Threads of the Heart

by Jeannie Levig

  Maggie tensed. Is that why Addison had been on the second floor? Why would she have lied about that? “Oh,” she said with a casual air. “That explains where she is, doesn’t it?”

  Monica smiled. “Just give her a hug for us.”

  “I will.” Maggie enclosed both women in a loose embrace. “Jen, it was so nice meetin’ you.”

  As the couple made their way out, Maggie’s gaze drifted to the top of the stairs. Had Addison been with someone when Maggie saw her? A client? She remembered Victoria Fontaine. Maggie had greeted her earlier after changing into her costume and returning to the party, but she hadn’t seen her with Addison. In fact, Addison had spent most of the evening in the kitchen, keeping the serving trays filled. She had been a sweetheart. On the other hand, her lack of interest in interacting with their friends all evening fit with the general manner of reclusiveness she had been displaying for a while now. Victoria Fontaine? Could she be the reason—the one Maggie had suspected for several weeks? She was so young, though, practically a child. How could Addison…? An image of Victoria in her vampiress costume flashed in Maggie’s mind. No, she was no child—and Maggie had invited her into their home.

  She stiffened and heated with anger—but anger at whom? Victoria? Addison? Herself? She looked up the staircase. If they were up there, what were they doing? Surely, Addison wouldn’t violate the home they had created together. Her jaw tight and her fists clenched, she started up the steps. Halfway to the second floor, she halted. Did she want to see it? Did she want to know? Right now, it was still a suspicion—a strong one, perhaps, but a suspicion all the same. Addison could still be her faithful partner. Schrodinger’s cat came to mind. Until she opened the box, the cat could be alive. But this box was already open, she had to admit, this cat already dead. Addison had been lying to her for several weeks, and as much as she had tried not to know, deep in her heart, she did.

  Slowly, calmly, she ascended to the second floor. Outside Dusty’s room, she paused, listened. She took hold of the doorknob and turned it. She had seen Dusty downstairs moments earlier, so she knew she wouldn’t be interrupting one of her trysts. Besides, to her knowledge, Dusty didn’t conduct that faction of her personal life at home. But then, Maggie scoffed to herself, what did she know? The room was empty.

  Maggie looked down the hall toward Eve’s and Tess’s rooms. Both doors stood ajar. The bathroom door was closed. As she took a step toward them, she heard a soft thud from overhead. She looked up in surprise.

  Our room?

  She went numb. Did she know Addison at all, anymore? Seemingly of their own volition, her feet carried her to face the truth.

  Maggie stood silently in the doorway of their bedroom and watched. The scene seemed surreal—a sexy blonde kneeling before her enthralled lover. Maggie would have thought it beautiful if the enthralled lover were not her own, her life partner, the woman she had loved for so long. Addison stood still, her head thrown back and eyes closed, her shirt unbuttoned and Victoria’s hands pleasuring her breasts. Her fingers twisted in Victoria’s hair as she gripped her head and thrust her hips in an obviously desperate rhythm.

  Maggie cleared her throat.

  Addison’s eyes flew open and she blanched.

  Victoria looked over her shoulder and sat back on her heels. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. The antithesis of Addison’s, her expression was cool, maybe even smug.

  Maggie stared at the tableau. She had wanted to know, needed to know, and so…now, she did. Here it was, what she had always feared—Addison with another woman. Now what?

  Well, she didn’t have to be afraid any longer. The fear twisted, wriggled, morphed into anger. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that she was older or that Addison hadn’t gotten to play the field when she was younger. What mattered was that they had built a life together, one that Addison had wanted. What mattered was that when she had started feeling differently, she hadn’t trusted Maggie enough to talk to her. What mattered was that she had brought her lover into Maggie’s bedroom and violated that intimate space. A wave of rage threatened to engulf her.

  She wanted to scream, maybe throw something, to set loose the fury within her—but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t give this other woman the satisfaction. She would hold on. She steadied herself. “I don’t really know the fittin’ thing to say, but I would like to speak with my partner in private.” Her tone was icy. Her gaze never left Addison.

  Without a word, Victoria rose and moved toward the door.

  Maggie pointed to the torn panties on the floor.

  Victoria bent to retrieve them. “I—”

  “Please leave my home,” Maggie said, her anger seething just below her surface. She was mildly curious as to what Victoria could possibly have to say, but she was more interested in speaking with Addison.

  Victoria left, almost sauntering.

  Maggie found it more pathetic than irritating. When they were alone, she watched Addison for a long moment.

  She had looked away when Victoria had risen, and now she just stared at the floor in front of her. She rearranged her clothing and buttoned her pants and shirt.

  Maggie crossed the carpeted floor and sat on the end of the bed. She sighed. “Are you in love with her?” She knew the answer to this question would determine the rest of the conversation.

  “No,” Addison said without hesitation. “I don’t think so.”

  Maggie nodded. “But you aren’t sure?”

  Addison raised her hands, looking helpless. She shoved her fingers into her hair and leaned forward. “I don’t know anything right now, Maggie. I’m so screwed up.”

  “I can see that, dawtie.” Maggie’s heart ached. She had wanted to hear No, I don’t love her. It was just a fling, and it’s over. I love you. Wasn’t that what happened in the movies? “But you are goin’ to have to figure out what you want.”

  Addison straightened and met Maggie’s gaze, her eyes filled with tears. “I know. I can’t imagine my life without you, though.”

  Maggie felt a wry smile shape her lips. “I can’t imagine mine without you, either, but sometimes we make different choices in spite of our feelin’s.”

  With a pained expression, Addison knelt in front of her. “I don’t know what to do. You’ve always been my rudder, my North Star. I couldn’t talk to you about this, and that’s why I got so messed up. I love you, but I know I can’t promise to never be with Victoria again. I’m crazy with her. I think one thing, but do the opposite.”

  Maggie’s stomach churned. “I can’t help you with this, luv. I’m not willin’ to. Find a therapist, a friend, a bartender. Just don’t expect this of me.” Her throat closed. “I’m hangin’ on by a thread here.”

  Addison laid her head in Maggie’s lap. “I’m so—”

  “Don’t,” Maggie snapped. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry when you’ve just said you can’t promise not to be with someone else. If you can’t promise that, you need to leave until you can. And after doin’ it in our house. In our room…”

  Addison gripped Maggie’s knees. She began to sob.

  Resentment reared up in Maggie at the desire she felt to comfort Addison. She had never been able to see her in pain without wanting to console her. She fought the urge, then relented. She combed her fingers through Addison’s hair. “Actually, luv, I will make this easier for you. I can’t be with you while you’re doin’ this. I’ve been down this road before, and it isn’t for me. I’m a one-woman woman, and I want the same. So, you go do whatever it is you need to do.” She choked on the words. “And you decide what it is you want. If that’s me, we’ll see where we are. If it isn’t…” Her voice almost broke, but she managed to keep it firm. “I’ll always cherish the life we’ve shared.”

  After a bit, Addison’s sobs softened and she lifted her head. She gazed at Maggie as though studying her features to remember them.

  Maggie steeled herself. She didn’t want to break down in front of Addison—she wouldn’t. Her heart had already
taken a huge hit, and she felt like a fool for ignoring the signs and her intuition. If nothing else, she would make sure her dignity remained unscathed.

  After another moment, Addison rose.

  Maggie watched in silence as she pulled some things from the armoire and closet and shoved them into her duffle bag, then disappeared into the bathroom to retrieve some toiletries.

  When she emerged, she stared at Maggie until Maggie finally averted her gaze.

  She heard the bedroom door close behind Addison, listened to her footsteps as she crossed the tiled landing to the stairs, and waited long enough to imagine her walking out the front door. She fell onto the bed and clutched a pillow to the ache in her chest, a hurt so deep it felt like her heart might actually stop beating altogether. Her stomach roiled as anger, devastation, and betrayal spread through her like poison. Her eyes burned with tears. She surrendered to the pain, and a sob tore from her throat.

  *

  As Tess walked JoAnn up the hill to her car, she listened to a joke someone at the party had shared. She really did enjoy JoAnn’s company, her sense of humor, her intelligence. In fact, if Dusty hadn’t been so present this evening, she would have been content to spend the whole time with only JoAnn.

  “And her partner whispered back, ‘Honey, I think you need to change the batteries in your hearing aids.’” JoAnn delivered the punch line.

  Tess burst out laughing. “Oh, that is so bad, I wish I didn’t find it funny,” she said, holding her hand to her mouth.

  “I know.” JoAnn chuckled. “I’ll keep your secret if you keep mine.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  They stopped beside the car, and JoAnn gazed into Tess’s eyes. “I really enjoyed tonight.”

  “So did I.”

  “No, I mean it. I enjoyed seeing where you live and meeting your friends.” JoAnn took Tess’s hands in hers. “Thank you for inviting me as your date. I was the luckiest woman there.”

  Tess felt the heat rise into her cheeks and hoped the street was too dark for JoAnn to see the blush. “You’re welcome. Thank you for coming.”

  “Oh, Tess.” JoAnn sighed, her eyes closed. “You have to know I’d go anywhere with you.” She slipped her fingers into Tess’s hair and grazed her lips with her own. She paused and met Tess’s gaze, then covered her mouth more firmly. Tess parted her lips, accepted the kiss, accepted JoAnn’s tongue. She moved her own against it. The kiss was long and tender. She felt a slow arousal stir within her, but JoAnn’s more ardent passion was evident in her soft moan.

  Finally, JoAnn eased away, her breath slightly ragged. “I know,” she said. “Slowly. I haven’t forgotten.”

  Tess smiled and placed another light kiss on JoAnn’s lips. “Thank you for that. And for a lovely evening.”

  As JoAnn pulled away from the curb and headed down the hill, Tess hugged herself in the night breeze. She knew she was being unfair, that the main reason she wanted to take it slowly was that she still wanted to hold on to what she shared with Dusty. If she was going to start something real with someone else, she had to let go of any fantasies she had, as well as the sex. No matter how good it was.

  She sighed and began the walk back to the house. It could be over right now. In fact, it should be. All she had to do was not sleep with Dusty again. How difficult was that? It was entirely in her control. She had been on two dates with JoAnn. She shouldn’t be sleeping with someone else. Other women still sleep with other people if they aren’t exclusive, though, right? She would only be fooling herself, and she knew it. She would never fully give herself and JoAnn a chance as long as she still held on to her feelings for Dusty. Could it be over with Dusty, right now? That would make their last time together the night she had heard Dusty’s motorcycle and met her on the stairs. That was a nice night. She had fallen asleep in her embrace. But she wanted to know that the last time was the last time while it was happening. She wanted to savor every moment of it. As she ascended the cement steps to the front door, she decided. There would be one more time—maybe tonight.

  As she moved through the house, she noticed that very few people remained. Eve and Sammi were snuggled together on the sofa in the front room while another couple talked quietly in a corner. A few guests still mingled in the living room, and Tess saw the woman who owned the catering company stacking trays and other supplies to carry out to her car. She smiled and waved. Neither Addison nor Maggie were anywhere to be seen, which was unusual. Maybe they were upstairs. She stepped through the open sliding glass door and into the backyard and found Dusty with a large trash bag picking up bottles, plastic glasses, and paper plates.

  Tess watched her.

  With her costume no longer concealing her torso, a tight orange T-shirt hugged her lean frame and the soft curves of her breasts. Black jeans covered her narrow hips and the thighs Tess knew to be so firm. She felt the familiar burn of her attraction begin to simmer. She realized she would need to create some distance between herself and Dusty if she were to have any chance of getting over her feelings for her because it wasn’t just the physical draw that kept her so fixated. It was Dusty’s gentleness, her kindness, her generosity. It was the fact that she was out here cleaning up while everyone else was doing whatever they wanted to do, the fact that she would take Eve to a child’s birthday party to show her the truth about her fears, the fact that she had kept Tess’s secret for so long, when everyone expected nothing but bragging from her. Tess’s feelings crested within her, and as she watched Dusty, she knew she had fallen in love. Maybe one last time wasn’t such a great idea after all.

  Dusty turned and caught Tess looking at her. They stood staring at one another for a moment before Dusty grinned. “Really?”

  Tess blushed. “Really, what?” she asked, but she knew Dusty had seen her desire. Dusty knew her in that way better than anyone ever had, and maybe ever would.

  Dusty laughed and glanced at the open kitchen window. “You want to help me clean up?” she asked, her tone low. “There’s a lot of trash over here.” She edged toward the dark corner of the house.

  Tess hesitated. Was Dusty actually suggesting…? They had always had sex only in Tess’s bed when everyone else was asleep or not at home—where it was safe. If this was going to be the last time, however, maybe she should be more adventurous, make it truly something to remember. She did want to end up in bed, though, to fall asleep one last time in Dusty’s arms. Tess offered a playful smile and walked toward her. “Well, if you really need my help…”

  With every step Tess took, Dusty’s eyes grew hungrier. She licked her lips. “Oh, yeah. I definitely need your help,” she whispered. When Tess finally reached her, Dusty coaxed her around into the darkness of the side yard.

  Tess entwined her arms around Dusty’s neck and allowed herself to be taken in a deep, sensuous kiss. Her body ignited in instant response. She recalled her slow, placid reaction to JoAnn’s kiss and quickly pushed the memory from her mind. Passion would grow in time. With Dusty, she already knew what was coming, what to expect from her fingers, her mouth, her knowledge of Tess’s body. The mere thought made Tess ache. She crushed herself to Dusty as she felt the hard wall against her back. She raised one leg, feeling it slip through the high slit of her skirt, the cool night air caressing her skin. She wrapped it around Dusty’s hips and pulled her in more tightly.

  Dusty moaned and tore her mouth from Tess’s. She lowered her lips to Tess’s neck and began an excruciating trail of nips and kisses down to her shoulder, slow and teasing. She slipped one hand down to where their mounds met and slid it beneath Tess’s skirt. Her fingers brushed Tess’s center through her silk panties.

  Tess gasped. “I don’t want to come here,” she murmured into Dusty’s ear. “I want you in my bed.”

  “Mmm. Yes.” Dusty groaned against Tess’s neck. “Anything. Anything you want.” She stroked Tess’s sex through the soft panel that covered it, then pushed the fabric aside. Her fingers moved through Tess’s wet, hot folds to caress her ha
rd clit.

  Tess bit back a cry, but she knew Dusty wouldn’t take her over the edge.

  “Tess,” Dusty murmured against her skin. “Oh, God, Tess.” Her voice sounded as though it broke. “I have to tell you something.”

  “Ooooh.” Tess arched into Dusty’s caress. “Tell me.”

  Dusty ducked her head and pulled Tess even closer. “I’m in l—”

  “Excuse me. I’m really sorry to interrupt.”

  Eve’s voice barely reached Tess’s awareness. Her arousal, Dusty’s touch, the anticipation of her words…they were all too much.

  Dusty groaned. Her hand slowing, she lifted her head. Her eyes met Tess’s. “What is it?” she said to Eve. She even managed to sound polite.

  “It’s Maggie.”

  Dusty lowered Tess’s leg and looked at Eve. “What about Maggie?” she asked with evident urgency.

  Now fully present, Tess also took in Eve, who stood with her arms wrapped around herself, her shoulders drawn up tight.

  “I don’t know. Something’s wrong. I think she needs you guys.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Dusty jumped at the knock on her door and shoved the book she was reading under the rumpled covers of her bed. A gentle rain kissed the windowpane beside her, a soothing sound that had allowed her to sink into the story, but after Addison’s move to a hotel, following Maggie’s discovery of her and Victoria the previous weekend, Dusty had a hard time believing that Rayann and Louisa, the characters of the romance novel, had much of a chance at love anyway. “Come in,” she called.

  “Can you open the door?” Eve’s voice carried from the other side.

  Irritated, Dusty swung her bare feet to the floor. She’d felt grumpy all week. She was so mad at Addison. She’d warned her repeatedly, and still she’d gone and been stupid. She opened the door and peered into the hallway.

  Eve stood in jeans and a lavender sweatshirt, her long, chestnut hair damp as though she’d been outside. She held two large mugs of steaming brown liquid. “I made us some cocoa,” she said with a hesitant smile.