Noora opened the door and walked in. “We have two podium options. There’s a traditional wood model with— Is that a girdle?”
Geiger was in too much shock to answer her question. “How did you get through the door? I locked it.”
Noora sighed. “Didn’t you go over the memos I prepared for you? It broke while you were on Takora. We haven’t fixed it yet.”
Geiger looked out the window and saw a window washer wearing a jet pack floating outside. The window washer smiled meekly and waved.
Noora looked away, feeling too much vicarious embarrassment. “We also have to repair the exterior reflective coating.”
Geiger’s face turned red, and it wasn’t because of the two-sun tan. He had been too busy basking in the reactions to his security measures to waste time reading Noora’s memos. “I must have… missed them.”
Noora pointed to Geiger’s desk, where she had left the chip holding her memos with a sticky note labeled “Memos.” “I placed the memos on your desk, right where you told me—”
Geiger’s face turned to a shade of red so deep it’s been officially recognized as new a color by the Intergalactic House Painter’s Association. He blew up. “NOORA! If you haven’t NOTICED, I have been under a LOT of STRESS. I am TRYING to redesign the ENTIRE FUCKING GOVERNMENT and redefine how INFORMATION ITSELF is managed. So I am sorry if I’ve been a little too PREOCCUPIED to read your DAMN MEMOS.”
Geiger had yelled at Noora before and he would yell at her again. She let it roll off her back like rainwater. “I left the memos where you told me to, sir. Also, there is no shame in wearing a girdle. I know many men—”
“IT’S NOT A GIRDLE!!!! It’s a…” He stammered trying to remember what that thing was called… That other thing… Finally he remembered. “A brack base! I mean a bass rake! I mean…”
Noora crossed her arms. “A back brace?”
Geiger inhaled and spoke, calmly, on the exhale. “Yes. A back brace. For my bad back. I injured it fishing on Takora-3.”
Noora nodded. “Ah, a back brace. I understand. So, do you want the traditional wooden podium?”
By that point, Geiger had taken the girdle off in embarrassment and was re-buttoning his shirt. “Yes. Sounds perfect. With the Academy logo on the front.”
“Yes, sir.”
Geiger maintained his ritual of stopping Noora for “one more thing” as she approached the door. “Please let me know the next time you schedule the window cleaners.”
Noora walked out the door without looking back. “It was all in the memo!” The door slid shut behind her.
+++
Front Steps of the Espionage Academy, Avalon Space Station
Geiger was impressed. He had been upset at Noora earlier for not reminding him multiple times about the memos. Even if that was technically his responsibility, blaming someone else for his own oversight made him feel better. Despite that, he had to admit Noora had done an excellent job attracting every major news publication, journalist, politician, and otherwise Very Important Person on Avalon Space Station and from Theron Techcropolis. And that didn’t even begin to include the dozens of influential people attending via hologram.
Geiger looked out on the crowd from his beautiful, slightly wide podium that came up to the perfect height.
It was a beautiful day. He had told Noora to schedule this speech for a day that the artificial atmosphere of Avalon Space Station was scheduled for fair weather.
Only when the digital clock projected skyward, visible from all locations within Avalon space station, rolled over to 3:00 PM did Dean Geiger step forward to the podium and being his speech. Punctuality was an important trait for a leader.
“My good citizens of the Federation. I address you today, I feel, for the first time as myself. I am not speaking to you as Dean Geiger, dean of the prestigious Espionage Academy. I speak to you not as Ronald Geiger, mastermind behind our new Data and Security Measures that are keeping you safe. I speak to you as a fellow citizen. I speak to you as a concerned citizen. I speak to you as someone who wants change. I speak to you. I speak to you, the backbone of our great Federation. And I hope I am right to believe that I may also speak for you when I say that I am… pissed off. If the recent security breaches didn’t warn you that we are in danger, then I hope the violence carried out by the terrorist Jayne Austin does!”
There was applause from the crowd. The cam-drones hovered around Geiger.
As the applause began to die down, Geiger resumed his speech. “I arrive before you today with upsetting news, but it is news we must face. Prime Minister Leon Osmer has allowed this danger, this threat to our safety, to boil up from beneath, from the lowest levels, and infect our way of life. How could Prime Minister Osmer have allowed this to happen? While Jayne Austin was laying the foundations for her impending reign of terror, Prime Minister Osmer was abusing his position of power by carrying on with innumerable affairs!”
The crowd let out a collective gasp of incredulity. You could even sense how startled the holograms were to hear this.
“I am afraid that is only the beginning of the lies that the Prime Minister has been peddling to us, treating us like we are idiots. Well, we’re not idiots! We’re the citizens of this Federation! We deserve better! We deserve the absolute best! With the approaching election…”
The shoe had been raised. The entire crowd, the billions of Federation citizens watching the coverage, generated a registerable amount of energy from the tension.
Geiger repeated the beginning to his major announcement. “With the approaching election in mind, and with recent news from the outlands on Amaros that JAYNE AUSTIN is still running rampant, I can no longer take a back seat to the danger Prime Minister Osmer allows us to face. And so, I officially announce my candidacy for Prime Minister of the Federation!”
The crowd went batshit. Even if Geiger’s speech wasn’t already over, there’d be no point in going further. The roar of support could have drowned out an atom bomb.
Geiger’s chest swelled with pride.
+++
Bullseye Billiards, L46, Theron Techcropolis
The game was Cutthroat. Vlad and Merry on one team, versus Cameron and Fred on the other. Cameron perfectly set the billiard balls with the rack. Everyone had adequately chalked up their cues and drunk enough beers to get started. Unfortunately, the game was repeatedly postponed because of Fred’s inability to wrap his head around the rules. Cameron explained Cutthroat to Fred again and again, simplifying his words every time until he finally decided they should just start the game in the hopes that Fred might pick it up as they went along.
Cameron removed the rack and hung it beneath the table. “Okay, Fred, like this. Vlad, Merry… I hope you guys are ready for the best split you’ll ever see.”
He slid the cue back and forth with a deft hand, readying his stroke for a quick and hard strike that would set up the perfect table for a victory for his team, despite Fred’s total inexperience.
Cameron pulled the cue back, centered himself and, once he was ready, popped his wrist forward.
“Geiger’s on TV!” Fred shouted, blocking Cameron’s view as he reached across the table to point at the nearest holo-screen.
Fred’s outburst broke Cameron’s balance and his cue scratched the table. He missed the cue ball entirely. “FRED!”
Merry shushed him. “Look, this seems bad.”
Geiger mugged on the screen as he delivered his speech.
Merry squinted at the image. “That podium is shaped so weird.”
The bartender turned down the music in the billiard hall and cranked the volume on Geiger’s speech. The pursuit of Jayne Austin had become such a huge news story, and Geiger such an integral character within it, every pool player stopped their games to pay attention.
Any mention of Jayne made Cameron, Fred, Vlad, and Merry tense up. Associates and allies of Jayne faced immediate arrest and imprisonment. As a result, everyone except Cameron had followed Jayne’s lead a
nd changed their appearance. Vlad shaved and started wearing a nice suit. Fred gave up the vintage glasses look. Merry dyed her hair purple and bought a new outfit without a single piece of black clothing.
The crew ceased meeting at the ISA offices altogether. They never found a bug, but Merry was convinced it was hidden in there somewhere. The business card was surely a distraction. As a result they met in bars, arcades, pool halls, kava shops, and everywhere else except for Jack Flap’s Flap Jacks. Merry told Fred that if he wanted to continue breaking pancake records, he had to do it alone.
The day before he made it to 76. Merry’s resentment toward his lithe figure mounted by the day.
Geiger began his speech, and the crew became four of the billions of Federation citizens watching Geiger continue his march toward total control.
If there was anyone out there who hadn’t heard of Jayne Austin yet, they had heard about her now.
At the moment Geiger muttered the words, “I officially announce my candidacy for Prime Minister of the Federation,” the crew’s hearts sank through the floor.
The air in the billiard hall was conflicted. There was isolated clapping, some whoops and hollers.
A young kid, probably too young to drink despite the beer bottle he flung through the holo-screen, yelled “fuck you!” He was wearing a “Jayne Is Innocent” shirt.
Merry saw the shirts occasionally. Usually young kids, younger than her. She wished she could thank them, tell them that they’re right, but that was a risk she couldn’t take.
She was heartened at the simmer of belief that Jayne was some kind of underground hero, but their delicate position forced her to denounce Jayne if the topic came up with a stranger.
The beefier more macho pool players at the billiard hall gave the young punk mean looks. They drowned him out with audible cheers for Dean Geiger.
Merry started clapping at Geiger’s announcement. “Woohoo!” Fred, Vlad, and Cameron gaped at her. She grunted at them under her breath. “Come on guys, make it look good.”
The crew reluctantly participated in the necessary charade.
+++
Merry obsessively ran her fingers through her newly purple hair. “Why is it that Jayne can’t breathe without upsetting the balance of galactic politics?”
Vlad was smoking a new strain that made him more philosophical than usual. “I think it’s more likely that balance can’t exist in politics.”
Merry glared at Vlad, who was walking on the other side of Cameron. Vlad continued. “In a way, the balance extends further than that. There’s no balance within the government because it’s one entity. And Jayne, Jayne is the counterbalance to that entity.”
Merry couldn’t wait for Vlad to run out of this strain. “Cameron, can you do me a favor and punch Vlad?”
“My pleasure.” Cameron punched Vlad in the arm.
Fred stopped ahead of them and waited for the crew to catch up. He always walked faster than everyone else. Merry often wondered if that’s how he burned off the hundreds of pancakes he ate every week. Merry, Vlad, and Cameron stopped when they caught up with Fred.
Fred faced them very seriously. “Can we actually help her?”
Merry had been waiting for someone to finally come forward with the question that stayed stuck in all their minds. She had an answer at the ready. “It doesn’t matter if we can. What matters is if we try.”
Vlad dropped his joint, stamped it out, and shoved the roach off the sidewalk into the street. “Let’s keep walking, that cruiser’s making me nervous.”
Merry assumed Vlad was feeling paranoid again until Cameron backed him. “Yeah, let’s get going… Now.”
Merry and Fred looked now, across the block. A black cruiser hovered by a street lamp.
The crew did their best to start up a casual stroll again, but it felt like their limbs had turned into wet spaghetti. Walking normal seemed impossible.
The paranoia wasn’t the fear of someone watching them. It was the uncertainty of not being able to know if they were being watched or not.
Fred turned around and walked backwards. In his mind, it was a casual move. “Hey guys! How about beers at my place?”
Now it was Cameron’s turn to play casual. He caught up to Fred, turned him around and put his arm over his shoulder. “You read my mind! Did you guys see that movie, uh… Kill ‘Em All 72? We could watch that tonight.”
Merry knew they were trying to act normal in case someone was watching them, but she hoped they were also serious. She would love to drink beer and watch Kill ‘Em All 72. “Uh… Hell yeah, dude.”
Cameron clapped his hands together and rubbed them. It was starting to get cold. “Then let’s get going! To Fred’s!”
As they crossed the street, the black cruiser finally turned and drove off in the opposite direction. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Their limbs felt normal again.
Vlad pouted. “Man. I wish I didn’t have to scrap that joint.” He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out another one. “Oh well, good thing I always keep several backups.”
Merry sidled by Cameron now. “Cameron, were we being watched just now? You would know.”
Cameron shrugged. “I honestly don’t. Look, remember the Burrett case? Our stake-out? We were in unmarked cruisers. The goal was to blend in, not stick out.”
Vlad exhaled. “Yeah, and that cruiser stuck out like a boner at the beach.”
Merry laughed. Cameron wasn’t quite in the mood. “Okay, well, that’s true. And because of that, I would say that they, whoever that was because I promise you they weren’t cops, were only trying to intimidate us.”
Fred nodded. “Yeah, like the agents who came by. Right?”
Merry looked down at her feet pounding the pavement. “Right.”
The crew took a turn at the next block. At least, Merry thought, we’re going to Fred’s apartment after all. “Guys, I have to get something off my chest.”
“Yeah?” Vlad, Fred, and Cameron all seemed to ask in unison.
Merry sighed. “I believe in Jayne. I believe she’s innocent. But… dammit, guys. I get so tired. I get so tired about what we have to go through. About all the shit she starts.”
Vlad nodded. “Me too.” He offered the joint to Merry in solidarity.
The smoke scratched Merry’s lungs and it felt good. “Is it bad that I feel that way?”
Cameron shook his head. “It’s okay to feel that way. I love her, and I still feel that way.”
“Besides, it’s what we signed up for!” Fred interrupted. “If it wasn’t Jayne, it’d be someone else. Right? If we weren’t in the shit with Jayne, we’d be in some other shit with someone else. And you know what? The shit wouldn’t be as good.”
Maybe Fred was right, Merry thought. You’re gonna be in the shit no matter what. Might as well be in the good shit. Shit with a purpose. Shit against all odds.
Fred took out his key-chip and opened the gate to his building. “Alright, hope you guys are ready to Kill ‘Em All!!”
They would help Jayne save the world tomorrow. Tonight, they were going to get drunk and watch a dumb movie.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Headless Hope, The Outer Lands, Amaros
“Welcome to Headless Hope! Your Going to Want To Stay Awhile!”
Jayne read the sign in a glance as she zoomed past it, now only a few miles outside of Headless Hope's downtown. She not only noticed the somewhat ominous slogan, but the incorrect use of “your,” as well as the perplexing decision to capitalize the ‘T’ in the last ‘to.’ The bizarre grammatical errors, to her, were only the beginning of the chaotic lawlessness she was thrusting herself into.
As Jayne zoomed over another dead-grass hill, the three intersecting thoroughfares that bound downtown Headless Hope into a triangle pointing beyond toward further desolation, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Jayne was a city girl. The middle of nowhere gave her the creeps. The middle of nowhere reminded Jayne of her smallness. The lizard on the
rock didn’t care about Jayne’s mission, and would continue to hunt whether or not Jayne lived or died. Jayne never liked to be questioned, and she didn’t like questioning herself. Think about the people this affects, Jayne told herself. And yet, the lizard on the rock barely turned its head as she zoomed past. Indifference always seems to win.
Indifference was never coded into Jayne’s DNA.
Headless Hope was far from civilization, but she was simply happy to be in the presence of buildings.
First things first, she needed to find a doctor. The Bitch Sisterhood wasn’t exactly riding around on brand new magne-cycles. Their stiff, ancient accelerators, made all the worse by years-worth of compounded sand in the gears, had renewed the pain in Jayne’s ankle.
But any old doctor simply wouldn’t be enough. She needed to find a doctor who wouldn’t ask her questions and would treat her for free.
Jayne might have to negotiate a little bit.
Splotches of concrete began emerging from the ground like scabs until they finally formed Trigger Boulevard, the left leg of the triangle that was Headless Hope. Jayne gritted her teeth and accelerated toward the town’s apex point.
Abandoned storefronts with shattered, long-defunct 2D screen signs hanging limply above the boarded entrances lined Trigger Boulevard. Apart from a homeless woman walking a malnourished dog, there was no sign of life.
Then Jayne passed a gilded iron gate, caked in gold leaf, protecting an ornately designed ele-grav that could only go one direction: down.
Jayne was surprised to see an ele-grav, relatively new technology, in this part of town.
And where were all the casinos, anyway?
Jayne slowed down and pulled over to the homeless woman with the dog. She ignored Jayne and continued rifling through the trashcan by the ele-grav.
Jayne turned the magne-cycle off. “Excuse me?”
The woman kept her head half-buried in the trashcan. “Ah?”
Weird response, Jayne thought. “I need to find a doctor. Do you… know where a hospital is?”
Exposed (Interplanetary Spy for Hire Book 2) Page 13