III
The incident had been so rapid that the door closed on the departingpair before the other members had time to understand what washappening. Then a sense of the indignity put upon them by Osric Dane'sunceremonious desertion began to contend with the confused feeling thatthey had been cheated out of their due without exactly knowing how orwhy.
There was a silence, during which Mrs. Ballinger, with a perfunctoryhand, rearranged the skilfully grouped literature at which herdistinguished guest had not so much as glanced; then Miss Van Vluycktartly pronounced: "Well, I can't say that I consider Osric Dane'sdeparture a great loss."
This confession crystallised the resentment of the other members, andMrs. Leveret exclaimed: "I do believe she came on purpose to be nasty!"
It was Mrs. Plinth's private opinion that Osric Dane's attitude towardthe Lunch Club might have been very different had it welcomed her in themajestic setting of the Plinth drawing-rooms; but not liking to reflecton the inadequacy of Mrs. Ballinger's establishment she sought aroundabout satisfaction in depreciating her lack of foresight.
"I said from the first that we ought to have had a subject ready. It'swhat always happens when you're unprepared. Now if we'd only got upXingu--"
The slowness of Mrs. Plinth's mental processes was always allowed forby the club; but this instance of it was too much for Mrs. Ballinger'sequanimity.
"Xingu!" she scoffed. "Why, it was the fact of our knowing so much moreabout it than she did--unprepared though we were--that made Osric Daneso furious. I should have thought that was plain enough to everybody!"
This retort impressed even Mrs. Plinth, and Laura Glyde, moved by animpulse of generosity, said: "Yes, we really ought to be gratefulto Mrs. Roby for introducing the topic. It may have made Osric Danefurious, but at least it made her civil."
"I am glad we were able to show her," added Miss Van Vluyck, "that abroad and up-to-date culture is not confined to the great intellectualcentres."
This increased the satisfaction of the other members, and they beganto forget their wrath against Osric Dane in the pleasure of havingcontributed to her discomfiture.
Miss Van Vluyck thoughtfully rubbed her spectacles. "What surprised memost," she continued, "was that Fanny Roby should be so up on Xingu."
This remark threw a slight chill on the company, but Mrs. Ballingersaid with an air of indulgent irony: "Mrs. Roby always has the knack ofmaking a little go a long way; still, we certainly owe her a debt forhappening to remember that she'd heard of Xingu." And this was felt bythe other members to be a graceful way of cancelling once for all theclub's obligation to Mrs. Roby.
Even Mrs. Leveret took courage to speed a timid shaft of irony. "I fancyOsric Dane hardly expected to take a lesson in Xingu at Hillbridge!"
Mrs. Ballinger smiled. "When she asked me what we represented--do youremember?--I wish I'd simply said we represented Xingu!"
All the ladies laughed appreciatively at this sally, except Mrs. Plinth,who said, after a moment's deliberation: "I'm not sure it would havebeen wise to do so."
Mrs. Ballinger, who was already beginning to feel as if she hadlaunched at Osric Dane the retort which had just occurred to her, turnedironically on Mrs. Plinth. "May I ask why?" she enquired.
Mrs. Plinth looked grave. "Surely," she said, "I understood from Mrs.Roby herself that the subject was one it was as well not to go into toodeeply?"
Miss Van Vluyck rejoined with precision: "I think that applied only toan investigation of the origin of the--of the--"; and suddenly she foundthat her usually accurate memory had failed her. "It's a part of thesubject I never studied myself/," she concluded.
"Nor I," said Mrs. Ballinger.
Laura Glyde bent toward them with widened eyes. "And yet itseems--doesn't it?--the part that is fullest of an esotericfascination?"
"I don't know on what you base that," said Miss Van Vluyckargumentatively.
"Well, didn't you notice how intensely interested Osric Dane became assoon as she heard what the brilliant foreigner--he _was_ a foreigner,wasn't he?--had told Mrs. Roby about the origin--the origin of therite--or whatever you call it?"
Mrs. Plinth looked disapproving, and Mrs. Ballinger visibly wavered.Then she said: "It may not be desirable to touch on the--on that partof the subject in general conversation; but, from the importance itevidently has to a woman of Osric Dane's distinction, I feel as ifwe ought not to be afraid to discuss it among ourselves--withoutgloves--though with closed doors, if necessary."
"I'm quite of your opinion," Miss Van Vluyck came briskly to hersupport; "on condition, that is, that all grossness of language isavoided."
"Oh, I'm sure we shall understand without that," Mrs. Leveret tittered;and Laura Glyde added significantly: "I fancy we can read between thelines," while Mrs. Ballinger rose to assure herself that the doorswere really closed.
Mrs. Plinth had not yet given her adhesion. "I hardly see," shebegan, "what benefit is to be derived from investigating such peculiarcustoms--"
But Mrs. Ballinger's patience had reached the extreme limit of tension."This at least," she returned; "that we shall not be placed again in thehumiliating position of finding ourselves less up on our own subjectsthan Fanny Roby!"
Even to Mrs. Plinth this argument was conclusive. She peered furtivelyabout the room and lowered her commanding tones to ask: "Have you got acopy?"
"A--a copy?" stammered Mrs. Ballinger. She was aware that the othermembers were looking at her expectantly, and that this answer wasinadequate, so she supported it by asking another question. "A copy ofwhat?"
Her companions bent their expectant gaze on Mrs. Plinth, who, in turn,appeared less sure of herself than usual. "Why, of--of--the book," sheexplained.
"What book?" snapped Miss Van Vluyck, almost as sharply as Osric Dane.
Mrs. Ballinger looked at Laura Glyde, whose eyes were interrogativelyfixed on Mrs. Leveret. The fact of being deferred to was so new tothe latter that it filled her with an insane temerity. "Why, Xingu, ofcourse!" she exclaimed.
A profound silence followed this challenge to the resources of Mrs.Ballinger's library, and the latter, after glancing nervously toward theBooks of the Day, returned with dignity: "It's not a thing one cares toleave about."
"I should think not!" exclaimed Mrs. Plinth.
"It _is_ a book, then?" said Miss Van Vluyck.
This again threw the company into disarray, and Mrs. Ballinger, with animpatient sigh, rejoined: "Why--there _is_ a book--naturally...."
"Then why did Miss Glyde call it a religion?"
Laura Glyde started up. "A religion? I never--"
"Yes, you did," Miss Van Vluyck insisted; "you spoke of rites; and Mrs.Plinth said it was a custom."
Miss Glyde was evidently making a desperate effort to recall herstatement; but accuracy of detail was not her strongest point. At lengthshe began in a deep murmur: "Surely they used to do something of thekind at the Eleusinian mysteries--"
"Oh--" said Miss Van Vluyck, on the verge of disapproval; and Mrs.Plinth protested: "I understood there was to be no indelicacy!"
Mrs. Ballinger could not control her irritation. "Really, it is toobad that we should not be able to talk the matter over quietly amongourselves. Personally, I think that if one goes into Xingu at all--"
"Oh, so do I!" cried Miss Glyde.
"And I don't see how one can avoid doing so, if one wishes to keep upwith the Thought of the Day--"
Mrs. Leveret uttered an exclamation of relief. "There--that's it!" sheinterposed.
"What's it?" the President took her up.
"Why--it's a--a Thought: I mean a philosophy."
This seemed to bring a certain relief to Mrs. Ballinger and Laura Glyde,but Miss Van Vluyck said: "Excuse me if I tell you that you're allmistaken. Xingu happens to be a language."
"A language!" the Lunch Club cried.
"Certainly. Don't you remember Fanny Roby's saying that there wereseveral branches, and that some were hard to trace? What could thatapply to but dialects
?"
Mrs. Ballinger could no longer restrain a contemptuous laugh. "Really,if the Lunch Club has reached such a pass that it has to go to FannyRoby for instruction on a subject like Xingu, it had almost better ceaseto exist!"
"It's really her fault for not being clearer," Laura Glyde put in.
"Oh, clearness and Fanny Roby!" Mrs. Ballinger shrugged. "I daresay weshall find she was mistaken on almost every point."
"Why not look it up?" said Mrs. Plinth.
As a rule this recurrent suggestion of Mrs. Plinth's was ignored in theheat of discussion, and only resorted to afterward in the privacy ofeach member's home. But on the present occasion the desire to ascribetheir own confusion of thought to the vague and contradictory nature ofMrs. Roby's statements caused the members of the Lunch Club to utter acollective demand for a book of reference.
At this point the production of her treasured volume gave Mrs. Leveret,for a moment, the unusual experience of occupying the centre front; butshe was not able to hold it long, for Appropriate Allusions contained nomention of Xingu.
"Oh, that's not the kind of thing we want!" exclaimed Miss Van Vluyck.She cast a disparaging glance over Mrs. Ballinger's assortment ofliterature, and added impatiently: "Haven't you any useful books?"
"Of course I have," replied Mrs. Ballinger indignantly; "I keep them inmy husband's dressing-room."
From this region, after some difficulty and delay, the parlour-maidproduced the W-Z volume of an Encyclopaedia and, in deference to thefact that the demand for it had come from Miss Van Vluyck, laid theponderous tome before her.
There was a moment of painful suspense while Miss Van Vluyck rubbed herspectacles, adjusted them, and turned to Z; and a murmur of surprisewhen she said: "It isn't here."
"I suppose," said Mrs. Plinth, "it's not fit to be put in a book ofreference."
"Oh, nonsense!" exclaimed Mrs. Ballinger. "Try X."
Miss Van Vluyck turned back through the volume, peering short-sightedlyup and down the pages, till she came to a stop and remained motionless,like a dog on a point.
"Well, have you found it?" Mrs. Ballinger enquired after a considerabledelay.
"Yes. I've found it," said Miss Van Vluyck in a queer voice.
Mrs. Plinth hastily interposed: "I beg you won't read it aloud ifthere's anything offensive."
Miss Van Vluyck, without answering, continued her silent scrutiny.
"Well, what _is_ it?" exclaimed Laura Glyde excitedly.
"_Do_ tell us!" urged Mrs. Leveret, feeling that she would havesomething awful to tell her sister.
Miss Van Vluyck pushed the volume aside and turned slowly toward theexpectant group.
"It's a river."
"A _river?_"
"Yes: in Brazil. Isn't that where she's been living?"
"Who? Fanny Roby? Oh, but you must be mistaken. You've been reading thewrong thing," Mrs. Ballinger exclaimed, leaning over her to seize thevolume.
"It's the only Xingu in the Encyclopaedia; and she _has_ been living inBrazil," Miss Van Vluyck persisted.
"Yes: her brother has a consulship there," Mrs. Leveret interposed.
"But it's too ridiculous! I--we--why we _all_ remember studying Xingulast year--or the year before last," Mrs. Ballinger stammered.
"I thought I did when _you_ said so," Laura Glyde avowed.
"I said so?" cried Mrs. Ballinger.
"Yes. You said it had crowded everything else out of your mind."
"Well _you_ said it had changed your whole life!"
"For that matter. Miss Van Vluyck said she had never grudged the timeshe'd given it."
Mrs. Plinth interposed: "I made it clear that I knew nothing whatever ofthe original."
Mrs. Ballinger broke off the dispute with a groan. "Oh, what does itall matter if she's been making fools of us? I believe Miss Van Vluyck'sright--she was talking of the river all the while!"
"How could she? It's too preposterous," Miss Glyde exclaimed.
"Listen." Miss Van Vluyck had repossessed herself of the Encyclopaedia,and restored her spectacles to a nose reddened by excitement. "'TheXingu, one of the principal rivers of Brazil, rises on the plateau ofMato Grosso, and flows in a northerly direction for a length of no lessthan one thousand one hundred and eighteen miles, entering the Amazonnear the mouth of the latter river. The upper course of the Xingu isauriferous and fed by numerous branches. Its source was first discoveredin 1884 by the German explorer von den Steinen, after a difficult anddangerous expedition through a region inhabited by tribes still in theStone Age of culture.'"
The ladies received this communication in a state of stupefied silencefrom which Mrs. Leveret was the first to rally. "She certainly _did_speak of its having branches."
The word seemed to snap the last thread of their incredulity. "And ofits great length," gasped Mrs. Ballinger.
"She said it was awfully deep, and you couldn't skip--you just had towade through," Miss Glyde added.
The idea worked its way more slowly through Mrs. Plinth's compactresistances. "How could there be anything improper about a river?" sheenquired.
"Improper?"
"Why, what she said about the source--that it was corrupt?"
"Not corrupt, but hard to get at," Laura Glyde corrected. "Someone who'd been there had told her so. I daresay it was the explorerhimself--doesn't it say the expedition was dangerous?"
"'Difficult and dangerous,'" read Miss Van Vluyck.
Mrs. Ballinger pressed her hands to her throbbing temples. "There'snothing she said that wouldn't apply to a river--to this river!" Sheswung about excitedly to the other members. "Why, do you remember hertelling us that she hadn't read 'The Supreme Instant' because she'dtaken it on a boating party while she was staying with her brother,and some one had 'shied' it overboard--'shied' of course was her ownexpression."
The ladies breathlessly signified that the expression had not escapedthem.
"Well--and then didn't she tell Osric Dane that one of her books wassimply saturated with Xingu? Of course it was, if one of Mrs. Roby'srowdy friends had thrown it into the river!"
This surprising reconstruction of the scene in which they had justparticipated left the members of the Lunch Club inarticulate. At length,Mrs. Plinth, after visibly labouring with the problem, said in a heavytone: "Osric Dane was taken in too."
Mrs. Leveret took courage at this. "Perhaps that's what Mrs. Roby didit for. She said Osric Dane was a brute, and she may have wanted to giveher a lesson."
Miss Van Vluyck frowned. "It was hardly worth while to do it at ourexpense."
"At least," said Miss Glyde with a touch of bitterness, "she succeededin interesting her, which was more than we did."
"What chance had we?" rejoined Mrs. Ballinger.
"Mrs. Roby monopolised her from the first. And _that_, I've no doubt,was her purpose--to give Osric Dane a false impression of her ownstanding in the club. She would hesitate at nothing to attractattention: we all know how she took in poor Professor Foreland."
"She actually makes him give bridge-teas every Thursday," Mrs. Leveretpiped up.
Laura Glyde struck her hands together. "Why, this is Thursday, and it's_there_ she's gone, of course; and taken Osric with her!"
"And they're shrieking over us at this moment," said Mrs. Ballingerbetween her teeth.
This possibility seemed too preposterous to be admitted. "She wouldhardly dare," said Miss Van Vluyck, "confess the imposture to OsricDane."
"I'm not so sure: I thought I saw her make a sign as she left. If shehadn't made a sign, why should Osric Dane have rushed out after her?"
"Well, you know, we'd all been telling her how wonderful Xingu was, andshe said she wanted to find out more about it," Mrs. Leveret said, witha tardy impulse of justice to the absent.
This reminder, far from mitigating the wrath of the other members, gaveit a stronger impetus.
"Yes--and that's exactly what they're both laughing over now," saidLaura Glyde ironically.
Mrs. Plinth stood up and ga
thered her expensive furs about hermonumental form. "I have no wish to criticise," she said; "but unlessthe Lunch Club can protect its members against the recurrence ofsuch--such unbecoming scenes, I for one--"
"Oh, so do I!" agreed Miss Glyde, rising also.
Miss Van Vluyck closed the Encyclopaedia and proceeded to button herselfinto her jacket "My time is really too valuable--" she began.
"I fancy we are all of one mind," said Mrs. Ballinger, lookingsearchingly at Mrs. Leveret, who looked at the others.
"I always deprecate anything like a scandal--" Mrs. Plinth continued.
"She has been the cause of one to-day!" exclaimed Miss Glyde.
Mrs. Leveret moaned: "I don't see how she _could!_" and Miss Van Vluycksaid, picking up her note-book: "Some women stop at nothing."
"--but if," Mrs. Plinth took up her argument impressively, "anythingof
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