by Scott Blum
“Good morning,” Peter laughed. “I’m Peter, and this is Miranda—we’re pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“Nice to meet you—I’m Robert, and this is Don,” Robert said while gesturing to the puppy.
“When does this place open?” asked Peter.
Don looked around to remind himself of where they had spent the night. Everything came back to him as he read the large sign at the top of the building that said: ANTIQUES.
“It says it’s closed Sundays,” yelled Miranda, who had crossed the parking lot to look at the store more closely. “I guess we’re out of luck.”
Peter shrugged and said, “Oh well. I guess we don’t need any more furniture anyway. So what are you doing here, Robert? Why are you sleeping in the parking lot?”
“Our car … died,” said Robert. “Just trying to figure out what to do next.”
At that moment, two police cars sped toward Hellgate Canyon with their sirens blaring loudly.
“Where are you from?” Robert raised his voice over the sound of the sirens.
Miranda rejoined Peter and responded, “We’re from Portland. You?”
“Eugene,” replied Robert, and with that, Don whimpered softly. Hearing Robert say the name of his hometown was strangely disturbing.
“We like Eugene,” said Miranda. “We go to the Oregon Country Fair every year.”
In all the years he had lived there, Don had only been to the Country Fair twice. Both times he went with Suzanne, and although they had enjoyed it, they began to resent all the hippies who took over Eugene once a year.
“Where are you headed?” asked Peter.
“South,” Robert said after a long pause.
“When’s your car going to be fixed?”
“It’s beyond repair,” Robert laughed. “We just left a note to have it towed to the nearest junkyard.”
“That’s too bad,” said Peter.
“Maybe we should see Hellgate Canyon before we leave,” Miranda changed the subject.
“It’s not very interesting,” interjected Robert.
“We were there yesterday—it’s just a bunch of rocks and trees. We were quite disappointed.”
Peter and Miranda walked toward their car while talking to each other discreetly. After several seconds of whispering, Peter stepped forward and announced, “We can give you a ride as far as Ashland if you want.”
“That would be great,” replied Robert. “When are you leaving?”
“I guess soon. Other than Hellgate Canyon, this was the only place left we wanted to see. And with your glowing review, I guess we don’t need to go there.” Peter laughed again and winked at Miranda. “I’m ready to go. Are you ready, dear?”
“Sure,” Miranda responded. “How about you two?”
“Absolutely,” said Robert. “Let’s get out of here.”
The four of them got into the couple’s silver sedan, and they started heading back toward the freeway. Peter was driving and Miranda sat in the front passenger seat. Robert and Don were in the backseat, scrunched between a pile of suitcases and duffle bags.
“Sorry about the room back there,” said Miranda. “We’re going for a weeklong retreat in Ashland, and then we’ll be heading down to Mount Shasta for a week after that. Two weeks of clothes is a lot to pack.”
Robert nodded.
“Oh dear, where’s your luggage?” Miranda asked. “Did we leave it back at the antique store?”
“No,” said Robert. “We’re traveling light. We’ll pick something up when we settle somewhere.”
“Oh. That’s the best way. If I could buy new clothes in every town we went to, I definitely would.”
“Miranda loves clothes.” Peter laughed loudly for several seconds.
“Which retreat are you two going to?” asked Robert.
“It’s absolutely fascinating—we’re going to an embodiment retreat,” Miranda answered.
“Embodiment? What’s that?”
“It’s rather involved, but the short answer is that it’s about being fully in your body so you can live a more authentic life.”
“Most people leave their bodies whenever things get difficult,” added Peter.
“Yes, that’s true—trauma, abuse, that sort of thing,” continued Miranda, turning around in her seat so she could face her passengers. “For example, when you experience severe emotional stress, you have a built-in defense mechanism that allows you to temporarily leave your body, or shut down a part of yourself, to give you a break from the pain. And after years of doing this, many of us get used to living outside our bodies because it seems to be easier to remain disconnected from ourselves than to stay connected with each of the three spirit bodies that are designed to live inside of us.”
“This is important,”Robert said to Don telepathically. “I’m familiar with what she’s talking about, and I think this will help you a lot. Let me know if you have any questions, and I’ll ask her for you.”
“Spirit bodies?” asked Robert for Don’s benefit. “There are more than one?”
“Yes, our soul is made up of three spirit bodies that all work together. They are our spirit of awareness, spirit of emotion, and spirit of physical sensation.”
“Okay…”
“And when these three spirit bodies are fully activated within our soul, we naturally integrate fully with our human body, and that’s what we call embodiment.”
“Could you explain more about the three spirit bodies?” Robert again voiced Don’s question.
“Of course. Awareness is the part of us that is conscious of ourselves and the world around us. It allows us to learn and remember things that make our lives easier and more productive. Many of us can relate to our spirit of awareness through our mental capacity.”
“You mean awareness is thinking?”
“That’s part of it, but it includes spiritual awareness as well. It is about knowing on all levels, not just intellectually. Do you understand?”
“I think so,” Robert said while looking at Don. “Tell me about the other two qualities.”
“Sure. Emotion is the most complex of the three spirit bodies, even though it has the clearest of jobs. Basically, emotions are simply for our protection and nothing else. And in order to accomplish such a noble goal, they are in perpetual motion, attempting to balance the signals they are sending to us by constantly counteracting themselves with even more emotions.”
“Emotions are for protection. How does that work?”
“It’s simple if you think about it. Let’s say a car is coming right at you while you’re walking across the street. Your emotions will release fear to get you to jump out of the way. Now the problem we have is that we can easily get too much of a good thing—a little goes a long way. For example, if we get addicted to an emotion like fear, it can easily debilitate us and prevent us from doing anything productive. And although fear is a wonderful emotion, too much can be quite traumatizing.”
“No wonder people want to deaden their emotions. It seems exhausting to be in a constant balancing act.”
“When there is a need to be protected, our emotions are in constant motion. However, when we are still, our emotions are still, also. The beauty is that all of them come from a single emotion— love. And when we stay connected to our emotions, we are filled with love throughout our entire being. It’s that love that makes us feel safe, content, and happy.”
“But why do you say that our ‘physical sensation’ is a part of our soul? Most spiritual practices teach us that we should become detached from our physical body. In fact, that’s the very goal of many of them. Isn’t our physical sensation obviously part of our physical body?”
“Our soul is the part of us that’s infinitely alive. The human body, the part that you and I see, is simply a container for our spirit and is only alive in a very limited way. And although the human body obviously has receptors in it—for example, taste buds—the sensation itself is felt by our soul. And when there’s a discon
nect between the two, that’s when things can happen to our human body that we can’t actually feel.”
“You mean when we go into shock after severe pain?”
“Yes, that’s a good example.”
“So what’s the point of having physical sensation from a spiritual perspective? It seems pointless.”
“Ah, but it’s not. Physical sensation gives us pleasure, and that pleasure gives us motivation to live a fulfilling life here on Earth. Whether it’s feeling a caress on our cheek, eating a delicious meal, or listening to a beautiful song, our physical sensations are the gifts the universe gives us in order to stay motivated to continue our work. Therefore, when we deaden our physical sensation, we become depressed because we are no longer rewarded for being here. And unfortunately, that’s something I know a lot about.”
“It sounds like you know a lot about all this stuff,” said Robert. “How do you know so much about embodiment if you haven’t been to the retreat yet?”
“We’ve been before. Next week is level-two teacher training—we’ve already completed level one.”
“And what got you interested in this work?”
“The same thing that motivates most therapists: I was severely damaged and wanted to heal myself—”
“That’s an understatement,” interrupted Peter.
“I was physically abused as a little girl,” continued Miranda. “After nearly forty years of depression—and fifteen as a practicing psychotherapist—this work helped me realize that one of my biggest problems was that I had cut myself off from my physical sensation many years ago.”
“How did you realize that?” Robert asked.
“From the embodiment exercises. I can show you one if you want—we can do it here in the car.”
“Can Don do it, too?”
“I’ve never led a dog through the work before,” Miranda replied. “But it should be okay if he can understand me.”
“Don’t worry about that,” said Robert. “He can definitely understand you.”
“Okay,” Miranda said, shrugging her shoulders. “Both of you sit up straight.”
Don sat up on the seat and instantly became nervous about what would happen next. He trusted Robert, but wasn’t sure about this other person. She seemed nice but a little too happy.
“First close your eyes and find the absolute center of your head. It will be between your ears, and between the forehead and the back of your head.”
Don closed his eyes and tried to find the center, mentally rocking side to side within his head. After a while he noticed that he was physically moving as well.
“Be patient,” Miranda whispered in a calming voice. “You will know you’re getting close when you can see a bright light in your mind’s eye. Just move to the precise center within the middle of your head.”
Don began to see a light glowing in the darkness of his mind.
“Just move slowly until you become engulfed by the light.”
At that very instant, Don connected to the light, and with an electric flash, its energy traveled down his spine and throughout his entire core. All of a sudden, he was acutely aware of himself, and it was almost as if he could think with his entire body.
“That’s great!” Miranda exclaimed. “Do you feel that?”
Don was startled that Miranda could apparently sense what was going on in his head. He was just starting to get used to Robert invading his thoughts, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle someone else knowing what went on in his inner world.
“Now stay grounded in your awareness,” Miranda continued, “and begin to breathe into your head—into that very light that you’re inside of right now. Breathe deeply through your nose, and let the nourishing breath travel from your lungs to your awareness in one graceful movement. Nourish your awareness with each breath.”
Don was initially skeptical about the idea of breathing into anywhere but his lungs; however, he was surprised by how easy it was once he stopped thinking about it. By breathing very slowly and controlling his breath so it flowed in and out in a single continuous motion, he could direct it to the center of his head. With every inhale, the breath seemed to fill his head with energy, and with every exhale, the energy seemed to calm and settle without going away. After several breaths, he found it remarkably relaxing.
“Good,” Miranda said after letting the silence settle around them. “It seems like both of you are very connected to your awareness. Your mental faculties are quite developed. Let’s move on to your emotions.”
Don tensed up and immediately lost the connection to his awareness. He never liked the word emotions, and he felt uncomfortable when Miranda said it.
“Keep your eyes closed, and concentrate on your emotional center, which is located in the middle of your chest beneath the center of your sternum. Concentrate on this area until you come to a pool of emotion, which will feel like pure love, bliss, or joy.”
Don had a much more difficult time locating this area and mentally tried to move to different places in his chest to find it.
“Don, try shifting your concentration toward the back of your spine—you are too far forward. You’re concentrating at least six inches in front of your body.”
Don tried to concentrate farther toward the back of his spine but still couldn’t connect to anything resembling emotion, let alone love or bliss. He was used to avoiding all of the sensations in his chest and abdomen because of the cancer. And even though he was in a new body, he was still unable to connect with it.
“That’s it!” Miranda exclaimed. “Very good, Robert—you’ve connected with your emotional center. It’s not as developed as your awareness, but if you continue to practice, you will be able to fill yourself with even more love.”
Don was annoyed that Robert had connected with his emotions before he did. He knew it wasn’t a competition, but there was something about Robert doing it first that irked him.
“Now, Don, you still need to move back farther. I know it seems scary, but being in your body is nothing to be afraid of. I understand there was a very good reason for you to disconnect from your emotions—I’m sure it was very painful. But now it’s safe. Just relax and concentrate a few inches more toward the back of your spine.”
Miranda’s words had a calming effect on him— then he began to feel dizzy, as if he was moving backward and forward at the same time. When his movement came into focus, he felt a sensation like a warm liquid dripping slowly from the center of his chest and into his belly.
“There you go,” Miranda said softly. “Doesn’t that feel nice?”
Don was astonished by how comforted he felt. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced in many years, yet it surprised him how familiar it was.
“You both need to regularly practice connecting to your emotions,” she continued. “It will become much easier the more you do. Are you ready to move on to your physical sensation?”
For some reason Don felt exhausted, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.
“Okay, this is the last one. I know these exercises are difficult, but it’s important to also connect to your physical sensation to balance yourselves.”
Don grunted out loud to indicate he was wornout. It was surprising how tiring it was to be in his body.
“Concentrate on the area about an inch and a half below your navel. This is the center of your physical sensation. But just like the other parts of your spirit body, it actually permeates your entire being. See if you can feel the energy of your physical sensation.”
By this point, Don was familiar with the pro-cedure and quickly focused his attention on the area beneath his navel. Immediately he began to get uncomfortable, and shortly after, Robert vocalized what they were both feeling.
“I feel … shy,” Robert said after a long pause.
“Unfortunately, that’s a pretty common reaction by people living in today’s society. Our physical center is directly connected to our sexuality, and over the years we are taught to be embar
rassed of our bodies—especially as it relates to sexuality.”
Don began to squirm, and although he was starting to appreciate the value of these exercises, he really didn’t like this one at all. “Embarrassed” was an understatement. Since his mother had died, he hadn’t had any role models for how couples were supposed to show affection toward each other. And other than an occasional pat on the back, his father had seldom touched him. It had taken Don several years not to retreat whenever Suzanne approached him with a hug. But now his embarrassment was taken to an entirely new level—while he was concentrating on his physical sensation, he realized for the first time since he’d entered his new body that he was … naked.
“The good news,” continued Miranda, “is that you’re both feeling it. It will take some practice to be able to tune in to the pleasures of physical sensation without feeling guilty or embarrassed; but at least there doesn’t seem to be any serious blockages like what I had to deal with. For the first several months of trying to tune in to my own physical sensation, I couldn’t feel a thing. My childhood abuse disconnected me from the physical aspect of my spirit so completely that it took many sessions of concentrated embodiment therapy before I could feel it at all.”
Don felt sorry for Miranda. He had gone through many trials in this lifetime, but thankfully he never had to deal with being physically abused as a child.
“Now I want you both to slowly open your eyes and continue to breathe deeply. See if you can remain integrated with your spirit body while your eyes are open.”
Don gradually opened his eyes and felt an unusual sensation when Miranda and the inside of the car came into focus. It appeared as if everything was much farther away and the car was much larger.
“Everything seems far away now,” Robert said aloud.
“That’s because you are finally back in your bodies. You both were living several inches in front of them, which is quite common. But now you are much more integrated, which is why everything seems farther away.”