never felt like that before.”
“Congratulations, little brother. You’ve just grown a heart.”
“That’s not fair.” He shoved the rest of the pizza into his mouth.
“It’s definitely fair. I’ve been trying to explain to you that women are people too. For years. And so far, you’ve never listened.”
“I know that women are people.”
“You don’t act like it.”
“I’m not hurting anyone, Mel. You act like it’s a big tragedy or something, but the girls who hang out with me know what they’re getting into. They want it just as bad as me.”
“I seriously doubt that. You only want to get in their pants. They probably actually like you.”
“I like the girls I hook up with.”
“Not in the same way.”
He sighed. “Well, I’m still young. Maybe I just haven’t met the right girl yet.”
“But this girl is the right girl?”
“I don’t know.” He got another piece of pizza. “You ever been in love with someone, Mel? You know what it feels like?”
“Now it’s love?”
“No, I’m not s
aying that. I don’t really know her. But… I just think about her a lot.”
“Is that where you were this afternoon? With this girl?”
“No,” he said. “No, I haven’t seen her since school.”
Mel raised her eyebrows. “Well, maybe there’s hope for you, after all. You’ve been mooning over one girl for an entire evening. I don’t think you’ve ever done that before.”
“See, that’s what I’m saying. It’s different.”
She chuckled. “Don’t get crazy excited, little brother.” She pointed at him. “Just be nice to this one, all right?”
“Well, how do I do that?”
“Only do things she wants to do. Don’t push her into anything.”
“How do I know what she wants?”
Mel laughed again. “Um, you could try asking her.”
He nodded. “Yeah, okay. I guess that makes sense.”
Mel let out another laugh. “You really are clueless, aren’t you, Holden?”
“That’s why I’m asking you for help,” he said.
“Well, maybe you should ask her out on a date.”
“Don’t be stupid, Mel. No one goes on dates, anymore.”
“People do. I go on dates.”
“Yeah, but you’re old.”
“I’m not old. And I was a teenager four years ago. Things have not changed that much.”
“They have, Mel. They really have.”
She rolled her eyes. “Well, if you aren’t going to go on a date, how are you going to get to know her?”
“She’s, um, she’s throwing a party. I figured I’d go to that. Talk to her then.”
“At a party? It’ll be noisy and loud and there will be a trillion other people there. How are you going to get a chance to talk to her?”
He shook his head. “You know what? I don’t even know why I bother asking you for advice, because you’re never helpful.”
“I don’t know why you ask either,” she said. “You never listen to anything I say.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Carrie opened the door and let in another stream of her classmates. She greeted them with a smile. “So glad you could come to my party. Make yourself at home.”
She was surprised at how many people had shown up already, and the night was still young. She’d been pretty sure that the party would be a success, but she’d also been worried. After all, just a few weeks ago, she’d been invisible to the rest of the senior class.
Now there were people filling up the rooms of her house. There was beer overflowing from the refrigerator, music blaring from the living room, and clusters of teenagers everywhere—laughing and talking. She was having a party. A real party. In her house.
Mick appeared at the top of the steps. “Carrie, what the hell is going on?”
Right. She’d never actually told Mick about this party. She didn’t see why she needed to. It wasn’t as if he was her boss or something. He was just some guy who’d taken up residence in her life. Without her permission, no less. She didn’t have to tell him anything.
She grinned up at him. “It’s a party, Mick. Can’t you tell? Or don’t you do anything fun?”
He motioned for her. “Come here. We need to talk.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “No.”
Mick made a pained expression.
And then suddenly, she felt an urge to go to him. Something rooted deep inside her, something connected to the wolf. Mick, Mick, Mick, it whispered inside her skull. She was climbing the steps before she knew it.
She stopped two steps below him. “What was that?”
“I’m your alpha,” he said. “You come when I call.”
Shit. That was bad. She didn’t like that at all. What else could Mick do since he was her alpha wolf? Was she going to find all of those things out just as unpleasantly as she’d found out this one?
“Why didn’t you talk to me about this party?” he said.
“I didn’t figure it was any of your business.” Thank goodness that she could still be defiant with him. Whatever alpha mojo he had over her didn’t override her own will.
“Why not? I’m here during this party, aren’t I? I’ll have to deal with its noise and its mess. I would think you’d let me know, at least to be courteous.”
“Like you would have been okay with it. You’d just have found some way to stop it.”
“I’m not going to stop it,” he said. “You’re going to stop it. You’re going to tell all your friends to leave now.”
“I am not.” She glared at him. “You can’t make me do that.”
“If you don’t,” said Mick, his voice lowering to a growl, “I’m going to shift into a wolf, and I’m going to eat all your little friends up.”
She drew back. “You wouldn’t.”
He smiled, baring his teeth. “Wouldn’t I?”
“But they’re just here to have fun. Why would you kill them?”
“I won’t if you get rid of them. I’m really not in the mood for a bunch of noisy teenagers tonight.”
She bit down on her lip. She hated Mick. And she was frightened of him. There was something about him that she never quite trusted. Even though she lived with him, and she felt as if he would never hurt her, she wasn’t sure that he was actually, well, safe. So, to keep her friends safe from him, she was going to have to shut down this party.
Except that wasn’t fair. She’d been waiting years for this party. She’d never been able to have one. And Mick didn’t have the right to take it away from her.
He’d been good to be around the past couple weeks anyway. He’d been giving her driving lessons, making awesome food, and had promised to take her to get her driver’s test soon. He’d seemed to genuinely like her and to want her to be happy.
She cocked her head at him. “Mick,” she said, softening her voice, “I really want to have this party.”
“I know that,” said Mick. “But that doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry.”
“But it really makes me happy. This is important to me.” She leaned close to him. He claimed that he didn’t like it when she touched him, but he always seemed to react when she did. He might not want to be attracted to her, but he was, and Carrie realized that she relished having that power over him.
He already looked flustered. “Little fael, this party is not a good idea.”
“Please, Mick?” She ran her fingers over his shoulder. “Please, let me do this. Don’t make me send everyone home.”
He sighed. “It’s really that important to you?”
She nodded. “I’ve never been to a high school party before. I want to have this experience.”
He shut his eyes. “All right, all right. But I don’t want this to get too out of hand, you got it?”
She grinned. “Thank you.”
“And you’re cleaning everything up on your own.”
She giggled, throwing her arms around Mick’s neck. “You’re the best, Mick. Thank you so much.”
“It’s nothing.” His voice was gruff.
She planted a kiss on his cheek.
He extricated himself from her grasp. “I’ll be checking up on things. If I don’t like what I see, then I’ll have to stop things.”
She eyed him. She kind of doubted that. Mick was actually easier to manipulate than she had first thought.
* * *
Holden arrived at the party at Carrie’s house and began to wonder if Mel hadn’t been right. It was crowded. He didn’t think he’d been to a party that was so well-attended all year. It seemed like the entire senior class was there. Everyone was curious about Carrie Beckett. She’d been weird and uninteresting, but then she’d transitioned into someone pretty and mysterious. Now everyone was intrigued by her, and they all wondered why they had never gotten to know her before.
Holden had been eating lunch with her off and on for the past couple of weeks.
She never seemed to try to impress him, and—for some reason—that impressed him. She’d sim
ply talk to him like he was anyone else. She’d stuff her face in front of him—she always seemed to be hungry. She’d tell him why she hated her biology teacher—and he wasn’t bored out his skull. He actually cared. He couldn’t get enough of this girl. He wanted to really talk to her, just the two of them, one-on-one.
He wouldn’t try to push her. Mel had said the girls he hooked up with only did it because they wanted to please him, not because they really wanted to do it. Mel said that girls weren’t as interested in sex as boys, at least not in high school. So, Holden had determined to wait when it came to Carrie. He wanted them to talk instead. To get to know each other and be friends. Maybe they could kiss, but they wouldn’t jump into anything. Usually, thinking like that would have disappointed him, but he was strangely excited by the idea.
However, he couldn’t find her anywhere at the party. He wandered through all of the rooms—the living room, the den, the kitchen. He even waited to see if she was in the downstairs bathroom.
Upstairs was apparently off-limits. If anyone tried to go up there, Carrie’s weird uncle stopped them, and everyone said he was pretty scary. The funny thing was, Holden thought Carrie’s uncle looked a lot like the guy who’d been running the Ferris Wheel at the carnival.
Anyway, he couldn’t find Carrie anywhere, and he realized that seeing her was the real reason he’d come to this party. He didn’t care about getting drunk, hanging with his friends, or scamming on girls, which were the reasons he usually went to a party. This time, he only wanted to see Carrie.
He wasn’t sure what it was about the girl, but she was special. She was alive and free and confident. And she was beautiful. She was tall and lithe and willowy. She was tiny, but she also radiated strength. Her skin was creamy. Sometimes, it almost seemed to glow. And she had dark, deep eyes. When he looked into them, he felt like he was being blown on the wind into the night air.
He wanted to touch her. He wanted to be near her. She was all he could think about.
He only had one place left to check, and that was the deck behind the kitchen. He saw a few clusters of people out there, the glowing red tips of cigarettes. He slid open the glass door and stepped outside.
But she wasn’t out there. He went from group to group, checking each of them to see.
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