by Ford, Mia
And now it was going to do one more.
I tried not to scream too loudly as I came hard around the dildo. I didn’t want Sam to hear me. When the orgasm hit me I almost screamed out his actual name. That would have been very awkward, though if he’d heard it he would have enjoyed it immensely and probably never let me live it down at all.
My whole body shook as I tried to hold onto the device that had triggered me so sweetly. It was wet and my hand was having some kind of a small spasm under the weight of the orgasm. All of my muscles lost a bit of function for at least thirty seconds and my whole body just felt like it was about to drift into some sweet dream world of beautiful sleep where I never wanted to wake up.
I was just getting dressed and trying to get the feeling back in my legs when my phone rang. It was Callie.
I answered, glad to hear a friendly voice.
“Hey, how was the first day?” She asked.
“Oh, not too bad. I think I’m going to love it there,” I said.
I hadn’t told her or anyone for that matter about what was going on with Sam. Callie and I were closer than sisters, but I still didn’t trust her to be totally fine with the strange thoughts and feelings that had creeped up in my head lately. I was starting to get so stressed out. I really wanted to tell her, or somebody. It was just something I needed to get out in the open. I needed to tell someone about it or talk about it at least, but it was the sort of thing I didn’t think anyone would understand, at least no one that I knew. And I certainly wasn’t going to discuss it with Sam. So, for now I was content to just keep it to myself.
“How are things working out with Sam?” Callie asked. It was as if she were reading my mind.
“Oh, it’s ok. Sam’s a lot of fun to hang out with. We went to Sedona over the weekend. It was very cool. He says he wants to take me around and show me some more cool things about Arizona.”
“Nice. Maybe you can show me and April some things when we visit.”
“What? When are you guys doing that?”
“Oh, we were thinking either this weekend or next. My job doesn’t start for a few weeks yet and April is just kind of chilling this summer. That deadbeat said she was going to look for a part-time job, but you and I both know that she will sit around and rack up charges on her dad’s credit cards all summer.”
I laughed. “I love April, but she is emotionally sixteen.”
“Yep,” Callie said.
“So, you guys should totally come up this weekend if you can. I miss you like crazy. And you can meet Sam,” I said.
“That’s what I was thinking…” Callie said with a giggle.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied.
“Does he have a girlfriend or anything?” Callie asked.
“No, not that I know of. He seems to be a bit of a player,” I said.
I wasn’t actually sure of this, but as Callie kept asking me about him expressing obvious interest I found myself getting somehow… jealous? Was I really getting jealous of my friend’s crush on my cousin?
Wow, I knew right then that this thing between Sam and I was progressing. It was starting to take on a life of its own.
And I felt powerless to stop it. If I even wanted to…
“Well, who says I’m looking for anything serious? Sometimes, a girl just needs some fun with a bad boy,” Callie said. I could hear her smile through the phone.
I had a sudden urge to reach through the phone and strangle her on the spot. Why was I getting so upset by the way she was talking about Sam? Ugh, this was driving me insane. I had to get a grip on myself. Was I really starting to entertain the real idea of Sam and I becoming a thing? It felt like the fantasy was starting to cross a line.
“That’s messed up,” I said.
“Why? Why is that messed up? I’m moving to a new city and starting a new job, the same as you. The last thing I want is to start some serious relationship. Your cousin is hot, and if he isn’t looking for anything more than just some sweet fun, then I think I would love to take advantage of it. Where is the harm in that? We can skip all the bull and just get right down to it. Haven’t you ever had a relationship like that? Sometimes it’s nice to just relax and have fun. It almost makes it all the more easier.”
I sighed. I knew exactly what she was talking about.
“Yeah, of course, but therein lies the trap; what if you start out just having fun and because you aren’t all caught up in the emotional drama of a burgeoning relationship, it develops naturally. Then you are stuck.”
“When did you become Dr. Phil?” Callie asked with a laugh.
“Dr. Phil? Nah, I think I’m more like our generation’s Dr. Ruth,” I chuckled back.
“Ok, well then it is settled,” Callie said. “April and I will come down this weekend and we will have a blast.”
“Sounds great,” I said.
And I was being truthful. It really did sound nice to have my friends around me and to get some semblance of normalcy back into my life. Maybe it would get my mind off of the weird thing with Sam.
If I didn’t become overwhelmed with rabid jealousy first.
Whatever this thing was, I needed to get to the bottom of it and get it off my mind.
I was prepared to do whatever it took.
* * *
“So, good food?” Sam asked as he grabbed my plate and began loading up the dishwasher.
“Yeah, it was,” I replied. “That is the best Mexican food I may have ever tasted. I can’t believe they deliver, too.”
“Yeah, here in Arizona, we have some really authentic Mexican food. It’s the best,” Sam said.
He grabbed a few beers and I followed him over to the couch where we’d planned to just relax and watch some television. I should have been working, trying to get things ready for tomorrow, but after a long first day I was dead tired. I just wanted to relax a little bit, not think about the awkwardness between Sam and I, and enjoy a beer or two.
I definitely didn’t want to talk anymore about the stupid text message or the kiss from last night. As far as I was concerned we’d moved past it and it was done, even if it did still feel a bit weird. Dammit. No matter, what I did I couldn’t totally shake these weird emotions and feelings that kept bubbling up to the surface.
“So, some of my friends are coming in this weekend to visit,” I said trying to keep the mood light. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Nah, the more the merrier,” Sam replied. “You can come and see my band play if you want.”
“Oh? You have a gig this weekend?” I asked genuinely interested. I’d never really heard any of Sam’s music and I was truly intrigued to see what sort of sounds they might have come up with.
“Yeah, it’s one of the regular places we play at,” Sam said.
He didn’t seem to be trying to impress me at all; everything was being said in a very matter of fact manner, which actually impressed me much more. I hated it when someone tried too hard to get me interested in something they were interested in. It was one thing to be passionate about something, but to really be bragging to someone else about it was a huge turnoff.
“What kind of music do you play?” I asked.
Sam paused a moment before responding.
“Oh, we do a mix of hard rock with some softer rock stuff thrown in there. We do mostly electric, but we do have a few acoustic based numbers, like the one I’ve been working on the past few days.”
“You’ve been working on a new song?” I asked. “I’d love to hear it.”
Sam smiled and got up from the couch.
He walked into his room and returned a moment later with a shiny, black, acoustic guitar. Judging by the way he treated his instrument I could clearly see that he had a special bond with it. I found this interesting and attractive. God, it seemed like everything that Sam did I found alluring in some way. When would this curse stop? I was already regretting asking him to play for me. I think I kept hoping maybe he would be terrible and that every time I felt an urge for
him I could remember how untalented he actually was at something, because so far everything I’d seen him do he’d been amazing at or looked really great doing it.
“Ok,” Sam said. “Now, this song is called ‘Underneath’ and I have to warn you that I’m not the singer for this band, although I used to sing for the other bands I was in, so I don’t think my voice is terrible, but I guess you can judge it for yourself.”
“OK,” I laughed. Was he nervous? It was cute.
Sam began playing a soft, atmospheric chord progression. The sound filled the room nicely, echoing a sweet, melancholy feel to the air around me. I realized it was almost like being in my very own concert where I was being serenaded by a lover. It was nice and comforting. I felt truly special and almost blessed in a way to be there having all of this focus on me.
And as Sam began to sing and I listened to his sweet words and his thick, yet gravelly voice singing to me, I began to get very turned on. This was all starting to backfire. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to be there with him. I wanted to feel him, touch him, kiss him—why couldn’t this be? Why did we have to feel so ashamed?
I tried to keep my bearings and remember that I was watching my cousin sing this song, but my body was responding to him. I was getting warm, my skin started to tingle, my breathing became a bit shallow and quick, and I could feel small beads of sweat pouring down my back into my bra, which I wished Sam would just rip off me so he could run his fingers along my tender, breasts.
I was getting so wet.
Everything about this was so wrong, which is exactly what made it so damn hot. I wanted my cousin Sam to hump my brains out, and the more I confirmed this in my mind, the closer to becoming a reality I knew it would be. And I was fine with that. It would have just relieved so much of the anxiety and pent up sexual frustration I felt. I just wanted that sweet release, the kind that only forbidden lust can render to you.
But as soon as I all but accepted my feelings and actually came to the decision to act upon them, all of the logic and reasoning buried within my mind came to the forefront and screamed out “NO!” as loudly as it could.
This would not happen. I would never be able to live it down and even if no one in our family found out about it, I would never be able to look them in the eye. I would always feel guilty and ashamed of it.
Sam finished the song and I sat there stunned for several moments. I didn’t realize that he’d even finished at first; I was so wrapped up in the inner turmoil and tug of war between my rational thoughts and my animalistic desires. I was so confused. My head felt like it was splitting wide open and my body was starting to rebel against me.
“So, what did you think?” Sam asked. “I mean; I’m not totally finished. I do want to smooth out a few things, but that is the basic gist of it.”
I tried to speak, but my voice was too dry. I swallowed and licked my lips.
“It was great,” I said. “It’s beautiful.”
Sam smiled and sat his guitar down on the floor beside him. “I hope the guys like it. They haven’t been as keen on the more melodic direction I’ve been taking the band in, but it’s what the people want, so for right now we need to play ball, right?”
“Um, yeah,” I said, even though I barely heard anything he was saying. I was fighting the urge to just stand up and wrap my arms around Sam. My lips were aching to touch his again and my body was screaming out for his touch. His arms around me, his voice whispering sexy things into my ear, his lips all over me, and his huge package ready to do my bidding—I couldn’t take it anymore.
I excused myself to my room. “I think I might go to bed soon,” I said.
“Really? It’s pretty early…” Sam said.
“Yeah, but I have work tomorrow and I need to get up early. I want to get a big jump on my assignment.”
“Oh, ok,” Sam replied. “Goodnight.”
I said goodnight and went to my room where I locked the door and laid down in my bed. What was happening to me? This was getting worse and I knew that the more time I spent around Sam the more likely it was that I was going to become overcome with my feelings and that something was going to happen between us that we would both regret. At least, I liked to think we both would have regretted it; odds were that Sam would have relished it and probably wanted to do it again and again.
The thought was beautiful, but I knew that I couldn’t let this go on. I wasn’t sure if I could live with myself if I’d allowed that to happen. The guilt would have consumed me crazy.
I made the decision right then and there that I had to start looking earnestly for a new place to live. I couldn’t be around Sam for much longer.
I had to get out of there.
Chapter Ten
Sam
I finished the last notes of the “Bring ‘em down!” solo and then strummed the final big, power chords to end the song playing in total unison with the rest of my band. We held the final chords and played to the small crowd of about thirty people (about twenty more than we were used to) and waited until our drummer played us out, jamming on the last chord.
“Thank you ladies and gentlemen!” Chase roared into the microphone. “You’ve been an awesome audience. Please order some more drinks, don’t forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders, and if you want to check out our merchandise booth, we have everything set up right in the back right corner. Thank you and goodnight!”
A few people clapped and then went back to their friends, dart games, pool games, and drinking games. I sat my guitar down and locked it into my stand so it wouldn’t fall over. Stretching my back I let out a large yawn. It had been a busy week, working on the new songs, recording some demos, and hitting practice hard in anticipation of this gig. I’d also been doing a lot of promotion on social media trying to hype up the show.
It was difficult to tell if it had worked or not, but there were people actually at the bar. I had no idea if most of them were there to see us or not, but it was nice to play to somebody. Either way, even if no one else had shown up I knew some people who had actually come just to see us play.
And they were seated at a table right in front of the stage. I’d been playing to them all night, well, at least I’d been playing to one of them all night. Beautiful Kay. When she said her girlfriends were coming into town and that they all wanted to see my band play I was pretty excited, even though I played it off coolly. And then I’d launched into that beautiful song I’d written. I don’t think that Kay realized immediately that the song was actually about her, but she did get a bit freaked out.
Everything was still going according to plan. I knew that Kay was having more mixed feelings than she knew how to deal with and out of all that her true feelings would rise to the top and she and I would have some special times together. I just had to be patient. And now her girlfriends were here to give me more fuel to trigger Kay’s true feelings about me.
I grabbed a beer from the bar and sat down at the table. At first I didn’t say anything. I was just enjoying the beer and allowing my body to rest a minute. Every time during my set when I looked at Kay’s table I saw a look of lust emanating from April, Callie, and Kay, who kept trying to hide it. The rock and roll thing had always been sexy to women, at least as far as I could tell from my own experience. And of course, it didn’t work on all women, but if a woman was really enjoying herself and the music spoke to her or where she was in her life then it was something that bonded the two of you together. I’d first discovered this when I was a teenager. Back then especially, you didn’t even have to be good. If you looked cool, acted like you had a twelve-inch rod between your legs, and played with confidence and conviction then women would pretty much be eating out of your hand. And it turned out all these years later, it was still true for the most part.
“You guys are great!” Callie said after I’d been sitting for a minute.
“Thanks,” I replied. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“Yeah! Real
ly good!” April chimed in. I nodded and smiled.
“So, what did you think, Kay?” I asked.
Kay was looking at the table but then she slowly allowed her gaze to rise up to meet mine. I could see the lust, the passion in her eyes, and the confusion—she was trying so hard to keep those feelings locked away. I felt almost a little bit bad for torturing her this way, but I knew that the payoff would be worth it to both of us. I felt a strong connection between us that couldn’t really be explained; it wasn’t our fault that we’d been born to parents who happened to be siblings.
“You guys are really good,” Kay said.
“Thanks,” Chase said sitting down beside me. Our drummer was still loading up his drums into their respective cases and our bass player had headed for the bathroom. None of us had any idea what sort of substances he might have been doing in there and we didn’t ask. I’ve always been very anti-drug, but he was a good bass player who never let it interfere with his playing, so who were we to judge?
“Chase, this is April, Callie, and of course you know my cousin Kay,” I said introducing our charismatic singer to everyone.
Callie and April both stared at Chase like he was the second coming of David Lee Roth. I had to admit he was a good looking cat, which helped him get away with not being the best singer in the world. He had his own unique voice, and he was a great front man, but his actual vocal ability left little to be desired. Technically, I was a better singer, but I’d learned that the other talents Chase had were going to be a better sell then what I did behind a mic. Besides, I enjoyed not having to worry about singing as much and I loved just playing guitar. It was refreshing.