But it was never meant to be…
He never wanted to be attracted to her. That was some kind of sick twist. It made him feel ashamed. The wolf inside him was repulsed by it. Their bond was that of an alpha to a beta. And alpha wolves were parents, betas children. In a natural pack, two alphas would mate, and they would have children. The children would make up the pack. So, it wasn’t natural for an alpha to be attracted to his beta wolf. It was against nature. It was obscene.
However, he and Carrie weren’t related. Even though their wolf bond might be familial, there wasn’t actually anything wrong about his attraction to her. She was a pretty young girl, and it was normal for Mick to find teenage girls attractive. Of course, that was something he never acted on. He was far too old for girls Carrie’s age. He would never attempt anything with a girl that young. But he didn’t see anything wrong with admiring them.
The problem came with Carrie herself. He was ashamed for admiring her, because he felt a fatherly protection for her. But he was also drawn to her, nearly obsessed with her because of the pull of their wolf bond. He wanted to be near her, to be close to her. He cared about her deeply. And the mix of all of those emotions confused him so much.
Now, he stared through the crack in the doorway, watching Carrie’s naked body writhing against the boy’s naked body.
And he was trembling with rage.
He wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or protectiveness or the fire of indignation. Maybe it was a mixture of all of it.
He didn’t want Carrie with that boy. But he wasn’t certain if it was because he wanted her for himself or because he didn’t think the boy was good enough for her.
Whatever the case, he was too angry to confront her, and he didn’t want to do it when she was still naked with that boy anyway. So, as soon as he saw that they were finished, Mick moved away from the doorway and stalked through the house, fuming and hurting and raging.
* * *
Carrie was still staring at her stomach, at the liquid that had come out of him, that was now on her skin. She found it intriguing. She thought it should have been gross, but it somehow wasn’t, because it had come from Holden. He wasn’t gross. He was…
What was he?
Holden picked up his shirt from the floor. “Here, let me wipe that off.”
“With your shirt?” she said. “What will you wear?”
“Uh…” He seemed at a loss. “I’m sorry. I made a mess on you. I feel—”
“It’s okay,” she said. And it was.
“It’s just we didn’t use a condom, and…”
Oh, right. How could she have forgotten that? Damned stupid wolf in her head had wiped away every bit of sense. She’d been so afraid of losing control that she’d done this crazy thing. She’d had sex. Unprotected sex. She bit her lip.
“I’m really sorry.” Holden looked wretched.
She reached up and put her palm against his cheek. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I pushed.” She swallowed. “I don’t know if I can explain why. God, you must think I’m a slut.”
“No.” He shook his head furiously. “I swear I don’t think that at all. You’re… amazing.”
And then they were kissing, and his semen was smearing over both of their bodies, but that didn’t seem to matter either, not now.
His lips left hers. “Carrie,” he murmured.
She ran her hands over his back. “Can you stay?” she asked.
“I don’t ever want to leave.”
They crawled up to the top of the bed and burrowed under the covers. Below them, the party raged on for a few hours before it began to peter out and all the guests left.
And Mick stalked the hallways of the house, furious and brooding.
CHAPTER NINE
Holden stood with his back to the mirror. He was craning his neck around to see his reflection. He was in his bedroom, and he’d only just gotten home from the party last night. It was ten in the morning.
There were long scratches on his back.
Funny. He didn’t remember Carrie dragging her nails down his back. But she must have, because he could see ten red, angry stripes from his shoulder blades all the way down to his waist. When he touched one, it was tender and sore. He winced.
“Did you just get home?” said Mel.
He turned away from the mirror to see his sister lounging in the doorway to his bedroom. “Yeah.”
Mel shook her head. “You never listen to me, do you?”
“What are you talking about?” He twisted his neck again to look at the scratches. How had he not even felt these things?
“Were you with that girl? The one who’s ‘different’?”
“Actually, I was.”
“And didn’t I tell you to take things slow?”
“I tried.” He glared at Mel. “She didn’t want it slow.”
“Yeah right.” Mel snorted.
“She didn’t,” said Holden. “I told you she was different, didn’t I?”
Mel made a funny face. “Did she do that to your back?”
Now Holden felt ashamed of the scratches. He felt like there was no possible way that Mel could understand. He’d forged a connection with Carrie, something strong. He knew it, and his body felt it. The scratches… the scratches were part of it. He shrugged into a shirt. “It’s nothing.”
“Wait,” said Mel. “Maybe I should meet this girl.”
Holden arched an eyebrow at her. She’d never ever tried to meet any of the girls he’d hooked up with. It was completely out of left field for her to say that.
“Holden, I’m serious,” said Mel.
He pushed past her out of his bedroom and headed for the bathroom. He needed a shower.
* * *
Carrie settled into a chair across from her school counselor, Mrs. Finch. It had been nearly three weeks since Mick had taken up residence in her house, and everything in her life had changed. She was close to graduation now, less than a month out. She had no idea why the counselor would want to see her. It seemed awfully late to clarify college plans. Carrie was enrolled in the local community college, because her parents hadn’t wanted to let her out of their sight.
Actually, she might want to change colleges, now that she thought about it. But she wasn’t sure how she was going to do that. It would require having access to her parents’ money, and no one knew they were dead.
As usual, she felt a painful stab when she thought of her parents’ demise, but it was fading. It wasn’t nearly as sharp as it had been in the beginning.
Mrs. Finch rested her hands on the desk primly. She was a tiny woman with a hook-shaped nose and frizzy red hair. “Hi there, Carrie. How are you doing?”
Carrie shrugged. “Fine.” One of the things Carrie hated about Mrs. Finch was that she always talked to her like she was a five-year-old. Of course, Mrs. Finch talked that way to everyone, even other adults. It was her normal tone. That didn’t make it any less annoying.
“I’ve had some concerns reported to me about you,” said Mrs. Finch.
Carrie sat up straight. “What? From who?”
Mrs. Finch shrugged. “Oh, you know, teachers, classmates, the usual.”
Carrie couldn’t believe that people were rushing to talk to Mrs. Finch about her. She supposed that her transformation had seemed miraculous to others, so maybe that was why. Still, it rankled, because none of this was anyone’s business. And besides, she was going to graduate in less than a month. Why did anyone care?
Mrs. Finch cocked her head. “What’s been going on with you, hmm?”
“Nothing.”
“Now, now, Carrie, we both know that’s not true. You’ve been behaving quite differently these past few weeks. You’ve changed your style of dress, and you seem to have started to associate with a different social group.”
Carrie snorted. “You mean I have a social group now? Because before, no one paid any attention to me.”
“Is that how you see it?”
“Is there a dif
ferent way to see it?”
“You know, Carrie, sometimes when something traumatic happens in our lives, we adjust to it by drastically changing everything in our lives. It’s a defense mechanism. We feel so different that we don’t think we could possibly go back to the way things were before. But, unfortunately, it is only a way of hiding from our fears. Eventually, we must face the trauma to get past it. Please understand that if something happened to you, you can tell me about it.”
Sure thing, Mrs. Finch. See, I shifted into a werewolf and killed my parents. Like she’d ever say that out loud. Mrs. Finch would only call the SF, and Mick had told her the SF wasn’t anything good.
“Did something happen?” said Mrs. Finch.
“No,” said Carrie, pressing her lips together.
“Maybe someone close to you passed away, or maybe there’s trouble between your parents at home. Maybe you and a close friend argued. Maybe—”
“Nothing traumatic happened,” Carrie snapped.
Mrs. Finch narrowed her eyes.
Damn it. She guessed that denying it so vehemently made it sound suspicious, didn’t it?
“No one’s seen your parents in weeks, Carrie,” said Mrs. Finch. “I called your father’s work, and they said he was on an extended leave of absence to deal with the estate of a dead relative.”
“That’s right,” said Carrie. “He and my mom went to take care of my great-aunt Agatha.”
“And they left you here all alone?”
“I’m eighteen years old. I’m legally an adult.”
“But you are still in high school, and you are still very young. Being essentially abandoned by your parents—”
“I’m fine.” Carrie glared across the desk. “I’m just trying to have a little fun before I graduate. That’s all.”
Mrs. Finch raised her eyebrows. “And are you having fun?”
“Yes.” Carrie folded her arms over her chest.
“Do your parents know about this fun?”
Carrie sighed. “Is that your business, Mrs. Finch?”
“I wonder if you’d mind giving me a number where I can reach your parents.”
“Impossible,” said Carrie. “There’s no phone service in Great-Aunt Agatha’s house, and it’s too far out for cell towers.” She was making this up as she went along. “I can give you the address if you want to send a letter.”
Mrs. Finch gave her a hard look, as if she was trying to see if Carrie was lying just by looking into her eyes. “Fine, then. Write down that address for me.” She handed Carrie a pad of paper.
Carrie scribbled nonsense on it, making up a street name and number. She picked the name of a remote town that she knew about because one of her friends in elementary school had gone there in the summer and been unreachable for months. She slid the paper across the desk. “I don’t know the zip code. Sorry.”
Mrs. Finch took the paper. “Since you and Holden Rane have been spending so much time together, I suppose you know Melanie Rane, his sister.”
Actually, Carrie hadn’t met any members of Holden’s family. Whenever she and Holden were together—which was often, Mrs. Finch was right about that—they didn’t end up talking much. They hadn’t had sex again, though. She’d managed to keep from progressing to that point again, and Holden wasn’t pushing her there. Instead, they made out. A lot. Carrie shook her head. “Um, no, not really.”
“Well, but you know that Melanie is his legal guardian since his parents are dead.”
Actually, she hadn’t known that. Why hadn’t Holden told her? It seemed like such an important thing. How could she feel so close to him and not know this about him? “Um… actually, no.”
Mrs. Finch looked grim. “Well, Carrie, Melanie is a bit concerned about your relationship with Holden.”
Oh. That was why Carrie was here, wasn’t it? These teachers and classmates weren’t real. It was only Holden’s sister. Why would she be concerned about Carrie?
“I know Melanie, because she graduated from this school, and she’s been given such a hard task trying to raise her brother on her own, and so she and I are in communication, just as I am in communication with Holden. I told her I would speak to you, make my own assessment.”
“Assessment of what?”
“Of whether you are stable,” said Mrs. Finch.
Carrie gave her an indignant look. “Mrs. Finch, you’re a school counselor, and I don’t think you’re supposed to be using your job to do favors for someone who doesn’t even go to school here anymore. You can’t assess me for her. Besides, I’m totally stable.”
“I’ve talked to some other students about you, Carrie. They say you’re like a different person these past few weeks.”
“Like I said—”
“Someone also told me that there was a big rug in your living room covering up a stain on the floor.”
Carrie went cold all over. “What?”
“They said you had a party,” said Mrs. Finch, “and that in your living room, there was a stain on the floor. It looked like blood.” She cocked her head to one side. “The last time anyone saw your parents, it was the night of the full moon. And you seem to have changed.”
“What are you saying?” said Carrie, her heart pounding.
“I’m saying that unless you can prove to me that your parents are fine, Carrie, I’m calling the SF. Because I think you’re a werewolf.”
CHAPTER TEN
Holden knocked on the door to Coach Vance’s classroom. He knew that it was Coach’s free period, and he wanted to talk to him. It was going to be a sort of awkward conversation, but he’d had Coach for health class, and they’d talked a lot about this kind of stuff. Coach never got embarrassed about it. He was straight with all of them and answered their questions. So, Holden was pretty sure that he could come see him now.
Coach looked up from his desk. “Hey, Holden. You need something?”
Holden stepped into the room and pulled the door closed. “Uh, I wanted to ask you something. It’s kind of a question about, like, health class stuff.”
“You mean sex,” said Coach.
Holden laughed a little. That was Coach, all right. He was pretty direct about it. “Uh, I guess so.”
“Okay,” said Coach. “You should know, though, that I can’t really give you advice. I’m not qualified to do that. I can give you information, though. That’s my job. I’m a teacher. So, what’s on your mind?”
That spiel was typical too. Holden was pretty sure that Coach said it to avoid a lawsuit or something. Maybe talking to teenagers about sex was something that could get you sued if you weren’t careful.
Holden nodded. “I get it. And I just have a question about… well, about not using a condom.”
Coach raised his eyebrows. “If you don’t use condoms, you significantly increase your chances of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.”
“Yeah, I know that,” said Holden. “But I mean, if it like… happened, and the guy didn’t, you know…” What was the proper, clinical word? “Ejaculate, like in the girl. Would that… mean…?”
“That would reduce the chances of pregnancy,” said Coach. “But not as much as a condom would, because it’s still possible for there to be sperm in pre-ejaculate. And some people try to use that as a form of birth control, but most people aren’t perfect at it. It’s easy to make a mistake and not pull out in time. I can’t give you advice, Holden, but I would say that most officials do not recommend that as a reliable method of birth control.”
Holden swallowed. “So, you’re saying that if someone did that, there’s a chance that the girl got pregnant.”
“Well, yes,” said Coach. “But to be fair, there’s a chance that she’d get pregnant even with a condom. The only way to assure that pregnancy never happens is to abstain from sexual activity.”
Holden nodded. “Yeah.” He was feeling a little sick to his stomach.
“However,” said Coach, “if the guy in this hypothetical situatio
n of ours did manage to pull out in time, there’s actually a very low chance of pregnancy. It’s not as good as a condom, but it is better than ninety percent.”
Holden let out a slow breath. “Seriously?”
“I’m not saying this to encourage you to use this as a method of birth control. It’s not recommended, because most people aren’t perfect at it,” said Coach, “but, yes, I’m serious. Still, even if this hypothetical lady friend of yours—er, of the guy’s—doesn’t end up pregnant, that doesn’t mean that they’re in the clear. They should both get tested for STDs.”
Holden nodded. “Right. Okay. Thanks, Coach.” He started for the door.
“Oh, and Holden?” Coach called after him. “Don’t forget about the lupine virus. There’s no test for that, but it can be transmitted sexually. You don’t want to find yourself howling at the moon, so wrap it up next time!”
Holden laughed. “Sure thing, Coach.”
“And that wasn’t advice,” said Coach. “Not really. You’ll have to make your own choices, of course.”
“Of course.” Holden swung open the door and left the room.
* * *
Carrie gaped at Mrs. Finch. How had this woman figured it out? She couldn’t know. She’d figured it out with a stain on the floor and the fact that it had been a full moon? Was it really that obvious?
Carrie knew that a lot of people were scared of werewolves. There were fringe groups who wanted to have all werewolves killed, even if they hadn’t hurt anyone. And some people seemed to think that werewolves were everywhere. They were really paranoid about them. So, maybe it wasn’t so strange that Mrs. Finch had figured it out, but Carrie hadn’t thought it would be so easy. She had counted on being able to hide her wolfness, at least until she graduated. After that, she wasn’t sure. Honestly, she hadn’t been thinking much about the future lately. Mostly, she’d been enjoying the life she’d always wanted. She had friends now, people to sit with at lunch. And she was dating Holden Rane, just like she’d dreamed. Sure, they hadn’t officially said they were dating or anything, but he was always with her, every chance he got. All of that was perfect, and she had been basking in it. Now, here was Mrs. Finch, staring at her, knowing her secret, and threatening to ruin everything.
Child of the Moon Page 9