by Rue Allyn
The feeling slammed through her. Did she love him? And if she did, what would it mean to her plans for her life? Feeling even more mired in indecision and doubt, Kara fought the tears welling up in her eyes. Staring out at the pasture without really seeing anything, she tried to get her wayward emotions under control.
“Kara? Are you all right?”
She whirled around, surprised to see Maria at her side. She had been so deep in thought she hadn’t even heard her approach.
“Yes … no.” She dropped her head into her hands, the tears falling unchecked. “God, I don’t know.” She looked up, feeling Maria’s arms circle her shaking frame.
“Mija.” Maria rubbed her back. “What is it? Has someone hurt you?”
“No … no, it’s nothing like that.” Kara dragged the back of her hand across damp cheeks, sniffled, and gave Maria a weak smile. “I’m just being silly.”
“I don’t think it’s silly.” Maria said. “I think your feelings for Lord Stoneham are causing you this unhappiness.”
“What feelings?” Kara tried to deny, while desperately wanting to unburden herself to her friend. She was so embarrassed by her lack of control. “What makes you think I have any feelings for him?”
“Please.” Maria called her bluff. “Anyone with eyes in their head can see you have feelings for him. Your eyes follow his every move.” She lifted her hand to stop any denials. “And he is even worse. The way he looks at you positively gives me shivers.”
“Why?” Kara was aware of Hawke watching her, but was surprised to hear Maria had also noticed.
“Are you joking?” Maria stared at her incredulously. “He looks at you and the air vibrates. It’s like it’s all he can do to keep his distance from you. He’s as hot-blooded as any of the caballeros I’ve ever met. He wants you, everyone sees it, I think even your father is aware of his desire.”
Kara groaned. If he had any idea the two had made love … she couldn’t even imagine what he would do. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control.
“What is wrong? You are attracted to him, verdad?” Maria cocked her head in question. “He wants you. You want him. I would be surprised if Lord Stoneham did not ask your father for permission to marry you.”
Kara felt the blood draining from her face at her words. There was that word again. Marry!
“What is wrong? He is a fine man. Why would you not want to marry him if you love him?”
“That’s just it Maria,” Kara finally managed to reply. “I don’t know. Things have happened so fast, I don’t know if I love this man, and I certainly don’t know how he feels about me.” It was difficult, but Kara managed to tell Maria about the night in town and how she had been too afraid to face him after.
“But you must speak with him. You must know how he feels and what he will do next. Oh, Kara,” Maria grasped Kara’s cold hands. “You must.”
“But if he does want to marry, he’ll take me away from here.” Her heart cracked at the thought of leaving the ranch and everything she knew and loved. “Women go to their husbands homes, not the other way. I can’t,” she cried. “No matter how I might feel for him, I know this is the only home I’ve ever wanted.”
Determination coursed through her, ending her tears and stiffening her spine. “Why? Can you answer me why women must give up all our other dreams just because we marry? It just isn’t fair, Maria, and if I have to choose between living my life the way I want … . ” A pain pierced her heart as she thought of the choices she was having to make and how unfair it seemed.
“Do not make any hasty choices,” Maria cautioned. “You do not know his heart. He may not make you leave your home. Maybe he is the type of man who will let you follow your other dreams.”
“You don’t understand. He is a nobleman with properties and responsibilities far from here. His wife will be expected to live where he decides … not where she might want.” Grim determination clouded her voice. “I know what I have to do — I have no other choice.”
Kara turned and walked slowly away. A deep sigh escaped as the heaviness around her heart increased. She might love Hawke, she thought, but she knew without reservation she loved the ranch, and it was here she belonged.
Head down, oblivious to all around her, she went into the barn to brush and feed Gally.
Chapter 24
The lightening danced wickedly amongst the clouds rolling ominously over the valley, heavy and black with impending rain. Thunder rolled slow and low across the desert, a light wind carried the scent of rain and dust in the charged air. The setting sun caught between the low dark clouds and the horizon cast a golden haze across the desert floor while lighting the clouds with a hellish red glow.
“Damn glad we decided to head back to the ranch.” Alec looked at the darkening sky. As lightning forked through the clouds, his horse danced nervously beneath him. “I wouldn’t want to be caught out in this when it finally decides to break.”
“Yep, it can be rough out here,” Austin replied, looking at the ground around them, determining where the higher ground lay. “These dry arroyos flood so fast nothing can get out. It’s best not to chance getting caught in one when these big storms blow up. Don’t want to sack my saddle yet.” He grinned lopsidedly. “Too many pretty gals out there.”
Alec laughed companionably with the cowboy. They had formed a friendship during the hunting trip despite Alec’s flirtation with Alicia. Behind them were the other men and the pack animals loaded with the game they had shot. While there had been opportunity to kill more game, the men took no more than could be used at the ranch. Even though he loved hunting, Alec never killed just for a trophy.
He looked over at Hawke, strangely taciturn in his saddle. Thinking about Kara, he supposed with a mixture of resentment and humor. The situation was almost laughable. Alec thought about the morning in the hotel and how absurd it was that he, of all people, would be lecturing Hawke on his moral responsibilities.
Alec had surprised himself. It had always been his policy to not get tangled up with respectable virgins and Hawke had been of a like mind. He knew when they met Kara she was going to be trouble, but he didn’t expect this kind of trouble. He hadn’t foreseen his best friend becoming so enamored he forsook his good sense and slept with the chit.
He could see the tension in Hawke’s shoulders and the intense concentration on his face. Alec had seen that look before, usually when Hawke was working his investments, exploring all angles to get what he wanted at the least cost to himself. Alec brightened. Maybe he was trying to find a way out of this farcical situation. He didn’t want to see his closest companion leg-shackled just because he momentarily lost his head.
“Figuring out how to solve the problem of Miss Jonston without losing your investment or your freedom?”
“Hardly.” Contempt lay heavy in Hawke’s response, causing Alec to sit back in his saddle chastised. “If you must know, I’m trying to determine the best way to convince Kara to marry me while assuring her it’s not because I want the ranch.”
“I realize I may have said something in White Oaks about you and your honor and believing in antiquated credos, but are you sure you know what you are doing?”
“I’m doing the only thing I can,” Hawke replied, his expression unreadable. “At first it was just about honor, but Alec.” His clear gray eyes gazed steadily at his friend. “It’s more than that. I know I will sound foolish and naïve, but I think I am growing to love her.”
Alec was speechless. Looking quickly to assure himself Austin was too far away to hear them, he turned back towards Hawke.
“Have you lost your bloody mind? Love … you must be joking.” Alec desperately looked for any reason to dispute Hawke’s statement. “It’s just because you haven’t had a woman in a long while. You’re confusing lust with love. You’re feeling guilty because she was a virgin.”
“My same thought at first,” Hawke admitted. “But it’s more. I really wouldn’t expect you to understand.” He sm
iled at his friend. “Yet. Your time will come, mark my words.”
“Bite your tongue.” Alec huffed in indignation. “Don’t ever wish your sorry state on me. I’ll not let some little chit twist me around her finger.”
• • •
Kara bent to gather the brushes in the box outside Gally’s stall, her mind occupied with Hawke and her own muddled feelings.
She jerked, feeling a hand settle on her rear. Whirling around, stunned someone would touch her so intimately, she was surprised to see Jeb Black, his arm still outstretched, a leer on his face.
“What do you think you are doing touching me?” she demanded.
Black’s cold unblinking eyes sent a clenching panic deep in her gut.
“I asked you, Mr. Black, what makes you think you can touch me at all, much less in such a … a … ” she struggled trying not to cringe at the mirthless cold smile slowly crossing his mouth.
“Why, Miss Kara,” he drawled slowly, mocking her, his hooded gaze traveling brazenly over her body. Waves of revulsion filled Kara. “You were just bent over in them pants exposing your parts fer any man who had a hankerin’.” He stepped closer, causing Kara to stumble back a step. “And I had a hankerin’.”
Kara felt like a rabbit caught in the deadly gaze of a rattlesnake. Paralyzed by his stare. Horrified she watched as he began rubbing his hand up and down the front of his pants and stepping even closer to her. Her throat went dry and her attempt to scream came out as a whimper.
“Yes, ma’m.” Black continued his bold assessment of her. “I’ve watched you and now I’m going to have myself a piece, you little tease.”
Thunder boomed outside and Kara could see flashes of lightning rend the sky.
“Who do you think you are, parading around in practically nothing, not dressed like a proper lady? Yep, I’ll show you how women like you are treated. Acting all high and mighty, not bothering to look my way. I’m one of the best bronc busters in the territory and all you can do is look at that big foreigner. You know,” he leered, “you’re going to like it while I’m riding between those pretty thighs of yours.”
His smile grew colder as he moved closer. She bumped into the stall door unable to move around him. “Yes, sir, I’m a good bronc rider. Hell, I’m the best.” He boasted as he leaned his face into hers. “And I’m goin’ to ride you till you’re broke real good. Then you’ll be beggin’ for Jeb to mount you. You’ll tame down to my bit jes fine.”
He laughed as he pressed his hand over her mouth and slammed his body against hers, grinding his groin against her pelvis.
Kara almost gagged at the stench. Gally, sensing her fear, began tossing his head, snorting and pawing at the stall.
She struggled, feeling Black’s cold, thin lips on her skin, pushing at his chest and kicking at his legs trying to get a knee up to drop him with a blow.
Black grabbed her long braid, jerking her head back, drawing a cry of pain and bringing tears to her eyes. She could hear her horse kicking his stall, upset by her growing fear.
“Go ahead, bitch,” he snarled, excitement dancing in his eyes. “Fight me. I like it even better.” He reached up and ripped her blouse, grabbing her breast in a vise-like grip with one hand while he let go of her braid to grab her roughly between her thighs.
Anger and desperation mingled with fear. Kara looked for something to fight back with. The thunder boomed louder as the storm grew closer. A hay hook was stuck in a bale of hay set near the stall. If she could just reach it she might be able to get him off her. Black continued rubbing his hand between her thighs and roughly kissing and biting her neck, squeezing her breast even harder. Waves of nausea rose in her throat. She slid her hand along the wall of the stall, groping for the hook. Stretching her arm and fingers as far as they would go, she felt the rough texture of the hay. Her fingers just brushed the smooth iron of the hook. If she could just get a grip on the handle, she thought desperately, oh, God, how was she going to get him off of her.
Black, sensing her movements, looked up just as she got her fingers on the handle.
“Bitch!” He slapped her hard across the face with the back of his hand. Shadows crossed Kara’s mind. She fought to keep from blacking out. With a last burst of energy, she managed to scream, hoping to be heard over the storm.
Black put his hands around her throat, shaking her violently. Kara felt the light slipping from her as the pressure increased. Her lungs were burning. She felt consciousness slip away.
She was free!
Sliding to the barn floor coughing and gasping for air, Kara could hear scuffling feet and a choked cry of pain. She looked up as her vision cleared, and saw Jeb dangling in the air. His hands were locked on Hawke’s large wrist, fighting to stop the other man from crushing his throat.
“I should kill you for the filthy vermin you are,” Hawke growled, fury tightened his features.
• • •
Hawke reveled at the feel of the man’s windpipe slowly collapsing beneath his fingers. They had just ridden up when Kara’s strangled scream came from inside the barn. Leaping from his horse, he encountered the nightmarish scene. Kara’s face was drained of blood and he couldn’t tell if she was still breathing. His fury soared and the world was colored in the red of a raging blood lust.
“Filth,” he spat at the smaller man. “You are only good for crushing beneath my heel. You should never be allowed to sully the dirt decent people walk on.” Black’s face was turning purple. His eyes bulged and his booted feet kicked ineffectually.
“Hawke.”
He looked over. Kara was shaking uncontrollably. He held Black in his grip with the ease of a terrier killing a rat.
“Hawke.”
Turning his head, he looked from Black to Kara.
The shaky whisper cut through the haze of fury wrapped around Hawke’s brain.
She was huddled against the stall, fear and pain etched in her unnaturally pale face and huge midnight eyes.
“Hawke,” the whispered plea came again, caressing his senses, spurring his need to touch her, to reassure himself of her safety and well-being.
Black’s bulging eyes and strangled gasps for air finally reached Hawke’s brain.
“I find you so much as breathing near her again,” his voice low and threatening, “and I promise you, I will finish what I started.” He tossed the smaller man across the barn like he weighed no more than a saddle blanket.
Kneeling beside Kara’s small huddled figure, Hawke gently took her hand, willing her to look at him. He had been so afraid he was too late, seeing her limp beneath the bastard’s hand. His heart ached at the fear and pain reflected in her large luminous eyes. Silent tears coursed down her pale cheeks. Slowly he reached up, gently cupping her face with his hands, wiping the tears from her face with his thumbs. He didn’t hear Alec and Austin enter the barn, his total being focused on the woman in front of him.
“It’s all right, love,” he whispered softly, trying to reassure her, knowing she was in shock. “That scum won’t hurt you. Come with me. You’re safe.”
He gathered her quivering body gently in his arms, pressing her head to his shoulder as he stood; he turned and walked past the other men towards the house.
Hawke kicked open the front door of the house bellowing for Case, Consuelo, or anyone to come.
Case rushed from his study.
“What the hell happened?” he demanded. “Explain yourself, Stoneham. What happened to my daughter?”
He stepped forward to wrest Kara from the younger man’s arms but was abruptly stopped as Kara’s shivering form huddled closer to Hawke’s body.
“I found her in the barn about to be raped by one of your cowboys. Kara was fighting him off but that beast was beating her.”
Consuelo rushed up, concern for her Kara etched in her brown eyes.
“Mija … mija, can you hear me?” she pleaded. “Please mija, it’s me, Consuelo. Please talk to me.”
• • •
Kara lay
listlessly against Hawke’s broad chest. Tremors wracked her body and her mind was locked in a black maze of images and emotions. She clung to the comforting heat cradling her.
She drew further inward. The only safety she felt was in those strong arms holding her. The even pounding of his heart soothed her as she felt an overwhelming rush of exhaustion course through her body. Everything else around her sounded like the angry buzzing of bees.
• • •
“Who was this man?” Case shouted. “Joe!” He turned as his foreman entered the house with Austin and Alec hard on his heels. “Who was it? Who the hell hurt her? He’s a dead man!”
“It was the bronc rider you hired.” Austin stepped around the older man. “Black. Alec and I saw him running from the barn like his backside was on fire. That’s when we saw Kara by the stall.”
“That bastard,” said Joe. “I caught him bothering Kara a while back and warned him not to talk to her again. I should have sacked him then.”
“Damn it, round up some men and track that vermin down. I want him back here now.”
Joe, Austin, and Alec nodded and left to gather a group together to hunt down Black.
“Bring her up to her room, senor.” Consuelo laid a hand on Hawke’s arm directing him towards the stairs. “I will bring her a tea of soothing herbs to help her sleep.”
Case followed Hawke up the stairs, “Thank you for being there, Hawke,” he said softly, “I was so … . ”
“I understand, sir.”
Consuelo hurried in the wake of Hawke’s long strides, bustling around him as they entered Kara’s bedroom. She directed him to place her on the bed where she was busily fluffing the pillows and turning back the spread.
“Here, lass,” he crooned softly in her ear, leaning over to lay her on the bed, “you will be safe here and you can rest.”
Kara’s grip tightened and she refused to release his shirt. Despite more soft words of encouragement, the more he tried to let her down, the more agitated she became.
“Senor Hawke, why don’t you sit with her in the chair for a while,” Consuelo suggested, “perhaps she will calm down and fall asleep.”