by Sierra Hill
“Let’s not dwell on the what if’s for now, okay? There’s still two months until graduation. Your eighteenth birthday is coming up and then prom. I say we make the most of the time we have together and do everything we want to do before the summer ends.”
A smile broke out on Cam’s face, lighting it up and removing the guilt and sadness that had been there only moments before.
Cam spoke first. “I can do that.”
When both pairs of eyes landed on me, I pursed my lips in consternation before replacing it with my own watery smile.
“I can do that, too. And I have some things in mind for my birthday.”
I stepped out of their arms, slapping them both on their butts before dashing off toward my house, turning to look over my shoulder behind me as I did.
“Be ready, boys. This is going to be the best eighteenth birthday in the history of birthdays ever! Just you wait.”
Luckily, the wait was only a few weeks.
Long enough to get up the courage to do what I needed to do.
Chapter 14
I didn’t tell Sage and Cam about my birthday plans until the night before. I had to inform my parents beforehand, though, since we were going on an overnight camping trip.
Being friends for as long as we had and having gone on similar camping trips together in the past, made my parents comfortable in our arrangement. They knew Cam and Sage and trusted us together. We’d never given them any indication, otherwise, that we were anything other than “just friends.”
So, when I revealed that the three of us were going camping for my birthday, my momma and daddy hadn’t batted an eye.
My daddy did surprise me, however, as I packed for the trip.
“You got everything you need?” My dad had asked me as I shoved an extra pair of shorts into my backpack which was filled to the brim and barely able to zip up.
I nodded. “Yes, sir, sure do.”
My dad stood next to my bed, suddenly quiet and reflective. Tugging the zipper up, I glanced sideways to find my daddy staring at me with a faraway look in his eye.
“What’s wrong, daddy?”
My dad, a beefy man in his early fifties, had built a business of farming and ranching, turning it into a lucrative farming system that supplied the county and state with fresh meat, eggs, cattle and organic food staples. He also hired and employed many locals who relied on him for their livelihood and had raised a family doing what he loved.
I was always proud to say I was Lee Moriety’s daughter. He was a respected member of the community and his legacy wouldn’t die now that my oldest brother, Grady, had taken the helm as his right-hand man.
Daddy sat down on the bed, pushing the bag over to allow room for me, as he patted the plush pink bedspread with his rough hand.
Plopping down on the bed, I faced him with criss-crossed legs.
He cleared his throat nervously and I noticed his neck and face were red and blotchy. And it wasn’t from the heat of the sun or working outside day-after-day. It was something different.
“I know your momma already talked to you some time ago about…” he gave a long sigh, slapping his jean-clad thighs with his palms. Then he returned his gaze to me.
“Well, darlin, this is a bit more difficult for me than it was with your brothers, so give me some slack, here. I’m fixin’ to do my best not to make this too awkward. But I need to make sure my little girl is protected.”
Tilting my head up in alarm, I watched as he lifted his butt to the side and pulled something from his back pocket. My eyes bugged out with surprise when he opened his palm, producing three condom packets.
The giggle that escaped me couldn’t be helped and my hand flew to my mouth, covering my embarrassed laugh.
“Daddy…” I groaned with discomfort, covering my face with my hands. “Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.”
He gave a deep chuckle, indicating it was the same for him.
“Darlin, I know it is, but it has to be said. You know that I trust you…and for the most part, have faith in Cam and Sage to do the right thing. But ya see, darlin, I was once in their shoes around a pretty girl, too. Also known as your mother. And boys your age have all sorts of inappropriate thoughts in their heads about girls…
“And if Cam and Sage were any other boys, I’d have my shotgun aimed and ready. But I know Cam would never do anything to hurt you in that way. I’m also not dumb. I’ve seen how you look at him. So, if you and Cam decide to get serious, I want you to protect yourself. There’s too much riding on your future to get knocked up or worse.”
Underneath the impossibly humiliating topic of the sex talk with my dad, I found it odd that he pinned my interest only on Cam and not Sage. Did he not consider Sage as a potential love interest for me?
“Daddy, in case you were wondering, I’m still a virgin.”
His response was immediate, rubbing his temples in either agony or relief. “Thank God I’m not too late.”
We both laughed at his obvious relief.
“You’re not too late. And I appreciate the concern. But out of curiosity, why do you assume it’s me and Cam? What if I liked Sage in that way?”
Daddy’s lips tightened, his jaw clenching.
“Sage is bad news, darlin. If I had it my way, you’d stay far away from him and not let him drag you down. He doesn’t belong in your life.”
I was stunned at what I was hearing. Since when did my Dad think so unkindly toward Sage, who had never been anything but a wonderful friend to me? I was disgusted with my Dad’s low opinion of my best friend, who had overcome so much in his life and was desperate to get out from under his father’s thumb, doing everything he could to make sure that happened.
“Daddy, I can’t believe you think that about Sage. He’s my best friend and has the kindest heart. He’s always been here for me and would never do anything to hurt me.”
He patted my knee affectionately, with a sorrowful acknowledgment.
“London, you must realize that Sage’s life is incredibly different from yours. He’s not going to college. He doesn’t have the same opportunities that you have. And his father…”
I jumped from the bed, appalled by what my dad was implying.
“You’re judging him based on his father? On the way he was raised? That’s not Sage’s fault!”
My anger flooded my body, my hands tightening into fists and my stomach twisting into knots. I grabbed my bag from the floor and ran downstairs and outside to wait for Cam in the driveway.
My dad followed me out, continuing the conversation with a gentle hand on my shoulder. I kept my back to him, anger seething in the pit of my stomach.
“Baby, I know you only see what you want to about Sage. But there’s something dark there. It’s bound to shake loose someday, and maybe not intentionally, but he could hurt you. I only want you to be careful. Do you hear me?”
He tried to reach for my hand, but I flung it out of his reach, taking two large steps away from him before spinning to face him.
“Daddy, you don’t know him like I do. He’s the most loving, caring and sweetest boy I’ve ever met. He’d do anything for me or Cam. He might not be going to college but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have plans for his life. He’s such a talented musician and is going to be a huge star someday. I just know it.”
My dad’s whiskered lips pressed together in a firm line, either begrudgingly agreeing or disagreeing with me, I wasn’t sure. Either way, he was so wrong about Sage. He didn’t know him like I did and he had no right.
“London, listen to me, darlin. You’re still young and don’t know the things I know as an adult. Abuse and neglect from a parent can have life-long impacts on young people. One small thing could set him off at any given moment. You may never even see it coming,” he warned.
Crossing my arms in a huff, I turned my face away from his accusations and inaccurate assessment of Sage. If he knew about Sage’s home life, why hadn’t he intervened? It made me angry that he�
��d let it continue and not do anything to protect him from his father.
We both heard the screen door open and glanced to see my mother walking out carrying a cooler. Her eyebrows lifted at the obvious chill in the air, despite the heat of the day.
The silence was noticeable as she walked down the path to my car, pinging her gaze between the two of us, silently questioning what the tension was all about.
“London, sweetheart, I’ve packed up some food for you and the boys to take with you,” she chirped, her ever-present smile somewhat tempered by curiosity. “I’m sure you’re fixin’ to do some fishing, but at least you’ll have some other goodies with you. And I made Cam’s favorite peach pie and Sage’s Rice Krispies treats.”
My comment was snide and meant to be a barb toward my daddy. “Thanks, momma. I know you love Cam and Sage.”
My dad sighed and shook his head ruefully.
“I’ll let you to it, then, London. Just be careful, ya hear me? I love you and I just want you to be safe.”
He stopped in front of me, my body language still very much a broody, moody teenager with my arms crossed at my chest, and he stooped to place a kiss on the top of my head.
I knew he only wanted the best for me and my life. I was his only daughter and understood where his protective nature stemmed from. But not his malign assassination of Sage’s character. That was hurtful and unforgivingly wrong.
The corners of the condom packages cut into my palm as I hid them from my mother, who placed the cooler in the back of my car as my dad walked off toward the barn.
“Everything okay, sweetheart? You seem upset.”
Shaking off my bad mood, I stuck the packets in my pocket and peeked under the cooler lid, hoping to replace my bad mood with a believable smile.
“Everything’s fine, momma. And thank you for putting this all together for us. You’re the best,” I said, meaning it wholeheartedly.
She stood at my side and put her mother’s caring arm around my shoulder, squeezing me to her side.
“And of course, there’s something special just for my birthday girl in there, too.”
I smiled a genuine smile. “My favorite?”
She nodded. “Yes, your favorite.”
There was nothing better than the chocolate chip, butterscotch cookies my momma made, and I would gorge myself on them anytime she made them.
I hugged her with all my might. “Thank you, momma. I love you.”
She squeezed me tightly in her warm embrace. “Anything for you, sweetheart. I love you, too. And whatever is going on with your dad, it’s only because he loves you so much. You’re his only baby girl and he worries about you. And Lord have mercy we are going to miss you when you go off to college.”
We pulled out of our embrace and my mom had tears glistening in her bright, sky-blue eyes.
“I know, momma. But he doesn’t have to worry about me when I’m with Cam and Sage. They’ll always take care of me.”
If only I knew then what I know now.
Chapter 15
“Your mom made me pie?” Cam beamed with excitement when I told him what awaited us in the cooler.
We’d parked in the overnight lot and had been hiking into the Smoky Mountain park wilderness to find our campsite. The boys were thrilled when I told them where we were going, one of our favorite spots we found two summers earlier. It wasn’t often that we got to spend the entire weekend together, especially now that we were late in the school year and with all the pre-graduation activities eating away at our time.
Sage had been working a part-time job at the local grocery store ever since he was old enough to work. His dad never provided him money for anything outside of necessities, so if Sage wanted to leave town after graduation, he had to earn his own way. Cam had been busy with his athletics and school activities, and I, too, had been focused on my studies in preparation for finals.
I knew when I asked them to take the weekend off for my birthday, both boys would do it in a heartbeat. I’d hoped it wouldn’t be our last camping trip together, but after graduation, who knew where our time would be spent.
“You know my momma loves you both to death, right?”
“Your mom is an angel,” Sage stated, stepping over a fallen branch, his backpack and guitar swinging heavy on his back as he held another bag of supplies in his left hand.
It always hurt my heart that Sage was motherless. And it made me spit nails that my dad admitted his concerns about Sage when he was doing the very best he could, given the horrible home life and circumstances he had been dealing with for years.
“Guess what my dad gave me today?” My voice came out in a hushed excitement, adding to the suspense that drew both of their interests.
“What?” they both asked with curiosity, but not enough to stop our hiking progress.
I giggled. “Condoms.”
Cam stopped suddenly in front of me and because of my proximity behind him, I ran into his back, with Sage bumping into me, as well.
“What? Are you serious?” Cam asked incredulously.
“Your dad gave you rubbers? Holy shit!”
I nodded.
Sage huffed out a laugh, but it was laced with worry. “Wait, does that mean he suspects something?”
Before I could respond, Cam added, “If he did, he’d had already aimed his shotgun at us and London wouldn’t be on this trip alone with the two of us, dumb shit.”
Sage agreed with a laugh. “That’s true. But kinda weird, don’t ya think? Why now?”
I shrugged, adjusting the straps on my shoulders to avoid their inquisitive stares. I didn’t want them finding out what my daddy said when he gave me the protection. That burden and the weight of that secret felt heavier than the bag I carried.
“Well, he did say he’s noticed the way you two look at me and if you were any other boys, he’d get his shotgun out with a stern warning.”
They both snickered uncomfortably as we started preparing the campsite, setting our packs down and unloading all the tent, camping gear and equipment.
It was mindless work, as we chatted and laughed and joked for the next two hours. The sun was high in the sky by now, the temperature was warm and humid, so after the camp was ready, we got our suits on and hiked down to the lake for a swim.
We’d found this place by accident two years earlier, a little off the beaten path and completely isolated. It was the perfect spot for us where we could goof off, play, sing and laugh ‘til our hearts’ content.
The water was murky but clean as we swam around, cooling off our sweat drenched bodies after the strenuous hike to camp. The boys splashed and dunked each other as I swam in a circular pattern, floating on my back enjoying the freedom from the responsibilities and pressures of the end of the school year. There was excitement, and nervous anxiety about what was to come, but also a level of nostalgia, knowing we would soon be venturing into the unknown. And in different directions.
“Hey, Ariel…whatchya smiling about over there?” Sage inquired, referring to my favorite Disney character and the movie. The one I made them watch at least a thousand times when we were six-year-olds.
I peered over at them, shielding my eyes from the sun’s glare, seeing the faces of the boys I’d known for as long as I could remember, and the bodies of the men they’d become. Cam and Sage were so very different, each holding a unique appeal that did something to me every time I looked at them.
I continued my aimless float but answered his question. “I’m just thinking about all the great times we’ve had together. And how much I’m going to miss you both when school’s over.”
As if sensing that I needed their comfort, they swam over and surrounded me on both sides, my body floating between them. I became extremely self-conscious of my nearly naked body, the water sluicing between my legs and over my bare belly, my breasts covered only by a bikini top. My nipples puckered against the material, which didn’t escape either of their notices, either.
“Nothing’s
gonna change, London,” Cam insisted, his voice raspy and heated as his hand swept up the length of my arm, gliding along with the direction of the swirling water. “Just because school ends doesn’t mean it’ll change us.”
Cam’s heart was bigger than the world sometimes, and when he made a commitment, it meant something to him. He’d made a promise to his father that he’d enlist in the Air Force, and although his heart was set on college, he wouldn’t back down from what he’d committed to do.
The same was true for his friendship with me and Sage. He gave his all to us and would do anything in his power to ensure we were happy. To him, the bond the three of us shared was unbreakable. Impenetrable. Inseparable.
I wanted to believe him and hold that same conviction, believing that what we shared throughout childhood could withstand anything we’d face in adulthood. Even the distance that would separate us come fall.
Sage, sensing my own uncertainty, leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. An assurance that we’d all be okay. Cam’s hand slipped underneath the waterline and cupped my head as I continued to float. He leaned in and angled his mouth to mine, where Sage’s had just been.
I felt Sage’s hand caress my leg, his fingertips gently stroking up from my ankle, over my shin and the climb of my knee, until he was at my mid-section. He stopped to swirl a gentle pattern over my belly button and the rise of my stomach, continuing further until he reached the swell of my breast.
I gasped when his thumb flicked at my nipple. I looked between the two, who stared at each other and exchanged a wordless conversation. As if coming to some consensus, Cam leaned down again to suck at my lips, as I opened for him and his tongue brushed against mine. I sighed and felt my body succumb to the intense connection.
Cam’s kiss deepened, drawing a moan from my throat as Sage’s fingers wandered up and down the path along my body. Everywhere he touched made me ache – with pleasure and pain. Cam’s other hand dropped underneath the curve of my spine, holding me up so I no longer had to paddle.