by BJ Wane
“Oh, I… yes, I’m glad I’m available to help,” Julie stammered in a lame attempt to explain her presence behind the counter. She held her breath when she heard Jackson’s voice in the hall seconds before the door opened behind her. The abrupt silence drew her head around and she returned his quizzical look with a sheepish smile. “Good morning. Mrs. Anderson is here to pick up Bobo. Her son’s been worried.”
“Let me get the meds for Tiger here first then I’ll go get Bobo.” Winking at the teary eyed little boy, Jackson knew what to say to calm his worries. “He’s a real trooper but missed you too. Why don’t you go on back to the kennel room and give him that biscuit I see in your hand? Your mom knows the way.”
“Oh, thank you, Doctor.” The relieved mother and her now smiling son were quick to take him up on his offer.
Jackson nodded then turned his dark blue gaze on Julie. “Would you mind helping me a minute?” He spun around, expecting her to follow him. From that look, Julie didn’t hesitate to hasten behind him, her heart clutching and her hands growing clammy at the thought of him telling her to leave.
From the set of keys he unclipped from his waist, he inserted one into the last door at the end of the hall and pushed it open, flipping on the overhead light before shutting it behind her. “Since when are you a receptionist?” he growled, unhappy with the way she’d made herself at home in his clinic. How could he push her away if he appreciated her timely assistance, and with that haunting gaze clinging to him?
“Since you need one. All I did was look up Bobo’s records and tell them what you wrote, that he could go home this morning. I’m sorry if I upset you, Jackson. I was just trying to help.”
He didn’t like her pale face any more this morning than he had last night, and now he had to contend with the hurt he was responsible for in those dark eyes. “You took me by surprise, is all. The woman I remember, the last time I saw you, wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help out with something menial like office work.” She flinched at his blunt reminder, but he thought it best if neither of them lost sight of why they hadn’t spoken or seen each other in so long.
“People change, you believe that, don’t you?” she asked softly, the hope flaring in her eyes impossible to miss.
“Yes, but not always for the better. Look, I have a busy day.” Jackson turned to the locked medicine cabinet against the wall and opened it with another key, not wanting to look at her as he spoke. “I don’t have time to visit with you. Maybe we can get together after my fundraiser, which is coming up in ten days. I should have more spare time then.” Pulling out pain meds, he re-locked the cabinet then turned back around, hoping she got the hint. From the determined glint in her eyes, a look he hadn’t seen since she’d arrived last night, he guessed she got it and planned to dismiss it, or fight it. That last thought stirred his libido, much to his annoyance.
“No, not always for the better, but everyone makes mistakes, and most people learn from them.” Julie swiveled and walked out of the storage room, tossing over her shoulder as she headed back to the reception area, “The phone’s ringing. I’ll get it, since you have your hands full.”
A reluctant grin tugged at his mouth as Jackson followed her, his eyes glued to the twitch of her ass in a pair of butt-hugging jeans. Damned if her long legs and firm little butt didn’t fill out the pair of denims in an enticing way. He had to wonder at the long, loose-sleeved blouse covering her arms, since the temperature still rose to the mid to upper eighties this time of year. She’d worn a different top last night, but it too was long sleeved. Since she didn’t appear to be in a hurry to take off and he seemed to lack the wherewithal to shove her out the door, he may have the time to discover what brought about the minor changes, such as her clothing preferences, and the major ones, like leaving her lucrative career.
SHUTTING DOWN THE COMPUTER, Julie stood and stretched, accidentally knocking the stack of mail the postman had delivered inside to the floor. As she scooped it up, the name on the envelope that landed on top of the pile caught her attention. E. Davenport. The only relative of Jackson’s whose name began with E was his mother, Evelyn. The Macon, Georgia, return address told her Evelyn had been released from the Florida women’s penitentiary near Ocala. Julie wondered if Jackson’s attitude toward his only living parent had changed over the years, but her welcome and stay here remained too tenuous for her to risk bringing up such a bitter subject. Taking the time to run the mail upstairs and leave it on the kitchen counter where he couldn’t miss it, she dashed back down to the clinic to straighten up the reception room.
As a model, she’d spent her days on her feet and in constant motion, following the rapid-fire instructions of whatever photographer was snapping his camera at her. The days she didn’t work were spent at the spa to keep up with the ongoing chore of looking her best, or exercising under the guidance of the personal trainer her agent insisted she hire. And she couldn’t recall ending a single day as content as she now felt after spending the day helping Jackson. She didn’t even mind his obvious disgruntlement when she refused to relinquish her volunteer help in the clinic.
The man proved to be just as grueling a taskmaster as any of the photographers she’d posed for, but Julie still found herself enjoying the variety of animals, their owners and working for Jackson more than she could have ever imagined. Or had it been his enigmatic gaze zeroing in on her every time he escorted a patient out and called the next one back? Her body warmed in sexual awareness from those piercing looks, came alive in a way she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. In fact, not since that one kiss standing on a cold and busy New York street that had jarred her senses and opened her eyes to him in a whole new way. But he’d cut all ties with her after that night and it took the tragedy of Maci and Candace’s deaths to see why.
She’d been living in a vacuum the last two years, with no light or warmth as she struggled to get past the fear and guilt of that one, fateful night, striving to find the person she’d been and longed to be again. When she’d dropped out of the limelight with a reeling abruptness, Julie hadn’t missed the constant attention. In fact, just the opposite. She’d relished the solitude and quiet as much as she’d needed it, just not the constant interruption of nightmares. Today, she’d take what she could get and bask in the sheer enjoyment of getting a full night of uninterrupted sleep, followed by making herself useful and being with Jackson again.
Right before lunch, she’d spotted his keys on the corner of the counter and mentally shook her head. It seemed his habit of setting his keys down and forgetting them hadn’t improved with age. During their break, she’d sought him out in the back to return them and had caught him about to feed the puppy again. The little runt was so cute she couldn’t resist asking, “Oh, can I try?” then holding her breath, hoping he wouldn’t turn her down.
“If you want. Hold her in the crook of your arm.” Jackson stood close enough their arms had brushed and his warm breath fanned her cheek as he showed her how to feed the puppy. Warmth had pooled between her legs just from his nearness, and Julie had struggled to maintain her composure the rest of the afternoon.
Flipping the closed sign on the front door, she stepped outside. She’d planned to take a long walk to help pass the time while waiting for Jackson to return from a house call to a farm, but a small, sporty SUV turned onto the property and stalled her on the porch. Julie waited to see if she could help whoever it was without calling him. He’d looked tired by the time he left for that last appointment.
Three young guys hopped out of the vehicle, all of them eyeing her with blatant appreciation as they swaggered toward her. “Hey, are you from the temp agency?” the tall, lanky blond asked with a cocky grin. They looked like college kids; eighteen or nineteen would be her guess.
“I’m a friend of Dr. Davenport’s and, yes, I’m helping out in the office.” For how long remained to be seen, but they didn’t need to know that. “Can I help you?”
“Didn’t Doc mention us? We’re the part-t
ime help. I’m Alex, and that’s Ryan,” he nodded to the blond, “and Matt,” he jerked a thumb toward the dark-haired guy next to him. “You didn’t think the doc ran this place by himself, did you?”
“It would be difficult.” Julie didn’t doubt Jackson could, but was glad he had help. Except for the time he used to spend with her, and the friends he’d bonded with at that summer camp for troubled teens, he’d always preferred being alone. She wondered if he still kept in touch with those men. “I’m Julie, it’s nice to meet you. If you need any help, I’m free.”
Matt smirked, his dark eyes a little too appreciative, more insolent than complimentary. “You can clean out my kennels while I start putting some of the bigger dogs in the fenced yard to run around.”
From the dare reflected in his tone, she took his suggestion as a test. Well, she would just show these upstarts what she was made of, and maybe earn a few brownie points with Jackson. A lump lodged in her throat at the thought of leaving, of going months, maybe years again without seeing him, or even talking with him. She’d known she missed him, but not how much until she set eyes on him again and heard his deep voice washing over. Julie feared he was her last hope, the only person who could save her from the nightmares, and herself.
Stepping off the porch, she pasted a confident smile on her face. “You’re on, Matt. Lead the way.” His surprise was almost comical.
Working in the kennels over the next hour alongside the three students, Julie learned they were sophomores at a Miami community college, all three leaning towards a career in animal welfare. Their constant joking around and ribbing of each other revealed how close they were, and how young. It’d been a long time since she’d felt that young or happy enough to let her guard down around friends enough to just cut loose. She used to do it all the time with Jackson, and after he’d walked away, that was just one of the things she missed so much.
Aiming the hose over the outdoor concrete slab of the kennel, she marveled at the way the manual labor of cleaning up after a bunch of penned up dogs could make her feel so good. A thin rivulet of sweat rolled down her back even though the temperature was dropping along with the sun. The dogs in this building were all medium to large, and she could hear how much fun they were having romping in the fenced off play area.
Shifting her ministrations to the next kennel, she opened the gate and didn’t hear Jackson come up behind her until he demanded, “What are you doing working out here after working all day in the clinic?”
Whirling, her smile dipped when his eyes shifted down and he approached her with a scowl. Before she knew what was wrong, he took hold of her wrist and she noticed the bright red splotch on the yellow sleeve of her blouse.
“You’ve hurt yourself. Let me look.” Concern darkened his eyes and his tone.
Julie panicked, not wanting him to see the self-inflicted cut or the small, telltale scars of her addiction. As she jerked her arm back, the hose went flying out of her other hand to spray across the lawn. “Sorry! It’s just a scratch from the other day. I’ll take care of it.”
Jackson moved to grab the hose and switch it off, not liking the flash of fear in Julie’s eyes or her nervous reaction to him wanting to check out what she claimed was a small scratch. “Damn it,” he swore under his breath as he glared over at Matt, whose kennels she’d been cleaning. She was getting under his skin, as fast and as easily as she always had, and he didn’t know what to do about it, or her.
“Why don’t you go clean up and take care of it while I instruct the guys on what needs to be done this evening. They shouldn’t have shoved their chores off on you. Not only am I paying them well, but this job will eventually earn them both credit and experience towards their degrees if they continue with their interest in either veterinary medicine or animal welfare.”
“I didn’t mind, honest. It felt good to move around and I want to help out. Please, Jackson, don’t get mad.”
The desperate plea in her voice rubbed him wrong, as if she feared he’d send her packing and that was the last thing she wanted. He needed answers from her, and the sooner, the better. “I’m not mad, Julie, but you and I need to talk. I’ll be up to the house as soon as I finish out here, and we’ll eat.” She nodded, and he breathed easier when she didn’t argue.
“Hey, Doc.” Matt approached, and they both watched Julie walk back up to the house. “You two hot for each other?”
Jackson didn’t care for his insolent grin. At thirty-seven he wasn’t so old he couldn’t remember being nineteen, ornery and horny, but he didn’t appreciate those adolescent traits being aimed at Julie. “Stuff it, Matt, and don’t pass on your duties to her again. The livestock need to be fed and bedded down.” Ignoring the anger swirling in Matt’s eyes, he went to bring the dogs in from the play area. When it came to Julie, he’d always been a hard ass toward anyone who talked about her or eyed her in a way he didn’t like. Some things, he was discovering, hadn’t changed, no matter how much time had elapsed or how many miles had been between them.
Penning down the dogs provided him the time he needed to get a grip on himself and admit he’d overreacted with both Julie and Matt. Seeing the blood on her sleeve had pulled out all the protective instincts toward her he’d thought time had erased. He never could stand to see her hurt, yet last night, dreams of yanking her over his lap and spanking the answers he wanted out of her had plagued his sleep. He woke that morning with his hand wrapped around his cock, visions of turning her lily-white ass red and hearing her beg for more still filling his head. Yeah, he needed to get a grip, because the last thing he imagined either of them needed was Jackson introducing Julie to his kinky sexual preferences. Her emotional fragility worried him, and that was the only reason she was still here. As soon as he discovered what had sent her running back to him, and what caused the drastic change in the vain, self-centered woman he’d last seen, he would steer her in another direction for help and be done with her. Again.
Jackson took the outside side stairs to his second story living space and stepped into the kitchen and the mouthwatering aroma of the Clancy sisters’ homemade bierock pie. Hanging his set of keys on a small hook by the door, he eyed Julie standing on the far side of the counter separating them, her face flushed, her eyes wary.
“I hope you don’t mind. You looked tired, so I went ahead and started heating up one of the casseroles I found in the freezer,” she greeted him.
“I don’t mind.” Stepping around the counter, he spotted the stack of mail and frowned, irritated to see his mother still refused to give up trying to contact him. Snatching the pile, he strode to a built-in desk in the den, tossed her envelope in the top corner drawer with the rest of her unopened letters, then turned back to Julie, intending to get this out in the open.
“What I mind is you keeping secrets from me.” Striding over to her, he took in the clean blouse covering her arms. Gesturing to her attire, he stated, “Starting with the clothes. You never used to wear anything except shorts and tanks in warm weather, and the last time I saw you, your dress was even skimpier than that and it was fucking cold. Why the change, Julie?”
She squared her shoulders, the same stance she used to get when she turned stubborn, but another instant flare of panic in her eyes cooled his frustration.
“I told you, I’m no longer modeling, so I don’t have a need for a wardrobe of designer clothes. I left New York, and my life there, why does it have to be more than that?” she asked with a hint of defensiveness.
“It doesn’t have to be, but you forget how well I know you, and I can tell you’re keeping something bottled up. Care to share, since you’ve crashed my home unannounced and uninvited?” Her wince at that last comment forced him to tighten his jaw. Okay, he was being a prick, but until she enlightened him, he refused to let his guard down.
Julie turned away from the suspicion lurking in his eyes. Either the news of those Montana murders hadn’t spread this far south, or Jackson had stayed true to form and kept himself isolated fr
om social media as much as he did from socializing in public. She needed to prove to him she’d changed, that she was slowly finding and clinging to the person she used to be, the one he liked and looked out for. The one he’d kissed with a forceful passion she’d never experienced with anyone else. No, not that woman, but the one he’d thought he would be meeting that night.
“I got burned out, Jackson. And, I… woke up one morning and didn’t like my life, or… myself anymore.” She turned back to face him, drawing a deep breath and refusing to look away as she admitted, “I wanted… needed to come home, and you… you always represented home to me, even after…”
“I walked away and refused to speak with you again.” He strode over to the oven, grabbed a hot pad and pulled the casserole out. “I’m not sorry for that, Julie. I needed to let you go, just as you needed to make that move, take that opportunity. Let’s eat.” Setting down plates, he remained standing while she sat on a stool across from him, unable to read anything on his face.
“Oh, this tastes better than anything I’ve eaten in ages.”
His smile reached his eyes, warming them, and her. “Irma and Priscilla, they are twin spinsters in their seventies who pay for my services with food and plants.” He waved his fork toward a wrought iron plant stand loaded down with a variety of greenery sitting under the bay window across the room. “All that’s from them, even the stand. And I believe there’re still two or three more casseroles from them in the freezer.”
Her lips quirked with amusement. “Just how many pets do they have and how sick are they?”
“Just the opposite.” A boyish grin split his tanned, craggy face. “Their six cats are the picture of health, but you’d never know it from their weekly visits.” He shrugged, as if dealing with the elderly sisters’ eccentricities didn’t impose on his time. “I think they get bored and like to get out is all, so I humor them.”