A few feet away, Tara pulled her jacket tighter around her with red fingers that matched her nose and ears. Jeff marched to the RV. The mangled rear bumper looked like hell, but he was fairly sure the vehicle was drivable if they ever got out of this traffic mess. Inside, he opened the storage compartment and pulled out two old wool Army blankets. One was slightly moth-eaten, but it would work.
Back outside, he stopped in front of Tara. “Sorry I didn’t think of this earlier. Would you like to sit on a blanket?” He held up the holey one.
“Oh, perfect. Thanks.” She gave him a broad smile and stood, brushing off her butt. “Can you stand for second, sweetie?” she asked Crystal.
“I also grabbed these for you.” He produced the pair of gloves she’d stuffed into the glove box earlier.
Her fingers brushed his as she took them, and their gazes clashed. Desire arced through him like lightning.
“You’re a lifesaver,” she said, breaking eye contact to don the gloves and rub her hands together.
Jeff partially unfolded the first blanket and laid it on the ground to provide some cushion and protection.
Tara and the little girl sat. “Much better.”
He laid the second blanket over their shoulders.
Tara thanked him and Crystal echoed her. She was adorable. They both were.
“Would you guys like something to eat? Or drink?”
Five minutes later, Jeff’s arm was pressed to Tara’s shoulder as the three of them sat side-by-side on the blanket eating chips and salsa. He and Tara sipped from mugs of hot coffee while Crystal drank water.
It was almost like a family picnic. He could imagine himself lounging with Tara and Evan at the bottom of a secluded waterfall in the Rockies, or under a canopy of thick forest in the Smoky Mountains, sneaking kisses while Evan played nearby, making love in their tent—or RV or cabin—after the hike back, dinner, and putting his son to bed.
That was the dream.
And that’s all it was. A fucking ridiculous dream.
Tara’s dark gaze met his and she smiled. His heart dropped into his stomach. Why her? What was it about this woman that hijacked his common sense and made him want things he couldn’t have?
CHAPTER TEN
TARA HAD WATCHED as Jeff moved from group to group, sleeves rolled up to reveal sinewy forearms sprinkled with dark hair, trying to find someone who needed him. Annoyed as he was at the delay in getting to Wilmington, he hadn’t just shut out the world and paced in frustration. He’d taken notice of people and cared for them where possible. He was thoughtful. He’d brought her and Crystal blankets and food, and now he shared his warmth with her.
Sadly, it might have qualified as the most romantic thing a man had ever done for Tara—far more meaningful than flowers or a fancy dinner—and he wasn’t even interested. Attracted, sure, interested, no.
How pathetic her past relationships had been if such a simple gesture could nearly bring her to tears. She deserved better, and by God, she was going to make sure she got it from now on. No more wasting time with fuckboys. She would be smarter when she dove back into the dating pool.
Going on actual dates would be a fantastic start. Did anyone do that anymore?
For now, she was going to ignore her inconvenient hunger for Jeff, focus on staying alive, and figure out a way to end Greg Luciano’s pursuit so she could get her life back.
As the cars ahead started their engines, an ambulance drove up the shoulder, followed by a police cruiser. Within minutes, the paramedics had collected Neema and Crystal—whose dad would meet her and his wife at the hospital. A tow truck soon followed to take away the Volvo, and Jeff’s dented-but-still-running RV was back up to speed soon after.
Once she had a strong cell signal, Tara called the police officer who’d interviewed her after both attacks and explained her theory about Greg Luciano. The woman didn’t sound skeptical exactly, but not optimistic either. Without the photos, there was no easy way to prove Greg was the man Tara had seen.
Antsy, she occupied her hands making the previously promised PBJs and returned to the passenger seat. Jeff finished his sandwich in four bites. Tara took a little longer, swishing with some water to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. The hazard of peanut butter and soft bread. “Do you want another one?”
“I’m good, thanks.” He didn’t look at her, just scanned the road, the rear camera, and his side mirrors.
She cleared their mess and returned to the passenger seat to stare out the window. Now what?
Her mind drifted back to Emily’s bedroom after the funeral, where she had found her younger sister’s journals under the bed. The words that had started all this.
I tried so hard to fight him. I used to think I was strong…
All I’ve ever wanted is to be a model, but now I don’t even want to look at my pictures. He destroyed everything.
I hate him so much. I want to kill him.
Tara closed her eyes. We got him, Emily.
Small consolation since it wouldn’t bring her sister back. But Tara had no regrets. Especially not after reading Emily’s final journal entry.
Funny how relieved I feel now that I’ve made my decision. I never knew how much this life was killing me until I decided to end it. I’ve never felt so free. So calm. Like I’m in control for the first time ever.
My only regret is that Tara will think this is her fault. I wish I could explain, but she’d never understand. She would have known what to do, how to stop him. She’s smarter than me. Stronger.
I wish I could be more like her. She’s the one I’ll miss when I’m gone.
Tara’s nose burned with unshed tears. Emily had given Tara a target for her pain and anger, someone to blame for her sister’s death, and Tara had been determined to make the fucker pay. In the end, she’d been successful, but it hadn’t brought her peace.
She stared at the sky and focused on her breath until the acute sorrow passed.
“What kind of clouds are those?” She pointed to a group of puffy, white ones, the type that always seemed to form some kind of recognizable shape. Like the polar bear she spotted up front. Or the dragon to its right. Watching them morph and flow made her feel more Zen than she had in days.
“Cumulus,” Jeff said without hesitation.
She tried to commit it to memory. “What about those?” The higher clouds looked like someone had pressed a layer of cotton balls between two sheets of glass.
“Is this a test?” he asked, amusement in his voice.
“No, I’m just curious. I’ve always liked to look, but I’ve never bothered to learn what they’re called.”
“That’s not very city girl of you.”
She flipped him off and he laughed.
“Those are altocumulus. They usually mean the weather’s going to change.”
“Really? Why?”
He glanced at her. “You actually want to know?”
“Yes. I mean, in lay terms, but absolutely.”
His long fingers tapped the steering wheel. “They’re a sign of warm and cold fronts interacting. As hot air rises and cools, it condenses the water droplets in the atmosphere, forming clouds. If enough moisture gathers, the clouds will turn into big, fluffy, gray cumulonimbus and we’ll get rain or thunderstorms.”
Tara stared at the clouds. “I had no idea. So what you did in combat weather wasn’t just based on computer models and forecasting?”
“We used every tool we had, but sometimes there’s no substitute for being on-scene. If the forecasts and radar were enough, the military wouldn’t have needed us.”
“That makes sense.” She was curious to learn more, but didn’t want him to feel like he was back in school. “When you were a kid did you ever lie on the ground and watch the clouds?”
He chuckled. “I still do that.”
Of course he did. Why had she stopped? Even when she’d lived in a townhouse in Fairfax, she’d never bothered to lie on her deck and simply relax. “In hi
gh school, I used to lie out at our neighborhood pool in the summer. Tanning was my excuse, but sky gazing was a big draw. That and getting out of the house. My parents and my older sister were…irritating. I think those quiet moments staring at the clouds saved me from going crazy.”
She could feel Jeff’s gaze on her profile, but she kept hers firmly on the heavens. Would they get rain?
“My big brother was a bully,” he said, returning his focus to the freeway. “I spent a lot of time as far away from home as possible. Our house was at the base of a hill in the Springs, so I explored the woods year round from an early age, either with friends, my dad, or my dog. Ian hated the outdoors and spent all of our camping trips whining or sulking with his face in some kind of gadget, but it meant I didn’t have to worry about him following me when I left the house.”
“I’m sorry.” Lauren was a bitch, but she hadn’t tortured Tara or anything. “Was the military your way out?”
“Joining up was always my plan, for all the reasons I mentioned earlier. But getting away from Ian was a definite bonus, especially since he didn’t move out of the house after high school.”
“How long were you in?”
“Twelve years.”
Tara couldn’t think of anything she’d done for that long. Her four years at Steele were a record, but she loved it and had no plans to leave. Some people needed more time than others to find their groove. Story of her life, it seemed. “Would you have stayed in long enough to retire?” By leaving the service early, he’d given up retirement pay and inexpensive health care for life. With only eight years to go, it had been a big sacrifice.
“If not for Evan, you mean?” Jeff rubbed the back of his neck.
“Uh-huh.”
He shrugged. “Probably. But I have no regrets. Evan’s worth it.”
His devotion gave Tara the warm fuzzies. And other warm feelings. How would it feel to be on the receiving end of that kind of love and commitment?
Maybe someday she’d know.
“How’d you end up working for Steele?” he asked, probably tired of talking about himself.
“Jenna and I both worked at Quicksilver Defense when I was kidnapped. I got to know Dan and Kurt during that whole ordeal and aftermath, and a few weeks later Kurt asked me if I’d be interested in working for him. I don’t know if he took pity on me or what, but he definitely needed help running the place.” She sometimes wondered if Kurt had done it as a favor to Jenna’s husband Mick so Jenna could quit worrying about her, but maybe it no longer mattered. “It turned out to be a good fit.”
Jeff nodded. “The guys talk about you like you’re Wonder Woman.”
Her cheeks burned and she scoffed. If only. “I’ve been able to help out a few times, but Caitlyn’s far more qualified to wear the bulletproof bracelets.”
“It’s about more than dodging bullets,” he said, but didn’t elaborate, and she wasn’t going to fish for compliments.
They fell silent, and spent the next hour listening to indie rock while Tara absently watched the scenery.
“You must be getting tired,” she said. “Do you want me to drive?”
“No, thanks. I’m fine.”
“You don’t think I could handle it?” She was small, but the RV had power steering. And she was a good driver.
“Honestly?” Jeff gave her a haggard look. “I have no doubt you could handle it. I just need to feel like I’m doing something or I’m going to lose it. Driving helps.”
Hard to argue with that.
Around five, they reached Wilmington and found space in an RV park busy with midwestern snowbirds clinging to the last of the mild winter.
After they parked, Tara hopped out of the passenger-side door of the cab, relieved to finally be off her butt. Jeff stayed inside to call the local detective working on Bridget’s case.
Jeff opened the narrow side door and stepped out. “I have to be there at nine tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Do you need me to come along as your alibi?”
He shook his head. “I’m not a suspect, and I have better ways to prove my location.”
Good. The less she had to talk to the police, the better. “Will there be a funeral for Bridget?”
He frowned. “I don’t know. I guess that’s up to Roy, wherever he is. Maybe when I find Evan we’ll have our own little service. Something to give him a way to say goodbye.”
“I’m sure he’d like that.”
Jeff turned silent while she paced the length of the kitchen waiting for her phone to connect to the camp WiFi. “No word from Valerie yet.” She managed to stifle a sigh.
“She’ll find something,” Jeff assured her from where he leaned against the wall, arms crossed, seething with suppressed energy.
“See, it’s not that hard to be positive.”
Her ribbing brought out a too-fleeting smile. “I have my moments.”
It was probably killing him not to be able to do anything about Evan.
On some level, she could relate. Her inability to change the situation with Greg Luciano, her desire to forget, made her even more restless than usual.
She could think of one way to distract both of them, but if his reaction to their kiss was anything to go by, he wouldn’t be interested. He didn’t want any distractions. And she didn’t want to get involved with a man who was guaranteed not to stick around.
Right?
Absolutely, one hundred percent correct.
“Are you hungry?” she asked, thoroughly sick of sitting still. “Or up for a walk on the beach? The sun won’t set for a couple hours.”
“I could walk,” he said with a fleeting glance at his bedroom.
Another good reason to bail. She wanted him, and with a mattress so close—and time on her hands—unhelpful ideas were inevitable. Better they stay out of the RV as long as possible and hopefully crash, too exhausted to even think about another astounding kiss.
A girl could hope.
After a pit stop to put gas in the poor, crumpled camper, Jeff drove them to Wrightsville Beach. Tara’s heart lifted the instant they walked past the thin slats of wood that bordered the grassy dunes and stepped onto the open sand. The blessedly warm air—at least compared to NOVA—smelled different. Fresh and briny. The soft breeze caressed her arms and calmed her soul.
This was why Jenna had moved to the beach. Tara loved Northern Virginia, but she could see the appeal of the coastal life. Rather than move, she satisfied herself with regular visits to South Carolina. In fact, she’d be heading there as soon as Jenna gave birth. If for no other reason than that, Tara needed to get Greg off her back ASAP so she could take care of Robbie, and help Jenna and Mick, without putting anyone in danger.
She strolled beside Jeff in silence, focusing on the shush of the low waves as the sun sank lower into the sky, painting the world in a golden blush. Some kind of elegant, white water bird lifted in flight as they approached, soaring briefly before landing in the dunes.
For a moment, she could almost forget that someone wanted her dead. That Emily was gone forever. That she wanted to kiss Jeff with near meltdown-level desperation. That she wanted his hands and mouth on her body. Everywhere.
“I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a father before I found out about Evan,” he said suddenly. “I hadn’t given it any thought. I was twenty-nine, so not too young or anything, but I hadn’t met a woman who made me think about kids and family, and my deployment schedule wasn’t good for long-term relationships. I figured family could come later.”
Tara forced herself to keep her mouth shut and merely nodded.
“When Bridget gave me the news… At first, I was so pissed. We hadn’t discussed our options, I didn’t know if she’d taken care of herself during the pregnancy, and I didn’t think I wanted a kid, especially her kid. Evan tied me to her permanently and created all kinds of obligations.”
“But you left the Air Force for him anyway.”
Jeff nodded and gazed over her
head at the waves, arms crossed over his chest. “Even before I met him, I knew I couldn’t let Bridget be his only parental influence. The decision had been made without me, but he’s my son. He wasn’t going to grow up without me in his life.”
He stopped and looked down at her then, his brown eyes fierce. “I didn’t know how much I’d enjoy being a dad. Or that I’d love him so much,” Jeff said softly.
Tara’s heart did a slow roll. Unable to stop herself, she laid a hand on his arm. She wanted to leach away all of his pain, erase the haunted look in his eyes, soothe the tension in his corded shoulders.
His gaze slipped to her mouth and the breath stalled in her chest.
Without warning, he swiveled away from her and turned his back to the wind, curling around his upper body, sheltering the phone he slid from his front pocket. “Olivia, what’s up?” He paused. “Yeah, we’ve been here about an hour.”
Heart galloping, Tara forced herself to keep walking. This time she’d give him privacy. If he wanted her to know what was going on, he’d tell her.
“We found Evan,” Olivia said. “Alive and well.”
Tears rushed to Jeff’s eyes and his legs threatened to give out. “Really?” He didn’t trust his own ears.
“Yes,” Olivia said, the smile clear in her voice. “Really.”
Holy shit, he hadn’t misheard. “Olivia, thank you.” He looked around for something to lean on, but he was surrounded by water and sand, and Tara was still walking, already several yards away.
He sat.
“When can I see him?” Jeff rubbed his eyes and took a shaky breath, resting his elbows on his knees. The good news punched right through the walls he’d built to protect himself from all the fear and pain. He couldn’t hold himself together as emotions rushed through him like a flash flood.
“I’ll let you know. He’s with Roy, as we suspected. They’re living in a house just outside Wilmington. I’ve notified the police of their location, and they want to talk to Conklin in connection with Bridget’s murder.”
“Tell me where they are. I’ll get Evan myself.”
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