by Sean Michael
The bathroom was clean, with towels laid out for him. God, it was good to be home. Ryan was so good to him.
He made the water as hot as he could stand it and stepped in under the spray. He washed his hair a couple of times and scrubbed himself with soap twice that. Then he simply stood under the water, hoping it was early enough that if he stayed in the spray until the water began to cool, nobody would mind.
Hell, it was Saturday, right? They had a weekend ahead of them?
He closed his eyes and turned his face up to the water, humming happily. Aside from Ryan and the girls, he thought running hot-and-cold water and modern plumbing were the things he missed the most when he was away.
Pizza was number three. Pizza at will.
His stomach snarled, and he told it to shut up. He’d eaten better last night than he had since he’d first left. He was still hungry, though. Would it be wrong to order pizza for breakfast? There had to be a twenty-four-hour place in the area. He could get a meat lovers…. Hell, he could get a cheese pizza and be happy.
He wasn’t sure what Ryan would say about that. Actually, he was. He’d say, “Let’s order that for lunch, huh?”
Alex would make bacon and eggs for the family. Maybe toast and beans to go with it if Ryan had all that. His stomach growled again, and that was his cue to get out of the shower. He turned the water off and grabbed a towel.
He dried off, got his pants on, then opened the bathroom door to find Rosie standing there, staring at him.
“I need to potty.”
“Okay, honey, it’s all yours. Do you need help?” He had no clue how hard it was for her to do the everyday stuff like peeing with that cast on.
He’d let her go and then he’d talk to her about her still being mad. See if he could find a way to get back into her good graces sooner than later.
She shook her head. “Popsy sleeps. Shh.”
“Okay, shh.” He closed the door behind her and waited in the hall.
He heard the toilet flush, the little scrape of the stool toward the sink.
He wondered if he could convince her that she should help him make breakfast.
She came out and looked at him, eyes so serious.
He decided she deserved for him to meet her head-on. “You want to go downstairs and talk?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, I’m not mad at you, but you’re mad at me, so we should talk about it. I don’t want you to be mad at me.” Not for a second longer.
Alex hoped Ryan didn’t wake up, or if he did, that he didn’t come to Alex’s aid—he needed to do this himself.
“Will you talk to me about it, sweetie?”
“Popsy is sleeping.” She sounded so serious.
“How about we talk about it downstairs then, so we don’t wake him?” He matched her tone, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.
“’Kay. Come with me.” She took his hand and led him downstairs.
He followed her to the kitchen table, and they both sat. Her little face was still so very serious.
“Popsy says I need to say sorry. So I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, Rosie?” He didn’t think she needed to apologize for being mad. Those were her emotions.
“For being mean.”
“Then I accept your apology. Now, can you tell me why you’re mad at me?” That way he could apologize too.
She shook her head, her face so adult and sad.
“You can’t? How am I going to apologize and try to make it better if you don’t tell me?” He thought he would do pretty much anything to take that look off her face and replace it with the wonderful joy he was used to.
“Are you sorry too?”
“I am. I am so sorry that I hurt you and that you’re mad and upset.” He reached out, wanting to take her hand and hold it.
“I breaked my arm. Did you know?”
“I did. You’ve got an amazing cast on. I want to sign it when you’re ready to let me.”
“I was brave. Very brave.”
“Yeah, Mel told me you were. I’m proud of you for that, but I’m not surprised. You are a very strong girl.”
She nodded like she knew. “I don’t like it when you go away. I love you, and I want you to be here to help take care of me.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I love you too, Rosie. I want to stay here too, but sometimes I have to go. My job is to help people, but those people aren’t here. They’re in different countries.”
“It’s not fair, though.”
“No, I guess it’s not. But it’s not fair that things like hurricanes and earthquakes tear down people’s homes. And it’s not fair that villages in Africa have no water.”
“Uh-huh. Can I go see Popsy now?” She looked worried and uncomfortable.
“Can I have a hug first, sweetie? Please?” He had to admit, he hated that his job upset her like this.
“Yes. Yes. I was so glad to know you were home. I glittered your sign and made you a cake.” She pushed into his arms and held on tight.
He held her close, not wanting to let go. “I love the glitter on my sign, and your cake was the best I’ve ever had.”
She sighed. “I love you, Lex.”
“I love you too, Rosie. You’re a sweetheart, and when you’re happy it makes me happy too. And if you’re sad, it makes me sad too.”
“Me too. Can we… can we have breakfast? My belly is so hungry.”
“Yeah. I was hoping you’d help me decide what to make and give me a hand with it?”
“Egg and sausage?”
“That is an excellent choice! How do you want to do the eggs? Fried? Scrambled? Boiled?” He didn’t let go of her, holding her in his lap.
“Scrambled with cheese?” She leaned into him, trusting him to hold her.
“That sounds delicious. We’ll make it for you and me, and once we’ve eaten, we can make some for everyone else. How does that sound?”
“Uh-huh. You have to do the stove part, though, or Popsy will be mad.” Her eyes went huge.
“He’s pretty strict about the stove, eh? Don’t worry, I will do all the stove stuff. Do you want to get the ingredients we need out of the fridge?” Was that okay?
“Eggs and yellow cheese and…?”
“Uh, the milk and the sausages. One at a time.” He pulled out the frying pan.
“’Kay, Lex. Milk and sausage and yellow cheese and eggs! Milk and sausage and yellow cheese and eggs!” Her little song cracked him up.
It worked, though. She remembered every ingredient and took each one out and put them on the counter for him.
Together they mixed and cracked and stirred, Rosie chattering at him the whole time. God, he had missed this—missed her.
When they were done, he dished the plates up and let her carry them to the kitchen table, one at a time. She was so serious as she concentrated on getting the full plates to the table without dropping them or letting anything fall off them.
“Pour the milk, Lex.”
“Yes, Princess Rosie.”
That earned him a soft giggle as she got settled. And he loved that sound. He wanted to hear it a lot. That sweet happiness and joy.
He cut up her sausage for her, refilled her glass when she drank all her milk, and ate with her, both of them finishing their plates.
“You like eggs, Lex.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement of fact.
“I do. You like them too.” She’d eaten her entire plate of food, after all. “I like lots of foods.” There wasn’t much he wouldn’t eat.
“I do too. I am going to be a chef when I grow up.”
“I know. I can’t wait to be your guinea pig. Do you know what that means?”
She shook her head.
“It means you try all your recipes on me, and I’ll eat them and let you know how they taste.”
“Popsy too!” She looked so pleased. “Popsy and Lex.”
“Yep. Me and your Popsy.” It felt like he’d been l
et back into the promised land to have his little mini-me happy and including him. “Did you get enough to eat? Is there anything else you want for breakfast?”
“I can have toast with Popsy. Maybe pancakes with syrups.”
He chuckled. “You are hungry this morning. Do you think we should wait for everyone to wake up before we make pancakes?” He wasn’t sure he knew how to make pancakes and hoped Ryan had a recipe somewhere.
Rosie nodded. “I’ll go find sisters.”
“Wait. If they’re still asleep, we shouldn’t wake them. We can do something together instead, maybe, until everyone comes down.” Or out, given the two who were on the sofa.
“’Kay.” Just so easy. Thank you, God, for letting her forgive him.
“So what would you like to do?” He was up for anything; he just wanted her to keep being happy.
“Watch Food Network in Popsy’s room!”
He knew Ryan had been awake earlier, but they were going to wake him if he’d drifted back off. Still, the temptation to sit in bed with two of his favorite people was huge, so he nodded. “That sounds like a plan.”
As he took her hand, his ringtone sounded. Where had Ryan plugged his phone in?
It sounded twice more before he found it at the far end of the kitchen counter. He checked the caller ID. Sally. Oh God, he hoped everyone had made it home okay. He answered it. “Hi, Sally.”
“Hey. We have to go to Tongo.”
“Tongo? Why do we have to go to Tongo?”
“There’s been a wildfire. It’s….”
“No.”
“What?”
“I only just got home, Sally. It’s barely been a night. My clothes aren’t even out of the dryer yet.”
“But—”
Rosie came to him, held on to his free hand, not tugging or fussing at him. He thought she was trying to offer him support.
There was no way she’d understand him leaving again so soon. Besides that, he wasn’t ready to go back yet. Chile had been brutal. “No buts, Sally. I need to decompress.” And his relationship with Ryan deserved a chance. Dropping in for food, a shower, and having his clothes washed was not a way to foster any relationship. “I need to see my lover and the kids. I need to make pancakes.”
The line was really quiet for a second. “But we need you.”
“So do they, Sally. Find someone else for this one.” He looked down at Rosie and squeezed her hand. “Now I have to go and be. Good luck.”
She was still trying to convince him as he hung the phone up.
Then he simply turned it off.
He was home, dammit, and his girl wanted to watch TV with him.
He smiled down at her; then they headed upstairs together, her hand still in his. He’d made the right decision. He knew it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
RYAN ORDERED pizza—three of them—and they were all sitting at the table eating, laughing, goofing off.
He hadn’t been so happy in… ever.
Rosie was sitting in Alex’s lap. Her Lex. Everything seemed back to normal with them, and it was adorable to watch them together.
Alex grinned at him, winked, then took a huge bite. His lover looked like he was having a blast.
Rosie opened her little mouth as wide as possible and shoved her pizza in.
He arched an eyebrow, but let it go. They were having fun, and what did it hurt?
Alex laughed as she tried to eat it, winding up smacking, her mouth was so full.
“Are you going through a growth spurt, Rosie? You’re eating enough for three little girls your size.”
“I like pizzas!”
“Me too!” Daffy and Daisy said together.
“Can I go out tonight, Daddy?” Mel liked that best. Going.
“With?”
Her cheeks heated, telling him exactly who she was going out with.
“Is this with your boyfriend?” Alex asked. “Have you met him already, Ryan? I’d like to meet him.”
“I have, yes. He seems like a nice guy. I only threatened to beat him once.”
“Daddy!”
“Well, can he come pick you up here so I get to say hello?” Alex asked before grabbing another slice.
“He has to pick her up here anyway.”
Mel rolled her eyes but nodded too. “Yes, Daddy.”
Alex made a noise; Ryan thought maybe it was a disguised laugh.
“Where are you off to?” What will you be doing? Are you going to have sex? Are you using a condom?
“We’re talking about going to the early movies and then milkshakes after.”
“Sounds fun,” Ryan admitted.
“It does. Maybe we should all go to the movies with you,” Alex suggested. “We wouldn’t sit with you, of course. For the milkshake too.” Alex glanced over at Ryan, eyes twinkling.
“Daddy! Daddy, tell him no. Don’t you guys dare.”
“Are you embarrassed by your family?” Alex asked, sounding shocked.
“My weirdo family? No. Why would I be embarrassed?”
Alex laughed. “Then we should definitely come along.”
Ryan winked at her. “Yes, you can go. He can meet Alex, huh? And save tomorrow for family stuff? Maybe we can go do something, all of us.”
“Oh, that would be nice,” Alex offered. “I heard the mall has a petting zoo this weekend.”
Alex had to have been looking for things they could do, given he hadn’t been around to “hear” anything.
“Oh?” Daisy lit up like a lightbulb. “Popsy? Popsy, please?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“I thought the mall would be a good destination for everyone. Even teenage girls like the mall, right?” Alex grinned at Mel, who just rolled her eyes.
“I’ll text Kyle.”
“What time is he picking you up?”
“The movie starts at seven, so six thirty?”
“And you’ll be home at ten?”
“Can I have to ten thirty? The ice cream shop gets busy after the movie.”
She was so damn grown-up. And he appreciated her asking rather than just showing up late and trying to excuse it.
“That’s reasonable.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” She kissed his cheek. “We’re going to see something scary. I’m trying to talk him into something else.”
“Oh, Melly!” Daisy’s eyes were huge. “Nightmares.”
Alex put down his pizza. “Don’t let him run roughshod over you, honey. If you don’t want to see a scary movie—you tell him. Stand up for yourself. You’re a beautiful, smart girl, and you don’t have to do what a boy wants just to keep his attention.”
She rolled her eyes at Alex. “Duh. There’s a bunch of us going. He’ll get messed with if he skips. You know how it is.”
Alex shook his head. “I really don’t. I never was much of a dater in high school.”
“No?” Mel’s eyes twinkled. “Daddy was a player.”
“I will beat you, child.” Ryan shook his head and laughed.
Alex nearly choked on his bite of pizza, laughing at Mel.
“Do as I say, not as I do, eh?” Alex managed when he’d stopped choking.
“Shut up. Learn from me.” He never said learn from his mistakes because Mel was the best thing he’d ever made. Ever.
“Ah.” Alex nodded sagely, then frowned as his phone rang. He picked it up, his frown deepening. Pushing back from the table a little, he answered. “Sally. Hello.”
Oh man. “Okay, guys. Let’s… can you go pick out a game for us to play?”
He started gathering the pizza into one box, carefully keeping his face still.
Daisy and Daffy gave him worried looks, and Mel looked like she was ready to kill Alex. Rosie just stayed in his lap, though, not looking upset at all.
“I’ve already told you I can’t go, Sally. I’m not going to change my mind a few hours later.” Alex sounded belligerent. “I know I’m not the only game in town. Call the UN if you need to, or the WHO.
I need some time here at home before I even think about going again.”
Rosie patted Alex’s hand. “He stays. Lex is tired and needs all the hugs right now.”
Alex kissed the top of her head. “I’m not going to change my mind. I’m sorry if it puts you in a bind, but I just can’t do it right now. I need to be home for a while. Like I said this morning, good luck.” Alex turned off his phone and sighed. “Man, she was giving me the hard sell.”
Ryan couldn’t stop staring. “I…. Are you okay?”
“No. I’m tired. And the last three weeks have been hell. I haven’t been back for a day even. And I already turned her down earlier this morning. It was really shi—mean—of her to call again and try to guilt me into going.”
Rosie turned on Alex’s lap and hugged him tight. “I makes you feel better, Lex.”
“Yeah, you do, sweetie.”
Daisy and Daffy stood up, and then Daffy came to him for a hug while Daisy ran off to the hall closet where the games lived.
“Sometimes a man has to take care of himself,” Ryan said.
Alex nodded at his words. “And sometimes he also needs to let the people he cares about know they’re important too. I wouldn’t keep seeing me if I left the day after I’d come home.”
“I think I’m more than seeing you, Alex. We’re buying furniture together.” Still, Alex was right. It would be hard to do this constantly. Hard on the girls, hard on his soul.
“Yeah, I’d forgotten about that, actually. So are we doing that after playing a game, or are we rolling it into tomorrow’s events?” Alex gave Rosie a hug and kissed the top of her head again. “Of course, I’m going to be home for a while this time, so we don’t have to do everything in the next two days.”
“Let’s go Monday when everyone’s at school, huh?”
“Oh, like a date.” Alex waggled his eyebrows. “I like it.”
“No fair! We want to date too, Popsy.”
Ryan lifted Daffy and kissed her nose. “We’re going on a date tomorrow!”
“Oh. Yes.”
Alex laughed as the girls ran around singsonging, “Going on a date! Going on a date!”