by Amber Garza
“You know what I mean. My first friend that’s a girl,” I clarify.
“Why do you need another friend? You’ve already got the best one right here.”
“And so humble too,” I mutter under my breath. Sweat forms on my brow and above my lip. “Let’s get in the water, it’s too hot out here.” Standing up, I shimmy out of my cover up and toss it on top of my towel.
Cruz and I walk down toward the water. The sand is warm on my heels. A couple of kids run past us, kicking up sand from their wet feet. I hold out my arm, blocking it from spraying me in the face. When my toes hit the frigid water, I let out a little gasp and yank my foot back.
“Oh, no.” Cruz chuckles, grabbing my hand and pulling me forward. “You’re not chickening out again.”
Water covers both feet, and I shiver. “Cruz, no.” I snatch my hand from his and whirl away from him, but I’m not fast enough. His arms fasten around my middle lifting me from the ground. Squealing, I kick my legs as he flings me toward the water. As my legs hit the water, I grapple for him, circling my arms around his neck. Together we fall into the water, and it swallows us whole. It’s so cold, it steals my breath.
When I come up for air, I splash him. “You’re gonna pay for that.”
He sputters as water hits him in the face. Before I can splash him again, he grabs my arm and holds it steady. Our faces are so close they are almost touching. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Adam a few feet away staring at us. My heart kicks up speed, and I shake my arm out of Cruz’s grasp. Then I push away from him. When he comes after me, I give him a stern look.
“Cruz, stop,” I hiss.
The teasing look drops from his face, his expression turning serious. “What’s going on?”
“Adam is watching us.”
“Oh, no.” He widens his eyes in mock horror. “Who cares?”
“Well, it’s just that...” My feet find the sand at the bottom of the lake, and I ground myself. With my hand I push wet hair out of my eyes. “I don’t want him to get the wrong impression about us, you know?”
Cruz’s eyes harden. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want that. Would we?”
“Cruz, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I get it. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he doesn’t get the wrong impression.” He turns from me, diving under water. When he surfaces a little ways down, he doesn’t even look back. He just keeps swimming as if he can’t get far enough away from me.
4
cruz
I kick my legs, pumping with my arms in an attempt to swim as fast as humanly possible. My hands slice through the frigid water with each stroke. With my eyes closed, I have no idea where I’m going. But truthfully, I don’t give a damn. I could swim all the way to Japan and it wouldn’t be far enough.
Seriously, what are the chances of running into Adam today at the lake? Until the last couple of weeks I had never run into him anywhere other than school. And now suddenly it’s like I’m a freaking Adam Stewart magnet or something. Or maybe Sloane is. God, the look on her face when she saw him was sickening.
I was already struggling enough when she took off her cover up revealing that tiny bikini. Sloane may not realize just how smoking hot she looks in a bathing suit, but trust me, she does. In fact, for a minute the overprotective side of me started to rear its ugly head. I came seriously close to demanding she cover up. Every guy in the place was ogling her, including Adam. But Sloane’s oblivious to stuff like that. In fact, the only reason she bought that skimpy bikini was because of Becca.
Ugh. Becca. That’s a girl I wish I’d never dated. Even worse that she latched on to Sloane, making it her life’s mission to turn Sloane into a Becca clone or some shit like that. Sloane doesn’t need to be anyone’s project. She’s perfect just the way she is.
As my arms move swiftly through the water, gentle waves slapping me in the face, I start to worry about my sanity. Sloane and I have hung out practically every day since we were five, and I’ve never acted like this. In fact, it’s safe to say I’ve helped her put on sunblock hundreds of times, and yet when I did it today it felt oddly sensual. I found my mind wandering to places it shouldn’t. It took all my willpower for my hands not to follow where my thoughts went. I wanted to chase them all over her smooth, porcelain-like skin. For one irrational moment I thought she felt the same way. When she moaned, “Oh, my god,” I thought it was in response to my touch.
What an idiot.
I should’ve known it had to do with him.
Stopping, I break the surface of the water, lifting my head. Circling my hands in the water, I hold my body up, then crane my neck to look back at the shore. Shit, I did go far. Squinting, I spot Sloane. She’s talking with Adam in the water. Surprise, surprise.
Taking a deep breath, I turn around. It’s time to go back and face the music. I’m going to have to explain my behavior to Sloane, and I have no idea what I’ll say. What explanation can I give for why I’m acting like some jealous boyfriend? I don’t even understand it myself.
As I stare at Sloane and Adam, a memory surfaces.
Becca and I had just started dating. Sloane had a track meet that Saturday morning and I promised to go. I never missed any of her home track meets. After I woke up I got a text from Sloane with the times of her heats, so I hurriedly got ready, not wanting to miss any of her races. The problem was that apparently I had promised Becca we’d hang out, and I’d completely forgotten. She didn’t though. And she showed up at my house just as I was walking out the door.
Becca was dressed in a skirt and flowery shirt. When she saw me in my gym shorts and t-shirt she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I thought we were going out?”
That was the thing about Becca. She was kind of a snob. I let it slide because she was gorgeous. Before you go on thinking that I’m a complete ass, I did at one time like her personality. I never would’ve asked her out if I didn’t. In fact, when we first met she was really sweet and she had a spunky side that reminded me of Sloane. But once we got together, her true colors shone brightly and her high-maintenance side was a bit of a turn off.
“We are,” I said with a smile. “We’re going to Sloane’s track meet.”
“A track meet?” Becca glanced down. “In this?”
I shrugged. “Hey, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t tell you to wear that.”
She glared at me, and then I felt guilty. It really wasn’t her fault. I was the one who screwed up. And I did like her. At that point in our relationship she hadn’t completely turned me off yet. So I sidled up next to her, circling her waist and drawing her close. “But don’t worry about it. You’ll be the most beautiful girl at the meet.”
“I will?” She batted her lashes.
No, not really. Sloane would be there. But I kept that thought to myself and instead said, “Of course.” And kissed her gently on the mouth. At least I meant for it be gently, but Becca was always an eager kisser. We got a little carried away and kissed a little too long.
By the time we got to the meet we had missed Sloane’s first heat. And it was her best one. The one she’d been most nervous about. In fact, she’d spent all last night talking to me about it. When I spotted Sloane all sweaty and breathing hard, my heart sunk into my stomach, and I felt like shit.
“Sloane.” I broke away from Becca and ran toward her.
She turned to me, her eyes hard.
“I’m so sorry. I tried to get here in time, but then Becca showed up and so I was just running a little late.”
“It’s fine.” But her tone told me it was anything but.
I sighed. “I’m really sorry.”
She shrugged, her gaze sliding over to Becca. “You had more important things to do.”
Her words pierced my heart. I grabbed her arm. “No. Nothing’s more important to me than you.”
“If that were true, you would’ve been here.” She shook my arm off. “I won, by the way,” she said before stomping off.
After that day I never missed another one of her rac
es. And I made a vow to myself that I would never put anyone before her. I’ve kept that promise. I think that’s why it’s hard for me to see her with Adam. I’m worried that maybe now it’s my turn to come second, and I don’t think I can handle that. But I know that makes me sound like an asshole, so I’ll work on it.
Sloane has been by my side through several girlfriends. I can do the same for her. I owe her that much at least. But I swear, if Adam hurts her, I’ll kick his ass.
Diving back under the water, I make the swim back to the shore. As I swim, I steel myself for seeing Adam and Sloane. I even coach myself on how to act and what to say, promising that I won’t act all macho or weird. When I get close, I bob my head up and my breath hitches in my throat. Damn, they moved fast. Sloane is seriously in Adam’s arms, her face pressed to his chest. The whole scene is a little shocking. My feet find the bottom of the lake, and I stand up as Sloane and Adam separate. He glances up, spotting me. Then he smiles and waves in my direction.
Remembering my earlier pep talk, I force myself to respond cordially and make my way over to them.
5
sloane
“Hey, Sloane.”
I whip my head around at the sound of Adam’s voice. My reflection stares back at me from the lenses of his sunglasses. “Hey,” I respond shyly.
“What’s going on?” he asks, and my mind immediately flies back to Cruz’s weird behavior a minute ago.
“Nothing much.” I steal a glance over my shoulder, but don’t see Cruz. When I return my attention to Adam, he flashes me a dimpled smile, and my insides warm. I smile back, deciding to deal with Cruz later. Adam and I are both standing waist deep in the water, and I can’t help but notice how defined Adam’s chest muscles are.
“You came here with Cruz?”
“Yeah.” I remember how Cruz was holding me in the water. How it might appear to someone observing us. “You know…as friends.” Embarrassment creeps up at his knowing grin. Why did I say that?
“That’s cool. I came here with some friends too.”
That’s when I notice the gaggle of girls watching us from where Adam had been swimming earlier. My insides knot. “Oh.” I drop my gaze. “Well, I’ll let you get back to them.”
“It’s okay. I like talking to you.” He moves a little closer, the scent of his sunblock wafting under my nose. I have trouble breathing.
“Oh.” It’s the best response I can formulate. With this riveting conversation I’m sure he’ll be racing off to those other girls any minute.
“Is everything all right?”
Can he read me that well? My cheeks flush. “Um…yeah. Why?”
“I saw you and Cruz talking before he took off. It looked like maybe you had a fight or something.”
Irritation with Cruz bubbles inside of me. “No. Everything’s fine. He just wanted to go for a swim and I didn’t.”
“Well, he’s going pretty far.” He holds up his hand to shield his face. “I can hardly see him anymore.”
I sigh, but force a smile. “He’s always liked swimming.” It’s true. We were on swim team together when we were kids, and Cruz outswam me all the time. “He’ll be fine.”
“What about you? You like swimming?”
I shrug. “Not as much as Cruz does, but it’s okay.”
“What do you like to do?”
The sun pierces my eyes, so I hold my hand up to shield them. “I like to run.”
“Ah, that’s right. You run track, right?”
I nod, stunned that he knows that. Track isn’t exactly the most exciting sport at our school. I know I’ve never seen Adam at a track meet.
“You any good?”
“Um…I’m not the best, but I’m not the worst either.” I shrug. “I can outrun Cruz on long distance runs.”
“You and Cruz hang out a lot, huh?”
I bite my lip. A few kids swim past, their legs accidentally splashing us as they kick their legs. Averting my gaze, I squint as liquid sprays my cheek. Reaching out, Adam wipes the dampness from my skin. Surprised, I shudder at his touch. A few of the girls Adam was with are now glaring in our direction. I can’t help but feel a strange sense of satisfaction. This is all new to me.
“Yeah. All the time,” I say when he draws his hand back. Realizing that doesn’t sound good, I add, “I mean, he lives across the street, and we’ve kind of always hung out. He’s like my brother or something.”
A broad smile sweeps over Adam’s face, causing me to feel momentarily guilty for downplaying my friendship with Cruz. He’s more than a brother to me, and I don’t hang out with him just because we live close. But this is Adam Stewart! Adam Stewart is talking to me, and even flirting a little. I can’t let my friendship with Cruz ruin this for me. Plus, I’m sure Cruz would understand. He’s had numerous girlfriends over the years, and I’m certain he’s had to explain our relationship to them. Funny, I’ve never thought about that before. I wonder what he’s told them about me. I’ll have to ask him sometime.
“Does that mean you’ll be my tambourine girl again next practice?”
His tambourine girl? I like the sound of that. “Definitely.”
A couple of the girls swim near, eyeing us. I recognize one of them as Brooke, a cheerleader at our school. She looks stunning even in the water, with her jet black hair, bright eyes, and toned body. I’m pretty sure I resemble a drowned rat at this moment, and I fully expect Adam to hightail it to Brooke. Especially when she swims directly in Adam’s line of vision, throwing him a seductive wink. Adam doesn’t seem to notice though. He keeps his gaze trained on me, and it makes me feel like the most special girl in the entire world.
I’m slammed from behind and pitched forward. The side of my face hits Adam in the chest, and his arms come around me.
“Sorry,” a male voice says apologetically, as he races past holding a Frisbee in his hand.
I don’t bother responding since he’s out of earshot by the time I find my voice. Adam’s hands on me, our bodies skin to skin, has rendered me speechless.
“You okay?” Adam peers down at me with a look of concern.
As I start to nod, I catch a glimpse of Cruz approaching. He looks at me, and scowls. Taking a deep breath, I step back from Adam. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Sure. No problem.” His head bobs toward Cruz. “Looks like he’s back.” He steps around me. “Hey, man.”
“Hey.”
“You sure can swim. You were way the hell out there,” Adam says to him.
“Yeah.” Cruz runs a hand over his hair. “It wore me out.” His eyes meet mine. “Ready to go, Sloane?”
“Sure.” Disappointment lodges in my throat as I turn to Adam. “I’ll see you later.”
He leans close, his lips almost touching my cheek and whispers, “You sure will, my tambourine girl.”
I shiver as his warm breath fans my skin. Then he disappears under water, leaving me to wonder if I imagined the whole thing.
“What was that about?” Cruz sidles up next to me.
“Nothing.” I walk ahead of him.
“It didn’t look like nothing.” He hurries to catch up. I step onto the sand, grateful to be out of the cold water. My feet are all pruny, and my legs are almost blue from the cold. I hardly noticed how freezing it was while I stood in it, but that must have been because my lower body had gone numb. Or maybe it was because Adam’s proximity made me all hot and bothered. “A week ago you’d never even talked to the guy, and now you’re letting him grope you.”
“He was not groping me.” When I reach my towel I snatch it up and wrap it around my body. “Some guy knocked into me and I fell over.”
“Ah. Yes, I think I remember that happening with Becca too.”
“I wasn’t playing a game. It’s what really happened.”
Cruz ties his towel around his waist, water dripping down his legs and into the sand. My own feet are caked in mud as water drips from my hair. “Sure.”
“What is your problem?” I p
lace a hand on my hip. Cruz and I rarely fight. His behavior is so out of character today.
“Nothing.” He smiles, his face softening, and it’s like my Cruz has returned. “I’m just giving you a bad time.”
“That’s all this is?” I fix him with a stare.
He nods.
“What about when you went swimming away?”
“I wanted to go for a swim, and you wanted to make sure Adam didn’t think we were a couple.” He shrugs. “So I took off. It worked, didn’t it?”
He had a point. “You’re not mad then?”
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
“No reason.” I snatch up my beach bag, wanting to feel relieved by our conversation, but I don’t. Something is off. I just can’t put my finger on it.
When I get home Mom and Dad are fighting. I know it even before I step inside the house. Their hollering can be heard all the way in the front yard. I cringe, glancing around to make sure the neighbors can’t hear. Dad’s voice is harsh and low, while Mom’s is shrill and loud. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but it still makes me feel sick.
The house on the corner of our street is a rental. A few years ago a young couple rented it out, and they used to fight all the time. Cruz and I would hear them when we rode our bikes down the street or took a walk. I always felt embarrassed for them, and I was happy when they moved out. I never thought my family would one day be like them. My parents have always had a good marriage, or at least I thought they did. Sure my dad works long hours and used to travel a lot, but when he was home they seemed to get along.
However, lately they fight constantly. I’ve tried to ask Mom about it, but she won’t divulge anything to me, so I have no idea what’s going on with them. Not wishing to get in the middle of it, I turn around and head back over to Cruz’s.
He doesn’t bother masking his surprise when he opens the door. “Missed me already, huh?” His eyes travel down my bikini-clad body which is slightly obscured by my sheer cover-up. “Couldn’t even change out of your suit.” I sigh. His eyes lock with mine and his expression sobers up. “What’s wrong?”