"What happened to Hank?" Martha asked.
"They never found Hank's body," Nick said with a haunted look in his eyes.
"Oh, Nick," Martha said. "How terrible."
"The worst part is that I'd noticed a problem with the red light on the mast a couple days before, but I forgot about it. If I'd replaced the light myself, Hank wouldn't have been climbing that mast when the storm hit."
"You can't go on blaming yourself," Martha said gently.
"Oh, I don't know," Nick said, glancing down at the floor and shaking his head. "I'm pretty good at it."
"Is that why you've been so devoted to Davey?"
He raised his eyes to hers. "After the accident, when the first shock passed, I realized that I had to take care of Davey for Hank's sake. So a couple of months later I went to the cabin where Dolores lived with her grandmother, Elsa Long. There I found a toothless old woman who was overcome with grief and who could barely care for herself, much less her one-year-old grandson."
"And that's when you took Davey?"
Nick nodded. "I'd first met the Longs after the Coast Guard notified me about the Puffin's accident. I was the owner of record, along with Hank, and so I was the person they called first. I met Billy Long, Dolores's brother, at her funeral. After I discovered the conditions under which Davey and Elsa were living after Dolores's death, I persuaded Billy to come and take Elsa home with him.
"I knew he was financially strapped, so I sent him the money for his grandmother's support. I've visited Elsa frequently in the past few years because she's been in and out of the hospital many times. That's where I was those two times when I told you it was none of your business. This last time, I went to bury Elsa. She's gone, Martha. There won't be any more sudden departures."
"Do you know what I thought? Can you imagine the ideas that ran through my head? I heard rumors, Nick, all sorts of rumors. Half the town of Ketchikan thinks that Davey is your illegitimate son."
Nick's lips hardened in a grim line. "I'm sorry, Martha," he said. "I really am sorry. But my vow of secrecy came first, even before protecting my own reputation."
"I was so upset both times when you went away," Martha murmured.
Nick caressed her face with his hand. His eyes, varnished with gold in the fading afternoon light, were earnest. "That was the worst thing," he said. "Not being able to tell you where I was going or what I was doing. I was mostly concerned with keeping the secret so no one would know. I should have trusted you."
"Now I know what might have affected Davey," Martha said. "He must have been traumatized, even as a baby, by what happened to him when the Puffin was wrecked."
"That's what I think, too. And Dr. Whitmer shares my opinion. I never could tell you before what I thought was wrong with Davey, but when you told me about the child your mother taught, that's when things began to slip into place. That's when I began to see how I could help Davey."
Martha's head reeled with the details of Nick's revelations. There was still something he hadn't explained. "What happened to Jillian?" Martha asked.
"As far as I know, Jillian never found out about Dolores or Davey. I managed to hush up the fact that Hank had been with Dolores on the Puffin. I was afraid of what it would do to Jillian to find out that Hank had another family."
"Perhaps Jillian would have wanted Hank's son," Martha said.
"No. She was a young widow who was struggling to manage three small children. She was barely coping. How could I lay another burden on her? That's why I kept Davey, and that's why I never told anyone whose child he was or where he came from."
"And what happened to Jillian?"
"Her parents flew here and took her back home shortly after the accident. She traveled back to Ketchikan a few times to settle Hank's estate, though. Every time she came back, she seemed to be getting along better and better. Last year she remarried and moved to Alabama. I hope she's happy."
"If Jillian can no longer be hurt by it, then perhaps it's time to tell people what really happened."
Nick shook his head. "I don't want to tarnish Hank's memory, Martha. A lot of people in Ketchikan remember him fondly. You're the only person I've ever told. You're the only person I ever will tell."
A lot of things made sense now. Nick's constant worry about weather conditions when they were on the Tabor was the result of his firsthand knowledge about tragedy that could strike as the result of an unexpected storm at sea. His sudden silences and aloofness had only been his way of turning off further questions about a topic that he didn't feel free to pursue. His loyalty to his friend Hank must have been very hard on him all these years in terms of his relationship with his family, his friends and the few women he'd dated.
There was something noble in such loyalty, Martha thought. And something caring and compassionate, too. She admired Nick for providing for a destitute old woman who was no relation to him and for taking on the care of a child who was no child of his.
"I'll never speak to anyone of this, Nick," she said slowly. Her silence was what Nick wanted, and it was probably best for all concerned.
"There's one more thing. I've set the wheels in motion to adopt Davey. Then he will legally be my son."
Martha smiled. "Oh, Nick. That's wonderful. Truly, truly wonderful."
Nick clasped her hands in his. "And there's something else," he said softly.
"What else could there be?"
"I know it's a lot to ask," he began.
"Go on."
"Davey and I are a family. We're a package deal."
"Yes."
"Alaska is a nice place to visit, but not many people would want to live here," he continued.
"Not everyone," she agreed.
"And Williwaw Lodge is very isolated."
"Which has its advantages," she murmured.
"Also, I've never done this before, and I don't know if I'm going to be any good at it."
"You're good at most things, Nick Novak, including kissing. Please kiss me now," she said, and he thought that the combination of laughing bright eyes and upcurved lips must be the most beautiful sight in the world.
He kissed her, and afterward she sighed and nestled her head on his chest.
"Now go on with what you were saying. Please."
"What I was saying in my roundabout way was, will you marry me, Martha Rose?" He waited.
"Since you like chocolate-chip cookies and you are still my business partner..." she began.
"Yes?"
"And since you're tall enough so that if I ever want to wear spike heels again I could, though I doubt that I will want to," she went on, laughter bubbling up from her throat.
"Mmm-hmm?" He nuzzled her ear for good measure.
"And since I think I could probably get used to eating moose liver for breakfast..."
"No waffles, though. I could stand eating a bagel in the morning, but I hate waffles."
"And because you're kind, compassionate, and awfully good with kids and also because you'll make a great father to the many children I intend to have," she said, dragging it out.
"Mmm," he agreed. Her luminous gray eyes were shining with love.
"And because you are such a good kisser, among other things..."
"Other things," he said, thinking about the other things.
"And since I've developed a taste for kisses in the rain and because I'm madly in love with you and want to live here with you forever and ever, till the glaciers melt and Southeast Alaska dries up into a desert..."
"Yes?"
"Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you, Nick Novak!" she said. Then she murmured, "I thought you'd never ask."
And he replied in relief, "Dear Cheechako, I thought you'd never answer." And he kissed her once again.
Epilogue
Williwaw Lodge, Labor Day Weekend
Lindsay stepped back to take in the stunning effect of the delicate baby's-breath blossoms she had pinned among Martha's curls.
"You need one more sprig on the left side," she
decided, working the spray of tiny flowers into the curls above Martha's ear. "There. How's that?"
Martha looked at herself critically in the mirror over the dresser in the guest room. "Could you move it up a little bit?"
Lindsay poked gingerly at the flowers. "Better?"
"Much better," Martha said, beaming at her reflection.
"I still don't understand why you didn't want to wear a wedding veil."
"Because Nick says he wants to see my face when I walk up to him before the ceremony."
Lindsay rolled her eyes. "He really is in love with you as much as you said he was. I'm so glad, Martha. And so relieved. If you knew the thoughts that were running through my head during the flight from San Francisco—"
"What did you expect?" Martha asked curiously.
"I expected that this whole wedding was another of your impulses. And I fervently hoped that Nick would show up for the ceremony and not be running off to points unknown."
"Lindsay, that's all over," Martha said patiently.
"When are you going to tell me where he was those times when he left?"
"Never. Here, hook up the back of this collar, will you?"
Lindsay moved behind her and expertly buttoned the tiny covered buttons on the back of Martha's wedding dress. The dress was of white crinkled muslin with delicate hand-crocheted lace insets and long sleeves. It fell to the floor, and it had no train. Lindsay had designed the dress to Martha's specifications, and a Ketchikan seamstress had whipped it up. Martha was delighted with it.
"Everybody's here," Faye said, peering through a crack in the door. She opened it and stuck her whole head in when she saw Martha. "Oh, Martha," she said softly. "You look beautiful."
Before Martha could reply, a ball of yellow fluff catapulted through the door, followed by Davey calling, "Come back here, you crazy dog! Come back here!"
The golden retriever puppy, which was only eight weeks old, took refuge in the swirls of Martha's long skirt. Davey dived after the puppy, and the two of them tumbled on the floor, squealing and giggling.
Martha bent over and detached the puppy and Davey from each other. She kept a hand on the puppy, which proceeded to lick her fingers while she straightened Davey's new suit and brushed away a layer of dog hair.
"How about putting Otter in his pen for the ceremony," she suggested to Davey.
"Otter wants to come to the wedding," Davey said.
"We agreed that he could come to the reception, remember? I've put a tray of dog biscuits out on the hearth just for him. But he'll have to stay in his pen for the ceremony."
"The cere—what?"
"The ceremony. When Nick and I marry each other."
"Oh."
"Everybody will have to be very quiet while we're speaking our vows," Martha said. "That's why Otter should be in his pen."
"Well, okay," Davey said reluctantly.
"Davey, I'll help you with Otter if you'll show me how," Faye said with a wink at Martha. Obediently Davey picked up the sprawling Otter and followed Faye out of the room.
"The dog's name is Otter?" Lindsay said with raised eyebrows.
"That's because we had an otter named Bear," Martha said with a laugh.
"Oh. I guess that explains everything," replied Lindsay wryly. She paused. "You certainly know how to handle Davey."
"I love Davey. He's sweet and precious and everything I could want in a son."
"Who would have thought you could be so maternal?"
"Not me," Martha said. She looked at her watch. "Are they starting to play music yet?"
Lindsay pulled aside the curtain and peered out at the slope in front of the cabin. The surface of Mooseleg Bay exploded in little stars where the raindrops hit. "The band had to take refuge on the porch. It's raining."
"I thought we'd be able to get the ceremony over before the rain started." Martha said, sighing.
"Maybe it'll stop," Lindsay said.
"I wonder where Nick is."
"I hear him. He's on the front porch with the band and the judge who is going to marry you. They're placing bets as to how long the rain will last."
Martha sat on the bed. "The rain may last awhile," she said. She knew this from experience.
Lindsay let the curtain fall across the window. Again she admired her friend's wedding attire. Martha looked so lovely. "Martha, with all this rain I don't see how you managed to get such a good suntan," Lindsay said.
"That's not a suntan. It's rust," Martha said.
Lindsay whooped with laughter.
"Is everything okay?" Faye asked, sticking her head in the door.
"Everything is perfect except for the rain," Martha said.
"We can always hold the ceremony inside if the rain doesn't stop soon."
"Nick and I want to say our vows with the mountains as sentinels, with the otters and eagles as witnesses, with—"
"Not only are you surprisingly maternal, you're also an incurable romantic," groaned Lindsay.
"They wrote the ceremony themselves," volunteered Faye before glancing over her shoulder. "Oh, there goes Davey running toward his bedroom with a handful of cookies. It'd be just like him to get chocolate all over his nice new suit." She closed the door and took off after the boy.
"I don't think I've ever been to a wedding quite like this before," mused Lindsay. "Chocolate-chip cookies instead of wedding cake—now there's an original idea."
"Nick and I wanted this ceremony and the reception to be our very own, a sharing of ourselves with our guests." Martha smiled at her friend reassuringly. "I hope you don't find it too hard to be the maid of honor in such an unconventional wedding."
"Hey, I'd fly to the ends of the earth to be your maid of honor," Lindsay said. She stared through the crack in the curtains at the mountain peaks on the other side of the rainswept bay. "In fact, I think I have gone to the ends of the earth. Are you going to be happy here, Martha?"
Martha smiled serenely and patted Lindsay's hand reassuringly. "Very," she replied.
The gold engagement ring on Martha's hand sparkled in the dim light. Nick had had it made to order for her; a local artist had styled a braid of gold around one of the gold nuggets Nick had panned from the stream here when he was a boy. For their wedding rings, the other nuggets had been melted down and fashioned into matching braided gold bands. The braids had three strands that symbolized the uniting of Nick, Martha, and Davey as a family.
Lindsay impulsively lifted Martha's hand to admire her engagement ring. "I can't believe it," Lindsay marveled. "You haven't been nibbling on your fingers. You're not even nervous about getting married!"
"I don't have anything to be nervous about," Martha said with great certainty and tranquility. Her hands rested quietly in her lap.
"It's stopped raining!" someone called. The musicians, who were friends of Randy's and members of a local string quartet, hurriedly took their positions on the grassy slope in front of Williwaw Lodge. Their guests formed a circle around the judge, who was Randy's uncle, and Nick, dressed formally, walked jauntily down the path clasping Davey's hand in his. Davey's fingers were disengaged from Nick's so that he could fidget impatiently beside Faye.
At the first strains of the music Martha had chosen for her processional, Lindsay quickly kissed Martha on the cheek, grabbed her bouquet of Alaskan wildflowers and, with one eye on the hovering rain clouds, proceeded with undue haste down the path.
"Are you sure you don't want anyone to give you away?" Martha's mother had asked anxiously the previous night when she'd arrived from Indiana, but Martha had told Georgine no, she was perfectly capable of getting her own self down the short path to the scenic spot where she and Nick had chosen to speak their marriage vows.
Martha stood watching her assembled guests from just inside the front door of the cabin. There were Wanda and her five grandchildren as well as Randy and his mother and stepfather and sisters. Also present were Hallie, Faye, Dr. Andy, Lindsay's Sigmund, Georgine, and Martha's sisters Roxie and Rebec
ca and their assorted husbands and children, Nick's brothers and their families and a few friends of Nick's. Martha and Nick had invited only the people with whom they wanted to share the beauty of their love and their vows, agreeing that there would be no pointless paying back of social invitations and no pretense. How could either of them be nervous when the only people present were well-wishing relatives and dear, dear friends?
All Martha felt now was eagerness to become Nick's wife.
When Lindsay reached the end of the path, Martha took the first step forward toward her new life. She proceeded down the neatly swept path gracefully and at a more leisurely pace than Lindsay. She wanted to savor the experience of being Nick's bride.
It's really happening, Martha thought as her eyes met Nick's. We're getting married. All the world for her in that moment was concentrated in his eyes, and she floated toward him, feeling as though her feet barely touched the ground.
The sun ventured out from behind the clouds, casting a golden beam of light down on the assembly. The water in the bay shone opalescent in the sun, and beyond the bay, white-tipped mountains rose majestically against the sky. The rain-purified air was lightly scented with spruce.
Nick's eyes were bright and spoke of his love for Martha as she placed her hand in his. Nick and Martha had written their marriage ceremony themselves because they knew that no one else had ever expressed the way they felt about each other. Having learned to communicate, they wanted to start their lives together by saying what was in their hearts and on their minds. And so they began.
"Because you bring me your sweetness and your laughter, and because you made me see the person I could be when I was with you," Nick said.
"Because you are the dream I never knew could be real," Martha said.
"Because the rest of my life is the most precious gift I have to give you," Nick said.
"Because I want to live in your house and mother your son," Martha said.
"Because of the whisper I see in your eyes..."
"Because of the beauty that lives in your soul..."
"Because between us are no secrets..."
"Because we have only love..."
"Because we are a family now..."
Kisses in the Rain Page 21