Her gaze drifted to the stained-glass window again. Redemption. Salvation. Grace. Offering forgiveness to others came easily to Anna. Forgiveness extended to her parents when they stood by a foster child, not her. Forgiveness extended to Patrick too many times to count. Yet why couldn’t she pardon herself?
She considered Josef, a man who’d blamed himself for a lost life in the car accident. She’d seen him start to move on and wanted to be strong, like him. Maybe it wasn’t about forgetting her past, but accepting what she’d gone through.
Salvation. God’s grace. The words taunted her. Wouldn’t a caring God grant such a thing to a woman who so easily extended the same to others?
The compassion she reserved for others seeped into her heart. All she desired was a small dose of self-forgiveness, an elixir to cure the shame of being so weak in her marriage. She closed her eyes, bowed her head. You tried to help the man you loved. That was why you stayed. There’s nothing wrong with that. So let it go. Let. It. Go. The pain. The shame. Everything you ever did for love, do now for yourself.
A force washed over her. She mentally pushed away ghosts that haunted her dreams. I have changed, she repeated over and over until they evaporated. And it took a moment, but a gentle ripple of pride expanded in her chest. Pride that cleansed her spirit of self-imposed blame, and eroded an ache inhabiting her for too long.
She quietly released the breath, opened her eyes. From now on, she had permission to put the past where it belonged.
* * * *
Strobe lights pulsed above the dance floor and the crowd bopped to a dance medley spanning the decades from Elton John to Black Eyed Peas, who had a feeling it was going to be a good night. So did Anna.
Two dances ago, she’d kicked off her heels and continued in her stocking feet. Josef managed to keep up, a slower, more careful version, but for a guy with a leg injury, he’d performed some decent moves.
Both the lights and music slowed. Norah Jones’s silky-smooth tone crooned about coming away with her. Josef placed his hand on the small of her back and moved her slowly along the dance floor.
His breath fell next to her ear. “Tired yet?”
“Don’t worry. I can keep up. How’s your leg?”
“Starting to hurt. I will sit soon.” He brushed his lips to hers and tucked her close.
She rested her head on his shoulder, her mind lost in thoughts about the fun day. Good food, dancing, and many raised glasses while the crowd yelled Prost. Josef and Helga had put together a slideshow about Gabriel, from diapers to now and Kirsten’s sisters had done the same for her. Throughout the reception, people stood and spoke warm words about the wedded couple. There were even games and a skit performed by Kirsten’s cousin. The whole celebration was thoughtful, an intensely personal way to celebrate the joining of two people.
Josef hummed to the music. The song’s lyrics played to every wish she had right now. To stay in this other world, where she remained safe, sound, and pretty darn content.
Joachim glided by with Regina and slowed down. “Oh, hello, you two. Josef, this has been a fun wedding. Gabriel looks like a happy man. I know your father would have loved his bride.”
Josef patted Joachim’s shoulder. “Thank you. I think he would, too.”
Regina touched Anna’s arm. “I forgot to tell you. After Josef picked you up to go to the church, someone called the guesthouse for you.”
“Did they leave a name?”
“I asked, but he didn’t say and hung up rather quickly. Sounded American.”
He? Her limbs suddenly felt shaky and her gut like a rock had settled in it. “Did the call come from overseas?”
“You know, I am not sure. We get calls both internationally and within the country, I hardly take notice.” She shrugged. “I suppose he will try again.”
Joachim led Regina away, but Anna stopped dancing. Josef watched her, the worry in his eyes equaling the terror seizing her body.
He took her hand. “Come on.” As he neared their table and grabbed his cane, he said, “Let’s get a drink.”
She slipped on her shoes and took her purse from her chair.
They walked toward the bar. She should’ve asked Regina if the hotel phone had caller ID. Even if she said yes, Anna would have to wait and check later. If she went now, Josef would insist on coming with her. She didn’t want to take him away from this special family affair.
Josef ordered two glasses of wine and handed her one. “There is a quiet spot nearby where we can sit.”
As they walked, he glanced at her. “You are worried it is your husband?”
“Who else would call?”
“You mentioned Dr. Walker might put you in touch with an expert to trace your family history.”
“Then why wouldn’t he have said so?”
Josef shrugged, frowned. They entered a lounge with leather seating, a stone fireplace, and large windows looking outside to a dimly lit patio with tables. He motioned to one of the sofas.
She sat and sipped her wine, but her mind whirled with worry. It was Saturday afternoon in New York. Patrick could be anywhere, but he could always be reached. Maybe she should call.
“Anna, even if he found out the guesthouse address, flying over here seems like a dramatic move. This could be another attempt to frighten you.”
“Yeah, well, he’s doing a good job.”
Josef’s jaw tightened.
“See. Even you look worried.”
“Only because I am concerned about you. Do you really think he would fly here to find you?”
“Yes and no. I sense his desperation. But just how far he’ll go is anybody’s guess.”
He lowered his glass to the coffee table, taking hers and doing the same. As he gathered her hands, he let out a sigh. “I cannot bear the thought of you returning home and having to face him alone.”
“I won’t be alone. After our last conversation, I only plan to see him with the lawyers present.”
“Yes, but…” Josef shook his head. “I do not worry any less.”
“His behavior has me worried, too. I’d hoped he would calm down after the initial shock of the divorce hit. If anything, he seems angrier. I’ll get a restraining order, if need be.”
“I wish I could be at your side to kick his ass if he tries anything.”
She smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I have to learn to face him on my own. It’s the only way I can move forward. Know what I mean?”
“Yes. I know. I do not have to like it though.” He stood, wincing as he reached for his cane. “I’m going to the men’s room. Be right back.”
She watched him walk away. Regina’s message pounded away at her thoughts. She took her phone from the purse and turned it on to roam, but the service in here was terrible.
She went to the large windows near the patio. When that didn’t work, she headed for a door leading out to the unoccupied patio, propped it open with her hip, and waited. One service bar. She stepped out. A few feet away from the building, she got a full signal.
Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she dialed Patrick’s cell number. The furious thud of her heart echoed in her ears as she paced. One ring. She’d flat out ask if he called. Two rings. Come on! Answer!
On the third ring, strong arms wrapped her, swiftly lifted her off the ground, sent her flying. Pain shot through her back as she hit the concrete building. Stunned, breathless, head spinning, she tried to focus. Her knees gave way and she headed for the ground, but two hands grabbed her shoulders and slammed her to the wall.
A spotlight on the building’s corner cast a slice of light her way. She blinked. Patrick stared back; bulging eyes glared, a vehement blast that made her shrink inside herself.
His strong hands dug into her flesh. “Did you get my message?” he asked through gritted teeth.
His coal-black eyes flared
as if a demon had crawled inside his skin and taken over. She struggled to free herself, but he pressed harder.
Terror wound so tightly around her heart she could barely breathe. “How did you find out where I—”
He pulled her forward then slammed her hard against the wall again, knocking the wind from her lungs. “Shut up! You’re going to pay for what you did. Why would you embarrass me at work?”
Anna quivered. Pain pulsed in her head, torso, and shoulders.
“Answer me,” he screamed.
She struggled for air and finally drew in breath. “I told you. My lawyer advised me to do it.”
Patrick let go. He lifted his hand. She braced herself. The stinging slap to her cheek made the back of her head slam into the wall. Tears welled in her eyes as old instincts kicked in. Play it quiet as a possum faking dead. Soon he’ll be done.
As she stilled, the force of throwing those dishes last night rushed back to her. The power in her muscles and the sound of the shattering glass. Quiet and submissive was the old Anna. The new woman possessing her body could move mountains…or at least try.
He again pinned her by the shoulders, leaving her arms dangling at her side. In one swift movement, she drew in a deep breath, clenched her fists, and slammed them hard as she could against his chest and pushed.
He stumbled back several steps and his dark brows rose. When he steadied himself, he tilted his head and studied her like a bull just before the charge. “Oh, you like to fight back now? Is that what you and your new boyfriend do?”
“Go to hell!” she screamed while stepping away from him. Raising her voice at him gave her a surge of confidence. “You’re sick, Patrick. I told you on the phone. I don’t love you anymore.”
His eyes narrowed, like a snake about to ambush his prey. He stepped toward her before she could move and grabbed her hair. “You’ve turned into a real—”
Josef slammed into Patrick’s side, knocking him down and forcing him to release her hair. The two men landed on the ground and Josef’s cane skidded along the patio. Josef hovered over Patrick, punching him multiple times in the face.
Patrick moaned, but Josef kept at him. “Hurts, doesn’t it?” he growled.
As Josef raised his fist, Patrick let out a primal yell, slammed his knee into Josef’s groin, and gave him a shove. Josef curled in a ball, doubled over, nursing his pain as Patrick scrambled to his feet.
Blood dripped from Patrick’s nose as he stepped backward but kept his fists positioned to strike.
Josef moaned, but slowly rolled onto his knees and staggered to his feet. As he took steps toward Patrick, Anna saw fear in Patrick’s eyes.
“If you want to fight, asshole, then fight me. Or are you afraid to face a man?”
Patrick stopped. “I’m not afraid of you.”
Anna watched, horrified and defenseless as he charged Josef. The two men swung at each other, sometimes catching a good punch, other times blocked. Josef limped, but held his own.
“Stop!” Anna screamed. “Leave us alone, Patrick.”
He glanced her way, smirked. “Oh, don’t you worry. You’re next.”
Before he could look away, Josef charged with his shoulder forward. The impact sent Patrick down, but he scrambled back to his feet almost immediately. His dark eyes glowed with rage as he lunged at Josef, pushing him to the ground close to the stairs. Josef howled in pain and grabbed his bad leg.
Patrick stepped toward Josef, watching him with a sickening gleam of satisfaction as Josef clutched his leg and moaned.
You’re next.
Patrick’s words rang in her ears. She had a split second. Taking a step forward, she swiped Josef’s cane off the ground. She wound it like a baseball bat over her shoulder then swung with all her might, landing a blow on Patrick’s chest.
“Arrrgh!” His hands flew up as he wobbled. He lowered his hands, glanced sideways at her, the muscles of his throat and jaw throbbing with anger.
She swung again, this time aiming for the back of his knees. Patrick’s hand flew behind his body and he grabbed the cane and jerked it from her hands. “Damn you, Anna!”
Anna’s gaze caught movement on the ground. Josef’s outstretched arm reached for Patrick’s ankle.
As Patrick surged toward her, Josef grabbed his ankle. Patrick glanced down. That’s when Anna charged forward, not caring what part of him she hit. All she wanted was for him to stop.
Her shoulder slammed into Patrick’s solid frame, sending a shockwave through her body.
He stumbled backward, then teetered at the top of the staircase.
Anna reached out, but too late. Gravity pulled him down. Patrick wailed with the first thud, his agonizing cry filling the night air. A bang sounded each time his body hit a step. Down, down, down, down, until he plopped like a limp rag doll at the bottom.
Chapter 25
People wandered everywhere. Police. Paramedics. Wedding guests. Voices speaking gibberish that echoed incoherently inside Anna’s head. She tried to lift her arms to cover her ears, but her trembling body prevented her from moving. Instead she squeezed her eyes tight, shut out the flashing lights of emergency vehicles, and drew the warm blanket someone had handed her tightly around her shoulders.
“Anna.”
She opened her eyes and lifted her chin as Regina came over and rubbed Anna’s back. “You poor thing. Can I get you something?”
Anna’s teeth chattered as she moved her lips to speak, but she managed to mumble, “No th-thanks.”
Josef appeared at Regina’s side. She hugged him, and they spoke in hushed tones.
After she left, Josef crouched down near Anna and looked up into her face. “The medics say he is badly hurt but alive.”
Relief flooded Anna’s body. If she’d pushed a man to his death, she wasn’t sure how she’d live with herself. Even a man as mean as Patrick. His cry of anguish before he lost consciousness pounded inside her skull, only silenced by the thud each time he hit a step.
I did that. I hurt someone.
Her heart tightened. Remorse sprouted like a weed in the center of her chest. The stairs. She’d seen them, but self-defense had become her own preservation. She’d just wanted him to stop hurting them. Not send him hurtling down a flight of stairs. A tear trickled down her cheek, followed by another and another, yet nothing washed away the guilt of having almost killed a man.
Josef sat on the bench and held her. She cried into his chest and he let her without saying a word. In his arms, she was warm and safe. Soon her teeth stopped chattering and tears dried up.
She lifted her head. “What happens now?”
“They will take him to a hospital. He will be under police watch. I told them everything I saw and what happened after I came out. They want to talk to you.”
“Am I in trouble?”
He stroked her face. That’s when she saw the bruise on his temple, the blood on his collar. Pain he’d taken for her safety.
“Of course not. The police know he was trying to harm you. Both of us.” His jaw tightened. “I have never wanted to physically hurt a man before, but when I saw him strike you…” He looked down, shut his eyes. “I wish I could have helped you more.”
She slipped her hands from beneath the blanket and cupped his face. His eyes opened. “If you hadn’t come out, I’d probably be going to the hospital right now. Or the morgue.”
His eyes glistened. “I don’t want to think about that outcome.”
“I’m sorry my problems followed me here. This ruined your brother’s wedding.”
“You have no reason to be sorry. They are not upset, only concerned.”
A police officer came over, intimidating in his dark slacks, crisp shirt, and a windbreaker that read Polizei. He glanced between them while speaking in German. Josef replied, then motioned to Anna, saying in English, “This is Anna A
brams. She is an American who is…” He paused and his brows furrowed. “Who is married to the man who attacked her.”
The officer nodded and began asking her questions in passable English. She told him everything, from the abuse at home, to the divorce papers she’d served him three weeks ago after entering Germany.
Several times when she mentioned some of the harsher details, Josef winced. Yes, it was uncomfortable to hear. But this moment made clear how the silence of being battered was what had given her abuser power.
Josef remained at her side listening, his hand in hers. She held on tightly, the touch of his hand the only thing that allowed her to keep going.
* * * *
Josef was thankful for two things. That he’d come out when he had, and that the son-of-a-bitch was under police watch.
He listened as Anna talked to the officer, who took copious notes. Her hair was disheveled and her cheek bright red from where she’d been hit.
His gut wrenched as images bombarded him. A man screaming at Anna, pressing her against the wall. He’d lifted his hand, struck her face. Josef flinched, the blow one he could still feel. Rage had sent him flying out the door. Even now, fury pulsed like hot acid through his veins. Stories she’d shared about her abuse paled next to seeing it live. He blew out a breath, wishing for the negative energy to subside. Anna needed his support, not more anger.
She continued to speak in a soft voice, seeming unaware of his angst. Each word she said expanded the sadness in his chest. Her pain was his. But a new pain had evolved, this one unexpected.
This is Anna Abrams. She is an American who is married to the man who attacked her.
His words to the officer had been a harsh reminder that Anna was, by law, still married. A fact he’d always known, but he’d given himself permission to care deeply about her because she’d said her heart belonged to no one.
The officer closed his pad. “Thank you, Mrs. Kelly.”
Josef flinched. Of course her ID showed her married name even though she’d been very clear she be called Anna Abrams with all she met.
Saving Anna Page 22