by C. D. Gorri
I took the first step. It was the hardest, surely. Was I going the right way? Would I die tonight? What about Nonna? Uncle Vito? Uncle Sean? Angela? Less? That boy with the blue eyes who believed I would save him? Would I see them again?
No, no. I’m a failure. A loser. I don’t deserve happiness. Look what I did to Sebby. He was be-spelled because of me.
And beautiful Julianna. She was in danger too because of me. Even though she hates me, she is my blood. She is right to hate me. I am disgusting. I was never as good as her. I don’t deserve to be part of her family.
Nonna deserves better than me too. I could never be good enough. My own parents didn’t want me. My mother cried when she found out she was pregnant. My father abandoned her. But he was really leaving me. He knew. What kind of child repulses her own parents?
Ronan. He is too good for me. His loyalty and love are two things I could never expect. I’m not pretty enough, not good enough for him. He has a chance to be with Julianna. He could never really want me. What could I offer him?
Every step got harder. I was panting with the effort to keep moving. My mind swam with all these doubts and insecurities. It was painful to think, but still I kept on. Forcing myself to march.
Up ahead I saw something. A flicker of light. Like a flame. Some kind of fire maybe? I staggered on. The weight of each step immense. A guttural voice sounded up ahead. I think he was laughing.
“Do you know how exquisite you are, She-Hound?” A shadow passed along the far wall. It was humanoid, but for the pointed tail and large bat-like wings protruding from his back.
“Truly, tis a shame my master bids me destroy you. But indeed, I am granted a prize. Surely a bride is not too much to ask. Now change, so we may talk.”
I collapsed to the floor in front of the fire, my Wolf was exhausted from the strain of the mental attack of the thing before me. It is okay, I told her. Thank you.
Be careful, little one. This black sheep is not to be trusted. I need but a moment. Never let your guard down.
In an instant I was a girl again. My hair was loose and covered me, but still I felt my nakedness in front of the demon’s minion’s unholy stare. He meant to shame me. I remembered the Creation story I had just read. After the fall Adam and Eve covered themselves. Hiding their nudity in shame. That was the Devil’s doing. This minion of his would not shame me. I stood up tall.
“Yes. You are lovely. A prize indeed. Why not be mine?”
He stepped into the light and for the first time I could see his face. He looked to be no older than I. A teenaged demon? Short spiked black hair and shocking black eyes. His face was beautiful. Like a model. Angular cheeks and full lips. His body was thin and tall. Though not tall like Ronan and nowhere near as muscular.
“There is no point in saying no. My master will have all he desires. Tis written. You shall fail and all you love will die because of you. They seek to protect you, but how can they win? My master’s resources are unlimited. He shall have the world. But I can save you. I can show you the truth, Grazi.”
Doubts, fears. These were his weapons. He was sneaky. I suppose that was his nature. The problem was he had hit a nerve. I didn’t want anyone getting hurt for me.
“What do you know of the truth?”
“Oh, I know much that you seek to discover. Be with me and I will tell you all. I will tell you how your weak father broke, how he betrayed your mother. And she who was not meant for this world, for our world, was tortured by the knowledge of it. How you were such a disappointment to her.” He smiled as he spoke. But it didn’t reach his black eyes.
“Don’t you dare talk about my parents! You don’t know anything about them!”
“Of course I do, silly princess. I was there you see. I was there when your father lost himself to his Wolf and ripped your mother’s sweet throat out!”
“Shut up! Shut up!” I screamed at him, but he continued.
“Everyone you love has lied to you, Grazi. Your mother, your father, your grandmother, your uncles, all of them.”
“Oh yeah, what about the prophecy! You’re master is afraid of me!”
“Ha ha ha. Now that is laughable. Afraid of you? Puny dog! You are nothing and Moloch is strong! So very strong.” He reached out his clawed hand and stroked my hair. I cringed.
“You are not the savior they seek, Grazi. The Hounds will all die. But you can be spared. Let me help you.”
“How do you know this? How do you know my friends will die?”
“Isn’t it obvious? My master is too powerful. Soon he will cross over and there will be nothing left for you to fight for. I offer you life, with me. Maybe I could see to it my master spares some of your friends too.”
I watched him circle me. His black eyes glittering in the darkness of the cave. Betraying his lust, his greed. They clashed with his boyish face. Another place, another time I might have thought him handsome.
His voice was like silk as he tried to persuade me. My stomach turned. He was not human. I had to remember that. He was a demon and demons lie.
“Well, do you choose death or life She-Hound?” He wrapped a good eight inches of my hair around his hand and sniffed me. I cringed as far back as I could then I met hos gaze.
“I would rather die than be with you!”
He snarled, reached back his massive clawed hand and slapped me. Hard. Right across my face. I fell, almost to the floor but his grip on my hair held me up.
“And you shall!” He raked his claws across his arm. I didn’t feel anything at first then a sharp tug and I fell to the floor. No! My hair! He cut my hair! I grabbed and found a at least a foot of hair missing. I rolled over trying to get away.
He yowled and crouched down, sticking his hand into the flames. He brought it back out and released embers and flames onto my face and body. He spoke some kind of demonic language as he did so. His face red and his eyes blazing.
I worked furiously to beat out the flames on my skin. The pain is not something I could describe. Like blistering heat. A furious angry burn that was consuming me from the outside in.
I looked down and saw my skin boiling on my left hand and wrist. I grabbed at it and the skin there just peeled right off. Like wax. There was a sound. A scream, no a howl. It was coming from my throat. I could feel my Wolf furiously trying to take over, to relieve my pain. But my body burned. I could feel only pain. It was too much to try to concentrate on changing.
I looked up in my agony as the boy demon dropped his stance. Horror seemed to show in his face, but I turned my back on compassion. I reached for him as he crouched down then leapt into the air. He took off down the tunnel. I raked a path down his bare torso with my outstretched hand. He flew in a fury of screams and wicked laughter.
Fire and rock seemed to explode from the small campfire he had made. I covered my eyes and ran from the tunnels, my skin still burning. My human feet cut and bleeding from the sharp rocks I forced myself onward. I fell to the forest floor, gasping and shuddering. Help! Help me! My mind screamed, but my lips made no sound.
“She is coming to. Get water.” I recognized the voice. SilverWolf was hovering over me. He said a blessing over the water then poured it down my throat. It was cool and refreshing.
“This will hurt, Grazi. Close your eyes, think of something else. Something nice.”
The liquid turned from cool and refreshing to bitterly frigid. My insides were freezing I was too numb to move. To blink. My eyes were open. I saw Ronan, frantic, screaming at SilverWolf. The older Wolf shook him off and poured more holy water down my throat.
“It must be holy water, to quench the demon fire or she will continue to burn until there is nothing left. Now help me, pup. Hold her down or by God get out of my way.” SilverWolf’s threat was low, but I knew he meant it. I could hear Ronan whine. He was worried.
I closed my eyes. I could not bear to think of Ronan angry or hurt. Was that blood on his clothing? Was it his? No I couldn’t afford the thought that he may be seriously inj
ured.
I thought of him smiling instead. Or serious faced and lying next to me. Holding me as if he’d never let me go. Loyal and honorable. Ronan with his fire kissed hair and emerald eyes. He said he’d never leave me.
The pain was all in my skin now. As if the burning from my throat and belly had somehow transferred to my arms and leg. Especially my shoulder. I closed my eyes tighter. Sweat clung to my brow and tears ran down my face. I had never been much of a fan of pain, but this was something I don’t think I’d wish on my worst enemy.
Holy water was poured on my arms and hands and I was blind and deaf to all, but the pain. My body started trembling. As if I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. And then it stopped. I stopped. The itching, burning, freezing, scratching sensation started to fade. My temporary paralysis too.
I took in great big gulps of air. I was able to move my arms and my hands I found them gripping something. A hand. Ronan’s hand. His mouth was moving too. Worry shone from his eyes. What was he saying? The same word over and over again. Maria. He was calling me. My name. Calling me home.
“Maria! You’re back. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”
“Get her inside. Now.” SilverWolf stood next to him. His expression unreadable.
“Maria, look at me. I’m going to lift you up. It’ll hurt, but I’ll try to be gentle.” I nodded and readied myself for the pain of being moved. Ronan covered me with a something. A shirt. His. It smelled good. Like pine trees and his Wolf.
He lifted me surely in his arms. Careful not to be too rough. He walked steadily and smoothly. I barely jostled in his grip.
I must have passed out again because when I came to I was bandaged and in a room I had never seen before. It was four in the morning. I knew because of the digital clock on the bedside table. Ronan was at my side. Slumped over in an arm chair. His breathing steady and even. Like just about everything else about him. I guess I was just beginning to see the pattern there.
“You look like crap.” My voice sounded hoarse. Unfamiliar. His head popped up. Green eyes looked me over from head to toe.
“You look beautiful.”
I laughed, but that hurt so I stopped too soon.
“Here. Drink this.” He offered me a straw. I looked warily at the cup.
“It’s just water. We put the demon fire out. I promise.” He held it to my lips and I took a sip. A very long sip.
He just smiled and refilled the cup from the pitcher on the table. I stopped his hand with my bandaged one as he held it to my lips. Sure I was thirsty, but this couldn’t wait another minute.
“They told me to close my eyes, think of something nice. There was only one thing I could think of, you. It’s always been you.” That last part came out a whisper. He bent his head to mine and I trembled, but in a good way. I breathed him in and felt at peace for the first time in a long time.
We arrived back home the next day, a little worse for wear but still, we were whole. And I wasn’t complaining. I was healing, a little more slowly than I would have liked, but my skin had mostly repaired itself. My hair, not so much.
Cara took a scissor to it and managed to straighten it out. It no longer reached my waist. I lost a good ten inches she said. It was now in the middle of my back. I am embarrassed to say I cried about it. For a full hour.
Around my neck was a smaller version of a dreamcatcher. Alessio had made it for me special and made me promise not to take it off until we learned more about my gift or curse or whatever it was.
“Call it a birthday gift.” He said when we stopped at his grandmother’s house with a message from SilverWolf. It was in a closed envelope. I have no idea what it said.
I was glad to see Less so I accepted the gift and put it on. It was rather pretty with tiny little beads hanging from it. That’s when I realized they were from Ronan’s own necklace.
“Nice job.” Ronan said and slapped Less on the back before we left.
“What does this mean?” I asked fingering one of the beads.
“I’ll tell ya later.” Was all he said before dropping a quick kiss on my brow.
“Maria Graziana! What happened?” Nonna rushed towards me in the driveway. Her apron stained with sauce and what smelled like stuffing and gravy. Then I realized it was Thanksgiving. My birthday. I must have been unconscious for longer than I thought.
“I’m okay, Nonna.” I let her embrace me and tried not to make a face when she squeezed my wrist. The place where my skin had melted off was still bandaged and had yet to heal fully.
“Your hair? Che fai? You did this!” She wagged her finger at UncleSean. He stood there, head bowed and made no move to protect himself when Nonna poked him in the chest. I smelled his amusement and his shame. He believed it was his fault.
“Nonna, please, no fighting today. Besides, it’s my birthday.”
“Si, I know. Come we eat.”
“We?”
“Yes, si, all of you. Wash up and then we eat. I cooked enough for even a pack of Werewolves to get full!”
I grinned and held out my hands. Ronan took one and Uncle Sean took the other. We entered my house together. Uncle Vito, Aunt Theresa, Julianna and Rebecca were at Aunt Theresa’s sister’s house. I was grateful for that.
Nonna had decorated simply. A few fall mums and a large bowl of oranges sat in the middle of the long dining room table. There were plates of antipasto, Italian dried sausages, prosciutto, cheeses and olives, eggplant, zucchini, stuffed mushrooms and artichokes. Uncle Sean said grace and he and the other Wolves filled their plates.
Next we had stuffed shells and Nonna’s special meatballs. After that she brought out not one, but two turkeys and two Virgina hams. Each perfectly roasted and absolutely delicious. We ate, we drank we laughed and I realized how lucky I was to be home. To have made it back with the people I truly care about.
Alessio made it in time for the turkey. He of course had to stay and help his grandmother and eat with them first. Angela and Derek came by in time for desert. My grandmother had outdone herself. She constructed an entire cake out of homemade cream puffs and eclairs. My absolute favorite.
“Here. Open this.” Ronan thrust out a small wrapped package as I was watching my grandmother play a game of scrabble with Alessio, Angela, and Derek. Dimitri and Sascha were eating again trying to determine the ingredients in Nonna’s meatballs. Good luck there, fellas.
I looked around the room. Cara was brooding over a cup of espresso. Uncle Sean was looking at baby pictures of me in an album Nonna kept under the coffee table. And me. Well, I was in the corner with Ronan, happy that everyone was here, but still wishing we were alone.
“What is it?”
“It’s a birthday present.”
“I can see that. But what is it?” He shrugged infuriatingly and I sighed. I opened the box and let out a squeal of delight.
“Wow! I love him! I absolutely love him!”
“Yeah?”
“Yes! He’s perfect.”
“Nah, he’s cute, but you’re perfect.” And he kissed me lightly and quickly on the lips. I smiled and looked down at the rubber duck in my palm. It was a wolfy duck and he was gorgeous. I knew just where I was going to put him.
Everyone left after putting away leftovers and the rest of the cleaning was done. Uncle Vito and his family were spending the night at Aunt Theresa’s sister’s house and Nonna went to bed after two cups too many of good red wine that Uncle Sean had brought over. I smiled. It was a great birthday and Thanksgiving. Everyone was there. Everyone, but SilverWolf.
It seemed he had left just when I had come to in Pennsylvania. Without explanation or indication of returning a he was wont to do. Poof. He vanished into thin air. I tapped my fingers on my bedside table.
Ronan had waited for me to shower and dress in my jammies before changing my bandage. It was almost completely healed, but he advised me to eat more protein and get a good night’s rest. I knew he was right, but food was the last thing on my mind.
I kept picturing the fight in the cave. And the warning the demon boy had given me. Join him or watch everyone I care about die.
Hmm. I went to my laptop and logged into Wolf Moon. There was an instant message waiting for me.
How you doing, WolfGirl?
I’m fine. Where did you go?
Oh here and there. Did you learn anything?
I guess. I have a question for you.
Of course you do. What is it?
Is there a God?
I don’t know. And I waited a long time to find out.
Who was that demon? The one with the boy’s face?
I’m working on it, WolfGirl. Just stay safe till I have some answers.
It’s not easy.
No, it never is.
I thought about that for a few minutes after logging off. I guess it was true. It’s not easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is.
I just wondered if the guy who said that ever turned into a Werewolf and had to fight demonic forces to save the ones he loved.
Hmmm. Probably not. At any rate, God, if you are listening. I don’t pretend to understand your plan. But I believe in you. And I believe I can do something. Especially when I’ve got family and friends like, Nonna, Ronan, Uncle Sean, Angela, and Alessio on my side. So I want to thank you. Thank you for them. But please, help me keep them safe.
Amen.
About the Author
C.D. Gorri earned her Bachelor’s Degree in English Literature from Montclair State University. She lives in her home state of New Jersey with her husband, three children, and dog. She is an avid reader of all genres, but especially loves fantasy. Besides reading her hobbies include cooking, gardening, volunteering at her children’s school, and researching various topics.