Right now, that was like the nectar of the gods.
She responded, teasing my tongue with her own, opening her mouth to me. Her arms came up around my neck and she was against me, the heat of her whole body searing into me—all her soft curves.
Abruptly, she wrenched herself away.
“Fuck,” she whispered. She was crying.
I felt confused. “Christa?”
“Fuck.”
“Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know.” She sounded angry. “I never know why I do that. Maybe it makes me feel powerful. Maybe throwing that stick at that guy made me feel powerful too. Maybe I just like thinking that I can… do something to other people. Maybe it’s got nothing to do with anything except that.”
I reached for her. “Look, why don’t you calm—”
She shoved my hands away. “Stop it. Don’t touch me.”
“Okay.” I massaged the bridge of my nose. I was getting more confused.
“Do you like it, Silas?”
“Like what?”
“Killing people.”
I hesitated. “No.”
“Really?”
“What about fucking people?” she said. “Do you like fucking girls? Fucking them over?”
“I don’t fuck girls over.”
“That’s not what everyone else says about you. They say you use ‘em and lose ‘em.”
“What does that have to do with killing people?”
“Simple, Silas. It’s power.” She leaned close to me. She smiled, and I remembered that smile. It was the same satisfied way she’d looked at me when her hand was on my dick. “Do you like feeling powerful?”
I looked away. “Maybe.”
She nodded. “Me too.” And then she burst into tears. “Me too,” she repeated, her voice thick.
I tried to touch her again.
But she slapped at my arms. “Don’t.” She retreated to the edge of the cave and curled up in a ball.
I went to her. I knelt down. “Christa—”
“Don’t,” she said. “Leave me alone, Silas.”
I could not figure her out for the life of me. I raised my hands in surrender. “Fine. That’s what you want? Fine.”
* * *
That night, I woke up because she was crying out in her sleep.
We were lying on opposite sides of the cave. She was wrapped up in the jacket we’d taken from the hunter. I got up and went to her.
I sat down next to her, and I gently took her shoulders and shook her awake. “Shh,” I murmured. “Shh, you’re dreaming.”
Her eyes snapped open.
“It’s okay,” I said. “You were only dreaming.”
She sat up. She looked around. Then she laughed. “Oh god. For a second I thought maybe none of this was real. I thought maybe I was in my bed on campus. Hell, I wouldn’t even have minded if my roommate had brought her stupid boyfriend over to sleep with her in the bottom bunk. I thought maybe I dreamed being chased by men who were trying to kill me.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“It’s all real,” she said. “This hell is my life right now.”
I sat back. “I really am sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I think it is.”
“No.” She reached out and touched my face. “You didn’t have a choice with Sylvia. And this is hell for you too.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
“Fuck my dream,” she said. She crawled over me so that her body hovered over mine. Her face was inches from my own. “You want me, don’t you? You wanted me before. Nothing’s changed, has it?”
I sighed in frustration. “Are you going to be like this again?”
Her hands ran over my chest. My stomach. “I want to feel wanted,” she whispered. “I want to feel something good right now. You want me, don’t you?”
The hell of it was that I did want her. I could feel how close she was, and my body was responding to her nearness.
Her hand went lower, sliding under the band of my jeans.
“Christa,” I choked.
She wrapped her hand around my dick.
I grunted.
“Let’s fuck,” she said.
“What?”
Her hand started to move on me, dragging up and down over my shaft. “Give me a second, and I’ll get you hard, and then—”
I grabbed her wrist, stopping her movement. I wasn’t entirely sure why I was stopping her. After all, what she was doing felt really good. “Wait.”
“Silas, please. It’ll be nice. I promise to make it nice for you.”
I yanked her hand out of my jeans. “Why are you doing this? I thought you hated me.”
“I don’t hate you,” she said.
“But you don’t like me either, do you?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “What do you care? Since when does it matter if you like the person that you’re fucking?”
“It matters,” I said.
“No, it doesn’t,” she said. “You said it yourself, you don’t believe in love.”
“That doesn’t mean that I’d fuck anything at all. I have to kind of like them.”
“Don’t you like me?” She kissed me.
Fuck. I did like her. She was crazy and a little bit slutty. She was very possibly the only person I knew who was weirder about sex than I was. But she was confident and sexy and sure of herself. “Are you doing this because you killed that guy? Is this some way for you to wipe all of that out of your mind?”
“Whatever,” she said again. Her hands were at my crotch again, this time unzipping my jeans.
“Stop,” I said. But I didn’t stop her. Despite everything, my cock was really hard now, and it pointed straight up at the ceiling the minute it was freed.
She stroked it again. “Mmm, that’s more like it. Nice and big and stiff.” Her voice was a sexy croon.
It went through me like a jolt. Suddenly, I wanted her very badly. I didn’t think there was anything on the face of the planet I wanted more. I gasped.
She let go of me to shimmy out of her pants.
Then she was straddling me. She ran her hands over my chest. “I want to ride you, Silas. I want to ride your big, hard cock.”
God, when had she started talking like a porn star?
And why did I have this feeling that I really shouldn’t let her do that?
But, fuck, I wanted her.
She had her hands on me again, guiding me against her wet slit.
I moaned.
Stop her, I thought. She killed a guy. She’s obviously freaked out about it. She’s not in a mental position to consent to this. She’s doing this for all the wrong reasons. A nice guy would never let her do something like this.
Her tight pussy descended over my cock. She was wet and hot and soft and slippery, and all thought in my head went to white noise for a minute.
Good, I thought. That was all I could think. This feels good.
She moved on me, dragging herself up and down against my cock.
Very fucking good, I thought.
“How’s that, Silas?” she murmured. “How’s that feel?”
I grabbed her by the hips. I stopped her from moving. My voice came out strained. “You know, I never even said that I wanted to do this.”
Her finger traced a line from my belly button up my chest. “You’re not enjoying yourself? You don’t like this?”
I let out a groan. “I don’t think you like this.”
“Of course I do,” she said, her voice breathy. “I love having your huge, thick cock rammed up into me. I love riding you. Fuck me, Silas. Fuck me hard.”
Okay, that was… shit. How was I supposed to be the responsible nice guy when she was talking like that?
I couldn’t.
After all, I wasn’t a nice guy.
I was a jerk.
And she could make her own decisions. She was a big girl. If she didn’t want to have sex with me, she could have n
ot put my dick into her pussy. So, you know, there was really no reason for me to not screw her senseless.
I thrust up into her, still holding her hips in place. I pushed deep into her sweet warmth.
She let out a little cry. “That’s right. You want this.”
I grasped her by the front of her shirt and tugged her down against me. I kissed her hard, pushing my tongue into her mouth.
She pulled back. “Say it, Silas. Tell me you want me.”
“I want you.” I shoved my hands into her shirt.
Christa was undulating on me. “Say it again.”
“I want you.” I reached around her and unclasped her bra.
“What are you doing?” she said.
I tugged her shirt off. Her bra too.
And then my hands were on her breasts. They fit perfectly into my hands, firm and soft at the same time. I rubbed her nipples with my thumbs.
They hardened at my touch.
She gasped.
I pushed her backwards, getting myself into a sitting position. Now she was straddling me, facing me in my lap. It was harder to move this way. But that was fine. If she kept riding me the way she had been, I’d blow my wad before I wanted to, anyway. I thought a little slow down was a nice interlude. Besides, I wanted my mouth on her.
“Silas, no,” she said. “This isn’t how I want it.”
No? That meant I was supposed to stop, right? Damn it. I kissed her nipple. “You want me to stop?”
“I…”
I closed my mouth around the nub of flesh. I started to suck.
She moaned. “No, don’t stop,” she said in a tiny voice.
Good. Relief coursed through me. I moved to her other nipple, covering the one I’d just finished sucking with my hand. I teased it, rolled it between my fingers. It was swollen and erect now. I started to thrust into her. They were shallow movements, but I was turned on, and my pace quickened.
She was panting, her head thrown back.
“Your tits are so amazing,” I whispered into her skin.
She whimpered.
I released that nipple and went back to the first one. I could do this for a really long time. I loved the feel of her in my mouth, the taste of her soft flesh. I loved the way she moved against me in pleasure. The sounds she made.
But she put her hands on my chest and pushed me backwards again. “Down, boy,” she said.
I lay on the floor of the cave. I couldn’t quite see her. She was just hints of motion in the blackness. But I could touch her. I put my hands on her hips. I slid them up her torso to find her tits again. “I thought you were enjoying that. I was enjoying that.”
She moved on me, her pussy gripping my cock.
I grunted in pleasure.
She moved my hands away from her breasts. “Just lie back, okay?”
Okay, so maybe she had some weird thing about her boobs. After all, hadn’t she stopped me the time before? I’d reached out sleepily to touch them and she’d moved me. I could back off of her tits, I guessed. And if she wanted to be on top, I could handle that too.
I trailed my hand over her thigh, between her legs, between the lips of her pussy.
“Silas,” she said, sounding shocked.
Gently, I searched until I found the tiny raised knob of her clit.
She sucked in breath. “What are you doing?”
“Touching you,” I said.
“Why?”
“To make you feel good.” I made slow circles around it.
She gasped. “You don’t have to…” She moaned.
“Does it feel good?” I whispered.
“Silas…”
I kept touching her, kept circling her.
“Yes,” she murmured. “It feels…” She moaned again.
I grinned in the darkness.
Her hips had slowed. She wasn’t moving on me, but that was fine.
I grabbed her with my other hand, holding her against me, and I started to thrust. I rubbed her, and I pushed my shaft into her in the same rhythm.
She sighed. “Oh god,” she whispered. “Oh god, oh god.”
“Good?”
“Uh huh,” she said.
“Good,” I said. I didn’t stop. It felt good to me too. It was dizzyingly sweet to bury myself deep in her, feeling her surrounding me. And every little sound she made sent shivers through me. The more turned on she was, the more my arousal deepened.
“Oh god,” she was still saying. She groaned.
“I want to touch you until you come, Christa,” I said. “You think you can come for me?”
“I don’t… I don’t know… Oh fucking shit, that’s good.”
At this point, I was tempted to speed up. She was turned on, she was in the zone, and it made me want to do it harder and faster. But lots of practice had taught me it was generally a bad idea to speed up. Getting a chick into the zone was a very delicate place. Anything could destroy it. Too much pressure. Not enough. Speeding up. Slowing down. It was best to keep everything the same. The same movement over and over again—as long as that movement was working.
And it seemed to be. So I kept moving my finger in languid circles around Christa’s clit, and I kept driving my dick into her just as deliberately.
And she started to make these incredible noises. They weren’t exactly words, although they sounded like pieces of them. Vowels and consonants, as if she was trying to put together something that made sense, but couldn’t quite do it, because everything felt so good.
Fuck, that turned me on.
“Come for me, Christa,” I pleaded her.
“I don’t…” she managed. “Oh god. Oh god.”
“Yeah, you can do it,” I groaned. She needed to do it soon, because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold on.
“No,” she said. “I can’t. I never— Fuck.” She let out a low, long moan.
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s it. Let it go.”
She whimpered. “Silas, it’s so good.”
“Uh huh,” I urged, rubbing her.
“I am. I think I am. I’m… oh god. Oh god.” And she lost the ability to make words again. She uttered a string of nonsense sounds, her pleasure evident. She writhed against me. I could feel the walls of her pussy collapsing and spasming around me.
And it pushed me over the edge.
I erupted into her, my climax shooting through me like ammunition in the barrel of a shotgun—bright, hot, and thunderous. It was perfect and rapturous, and it was all I felt for several minutes. Just the amazing pleasure of being inside her, spurting into her, losing myself in her.
She collapsed on my chest.
I was still inside her.
I felt wonderful.
And sleepy.
I stroked her back. I closed my eyes. I wanted her here, close to me, in my arms. That was all I needed.
“I can’t believe I just had an orgasm,” she said.
I kissed her forehead. “Aren’t orgasms the way sex is supposed to end?”
“Well, yeah,” she said. “It’s just, you know, I’ve never had one in front of another person before.”
I opened my eyes. “Seriously?”
“I didn’t even know you could touch my clit like that,” she said. “While we were fucking? I don’t know why I never thought of it before, but…”
I liked the weight of her on me. I liked her warmth. I really wanted to go to sleep, but I didn’t think she was going to let me. “Yeah, well, most women can’t climax without clitoral stimulation. I figure that not giving them that is just kind of cruel, don’t you think? Of course, there are some positions that make it easier than others.”
“The little circle things were cool too,” she said. “I never thought about doing circles. But that was really…” She sighed. “Wow.”
I chuckled. “You know, Christa, you had led me to believe that you were fairly experienced.”
“I am,” she said. “I’ve had a lot of sex with a lot of different guys. It just usually doe
sn’t really feel that good.”
“What do you mean?”
I felt her shrug against me. “I don’t usually let guys touch me too much. I like to be the one doing that. I like the way it feels to be desired. It makes me feel powerful. And I guess that I figured that was enough. The powerful feeling was. I thought that was as good as sex maybe got. But you just kind of ruined my entire theory.”
“I did?”
“Yeah, because that was way better than feeling powerful. It was awesome. But it was the complete opposite feeling. Because you had power over me.”
“No, I didn’t,” I said. “Well… maybe I did. But you had power over me too.”
“I didn’t.”
“You made me come too,” I said.
“Yeah, but it’s not much of a big deal to make a guy come.”
I pulled her close. “Pretty big deal to me,” I murmured. “It was really nice.”
“You know what I mean.”
I tilted her face up so that I could kiss her. She felt so perfect against me. I didn’t want to let go of her. I wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms, while I was still inside her. I couldn’t think of anything much nicer than that at the moment.
I yawned.
She punched me on the shoulder, dislodging my penis from her vagina. “You’re going to go to sleep, aren’t you?”
I was disappointed not to be inside her anymore, but I was tired and happy and satisfied, and there wasn’t much that could put me in a bad mood right then.
“We were asleep before,” I mumbled, tightening my arms around her. “Let’s go to sleep like this. I like you close.”
She pushed away. “Your ribs are poking me.”
I had to let her go, into the cold darkness.
I reached after her, but I couldn’t find her.
Didn’t matter.
I let sleep tug me down into its darkness, its deepness.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I woke up to the sound of a gunshot.
Instantly, I was wide awake. The shot had been close, somewhere just outside of the cave. I scrambled to my feet, looking around for Christa.
She wasn’t there.
Panic rose in my throat.
I started for the opening to the cave.
I realized I wasn’t wearing pants.
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