by Nancy French
The 2011 CoverGirl Classic in Chicago would be my first competition in three years. I knew that the media and spectators had last seen me in Beijing and were likely to compare my performance to that. I had to remind myself that Chow and I had agreed this would serve as a practice run and a signal to others that I was serious about competing again. I had to accept that I did not yet have the difficult skills needed to get high scores and place in each event. My goals might have seemed simplistic: I just wanted to complete a clean routine without making any big mistakes. If I did my best on the beam and uneven bars, my two events, I would have to be satisfied.
It felt wonderful to be competing again, and the enthusiasm and support from the crowd was energizing. As I feared, though, I got a lot of flak for my performances because I wasn’t yet in top shape. The highlight was competing alongside Gabby Douglas, who also trains at Chow’s.
The following month I was in St. Paul for the Visa Championships. Once again, I was incredibly nervous going into the competition. This time I tied for third on beam and gave clean performances on the uneven bars and vault. A few days later I was thrilled to be named to the national team by USA Gymnastics.
In November I was off to Mexico for the Pan Am Games. Our team took the all-around gold medal; I also earned a silver medal on the bars. The last time I’d competed at the Games, I’d been the youngest team member at fifteen. This time I was the oldest American on the team, which meant I got to play the “mama” role for my teammates. Having been through it all before, I was able to offer them advice and encouragement.
Now if only I could find a way to keep myself encouraged too.
Lesson I’ve Learned
Be humble and patient with yourself. Take it one day at a time; you are the only person who can hold yourself back.
Chapter 33
Just Believe
Honor God with your body.
—1 Corinthians 6:20
“BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.” Perhaps that’s the most important advice I give myself these days. When I was competing for a spot on the Olympic team in 2008, I worked incredibly hard, and success just seemed to follow. Once again, I am working incredibly hard . . . yet it doesn’t come as easily as it did when I was younger, injury free, and doing gymnastics simply for the pure pleasure of it.
This time around, progress has been slower and much more painful, both physically and mentally. But I’ve come to realize that I’m a lot stronger than I think I am.
I get so much joy from sharing this message with people everywhere I go. I love to tell high school, middle school, and elementary students about how I found my own passion for gymnastics and how, by really putting my mind to it, my passion took me places I never dreamed of.
I’m also a stronger advocate of fitness than ever before. One key reason for making a comeback was my desire to feel athletic again, to get my body back into top shape. But I realize that many kids don’t have the same love for fitness that I’ve always had.
That’s why I jumped at the chance to partner with US Congressman Bruce Braley on the Shawn Johnson Fitness for Life Act, which he introduced in December 2011. This bill seeks to build on a unique partnership between the University of Northern Iowa and the state’s Grundy Center School District. Together they incorporated technology and innovative teaching practices in physical education classes in a way that has led to higher levels of student fitness and enjoyment.
In a traditional PE class, kids might be drilled in the fundamentals of volleyball one day and then lined up and ordered to do push-ups the next. It’s an approach many kids hate. And if they dread physical activity at this age, they’re much less likely to be concerned about staying fit later on.
Physical education classes in the Grundy Center School District are quite different. Each day students are broken up into groups and given choices: they might work out to Dance Dance Revolution on the Wii or join in a game of dodgeball. Some might choose to go into the weight room or play baseball. Kids who absolutely hate the idea of working out on a treadmill or trying to hit a baseball in front of their classmates can choose to participate in a low-pressure activity instead.
Whatever activity they choose, all students wear heart rate monitors and know their individual target heart rate. Once they reach that heart rate, they’ve met their goal for the day. Of course, if they’re having a blast running around while playing tag with rubber chickens, they may not want to stop. On top of that, the out-of-shape, overweight kids are likely to reach their target heart rate first. After that, they are allowed to do whatever they want. On the other hand, the track stars have to work ten times harder to reach their target heart rate since they’re in better shape. This program gives small successes to those who ordinarily feel inferior for not being as in shape or as fit as the class jocks.
The real goal is to help kids discover that exercise is fun. The energy and enjoyment they get from exercise will follow them for the rest of their lives. I’ve been able to visit high schools that have adopted this new approach, and it’s amazing to watch fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds run around the gym like they’re eight, totally excited to be in gym class.
Naturally, I’m often asked if I’d like to coach gymnastics at some point. I’ve already had the opportunity to coach gymnastics clinics every once in a while, and I love mentoring girls and sharing my experiences with them. Yet I honestly don’t see coaching as a future career for me. As much as I love gymnastics, I know too many details of what it requires of girls, both mentally and physically, to become a coach.
I’ll probably do a little bit of everything in college and in my future career. I’d like to keep working with different companies, charities, and foundations as well. I can’t imagine myself ever having just one job. It’s not the way my mind works, and I’ve had to concentrate on one thing for far too long.
I want to go to college, I want to get married, and I want to have kids. And promoting fitness will always be important to me. In March 2011, I was the first gymnast to sign a sponsorship deal with Nike and was able to spend a day at the company’s Oregon headquarters the following month.
Nike was interested in working with me because they believe in my story. They see my desire to earn a spot on another Olympic team as a good representation of what it means to “Just do it,” the slogan that sums up what Nike is all about. Thanks to them, I’m learning more about the business of fitness. That’s important to me because one of my long-term goals is to open a fitness center that makes getting in shape fun. Too often people dread going to the gym, and I want to turn that perception around. If my business eventually turned into a franchise operation, that would be a dream come true.
Whatever happens in 2012, my gymnastics career will come to an end. I still love the sport, but I’m finally at a place where I’m ready to move on. Let’s face it, gymnastics doesn’t last forever. In fact, it lasts a remarkably short amount of time. That’s why I’m beginning to lay the groundwork for the rest of my life now.
Chapter 34
No Regrets
Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.
—James Dean
AFTER I RETURNED from the Pan Am Games in November 2011, I had to admit that I was still dealing with a lot of residual pain from my two surgeries. To make matters worse, I often struggled with anxiety that I would tear my ACL or MCL again.
Gymnastics is one of the most dangerous sports there is, so injuries are bound to happen. Learning to be safe and to train wisely is a balance that’s hard to find when you no longer have full confidence in your body. I lost that confidence when I was injured. I now understand that I’m not a machine, and I can be broken. The feelings of invincibility I once had are gone.
Looking back, I believe the pain continued because, once again, I had made my comeback a priority over rehab. For the first year after I announced my intention to make the 2012 Olympic team, I was overwhelmed with trying to multitask everything. I was trying to get my body back in shap
e. I was trying to get my gymnastics skill set back. I was trying to rearrange my schedule, which was full of commitments to sponsors. I felt like I was trying to take on the entire world.
Honestly, that’s where my faith has been a huge help to me. My whole life I’ve been incredibly blessed to have parents, my cousin Tori, Coaches Chow and Li, and so many other people loving and encouraging me along the way. Yet I now know that God has always been there with me too. Not only that, but he invites me to leave everything up to him. When I try to control and handle everything myself, I get overwhelmed.
I realized that I’d been ignoring my ongoing knee problems out of fear. I was afraid that if I took time for rehab, I’d lose ground in my training—and maybe never make my comeback. Once I admitted this fear to myself, I knew I needed to take a step of faith. I had to return to rehab once more. Fortunately, my sponsor Nike wanted to support me in any way it could, and with the company’s assistance, I was able to begin a six-week program at the Michael Johnson Performance Center near Dallas in early 2012.
The professionals there worked with me to strengthen my knee through intensive physical therapy and biometrics work. Just as important were my weekly meetings with my mental skills coach and with Michael Johnson, founder of the center. As a four-time Olympic gold medalist in track and field, Michael really understood the pressures I was facing in my comeback bid. Both he and my coach listened to my concerns and doubts, and they reminded me I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by seeing how far I could go this time around.
One of the hardest parts of trying for a comeback is not knowing how things will work out in the end. You know the cartoon showing a good angel sitting on one shoulder and a devil on the other? If I’m not careful, I hear that little, negative voice in my head competing with the positive one I always listened to in the past. One tells me “you can”; the other says “you can’t.” I’m learning the importance of staying positive on a day-to-day basis and giving it my all. I can take just one day at a time.
By mid-February I was back in West Des Moines to resume full gymnastics training and continue preparing for the Visa Championships and the Olympic Trials in June 2012. Will all the pain and stress be worth it if I don’t make the Olympic team? Few things compare to the pride that comes from competing for your country with the world’s best athletes. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t love to be there, performing in the arena in London.
But in the end I have to accept that I don’t have to make the team to be successful. As I learned the first time around, the judging, scoring, and placements are out of my hands anyway. I could be at the top of my game and still for some reason just not fit into the puzzle. So to me, success will mean knowing I made it as far as I possibly could, both physically and mentally. I don’t yet know whether that will mean standing on the Olympic podium with a medal or traveling to London to be our team’s number one cheerleader.
When I decided to return to competitive gymnastics, it was because I missed gymnastics more than I ever expected. I missed being considered an athlete and having a channel for my competitive drive. I missed having something to work for every day. I came back because I wanted to prove something to myself. I came back to get myself physically healthy and mentally happy.
In 2008, I gave 100 percent of my effort, and I’m giving 100 percent now. Back then I learned that having a winning balance doesn’t always mean winning the medal; it means keeping the important things in life in balance.
When I give it everything I’ve got, then I’ve already won. I’m just thankful to know I will cross the finish line somewhere with the confidence that I couldn’t have given any more. I know I can live the rest of my life with no regrets, without the nagging question “What would have happened if . . . ?” In that sense, I’ve got nothing to lose.
I know I have overcome so much already. All I can focus on right now is my goal for today. When I leave the gym, I look for that small success that shows my knee is a little stronger or I’m performing a skill a little better.
That’s the message I want you to embrace as well. Don’t allow yourself to be limited by what people say you should be doing. Follow your passion; do what seems to come most naturally to you. Follow your heart, and trust that it is pointing you in the direction you’re supposed to go. Harness the energy you feel toward the activity you love, and your passion will take you to amazing places. Trust that God will walk with you through the hard times. Be grateful for the many ways he is working out all the details of your life so you can make the most of the gifts and opportunities he’s given you.
God has certainly done that for me. After all, what are the odds that an energetic, risk-taking little girl from the middle of Iowa would have the opportunity to be coached by a Chinese world champion without leaving home? What are the chances that this unlikely pair would catch the eye of Bela and Martha Karolyi—and that I would eventually compete in the Olympic Games back in my coach’s hometown?
If you had told me when I was a kid that I’d end up on the Olympic platform in Beijing, that I’d sign a deal with Nike, that I’d have my own Wii game, or that I’d win a popular dance competition, I wouldn’t have believed it. Life can be so unexpected and startling that sometimes not knowing the future is a gift.
But there are some things that I do know.
I know that I’ve had the opportunity to do things others haven’t even dreamed of doing.
I know that I’ve represented my country well in various competitions.
I know that there’s honor in working hard to do something worthwhile—no matter how improbable the goal.
I know that sometimes I lose.
I know that frequently I win.
I know that either way, I’m still loved by God and my family and legions of little girls watching at home.
I know that I’m thankful for it all, win or lose.
And even though this is the last chapter of this book . . . I’m really looking forward to the next chapter of my life.
Honestly, I can’t wait to see how this story unfolds.
My Heart
Grant me this eternal light.
Give me love, give me life.
Take my past and give me grace.
Walk the path to which I face.
Free my heart from this I feel.
Lift me up and help me heal.
Save me from what hurt my heart,
beat me down, and made me part,
made me fear and want to hide.
Take away the pain inside.
Give me pride and give me strength.
See the time in all its length.
Keep me close to those that care,
ones that love and want to share,
ones that help when things go wrong,
pick me up and make me strong.
Let them know what I feel inside:
burning flames that will not die.
The peace of mind and piece of heart,
forever and always they’ll have a part.
Let them know they changed my life,
made me whole, and showed me the light:
re-lit the flame that burnt in here,
the passion and desire that made it clear,
then taught me how to leap and fly,
taught me love and regret,
something I will not forget.
My heart’s been turned inside out,
but never once did I doubt
what it was they gave to me:
compassion, love, sincerity.
Acknowledgments
TO THOSE WHO have always believed in me . . . thank you.
God: For being my greatest constant supporter, teacher, and love.
My family: For loving me and for always being there. You are my foundation and my rock to stand on. You love me for who I am, and the comfort that comes from your love and support means the world to me.
Tori: For being the sister I never had. I love you more than you could ever know. You have ch
eered me on since day one. Having you by my side through this whole adventure has been one of the greatest blessings of my life.
Pat: For being the best godfather, friend, and supporter! I love you, big man, and miss the old times when I would flip off your arms!
Ryan: For believing in me, supporting me, loving me, and showing me my way again. I’ve never learned to truly respect, love, and cherish someone so much.
The Edwards and Price families: For taking me in as one of your own. You all have taught me more than you could ever know. I love you guys, and you will forever be a part of my life!
The Oman family: For being a second family I could always count on. We’ve been through everything together, and I couldn’t love and respect you any more than I do.
Alice and Lauren: For being the two best friends I could have ever asked for! It feels like yesterday that we were in kindergarten together. Thank you for being true and for loving me for me.
Maryah and Jessa: For being the best teammates ever. I’ve looked up to you girls since the first day I walked into the gym. You both have never failed to push me, love me, and continually motivate me to be better. Your heart and passion for the sport is a true blessing to see, and I will forever be grateful for what you have given me. I couldn’t have made it here without you.
Taylor: For being a great friend. You’ve understood, listened, cared, and shared so much with me since the Olympics. You got me through one of the hardest times in my life, and I will be forever grateful for that.