She helped herself to another cookie and didn’t comment on her mother’s statement. If they’d wanted her to be happy, then they wouldn’t have sold this cottage in the first place. They would have spent more time at home and less at the office.
“I don’t need a man to be happy, Mother.”
There was another pause. “Have you decided yet if you want to take over as CEO?”
Ah—so this was the real reason for her call. Just what Brian had asked her. Did the whole world want to know her answer?
But wait—she’d never told her mother that she had any reservations about taking the job.
Mari was shocked. “H-How did you know? I didn’t tell anyone that I—”
“Your father and I figured out it wasn’t only the Jason Fox debacle that had you wanting to take a two-month vacation. You haven’t been happy for a while. You haven’t been yourself.”
She’d never expected that her parents had a clue as to what she’d been going through. Why didn’t they just ask her? Then again, why didn’t she just tell them?
“I don’t know if this is the right time, Mother. I was hoping to talk to you and Father together, but since you already suspect, I’m leaning toward not taking the job.”
Silence.
“Mother?”
“Will you be returning to the company at all, Marigold? Are you leaving completely?”
She could hear the hurt in her mother’s voice, along with a little quiver. Even though she’d married into the Sherwood family, you’d never know it. Sherwood Enterprises was her lifeblood.
And now her mother had developed a sixth sense. How did she know that it had crossed her mind to leave Sherwood altogether?
“I…don’t…know.” She took a deep breath. “Mother, if I decide to leave Sherwood, I’ll give you and father plenty of notice. I’ll even help you find someone to take my place and will train the person for an easy transition. Please don’t worry.”
“This isn’t like you, Marigold.”
Mari sighed. “I know.”
“I am most definitely worried about you, and not just in relation to the business. You’re my daughter, and I don’t want anything to happen to you in the mountains. But Hawk’s Lake is a nice place. I enjoyed my time there.”
This couldn’t be her mother on the phone—the same person who came to Sherwood Lodge for a month in the summer under protest, and who couldn’t wait to get back to Boston.
As they said their goodbyes, Mari felt better. At least her mother now knew, and her father soon would, that Mari was thinking of not accepting the job—and might not continue to work at the company at all. More important, her mother seemed to accept Mari’s decision. Well, mostly.
Yet it was just too easy, and Mari was sure that this wasn’t the end of the discussion.
She cleaned up the kitchen, stored the cookies in plastic bags and then filled the wheelbarrow with more of her pieces to be fired. Then she was going to go outside on her lawn chair, with her sketch pad and her pencils, to play with some designs for her pottery. Maybe draw some loons or trout.
Trout. That was one way to take her mind off her problems.
And that meant Brian. But did she want to reel him in, or throw him back?
The rising sun was burning off the fog, and Brian knew that it was going to be another unseasonably hot, sunny day. He didn’t want to spend it all indoors.
He thought he’d pay a visit to Mari, since she hadn’t answered her phone when he called to see how she was feeling.
He knew she was okay, so he didn’t worry. This was a small town, after all, and word got around. She’d stopped at the bakery and the library yesterday.
Obviously, she was feeling better but didn’t want to talk to him. Why?
He walked over to his heaped desk at the garage, and made neat piles—one for Jack to handle, another for Melanie, and even one for his father. By the time it took him to write a note with instructions for each stack, he could have done the job himself, but he might as well get them used to his absence.
Even if the Sherwood job didn’t work out, he’d planned on applying to other companies that he’d been researching. On his short list was his old brokerage firm in New York where he’d worked after college. He kept in touch with a lot of the people there, particularly his old boss.
When he was gone, his family would have to learn how to take care of the business. He’d teach them—hell, he’d even hire someone for them.
But he’d miss all of them—foibles and all.
As he locked the door behind him, he made a mental note to gather his family together soon and tell them what he was planning.
He unlocked the latches and hit the button to put the top down on his convertible. Slipping in, he drove to his real-estate office. His desk there was even more piled with work, mail and letters.
He noticed the half-revised resumé he’d printed out was on his desk. He picked it up, looked at it and then laid it on top of a cover letter he’d prepared for Tom and Barbara Sherwood a few days ago.
Brian wondered why he didn’t want to finish the damn thing. Maybe it was because Mari really hadn’t given him a definite answer as to whether or not she was accepting the CEO job. He didn’t want to step on her toes.
Mari. Every time he thought of her, he’d relive the feel of her silky skin. The softness of her lips. How it felt to be inside her.
He awoke every morning thinking of her, went to bed every night wanting her beside him.
During the day, he could barely concentrate on the myriad of things he had to do. Instead he kept wondering what Mari was doing.
He just wanted to be with her all the time—talking, laughing and watching how her face glowed when she saw a family of ducks or talked about her pottery.
And now he’d remember the blush of pleasure on her face as they’d made love.
Picking up his incomplete resumé, he shook his head. He cared very much for Mari, and if she stayed in Hawk’s Lake and he moved on, he just couldn’t imagine leaving her.
He’d given up his dreams for his family before, but could he give up his dreams yet again—this time for love?
Chapter Eleven
Mari was on her way to the boathouse to fire some new pieces when she saw the flash of Brian’s convertible out of the corner of her eye. A twinge of excitement rushed through her, followed by a twinge of suspicion.
She didn’t know if she could stand him asking her about her job again. But if he did, she’d keep her cool and be on her toes.
He beeped his horn, and she nodded in his direction. While she was loading the kiln, Brian walked into the boathouse.
“Morning, Mari. Glad to see you’re feeling better.”
His black hair moved from the breeze off the lake, and he looked gorgeous, as usual.
He was casually dressed today—cargo shorts in his favorite color, khaki, along with hiking boots with short socks and a light blue shirt. Even when dressed down, he made her heart pound.
“Thanks.” She decided to keep things light and breezy. “No work today? Is it a national holiday or something?”
He reached out to pull her into a kiss, but she offered him her cheek instead. He moved his head to capture her lips, but she stepped away.
Shifting his feet, Brian stuffed his hands into his pockets. She’d obviously made him uncomfortable. She regretted that, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Something wrong?” he asked. “You’re kind of…distant today.”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” She really felt fine—but also felt the need to be cautious.
“Okay. Whatever you say.” He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing her. “I think I’ll go hiking up Old Baldy. I hate to be inside on such a nice day.” He headed to his car.
She didn’t want him to leave under these circumstances, but they needed time apart.
“Oh.” He turned toward her. “I stopped in at three of my favorite gift shops in the area—the high-end ones. All three are
very eager to sell your pottery.” He paused. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to go hiking with me and celebrate with a picnic, but I guess you’re not in the mood.”
She watched as he got into his car and drove off, feeling even more miserable.
She should feel elated—his news announced her first sale of her own work as an artist. But she’d hurt him, and that was the last thing she wanted to do. She didn’t know how to sort out her feelings in her own mind, so how on earth could she explain them to Brian?
Mari walked over to her lawn chair and stared at the lake, thinking. She could run Sherwood Enterprises, but she couldn’t handle her personal life.
She did at least owe Brian a thank-you for finding outlets for her pottery. After all, he’d made it all possible. What would the harm be in driving up to Old Baldy and talking to him?
Mari hiked the entire trail to the top of the small mountain. Unless Brian strayed from the path, which he could have, he wasn’t around.
Then she remembered that there was a path that led to a waterfall that only the locals knew about. She hadn’t been there in years. Could she find the path? She looked around, trying to remember. Finally, she saw it and backtracked, and eventually found Brian sitting on a boulder staring out at the waterfall.
“Brian?”
He spun around. “What on earth are you doing here? How did you find me?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
His voice still had an edge to it, but at least he was talking to her.
She walked toward him. “All the way up here, I was thinking about the time your dad took us all hiking. I had to have been about ten. I remember how we stood under the waterfall and let it pound us….” She laughed. “And we swung on ropes and fell into the water.”
“I remember,” he said quietly.
“Can I join you?” she asked.
“Suit yourself.”
She took her backpack off, pulled out a plastic bag of her cookies and handed it to him. “A peace offering.” She sat on a rock. “And I want to thank you for everything you did for my pottery business.”
“You didn’t have to come all the way out here to do that. Besides, that’s what friends are for.”
Mari was surprised to hear that he still considered her a friend. She could live with that, although in her heart of hearts, she wanted to believe that he didn’t have another agenda.
“The shop owners must trust you,” she said, wishing that she could trust him so blindly. “They didn’t even know my work.”
“It had nothing to do with me, Mari. Remember those two mugs you gave me? The ones with the ducks on it and the heron?”
“Sure.”
“They loved the look and the detail on the pottery. The White Dove will take anything and everything. The owner, Mavis, wants an area exclusive. You’ll like her.” He smiled slightly. “Likewise with Adirondack Annie’s in Raquette Lake and Gold Medal Gifts in Lake Placid. I tentatively negotiated for a ten-percent commission for each store, pending your approval. I asked around, and some gift-shop owners want fifteen percent.”
“This is so exciting,” she said. “I wish I had a bigger kiln.”
“Don’t worry. I made it clear that you didn’t want to make this a big business—that you were an artist, and didn’t mass-produce. Each piece is an original.”
Mari couldn’t believe the trouble and time he’d expended.
He munched on a cookie. “These are delicious. Is there anything that you can’t do, Mari?”
I can’t pick a man who loves me for who I am and not for what I can do for him.
She smiled in answer to his question.
“Brian, I need to tell you something.” She took a deep breath. “I’m having a problem trusting you.”
He began to speak, but she held up her hand. “Please, let me finish.
“I told you about the three guys who used me to get ahead at Sherwood.”
“I remember.”
“Well…I don’t want you to be the fourth.”
“Mari—”
“Are you romancing me because you want something?”
He looked at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. “Yes. I am.”
Her heart sank. She’d told the truth, and obviously he was reciprocating.
“I want you. That’s all, Mari. Just you.”
Her heart soared. But could she believe him?
“I would never want to do anything to hurt you. And as for trusting me—only you can decide to do that.”
“Fair enough,” she said. He made everything seem so simple.
Brian smiled. “Anything else bothering you?”
“I’m not going to return to Sherwood Enterprises at all. I want to move to Hawk’s Lake.” She looked pointedly at him. “But I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us until I have an opportunity to talk to my parents.”
“Sure. I won’t breathe a word to anyone. Pirate’s promise.”
She smiled at that, then looked over at the waterfall. There was silence between them, then Brian asked, “Are you sure, Mari? Really sure?”
“I’m sure. And I’m relieved. I feel…lighter and happier, now that I’ve decided, but I’m not looking forward to telling my parents and Grandma Rose. I just don’t want them to be disappointed.” She picked up a pebble and tossed it around in her hand. “I did clue in my mother a little when she phoned recently.” She met his gaze. “She suspected that I wasn’t happy lately, but for the most part they thought I came here to get over my latest failed engagement.”
“I hope you’ll be happy here, Mari.” He took her hand. “I have some news myself.” He patted her hand. “I’m going to be moving on.”
Ice settled in the pit of her stomach. “Moving on?”
“Time for me to return to my career path. And I have you to thank.”
“Me? What on earth did I do?”
“You’ve reminded me of what I missed. You’ve had the job—the career—I’ve always wanted. And you’ve inspired me to go after it.”
Mari felt like she couldn’t breathe. She was staying, and Brian was leaving.
No. He couldn’t.
“When?”
“Just as soon as something comes through. I still talk to my old boss, so I might just see if he’s got any openings. And I have a short list of other places I’m going to apply to.”
Excitement shimmered in his eyes. She should be happy for him, happy for herself. She’d finally made a decision, but inside she felt empty, hollow. Like a part of her was missing.
“Want to walk along the falls?” Brian held out his hand and she took it. A tingle shot up her arm at his touch, and she didn’t want to let go. She didn’t have much time with him.
Again, they were going to say goodbye.
They walked hand in hand down the worn path. Mari tried to enjoy the scenery and the calming sound of the water cascading into a small, secluded pool, but all she could think of was that she wouldn’t have Brian to share it with much longer.
He squeezed her hand. “I happen to know a good real-estate agent. I’ll bet he’d sell you Sherwood Lodge.”
“Oh, Brian! Sold!”
It was a small consolation. She’d lose Brian, but she’d gain Sherwood Lodge. Her treasured cottage could never quite make up for the loss of the man who was about to walk out of her life for the second time.
When Brian realized he’d be losing Mari—again—he didn’t feel as good about his decision as he’d thought he would.
“Let’s sit here.” He pointed to a nice grassy spot and they sat down. “One good thing about being my own boss is that I can do something like this on the spur of the moment.”
“That’s very true.” She nodded. “So tell me why Hawk’s Lake doesn’t satisfy you professionally.”
“It’s so peaceful and serene here. I mean, there’s nothing about Hawk’s Lake that gets my heart racing. Nothing high stakes.”
“No prematurely gray hai
r. No heart attack.” She touched his wrist. “Sorry, I’ll shut up. Please, go on.”
“Look, you can’t understand where I’m coming from. Maybe if you grew up in a small town where there’s no big business, you’d understand why I’ve always wanted to work on Wall Street. I want to be a mover and shaker in the finance world. That’s why I went to college. That’s my thing, my dream.”
“And Hawk’s Lake doesn’t need a financial whiz in residence?”
“Hardly.” He shook his head. “Besides, it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t have the excitement, the buzz, the intensity, even the competition with other people all racing for the same brass ring. And I’ve always wanted the challenge of climbing the corporate ladder, of getting to the top. Here, I’m just a one-man band. I miss all that craziness.”
Mari took a deep breath. “I don’t want to sound like I’m lecturing you—which of course I am—but being at the top of the ladder is not all wheeling and dealing. Have you ever told a couple hundred people that you had to lay them off in January? Now, that’s a nice Christmas present.”
“Mari, I know that it’s not all fun and games, but being in the mix of things has always been my dream. It’s always been what I wanted to do.”
“But, Brian, you are in the mix of things. You have a hand in improving the lives of everyone in Hawk’s Lake. Do you think any hotshot CEO has that kind of power? That kind of influence? You impact everyone’s life on such a personal basis, day to day. Why can’t you see that?”
Damn. Could Mari be right?
No way. She meant well, but she was wrong. He just helped out the village whenever he could, but he’d never meant to stay here.
Hawk’s Lake was never his dream.
Mari played with a blade of grass. “I’ll miss you, you know.”
Maybe. But he’d miss her more.
What was he doing? They’d just found each other again after all these years. How could he walk away from her again?
He loved being with her. He loved everything about her.
But he owed it to himself to take a real shot at achieving his dream.
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