by Leigh Bale
Laying her notebooks and pens inside a cardboard box, she checked her desk drawers one last time. She almost laughed when she found the rubber snake again. Someone had put it back in her drawer. Picking it up with two fingers, she threw it away, not wanting to leave it there to scare Caroline half to death when she returned at the end of August. Becca wanted to ensure she had all her things packed and ready to go. She was leaving early tomorrow morning, traveling by bus to Ohio. Anything she left behind would be lost to her.
Including Jesse and Sam.
Giving the expansive room one last look, she turned and froze. Jesse stood in the open doorway, wearing his black frock coat and vest, a white chambray shirt and his best pair of broadfall pants. He held his black felt hat in his hands, his clean hair combed and tidy.
“Hello,” she said, startled by his presence. And all at once, a bubble of euphoria engulfed her, along with a feeling of bittersweet heartache. What was he doing here? She didn’t think she’d ever see him again.
“Hallo,” he returned, showing that slightly crooked smile of his. He moved further into the room, seeming tentative. As if he was a bit unsure of himself.
“You’re dressed so nice today. Are you going somewhere special?” she asked, taking one step toward him.
“Ja.” His answer sounded positive but not very committal.
She tilted her head in confusion. “Where are you going?”
His smile widened slightly, causing his dark eyes to sparkle. Oh, how she loved it when he smiled or laughed. It lit up her whole world.
“To see you,” he said.
“Ach, did you need some more books for Sam? I’m afraid you’ll have to go to the library and check them out yourself. You see, I’m leaving first thing in the morning and won’t be able to do it any longer. I’m afraid that I...”
“Don’t go.”
He spoke low. So softly that she almost didn’t catch his words. But she did hear. At least, she thought she did. Two little words that hung in the air between them, leaving her speechless.
“What...what did you say?” she finally asked, thinking her own wishes were causing her to hear things that weren’t real.
He came to stand just before her. She stared up at him without blinking, feeling transfixed by his gaze.
“I said, don’t go. Please stay,” he reiterated.
Okay, so she wasn’t hearing things. But what good would staying a few more days do them? It would only make the pain last longer.
She turned away, picking up a feather duster. To give herself something to do, she fluttered it across her already clean desktop. The movement gave her a badly needed distraction.
He gripped her upper arm gently, causing her to go very still. Slowly, he turned her to face him and she was forced to meet his eyes.
“I can’t stay any longer, Jesse. I’m going home. I’ve got to find work. There’s so much to be done. I’ve got to send out more applications and...” She rambled on, trying to convince herself that it was the right thing to do.
“I love you.”
No, no! It couldn’t be true. She couldn’t believe him.
“Don’t say things that aren’t true,” she snapped.
“But it is true. I mean it, Becca. I love you, so very much.”
He tried to take her hand but she pulled away, refusing to listen. Vernon had said he loved her too and it had been a lie. Now, Jesse was doing the same thing. Telling her what she wanted to hear before he broke her heart again.
She kept on chattering away, feeling nervous with him standing so close. “It’s been wonderful working here. I’ve loved teaching Sam and the other children but I have to go now.”
“Becca! Listen to me. I love you! And I mean it. Please, don’t turn away from me.” His voice sounded a bit anxious, as if he were afraid.
She whirled on him, her feelings a riot of unease. Oh, how she longed to believe him. But what if he were lying to her?
“You don’t mean it. Not really,” she said.
“I do mean it. Every word. I’m not some silly boy, Becca. I know my own mind. I love you. Would you mind not returning to Ohio at all?” he asked.
She swallowed, thinking she’d misunderstood him again, yet knowing her hearing was fine. “I... I’m afraid that isn’t possible now. I heard you and Sam yesterday, out back by the horse barn. I know you two have reconciled and Sam is speaking again. That’s so wonderful. But my work is done here. I have to go.”
He showed a slight frown, his gaze never leaving hers. “Hmm. You heard my conversation with Sam? All of it?”
She nodded, feeling her face heating up. She didn’t like to confess that she had eavesdropped on them. “I’m so happy for you both. I know Sam loves and misses his mudder very much. So do you.”
And she was happy for them. So very happy that they’d reconciled. That they could be a loving father and son once more. But she didn’t believe that love included her.
“You didn’t listen to our entire conversation, did you?” he asked, watching her quietly.
“Ne, I thought it was too personal. Once I realized you had everything in control, I returned to the schoolhouse.” She wasn’t about to tell him that she’d cried too. That even without him telling her he loved her, her heart was breaking once more.
“Then you didn’t hear Sam tell me that he loves you too. Nor did you hear me explain to him that it’s time for us to move on with our lives and be happy again. Or that Sam wishes you could be his mudder now and I want you to be my wife,” he said.
She stared, too stunned to speak for several pounding moments.
“You...you told Sam that?”
He nodded. “I certainly did.”
“And Sam told you he loves me?”
Another nod. “He did.”
It was too much. Oh, how she wanted to believe him. But that would require her to take a leap of faith. To trust him.
“But Sam ran away when he saw you kissing me at the box social. And then again during the school program.” She felt shocked to the tips of her toes.
“Ja, he was still feeling guilty for the house fire. He didn’t think he had a right to love you and be happy again. I told him that’s not right. The fire wasn’t his fault at all. I told him I love you too. I want us to be a familye.” Jesse made the admission slowly, thoughtfully, as if he really meant it.
“I... I don’t understand. Why would you say all those things?” She couldn’t believe it. This was a joke. He was teasing her. Wasn’t he?
“Because it’s true. I love you, Becca. Please don’t go. Don’t break my heart. I want you to stay.”
Don’t break his heart? All this time, she’d been fearing he might hurt her, not the other way around. His plea made her want to love and keep him safe. To protect and cherish him the way she longed to be loved and treasured.
“But...but you love your wife. You don’t love me. Not the way you loved your wife,” she cried.
“My love for Alice was filled with a deep concern for her welfare, appreciation, respect and passion. That’s exactly how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve fought my feelings for a long time but I can’t fight them anymore. I love you, Becca. And if you’ll have me, I’d like you to be my wife. I know it’s what Alice would want for me too.”
She gave a shuddering laugh of incredulity. This was happening so fast and she was having difficulty wrapping her mind around what he was saying. “Are you sure Sam feels this way too?”
“Ja, he loves you for being there for him. For helping us during a critical time in our lives. For never giving up on us.”
She jerked when Jesse lifted his head and called to his son.
“Sam! Would you come in here, please?”
As if in a dream, Becca watched as Sam appeared in the doorway, holding his little straw hat in his h
ands. Like his father, he was wearing his Sunday best, his cheeks gleaming pink from a good scrubbing. It touched her deeply that the two of them had bathed and dressed in their finest clothes just to pay her a visit and...
They were proposing marriage to her! It finally sank in to her muddled brain. They were really here, standing in front of her, asking her to marry them. Jesse wasn’t lying to her. He was speaking the truth.
“Teacher Becca, danke for everything you’ve done for me and Daed.” The boy spoke in a soft voice but it carried clear across the room. Not a whisper. No, not at all.
Hearing Sam talk out loud like this was almost more than Becca could take in. She went to him and knelt down.
“Oh, Sam! You’re speaking again. It’s so wundervoll.” Before she could think to stop herself, she pulled him into her arms for a tight hug. Her emotions almost overwhelmed her and she realized tears ran down her cheeks.
Finally, she released the boy and he stepped back, smiling wide. She stood and faced Jesse, her thoughts zipping around in her head like fireflies.
“I can’t believe all of this is true,” she said.
“Believe it, Becca. It’s all true.” Jesse took Sam’s hand and the two gazed at her with such adoration, so much expectation and love, that Becca felt like she was living a dream.
“Last night, Sam and I talked it over in depth,” Jesse said. “I realized that, if I didn’t tell you how we felt, you wouldn’t know and might leave us forever. Until you came into our lives, I didn’t realize how much Gott loves and cares for me and Sam. You’ve helped me realize that, no matter how difficult life’s trials might be, the Lord is always there for us. I know that because He brought us you.”
Jesse reached inside his hat and withdrew a white envelope, which he handed to her. It had her name scrawled across the front and she recognized the bishop’s handwriting. Becca took it with trembling fingers but didn’t open it.
“In case you’re wondering, it’s a very glowing letter of recommendation from the school board. Last night, after you left the school, I explained to the bishop and other board members how much you’ve done for Sam and me. Bishop Yoder has heard reports from other parents as well and was in agreement that you are one of the most loving, caring teachers he has ever met. You always go the extra mile. Nothing is too difficult for you. Not when it comes to your scholars.”
She blinked. “You did that for me? The board really wrote me a gut letter?”
He dipped his head in acknowledgement. “Ja, but I’m hoping you won’t use it. I’m hoping you’ll be willing to make another career change to be a wife and mudder instead. I know how much you love teaching and I want your happiness more than anything else. But I’d rather you remain here in Colorado with Sam and me. I want you to be my wife and Sam’s new mudder.”
“Ja, Becca. Please stay with us,” Sam said, his voice loud and clear, as if it was gaining strength with every word he spoke.
“Oh, Jesse! Sam!” Tears of joy coursed freely down her cheeks. And just like that, the pain of Vernon’s betrayal melted away into nothingness. Her heart was full of happiness, not pain. She knew deep inside that she could trust Jesse. That he truly loved and wanted her.
“I love you both so much,” she said. “I never dared hope you could love me too. I thought... I thought I was unlovable and I didn’t want to leave you but I didn’t know what else to do.”
Jesse stepped close and enfolded her in his arms. She clung to him, resting the palms of her hands against his solid chest. She fed off his strength, letting it fill her with such joy she could hardly hold it all. She didn’t shy away when he kissed her deeply. In the background, she heard Sam’s happy laughter.
Finally Jesse lifted his head and looked deep into her eyes. “You really love me too? Because I don’t want to be hurt again either.”
She heard the uncertainty in his voice and knew he’d feared her answer too. After all, it couldn’t be easy to propose marriage when you don’t know how the bride might feel about you.
As she gazed lovingly into his eyes, she reached up and cupped the side of his bearded face with her hand. “Ja, I love you, Jesse. So very much. You and Sam. I can hardly believe it’s possible that he’s overcome his silence almost overnight.”
She glanced at the boy and saw his smiling face, his gleaming eyes. He looked so happy standing there, watching his father embrace her. He seemed so confident now. The complete opposite of the scared little boy she’d met all those months earlier when she’d first come here to teach school.
“Anything is possible with the Lord’s help. You have healed our broken hearts. We have been so blessed,” Jesse said.
“You are right. When we put our trust in Gott, anything is possible,” Becca said, believing what she said. The Lord had truly worked wonders in their lives.
Jesse reached down and picked up Sam. Together, they shared a three-way hug, overjoyed by the day. They had each learned to put their faith in Gott’s redeeming love and in each other. Becca felt an overwhelming trust in Jesse. She knew he truly loved her. That he was counting on her to love him in return. And together, she knew they would have a bright and happy future.
“You’ll marry us, won’t you, Becca?” Sam asked, resting his little hand on her shoulder. From the safety of his father’s arms, he gazed down at her with expectation.
She wrapped her own arms around them both, squeezing tightly, determined to never let go. “Of course, I’ll marry you. Just try and stop me.”
“That’s gut, because I’ve already spoken to the bishop about it and asked permission from your cousin Jakob and Dawdi Zeke too,” Jesse said.
Her mouth dropped open in shock. “You have? When did you do all that?”
“I spoke to the bishop last night but I went over to your place early this morning, after you had left the house.”
“Really? You’re very sneaky. I had no idea.”
He nodded. “I asked them all to keep it secret until I could speak with you,” he said.
Becca laughed, filled with more happiness than she ever thought possible. “I’m so glad you did. Now we have something wonderful to look forward to.”
“Ja, we do. Years and years of happiness.”
She couldn’t agree more. This was her heart’s desire. To remain here in Colorado with Jesse, as his wife. To become Sam’s mother and hopefully have more children as time went on. And as they walked out of the schoolhouse and locked the front door, Becca realized she wanted nothing more.
* * *
Don’t miss these other books in Leigh Bale’s
Colorado Amish Courtships miniseries:
Runaway Amish Bride
His Amish Choice
Her Amish Christmas Choice
Keep reading for an excerpt from Finding the Road Home by Tina Radcliffe.
Dear Reader,
Have you ever suffered a tragedy so great that you didn’t think you could ever recover? In this story, the hero and his young son go through a loss so severe that the little boy can’t even speak anymore. Their hearts are broken and they’ve lost their hope for a bright and joyous future. It takes time for them to learn how they can be happy again.
When we seek our Savior with a pure and contrite heart, the Atonement can wash away our angst and pains. It can cleanse our sins of commission as well as omission. It can heal our despair and mend our broken hearts. Through Jesus Christ’s infinite mercy, the Atonement can comfort the lonely, heal the infirmities of our bodies and answer our cries in the darkest of night. As we seek Him with humility and contrition, the amazing gift of the Atonement can offer us a reprieve to salve all our weaknesses. And all we have to do is repent and seek Him.
I hope you enjoy reading this story and I invite you to visit my website at www.LeighBale.com to learn more about my books.
May you find peace in the Lord’s words!
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Finding the Road Home
by Tina Radcliffe
Chapter One
Police chief Mitchell Rainbolt shook his head as he slid into the front seat of his departmental SUV and tried to remember why he was still in Rebel, Oklahoma, running a department with less staff than the Arrowhead Diner across the street.
With a glance at the clock, he confirmed the time. Ten o’clock on a Friday morning and he was off to check out a report of trespassers because his next in command was MIA.
Again.
Ever since Roscoe McFarland announced he was retiring in a year, he’d caught a serious case of don’t know, don’t care.
Mitch put the key in the ignition. The only thing saving his sanity was that his new hire, one Daisy Anderson, would start on Monday.
The Kendall property was five miles outside of town. Empty for years, the two-story home had fallen into disrepair. A shame, because when Mitch was just a kid and doing his best to keep track of his younger siblings, the Kendalls had provided a haven he could count on during the long months while his widowed father disappeared on the rodeo circuit.
He made the turnoff to the property and stared at a do-it-yourself moving truck in the gravel drive and a minivan parked closer to the house. He couldn’t help but notice the flower bumper sticker on the mom-mobile. A bright yellow daisy.
Not trespassers. Someone was moving in. Mitch slowly drove around both vehicles, assessing the situation.
The yard showed evidence of a recent mow, and the branches of the ancient redbuds that lined the drive had been pruned. Even the hedges around the pale gray clapboard home had been trimmed back. The place showed a glimmer of its old self though it needed a good paint job.