“It was a fake temple—no, not fake exactly. But it became corrupt,” Ms. Minakami said. “It made people move away from our street, and it made people hunt down the returned spirits.”
They pointed fingers and said, “Child of Kimyō Temple!” Even I might do that, if I knew someone had paid money to rig a second chance at life.
“And at some point, the statuette disappeared from Kimyō Temple Alley. Spirits stopped coming back to life. My ancestors were on the side that helped snuff out the returned ones,” said Ms. Minakami. “My family believed that the statuette needed to disappear. They believed that Kimyō Temple had no place in this world. They told their children to hide its history and to keep watch, so it would never be misused again.
“They worried that it would come back—probably because they didn’t know if the statuette was really gone. I learned this from my parents. I didn’t believe it. Who, honestly, would believe it?” Ms. Minakami said. “I figured that even if Kimyō Temple once existed, the statuette was burned in the anti-Buddhist movement.”
She looked at me as if to say, But now I know …
“My ancestors hid the statuette,” I told her.
“I thought as much when you said you were researching Kimyō Temple. I was shocked! The neighborhood association president, the priest at Ryūseiji, and I—we’ve all tried to keep Kimyō Temple a secret for years! We try not to let the young folks find out. If we discovered a returned spirit among us, we would snuff it out, too, I’m pretty certain. We see it as our duty. Until recently, though, I figured your family also helped to eliminate the ghosts.”
“My ancestors may have done that,” I said, “but I think they believed that Kimyō Temple had a place in this world.”
Uncle Junichi believed that. And I believed it. At this moment, I was speaking as a bearer of the Sada name.
“Well, there you have it,” said Ms. Minakami. “Our thinking is different. My beliefs and your beliefs—that is to say, your ancestors’ beliefs—are different.”
I nodded to agree.
“Not much we can do about that.” Ms. Minakami nodded too.
“So would you please give me the statuette back?” I said.
“What statuette?” Ms. Minakami said, all innocent.
She had zero plans to admit that she had taken the Buddha. She was going to treat it like a myth, to the bitter end.
“My family has a right to its beliefs. Please return it.”
“I wouldn’t take things from your house, young man.”
Ms. Minakami shook her head and looked at me peculiarly. Her eyes had the same disconcerting stare as Kiriko’s.
I didn’t know what more to say. I was the bad one—the one who had failed to protect the statuette. Still, I battled to the last:
“You’re despicable,” I yelled, “A criminal!”
“That statuette belonged to all families in Kimyō Temple Alley,” Ms. Minakami replied. “It even circulated to my own family, generations ago. I know this only through stories, but I’m just saying. Anyway. Kazu, it was with your family quite long enough. You stopped circulating it as you should, and now it has landed in the Minakami household. You may as well think of it like that.”
Ms. Minakami grinned widely. She had as good as told me that she had the Buddha, but there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t search the premises.
“What do you plan to do with it?” I asked.
“If I even have it, you mean. Hmm, let’s see. What could I do? Since I don’t believe it should exist, I could throw it away. Then again, it might still have power. I wonder if I could burn it the way they do outdated amulets.”
“What!” I shouted.
“If I even have it, I’m saying,” she said back. “But if the statuette were destroyed, I wonder what would become of the people who returned? The people who came back decades ago? Their children, and their grandchildren? I wonder what would happen to them?”
She furrowed her brows. Uncle Junichi had told me that the returned spirits could be snuffed out if the statuette were destroyed. Ms. Minakami obviously thought the same thing. “I suppose if the statuette left this world, then those who’ve returned would leave this world too,” she said. She rubbed her arm as if she had goose bumps.
“If there were people who had come back … Kazu, do you know any?”
I nearly nodded.
“Well, I’m not asking you to tell me,” she said. “I have no need to know. After all, those people would change or disappear anyway!”
She planned to burn the statuette! She might have done so already! My mind raced.
“Did you burn it?” I asked.
She didn’t answer clearly. I panicked.
“H—how? How could you do such a thing? To people who’ve come all this way back, who are finding joy and magic in every little thing—” I stood up without realizing it.
“Well, now, you’re right. They did come all this way. It seems fair to let them enjoy it while they still can. Even I am not a monster, you know.” Ms. Minakami gave a modest smile for show.
While they still can? What was she saying? Was there still time?
“You haven’t burned it yet then, have you?” I said.
“Now listen, Kazu-kun. How could I burn something I don’t have?” she replied.
I couldn’t take it anymore. “Just tell me!!” I yelled.
“OK, you’re right. It won’t be tomorrow. Even I don’t know exactly when. Three days from now? A week? It’s only a legend after all.”
Was she declaring that even though the statuette had disappeared, it wouldn’t be destroyed right away?
“I wonder what those ghosts wish to do with their second chance?” she went on. “I hope it’s something that won’t disturb other people. There are spirits who want to do bad things, you know—spirits who’ve frightened people, cursed them, sought revenge … it’s awful! Though I suppose you can’t wipe out grudges.” She nodded as if even she could sympathize.
Then she said, “Well, I’ll see you later.”
I heard Ms. Minakami’s voice below me. That’s when I knew I was standing.
She was telling me to leave. Kiriko had curled into a ball in the corner of the sofa and was no longer even looking at me. I got angry, but I worried for Akari. I wondered if she had any time left. I wondered if she had already disappeared before she could do much of anything with her second chance.
I zoomed from Minami Heights to Akari’s place.
Her house was still there, so maybe she had not vanished. But a house was one thing, Akari another. I couldn’t remember if the house had really been there before Akari showed up.
Without thinking, I pressed the doorbell.
“Co-oming!” sang a voice. She was there!
“It’s Kazu. Kazu Sada!” I shouted.
The door opened. No one stood there.
I froze. My panicked brain was no longer responding.
“Hello, Kazu! Did you come to see Akari?” A voice spoke from above me and to one side.
It was Akari’s invisible mother. I’d forgotten about her until I heard her speak. I no longer felt remotely in my right mind, but I processed that if her mother was still here, Akari must still be around too.
“Uh. Uhmm.” I wasn’t sure which way to look, so I stared in the direction Invisible Mama’s voice had come from and forced myself to smile. “Is Akari at home?”
“She went to the bookstore. Something about having to write a book report for summer homework. Have you decided on your book, Kazu?”
“Umm, was that an assignment?” I had forgotten.
“Oh, Kazu, that’s so like you!” Invisible Mama began to laugh.
I shivered. It seemed as if she knew me from way before too.
“I’ll go look for Akari at the bookstore,” I said.
I planned to peek inside the store and see if Akari was all right. I knew I couldn’t relax until I saw her and her red baubles with my own eyes.
“I think sh
e went to the store in M building,” Akari’s mom said. “We stopped at the one on the way back from the Kannon temple yesterday, but they didn’t have what she was looking for.”
“OK, I understand. Thank you!” I said. I directed my words to roughly where I thought she would be. Invisible Mama was friendly.
Akari hadn’t gone to two bookstores in Minami Ōdori, but to the M building near our train station, which has lots of businesses inside, including a used bookstore.
She hadn’t disappeared yet. Now I needed to know what she wanted to do with the time she had left. She might not have long. She had come all this way, and I wanted her to feel at least a little bit glad she had returned.
I stopped by my house and grabbed my bike. I pointed it toward the station and had just started to pedal when I saw red baubles heading my way. It was Akari. She really hadn’t disappeared!
“Akari! He-e-y, Akari!” I was so relieved that I called to her loudly.
“Oh, Kazu-kun.”
Akari saw me and stood still, making a strange face. I jumped off my bike in front of her. I must have had a crazed expression.
I wanted to apologize, saying, “I’m sorry. I let somebody steal the statuette!” But I swallowed the words.
If her true identity stayed secret, and no one called her a child of Kimyō Temple, maybe she could live for a little while. Or so it seemed. I only knew about Kimyō Temple through hearsay. I didn’t know anything for sure. Even Ms. Minakami had been vague. All of it was conjecture. Maybe it was better not to say a word about the temple or the statuette. If I said something the wrong way, after all, Akari could lose everything. What should I say? Again, I’d rushed into everything too quickly. I needed to look before I leaped. I sighed.
“So, umm.” In the end, that was what came out of my mouth. Totally lame.
“Umm,” Akari echoed. She probably wondered what I could possibly want.
She turned bright red.
Oh no! She had the wrong idea. She thought I was about to tell her I liked her. What a mess.
“Umm, sorry. It’s not that. It’s …” I had no clue what to say. “Anyway, do you want to go someplace cooler? Maybe the Kannon temple grounds?”
“OK.”
I started to push my bicycle, Akari walking beside me.
I had forgotten we were in front of Takamatsuya, Yūsuke’s store. My brain had shut off.
When your timing is bad, everything else gets even worse. Who should come out of the Takamatsuya alley just then, but the boy who should have been in bed with a tummy ache. Yūsuke glanced over, took one look at me and Akari, and jumped to conclusions.
“Oh. Kazu, Akari.”
I couldn’t take this anymore. I no longer cared what happened.
“Is your stomach better? See you later then,” I said. I waved my hand and moved on.
Yūsuke’s face was priceless. It gave “thunderstruck” a whole new meaning.
Akari and I headed to the temple grounds.
It really did seem like I’d asked her on a date. I’d never gone out with a girl before. This was my first time. Hmm, my very first date was with a ghost. In the heat I began to wither like dried-up grass. Maybe “freeze up” is more the term.
I looked around, hoping I wouldn’t see anyone I knew in the temple yard, but I only saw a grandmother playing with her grandchild.
Akari and I sat on a bench under a tree. Next to me, Akari blushed and began to sweat. Honestly, it would have been easier just to say, “I like you.”
Settle down! I told myself. I breathed deeply. I had to let Akari know that the statuette was gone. Tell her that her life might fade away. But I had no idea where to start. I sighed out loud for the zillionth time.
Akari stole a look at me, but after that she smiled and watched the little girl, who was about three years old, jumping and splashing in the ritual handwashing area. For a moment, I thought Akari looked more like a grandma than a girl. Wait a minute, that’s right, I thought. If she had lived, she wouldn’t quite be a grandma yet, but she would be a middle-aged woman. She was ten years old now, but her eyes looked different from mine and the other kids. She seemed to take pleasure in whatever she saw. Akari had come back to life! She had problems, sure, but everything she saw and heard and felt must seem so interesting, so exciting—she must hardly be able to stand it!
I had no clue how to apologize to her. I wanted to think carefully before I spoke. At the same time, I had to get out of this odd situation, and the sooner the better. I had a dilemma.
“Is there anything you want to do? Anything you want to do right now?” I asked, feeling relieved that I didn’t sound too stupid.
Akari grimaced. She must have expected me to say I liked her.
“Is there anything you want to do? Really!” I persisted.
“I want to become a doctor,” she answered. With her eyes, she followed the little girl as she slipped from her grandma’s hands and ran around.
A doctor. It made sense. Akari had been in the hospital and had probably admired her pediatrician. I nodded to show I understood. But somehow, I had to tell her that she had run out of time to become an adult. And the whole thing was my fault. If I could just come clean to her now, I knew I would feel much better. At the same time, I didn’t know if I had the right to apologize to her—to apologize would be to reveal her true condition. If I did that, Akari might disappear right here and now.
“I—I don’t mean so far in the future. I mean, is there anything you’d like to do at this very moment? Something you have to do, no matter what? Ah, I don’t know how to say it.” I pawed at my hair in frustration.
Akari looked at me questioningly.
I tried again. “Like, uh, if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you want to do today?”
Now I was the one who wanted to vanish.
“What on earth?” Akari tried to laugh as if she had never even considered such a thing.
And then, Akari’s eyes went dark.
CHAPTER SIX
Daisy
“Kazu, you’re not just making conversation, are you?”
Akari’s face crumpled.
I was sure she was about to cry, and I could only sit there paralyzed, opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish.
“I was so happy—I had so many plans, Kazu, I was determined to do my best! But it’s not going to happen, is it?”
Akari practically ground her teeth trying to hold in her disappointment. Then she began to weep quietly.
I had worried about what to do if she cried, but watching her sob silently was so much worse than I had imagined.
Akari had come all this way, and now her hopes were being dashed again. She ought to be sobbing much harder, I thought. She ought to be screaming and stamping her feet and wailing! That would have been easier for me to take.
She had imagined a future where she finished grade school, went on to middle school and high school, graduated from university and became a doctor, got married, and had a family. I had just stomped all over those dreams. Maybe I shouldn’t have spoken. Maybe I should have let her disappear while still believing, still certain that she could live her dreams. Maybe she would have been happier that way. I didn’t think of that until she was right in front of me. I should have considered all this right after I checked on Invisible Mama. I felt like such an idiot—always rushing, always forgetting to think. I wanted to kick myself.
“I didn’t come here to tell you, you know—that,” I said. Silently, I begged Akari to understand. I had no intention of revealing her true nature or snuffing her out with the deadly phrase. I didn’t even want to risk saying the words Kimyō Temple out loud. She didn’t have to fear that from me. But I wasn’t sure if she understood.
Akari wiped her eyes and looked at me searchingly. She considered what I had said.
“The other day at school, I thought, oh no, Kazu knows,” she said. “But I understood. I came back through your house, after all.
“When you poi
nted me out, I thought everything might be all over in just one day. But then it was fine. I was fine. I began to think, maybe I’d make it.”
She was talking about multigrade activity time, when I had ranted that she was a ghost. She had acted like she didn’t notice, but inside she had been panicking. She could stay alive only as long as no one called her a “child of Kimyō Temple”—and as long as the statuette was safe.
“Look, I’m not going to say those words, OK? You can relax about that,” I said.
Akari looked at me with a concerned expression of “so what’s wrong then?”
“But I did do something that amounts to the same thing, Akari. I let someone steal the statuette. Someone who wants to destroy it. I begged for it back, but it didn’t work. The person who stole it might even burn it. I am so sorry. You came all this way! I feel awful.”
This time I started to cry, which surprised me.
Akari looked at me and said, simply: “So, it’ll be soon.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. I don’t know when, exactly. But soon. I don’t think you’ll have time to become a doctor, Akari. So … if you assume there won’t be a tomorrow, is there anything—”
“I’m the one who’s sorry, Kazu.”
“You have nothing to apologize for!” I said.
“But you cried, Kazu, and it’s my fault.” She seemed to feel horrible.
“What I feel doesn’t matter at all, Akari. What do you want to do? If there’s anything I can do to help, I will!”
I scolded myself that this was no time to sit here blubbering. The only one who had any right to cry was Akari.
“I’ve been so happy that I’ve really only thought about my future,” she muttered, dazed. “I really can’t think of things I want to do right now.”
I was disappointed, but I knew that what Akari said made sense. A ghost who wanted to identify her murderer or haunt her former lover was the stuff of movies and rakugo. Akari was ten when she died, and she had been in the hospital for most of her life. Her wish must simply have been to come back healthy.
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