“I’m — I’m so sorry for your loss.” That was the customary thing to say, but the words felt hollow. She must be devastated by losing her sister. I know I would be if I ever had a sister.
“I also wanted to see how you were doing with all this?”
I gaped at her. “Me?” What did I have to do with any of this? I might have been Freya’s student, but Elsa was her family.
“I’m awful.” I dropped my gaze to the floor. Why had I said that? Stupid, Silvy. How I felt didn’t matter.
Elsa reached out and squeezed my hand. “I know how hard it must be for you too. We all miss her very much.”
Her touch felt warm and comforting as tears well up in my eyes. “We’ll — we’ll be late.” I didn’t want to cry in front of her. “We should get going.”
“Of course. I also wanted to ask would you like to speak at the ceremony?”
Tristen had told me what would happen. People would get up and speak about how they remembered Freya. So, it was similar to a human funeral in that respect. He had also told me about the ritual and other stuff that would happen, but I hadn’t taken much of it in. I just wanted this day to be over with.
I couldn’t fathom why Elsa would ask me to speak. I only knew Freya for about a year.
“I — I… I don’t think I can.” I blinked back the tears that still refused to fall.
“I understand.” Elsa patted my shoulder. “If you change your mind, feel free to stand up. I’m sure Freya would have loved it if you spoke for her.”
We headed down to the grounds behind the academy where large rolling green grass spread out. Chairs had been set up in long rows and a small platform had been set up at the front with an altar where a priestess would lead the ceremony. Relief washed over me when I joined Tristen. He had on a navy-blue suit.
“Freya’s sister asked me to stand up and speak for Freya,” I whispered.
Tristen arched an eyebrow. “Usually only family or close friends do that. She must have thought highly of you.” He took hold of my hand. “It’s an honour to be asked to speak at someone’s memorial.”
It still felt strange to hold hands in public like this, but I squeezed his hand back. For once, I didn’t care if anyone saw us. I had wanted to keep our possible relationship a secret, but it didn’t matter. I needed him today.
Several men came in carrying a casket. My heart twisted at the sight. I knew what funerals entailed, but I hadn’t thought I would have to see that.
A priestess wearing a long white robe came in and began a ritual. Reciting the prayer to the goddess and talking about the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.
The priestess prattled on, but I didn’t take any of it. As much as I wanted this day to be over with part of me wished I didn’t have to be there.
Elsa got up first to speak. “Thank you for coming today,” she said. “Freya was the kindest, most loving person. She was always there for her friends and her family. Words cannot express how much I will miss my sister. But with the sadness of her death comes also comes the celebration of her life. And what a wonderful life she led. Her dream was always to help others — that’s what led her to become a teacher, and I know she enjoyed her work more than anything.”
I finally let the tears form and Tristen put his arm around me.
Elsa continued talking about Freya and how special she had been. How she played tricks on them as children and eventually became a teacher. I barely heard any of it through my tears.
I buried my face in Tristen’s shoulder for a moment.
“Would anyone else like to speak?” Elsa asked.
A few moments later Forrest’s voice made me look up. “Freya Goodwin was well-liked at the academy. Both among students and staff.” He rattled on for several minutes. “Her death will be a great loss for us here. But I know she would not want us to —” I stopped listening after a while.
Elsa stepped back up onto the platform and in front of the podium. “Thank you, headmaster,” she said. “Would anyone else like to speak for Freya? Perhaps one of her students?” She gave me a pointed look.
I blinked, surprised she had interrupted Forrest. His jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything as he stalked off the platform and moved back to his seat.
I wiped my tears and stood up. What the hell am I doing? I had no idea what, but I felt like I had to say something for Freya. I had almost been her daughter, and she had meant a lot to me.
Forrest glared at me and I gave him a hard look, daring him to say something.
He didn’t. He wouldn’t want to risk making a scene in front of everyone.
I stepped up to the podium and took a deep breath. “Freya was… Freya was a friend. Not just a teacher to a lot of people here.” My voice came out stronger than I expected. “She stood up for people when no one else would. She believed in them. And yes, we were all blessed to have her in our lives. The world is a dark place without her in it. Darker still since someone took her from us. Ignoring the way she died dishonours everything she stood for.”
A collective gasp ran through the crowd.
Forrest turned bright red, and I half expected him to jump up and drag me off the podium so I wouldn’t cause any more of a scene. Damn it, Silvy, why did I say that? I was a walking disaster zone. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t meant what I had said.
Instead, Elsa came up and slipped an arm around me. “Thank you for your kind words.” She nodded. “And I agree, my sister’s death will not go unpunished. You can all be sure of that.”
When I stepped off the podium to go back to my seat, Forrest made a move and stood up from the front row. “Silvy, will you come and stand with me?” Elsa came over and glowered at Forrest.
“But she —” Forrest protested.
Elsa wrapped a protective arm around me and led me away. “Go away,” she hissed at Forrest. “If you cause a scene here today, I will end you.”
To my amazement, Forrest backed off and slumped back to his seat. Yep, I liked Freya’s sister.
Elsa and I watched as they set Freya’s casket on fire.
I looked away and let the tears flow freely. Seeing that only made it more real.
Once the ceremony was over, Forrest dragged me off to his office once people had started leaving. He had worried about causing a scene then. He had grabbed hold of my arm whilst Elsa had gone off to talk to someone else. Tristen hadn’t looked too happy as we’d walked past him, though. I would be surprised if he followed us and barged in on his uncle. I had seen his mother there too, so she would probably waylay him.
“How could you cause such a spectacle at Freya’s memorial?” he demanded. “This is a day for remembering Freya, not for using it for your personal vendetta.”
Expulsion, here we come.
Maybe speaking up like that had been stupid, but I had to do something. And I had been fighting so hard to keep my place at the academy. But I hated feeling so powerless, and no one would believe Freya had been killed. What would it take to make someone finally listen?
“I only told the truth,” I growled. After my earlier sadness, my anger had returned. Anger was a much easier emotion to deal with. “Freya told me she was poisoned. Everyone still seems to be ignoring that.”
“An enquiry has already been made. No foul play was involved. Why can’t you learn to accept that?” Forrest demanded. “The poison Freya ingested would have made her delirious. You can’t take what she said at face value.”
“Because it’s a load of rubbish. I know something happened to her. I spent weeks training with her, and she wasn’t stupid enough to take something by accident.”
Good job, Silvy. You’re really digging yourself in it this time. “Someone killed her, and your precious council covered it up.” I’d be expelled anyway, so I didn’t see the harm in opening my mouth now.
“You —”
The door flew open as Elsa herself stormed in.
“Miss Goodwin, please allo
w me to apologise for this girl’s ridiculous behaviour,” Forrest said. “Don’t worry, she will —”
“It’s your behaviour you should be apologising for,” Elsa snapped. “You created a scene at my sister’s memorial. You should be ashamed of yourself, Thornwood.” She crossed her arms. “I know our families have had their disagreements over the years, but I never thought you would sink that low.”
Forrest’s mouth fell open. Mine did too. “But she made a scene and said complete nonsense in front of everyone.” He motioned towards me. “She —” His face turned bright red, as if he couldn’t believe his ears.
“She stood up for Freya and I thank her for it. I also find the council’s ruling questionable in regard to my sister’s death.”
Wow. I wanted to jump for joy at Elsa’s words. Finally, someone believed me.
Perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t regret what I’d done.
“She will be punished for this outburst,” Forrest snapped. “I —”
“You will do no such thing. To do so would dishonour Freya’s memory and I will not let anyone do that,” Elsa hissed. “Give me your word you won’t punish Silvy for today. If you do, need I remind you I have my sister’s place in the council now. You have nothing. You might be the queen’s brother, but my family still has power and influence in the fae world. You would do damn well to remember that.”
I glanced between them, unsure of what to do. I stared at Elsa in shocked amazement. Wow, this was one incredible woman. She reminded me so much of her sister, and it made me miss Freya even more.
“Fine,” Forrest growled. “You have my word.”
“Good.” Elsa flashed him a triumphant smile. “It’s been a long day with emotions running high. Silvy, why don’t you come with me?”
I hesitated, then rose. Forrest turned away from us.
I followed Elsa to the hall, still stunned. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you stood up for my sister and I’m grateful for that,” Elsa said. “Besides, I never could stand that awful man, and you did nothing wrong.”
We walked out of the hall and into a more private room. I guessed Forrest and the other teachers were letting her have the full run of the academy. This looked like one of the teachers’ private meeting rooms. It had dark green walls, a plush green carpet, and a large oak table stood in the centre of the room surrounded by six chairs.
“I know my sister would never kill herself, accidentally or otherwise.” Elsa walked over to a smaller table at the far end of the room and a tray of tea appeared. “Can you tell me what happened to her? I know you were there when she passed.”
I hesitated and sank down onto one of the chairs. “I walked into her room — I had disappeared for a while after a magical mishap,” I admitted. Elsa poured the tea. “She was on the floor, struggling to breathe. And she told me…” I broke down in heavy sobs. All the pain and grief I had repressed poured out. Clouds formed overhead and rain pelted down on me. Maybe I could access my other elemental affinities as well. But how the heck had I got clouds to form indoors?
Elsa came over and hugged me. She let me cry on her shoulder.
I felt humiliated. “Sorry, you had to see me cry like that.” I sniffed.
“Nonsense, it’s natural to cry. We all need to do it.” Elsa patted my hand. She’d used magic to dry herself, and the clouds and rain had finally disbursed.
She walked me back to my room. Strange, but I trusted her, even though we’d just met that morning. Or maybe part of me just wanted to hold on to something related to Freya.
“I have something I need to give you.” I opened the door, headed inside, and pulled out Freya’s grimoire. I held it out to her. “You should have this back. It belongs to you.”
Elsa pushed the book away. “Nonsense, Freya gave it to you. She would want you to keep it.”
I shook my head. “But I know grimoires are passed down through families. You should have it back. Freya only gave it to me because I was training with her.” I hung my head. “Now that’s over and done with.”
“No, you need it much more than my sister and I do. Freya left it to you. You’ll need it.”
I hesitated. “Fine, I’ll keep it for now. Like until graduation — if I make it to that.” That possibility seemed more and more doubtful by the day. One way or another, Forrest would find a way to expel me. “Thank you for what you did for me earlier. That meant a lot. Guess I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.”
Elsa chuckled. “I’m sure you will make it to graduation. Freya told me you are a tenacious little thing.” Elsa paused. “I’d like you to come to the legacy reading.”
“Me? Why? I have no place being there.” Tristan had told me legacy readings only required the family to be there. Custodial agreement or not, I wasn’t part of Freya’s family.
“Nonsense, you were an important part of Freya’s life — more important than you can imagine. You were her daughter — because of the custodial agreement. I would be honoured to have you there.”
I bit my lip. “Okay then.” I didn’t have the heart to say no to her.
Chapter 10
I tried to act normal and get back into a routine over the next few days. If I wanted to find out more about what happened to Freya, that meant going to the academy’s healing wing. At least there I could maybe dig around Madam Leticia’s files and see what I could find. Alec had told me the files there were encrypted and could only be accessed by Madam Leticia herself since everything was kept confidential.
I pushed through the doors to the healing wing and winced at the smell of disinfectant. This place reminded me of the many hospitals I’d been forced to go to over the years to undergo testing. Being a faeling meant I’d had to undergo mandatory testing to see if I showed any signs of magic. All my life, I had believed I never had any magic, but after coming to the academy I realised I did. After all, I had always been able to see auras.
The healing wing looked similar to a human hospital with its whitewashed walls and rows of beds that had been made up for possible patients. Everything was sterile and in perfect order.
Madam Leticia herself came out through another door and her blue eyes widened at me in surprise. Her dark hair was pulled back into a severe bun and she wore an old-fashioned nurse’s uniform which consisted of a full-length grey, long sleeve dress with petticoats underneath, a lace collar, and a crisp white apron over it. “Can I help you with something, Silvana?” Her aura shimmered, but I couldn’t make out any of the colours.
Argh, not again. Why did my ability keep disappearing? I clasped my hands behind my back to hide my nerves. “I heard you were looking for an assistant and I was wondering if I could apply for the position?” I’d never worked anywhere like this in my life. Though, plenty of my former foster parents had put me to work cleaning and doing household chores for them in my previous foster and group homes.
“You want to work here?” She frowned. “Forgive me, but this doesn’t seem like the place someone like you would want to work in.”
What did that mean? I had never caused her any trouble. Or had Forrest said something to her? Had he known I might apply for the position here? Damn, I really needed to learn how to keep my mouth shut.
Holy crackers, what could I say to convince her to let me have the position here?
“I’m still trying to find my place at the academy,” I admitted. “I thought this would be a good opportunity to try something new.”
That was true enough. All of my friends had their roles here. Mel was a Guardian. Alec had his blog and his hacking skills. Tristen was not only a prince but also training to be a tracker and often worked with Mel. Where did I fit into it all? I had been so busy last term training with Freya and trying to get my powers under control. The uncontrollable power part might not have changed, but I did want to find where I belonged. Most of the students of the academy already had their futures planned out. Whereas I had no ide
a what my future held or what I wanted to do with my life. Losing Freya made me realise one thing, life was short. Even if fae could live for centuries, they weren’t immortal.
“I need someone hard-working and dedicated to fill this position, Silvana. Someone who is good at remembering things and skilled with potions,” she told me. “Not someone who gets into trouble and attacks other students. You were lucky Aveline wasn’t seriously injured when you attacked her in PE class.”
“That was an accident. I have trouble controlling my powers, but I swear I’m getting better at it. I would really love the chance to prove to you I’m a good candidate for this position.” In truth, I had no idea how I would fit in working in the healing wing along with my classes and my training sessions with Lucas.
Madam Leticia hesitated. “I need someone here two days a week and sometimes during the weekends too. I know that doesn’t fit into the social life of many students here, but I will accept nothing less than the best. Do you think you can do that?” she asked. “There is nothing glamorous about working in the healing wing. There will be blood and other messes to clean up. I hope you are not squeamish.”
I shook my head. “I’m not. Believe me, I have lived on the streets, so a bit of mess isn’t going to bother me.”
“And I won’t have anyone starting fights or attacking other students whilst they are here. Are we clear on that?”
I flinched, then nodded. “I have never attacked another student on purpose, believe me. And I am grateful for this opportunity. I don’t just want to have a good chance. I want to learn more about healing too. If…If I knew more then maybe I could have saved Freya the night she died.”
Leticia gave me a sympathetic look. “Nothing could have saved Freya. She had ingested too much of the poison for any antidote to save her.” She turned around and went to a cupboard where she pulled out another apron for me. “You can start by cleaning the floors and making sure each bed has clean sheets and blankets on them. The ward may be empty now, but we get a lot of students coming in and out of here. Especially those who are training to be trackers.”
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