by Lily Black
Now he couldn’t remember any part of the incident without disgust. He had initially avoided Alexa when he came back to Willowdale, in part because he felt ashamed of how he’d handled the end of their brief relationship. At first, he’d hoped to find the right moment then have her out for coffee and see if he could smooth things over. But she’d given him so much grief over his school that he soon dropped any notion of making it up to her. Besides, by smearing his name all around town, she’d made him pay for any past wrongs twenty times over.
When she’d hugged him just now, though, he was suddenly aware of a searing fact that he’d managed to ignore all these years. He loved Alexa. He had always loved her.
The fact left him speechless and vulnerable in ways he hadn’t been since… he couldn’t say when. Only a couple of times in his life even came close. In Ranger school, the instructors had pushed him and all the men past their limits, washing good guys out like refuse. In the deep, dark days when chemo had taken a toll on his father, they’d both begun to realize this was one battle they couldn’t win.
But this was different. This feeling of love for her reached deep into the core of his soul. Even scarier, he had no guarantees she would ever love him back. What did he have to offer her? Sure, he was a Ranger, but he knew only too well that some civilians put little stock in that. And anyway, Rangers didn’t have great track records when it came to relationships. He’d also done well for himself, and between his own investments and the inherited estate from his father and granddad, he was well enough off. But Alexa was independent and had not only a bachelor’s degree, but a master’s as well. Even more importantly, she had a refinement and poise to her that gave even her little finger grace.
She could have any guy—even a PhD—and maybe that was what she wanted. The painful past they had between them… what if she never forgave him or loved him back? Did he want to risk his heart to that kind of pain?
He watched Alexa as she smiled and chatted with Dr. Springer. Her arms were cuddled around her cats, and her face glowed with pleasure that they were okay. Drew noticed the sparkle in her eyes and the intelligence in her expression. Clean curves started with the line of her calves and swooped up her figure—as womanly as any guy could ever want—and carried on through the arch of her neck and the way she carried her head. He wanted her, and she would be worth any risk. He knew it.
The challenge was going to be figuring out how to get her to love him back, and not as a summer fling, but for forever. Because if he was going to go after her, he had to do it properly—and first, he had to keep her safe. Second, he had to persuade her to be his willing wife.
Alexa was grateful the ride back to Drew’s house was short. Ragbag had been cooped up much more than usual over the last forty-eight hours, and he clearly wanted out of the cat carrier. Still, Alexa hesitated to open the carrier the minute she got inside Drew’s house. What would he think about having her cats roam all over his place? What if they shredded something priceless that his granddad had left him? The awkwardness of being super polite while staying with him was starting to get under her skin. He was being beyond thoughtful, but she wasn’t sure he saw her as herself and not a damsel in distress or an unfortunate civilian in need of a Special Ops rescue. She wasn’t some mission he could check off his Ranger to-do list. Perhaps she wasn’t being fair to him, but with her emotions all over the place, she longed for a sense of control, to be her own woman again.
Drew came up beside her with the cats’ litter box and food in his arms. “Put the litter in the bathroom and the food in the kitchen?”
“Perfect,” Alexa answered. Ragbag gave a pathetic meow, pleading to get out of the carrier. Alexa pursed her lips. “My cats are house-trained, but in a new environment, there are always ways for them to get into trouble, and Ragbag is still a kitten. I can’t promise—”
“Don’t worry about it.” Drew shrugged off her concern. “I’ll just move anything that becomes a problem to an extra bedroom upstairs and keep the door closed. They’ll be fine.”
Alexa gave him a grateful smile and opened the carrier. She couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone watching her back like this. Drew could have asked for the cats to stay at the vet, especially since he hadn’t signed up to babysit them when he offered to protect her. Instead, he had arranged the cat pickup and was beyond cool about her fur babies running around his house. His attentive care for her cats was sweet and gave her the same cherished feeling she’d had when they dated.
However, she still didn’t entirely trust his motives in offering her his protection. She hadn’t forgotten how fast he turned from hot to cold five years before. The last thing she needed right now was to make herself vulnerable to possible pain from Drew—not with a twisted psycho trailing her every move.
Remembering the smashing sound of the pot thudding onto the pavement, right where her head should have been, Alexa shivered and felt her skin grow cold. She didn’t want to think about it, but it was hard not to think about.
Curling up in a patch of sunshine with her back to the couch, Alexa picked up Fieldgar and settled down to cuddle her biggest fur baby. The orange tabby was happy to snuggle. His rumbling purr immediately quieted Alexa’s shivers but couldn’t quite banish them. Watching the other two cats also helped calm her and brought a smile to her face. Oreo was doing a quick and thorough search of the premises, and Ragbag was frolicking around the black-and-white kitty, pointing out anything Oreo might have missed. After they’d made a circuit of the living room, kitchen, and dining room, they stopped in front of the closed French doors on the far side of the dining room and meowed at Alexa to open them up.
She followed them but glanced around for Drew. This was the entrance to the second wing, on the opposite side of the house from the guest bedroom. She hadn’t been in there yet.
“Go ahead. Open it up,” Drew said, coming through the kitchen to join them. “That’s the library. I’m betting your cats will like it.”
Alexa swung the doors open and stepped in then flicked on a light. What she saw made her suck in a breath and clutch Fieldgar to her chest. It looked like heaven.
The entire wing was one big room, and every wall was lined with beautiful dark bookcases that were filled with books. She’d never seen so many books collected in one place outside of a public library.
Across from her was a brick fireplace and hearth with a love seat and two cozy chairs gathered around it. Sunshine spilled through a pair of patio doors to her right, begging readers to bring a book out and enjoy the sweet little garden she’d seen at the front of the house. It was beautiful—the library of her dreams.
Drew spoke close beside her, his deep voice resonating along her skin. “Shall I get a fire going?”
She nodded, unwilling to trust her voice. The combination of this beautiful library and its sexy owner was just a tad overpowering. She set Fieldgar down and walked farther into the room, browsing along the shelves and smiling when she came across old favorites among the books. She found the collected works of Shakespeare and The Canterbury Tales. But the library didn’t just have the classics. It also had a nice collection of modern fiction novels, ranging from James Paterson thrillers to the Harry Potter books and beyond. She had finished one full circuit by the time Drew had the hearth blazing merrily. She’d gathered a small stack of books to look at too.
Alexa curled up on the love seat beside Oreo, who was watching the flames flicker in the fire. This was nice—and just what her soul needed. “You have a wonderful variety of books,” she told Drew. “Most people who collect books in a library of this kind only go for the classics and their prestigious peers in nonfiction.”
Drew grinned and nudged a log farther into the fire, sending sparks flying. He’d shed his jacket and tugged up the sleeves on his deep-blue turtleneck. “Granddad collected the traditional library fare, but he was also happy to get any books his grandkids wanted to read. I�
��ve used his method in choosing more.”
“And these books? Who added these to the collection?” Alexa held up two of the books she’d found while wandering around the room. The first was Quintessence of Japanese Martial Arts, and the second was The Ancient Martial Arts: A Guide for the Purist.
“Ah, you found my secret stash.” Drew got up from the fireplace and sat beside her on the love seat. He picked up Oreo then resettled her in his lap and started tickling the cat’s chin. “Granddad got the Japanese book for me when I was a teen. I was taking karate and wanted to know more about its history. He knew Dad’s orders would change soon, and that it would mean my leaving the karate school before I could get my black belt. He was hoping staying here over Christmas and studying that book would soften my disappointment.”
Alexa pulled her eyes away from the hypnotic motion of Drew’s hand as he stroked Oreo, and met his eyes. She didn’t know Drew had ever studied the traditional martial arts. “Did it work?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, it helped. The focus of the ancient martial arts was on enlightenment and mastery, not rank advancement. Then I realized that I didn’t care quite so much about getting the formal rank of black belt.”
That also might explain his casual approach to a formal martial arts school, but Alexa didn’t feel like picking a fight with him at that moment.
Oreo stretched out and purred loud enough for Alexa to feel the vibration through the love seat. The kitty caught Drew’s hand with her paws and gave it a thorough cleaning. Drew tugged his hand free and laid his arm across the back of the seat, behind Alexa’s shoulders.
It was such a classic date move—a guy wanting to put his arm around a girl but not sure he could. Alexa would have laughed if it weren’t for the breathless combination of hormone flutters and nerves she felt at having him so close that made her heart speed up. She made a conscious decision to slow down her breathing. Drew wasn’t putting any moves on her. They were just talking.
She forced herself to look back at him, despite the mesmerizing effect of his eyes. “So, what about the other book? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a purist.”
Drew smiled, and she was torn between listening to his response and noticing how close his fingers—the ones petting the cat—were coming to her stockinged foot. “That’s a recent addition. Just because I don’t follow the traditional arts, doesn’t mean I can’t learn from them.”
Alexa swallowed and twitched her foot out of Drew’s reach. “So, you don’t—” Her breath caught behind her teeth.
Drew had captured her foot—the one that hadn’t been banged up—in his hands and was gently massaging the ball. “Your foot was twitching.” He sounded almost apologetic.
She decided not to mention that it was twitching away from him, especially not when his hands felt so good as they soothed the tension from her poor toes.
He was looking down at her foot, so she had a moment to enjoy his profile—his firm but sensuous lips, a good nose and forehead. Why had she never noticed before how intellectual he looked? She’d been thinking all these years of Drew as a thorough military man, all action and solid muscle. How had she missed the side of him that framed his father’s photography, whipped up a gourmet meal, and made regular additions to his grandfather’s library?
She felt something shift inside of her, possibly in the area around her heart, and tried desperately to backtrack onto safe ground. “You don’t have a problem with traditional martial arts?” she asked, her voice coming out a bit huskier than she expected.
Drew glanced up at her and flashed her one of those grins he had, the kind that melted her insides and left her feeling like a breathless schoolgirl. The warm look in his eyes, the way the sweater accentuated his sculpted chest and broad shoulders, coupled with the insistent massaging of his hands… did he know what he was doing to her?
“I know you’ll have a hard time believing this,” Drew was saying. “But I support the traditional martial arts. I’ve studied most of the forms, at least a little, and they all have value.” His fingers shifted to work down Alexa’s foot, making a gentle circular motion on the arch, and she had to bite her lip to keep in a moan. “I can’t set up a school in the traditional arts because my highest rank is brown belt. It’s also my belief that much of what we need today in order to practice effective self-defense is a blending of the traditional arts. I want what I teach to be directly applicable to my students’ lives.”
His fingers captured her other foot, carefully avoiding the sore area on top, and gently prodded at a tight spot on the underside. Alexa tried to pull her brain back into focus, but it felt a lot like trying to roll out of a warm bed on a chilly morning.
Her lips parted, but no words came out. Her eyes settled on Drew’s lips. She would give just about anything to kiss him, to taste his tongue against hers, feel their mouths locked together while her body was enveloped by his.
Drew looked up to meet her gaze, and the intellectual profile was replaced by a sexy, smoldering look. She knew he wanted to kiss her too.
He brought his hand up to trail across her hair, soothing it, then he let it slide down to cup her jaw. Dimly, Alexa was aware of alarm bells going off in the back of her brain, but their sound was muted by the thudding of her heart. Drew leaned in, his deep-brown eyes intent on hers. His lips parted, and their shared breath mingled.
The fire popped—the sound like a gunshot in the quiet room.
Alexa jumped, her body buzzing with nervous anxiety. She slid quickly away from Drew and stood.
Ragbag was checking something out on the floor by the fire, his body in a half crouch. He reached out a paw to bat at whatever it was then jerked his paw back. Alexa saw a wink of red ember.
“Silly kitty,” she said, going to him. “Keep playing with that, and you’re going to get burned.”
She swept up the ember and tossed it back in the fire then turned to face Drew. He sat with his arms stretched out along the back of the couch, his head tilted up to her. He looked so damned sexy—her body ached to join him. But the words she’d spoken just a moment ago to Ragbag circled through her brain. Play with that, and she was just going to get burned.
Alexa wrapped her arms around herself, keeping her feelings in. “Well, I’m off for bed.” The cheerful voice she was going for came out a little too forced, and she modulated it to a more normal tone. “Thanks for helping with the cats and for being cool with their coming here. I really appreciate it.”
Drew nodded, his shoulders making a small shrug. “They’re welcome anytime, just as you are.”
Alexa just stood there, not sure how to respond, not sure if she trusted herself. How had she gone from hating this man to almost kissing him in two days?
Drew rose, his body moving with the same fluid grace she’d admired when he changed her tire. He spoke pleasantly, as if they hadn’t been inches apart just moments ago. “I set out food and water for the cats in the kitchen. Do they need anything else?”
She shook her head. “No, they’ll be fine.”
“Do you need anything?” Drew closed the screen on the fireplace. “I could throw together a bedtime snack if you like.”
A flippant comment about him as her bedtime snack flitted across Alexa’s brain, but she shook the thought aside. Next, she would be offering him the keys to Crouching Tiger and asking if he would like her to pose naked on the floor of the dojo. Speaking of which, what was that he’d said when he was distracting her with a foot massage? About wanting what he taught to have practical use in his students’ lives?
She felt her face heat with anger this time instead of hormones. His statement was out of line, implying that Crouching Tiger didn’t teach skills with practical uses in students’ lives! He’d just snuck in that bit of brainwashing while she was distracted and wouldn’t protest, hadn’t he? Was that his game? Because the more she thought about it, the more she suspected he was using h
er, or at least playing with her. He had to have known what he was doing when he touched her foot like that. Next, he would be asking her to help with his school open house, and that would be the end of her having a mind of her own where martial arts were concerned.
He finished with the fire and turned toward her, a questioning look on his face, and she realized she still hadn’t answered him. He probably thought she was considering an invitation to her bed. Not!
“I’m fine, thanks.” Her voice was flat and cold. She bent to scoop up Ragbag and headed out of the room before she could say something she would regret. Oreo and Fieldgar followed her from the library and trailed her across the house to the guest bedroom.
The room was a bit chilly, so Alexa pulled an extra blanket off the stack in the closet and spread it over the bed. Her body ached for a more satisfying way to warm the bed, but the quilt would do. She’d come close to falling under Drew’s spell. This beautiful house and its cozy rooms were just the right backdrop, and he was turning on all his charms.